Jessica's Secret

by Mia Wolfe

  Evan gave the impression that he was full of knowledge about things and off into his own world, ruminating over interesting thoughts and ideas. He seemed to Jessica only a few years older than herself. Her olfactory nerve became stimulated with his scent; old spice deodorant and pheromones.

  “I prefer science – I don’t enjoy reading about philosophy. I’d rather learn about how something works.”

  He noticed the way her dark hair shimmered in the bright, natural light.

  “I like psychology, not so sure about philosophy yet.”

  “What else are you interested in? What prompted you to read this book about courtesans?”

  Evan wanted to know more about her; sensing her hesitancy, he was careful to take it slow.

  Jessica inhaled a deep breath. His curiosity toward her made her feel as if she was the one on display, except this time she was unprepared. She was on display, not for a client, but rather for someone she found very aesthetically pleasing. This young man’s eagerness to know more about her, coupled with his physical presence in her vicinity made her all too aware of his masculine energy.

  Brooding with virile features he was, as evidenced by the throbbing veins in his arms, covered with dark, curly hairs. Evan’s attentiveness to the girl made her feel that she was indeed, a girl, and that she was safe in his vicinity. He posed no threat, no danger; she felt comfortable, so she spoke about all of the things which interested her: women’s rights, literature, psychology, neuropathology, developmental disorders, her life. He listened attentively as she spoke, and her eyes showed a deep delight in him admiring her.

  Chapter 9 – Date

  Once the flight had landed, Evan asked Jessica for her phone number. She obliged as she felt an intense connection to this stranger who asked her too many questions about herself. Jessica had begun to feel a void lately – an aching to have a sensual encounter with a partner she was sexually attracted to. Of course, she was still adamant on avoiding any emotional attachment whatsoever, but some part within her wanted to experience hands whose feel she enjoyed, sliding over her body. Various opposing thoughts clamored inside her, but when she looked over to Evan, she was much too curious about the stranger with the carefree demeanor and mischievous grin.

  On the fourth day of being back in LA after her trip to her sugar daddy in St. Louis, Evan called her to set up a date for the weekend. Feelings of happiness were clouded with anxiety, once she reminded herself of the fact that she was a working girl and that kind of information ought to be shared with sexual partners.

  Early Saturday morning Jessica awoke to the sounds of birds chirping with delight outside her window and the turquoise glow of a sunlit sky. She made a chai coffee drink, wrote in her journal by the ocean, then spent the day relaxing and preparing for her date.

  Baths were her favorite, so she took an extra-long one and relaxed in the tub for some time, pondering over the events that had taken place and the effects that they’d had. Then she thought of more pleasant things, like how marvelous the ocean air felt against her face and how Evan had made her feel butterflies, when during the past six months she had attempted to repel romance.

  A form fitting lavender dress enhanced her bosom and beige wedge sandals accentuated Jessica’s long, tan, shapely legs. Evan greeted her with a tender hug and she sat down across the white linen table in front of him, the chandelier lights dancing on the wine glasses between them. The ultramarine colored sweater Evan was wearing enhanced the teal hues in his eyes. His perpetual gaze on her made Jessica feel bashful.

  “How was your time in St. Louis visiting your friend?”

  “Good, thanks. We went to a comedy show, play and some restaurants,” Jessica tried to conceal her blush.

  She left out the part about how she was paid $5,000 for the weekend to accompany a man twice Evan’s age. She hated lying, even by omission – it didn’t feel natural for her. But she had to, there was no other choice. People could never understand something so shocking about a person.

  Chapter 10 – Dinner

  After one glass of wine Jessica felt more at ease and less apprehensive. Evan had a tendency to make one feel that he was in charge, allowing the other person to relax while he took the lead. Jessica enjoyed this approach; by being stripped of any demands on her, she could allow herself to be in the moment and have a pleasant, stress-free stream of consciousness.

  She twirled her hair as he asked her numerous questions about her life. When clients would ask her questions, she was always ready with different answers, all of them equally false. When Evan asked her, suddenly she felt unprepared and had to organize her thoughts before speaking. She felt bare and exposed in front of him, her true self revealed after being barren for so long.

  “It sounds like you’ve had several adventures over the past few years then,” Evan’s voice came soothingly.

  He spoke to her and she tended to every word, eager to take his words as part of her, in her ears, the vibrations on her skin. She thought he was so smart, from the way he seemed to have so much knowledge about the world, science, technology, politics. He’d traveled to nearly every country and every state in the U.S., which impressed a girl who had only been to an airport a few times in her life.

  After graduating from a prestigious business school in Paris, Evan began a string of companies and now was the CEO of three of them at the age of thirty-two. He had never been in a long-term relationship, and never lived with a woman, despite the number of flings. Evan attributed his lack of long-term relationships to his frequent moving and living in various countries over the past few years.

  After revealing that she had just come out of a long-term marriage, Evan told Jessica he hoped she was adjusting well.

  “I thought I would spend some time adjusting to single life and figuring out this new adult phase,” the words came out softly as the wine made her feel warm.

  “That’s a valid point,” Evan assured her.

  “What about you?”

  “I’ve been on quite a few dates, with different girls since my last relationship, but nothing more than a couple of dates here and there. It just never worked out.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Different reasons. One girl didn’t appreciate a joke I made. We didn’t seem to share a sense of humor. Another girl was an abortion doctor and I just couldn’t get past how easily she spoke of it. I didn’t think I could be around her long-term. She was talking about skull crushing and such.”

  Jessica fixated on the movement of his soft lips against the perfectly white teeth as he spoke.

  "Wow, heavy topic for a first date.”

  Evan chuckled, “Yeah, and I like babies. I like babies but I’m also pro-choice. That doesn’t mean I want to hear a play by play of skull crushing though. It made me uncomfortable and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it long-term.”

  “You like babies?”

  “I love babies!”

  Jessica laughed at this revelation. Evan was the first man she had ever spoken to who exclaimed he loved babies, except for Charles when he’d gone baby crazy after the miscarriage. Looking at Evan one would never suspect that this testosterone-filled individual loved babies. Perhaps, when men hit their thirties, their biological clocks begin ticking as well.

  “Does that make you uncomfortable?” He asked her.

  “Not really,” she smiled at him.

  “Good, because I like many other things as well, some of a much darker nature than babies.”

  She blushed and wondered what he meant by this.

  “Elaborate,” she requested.

  “I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”

  By the time dinner was over and their entrees had been removed, Jessica had a stirring restlessness inside her for something else. She was preoccupied with thoughts of Evan, and she found herself wondering what lay underneath the sweater. What did his chest feel like? She wanted to feel the definition of it, to see whether there was hair there or not. She wanted to be ab
le to lightly trace his collarbone with her lips and to inhale the scent of him, to feel his breath on her skin.

  “Do you want to come to Florida with me some time?” he asked her.

  “I love Florida,” she said, “how did you know?”

  “I just assumed, because you love the ocean, and don’t mind humid weather.”

  “I do,” she smiled, “maybe I will come then.”

  “Good. We can go sailing and lay out. I know some very nice restaurants there.”

  “Sounds fun.”

  “It will be. There will be lots of fun and some seriousness.”

  “Seriousness? What do you mean by that?”

  “I have a house on the beach. We’ll have a great time. But, there are some things we’ll have to discuss. Rules, to be more specific.” he looked at her in an authoritarian manner.

  She gazed at him, looking for an explanation.

  He leaned over, connected eyes with her and said, “It seems like you’ve been a little tense lately and I think you just want to relax for a little bit. I like that idea and I want to help you relax.”

  “How do you plan on doing that?” she was curious about his response.

  “I think you want to lay back for a few days and let someone else take care of you, but only someone you trust, and you trust me. And I also know that you like the idea of having some rules to follow like a good girl.”

  She gulped a breath of air the size of Lake Superior, “How do you know that I trust you?” Jessica felt hot and heavy under his piercing gaze.

  “Your response rhythms and diction are telling,” he reached over and lightly traced the tips of his fingers against her hair and then down over her ear. Her chest tingled; her senses awoke from his contact.

  She felt the electric warmth of his touch and an immediate feeling of safety and ease washed over her. They got up and he drove her to the theater, sharing details about each other’s lives. In the theater they sat next to each other, elbows resting gently against one another, enjoying the feel of warm, living skin pulsing underneath. As they turned down the lights, Evan moved closer so that his shoulder was resting against Jessica’s.

  She tried to engross herself in the play, which was funny and captivating, but her mind continuously wandered to thoughts of tantalizing activities they could engage in, right in the theater. When he moved his leg and brushed it against hers, then began to rub it up and down, she felt a tightening sensation in her breasts and a pressure in her pelvis. Maybe it was the time of her cycle, she thought, but she could not help being insatiably aroused at his touch.

  Chapter 11 – Florida

  After eight weeks of dating, Jessica and Evan learned a lot about each other. They both seemed to enjoy similar activities: traveling, learning, reading, comedy, and they spent a lot of time cooking and talking with one another. He made her laugh until she was in tears, and sometimes she would playfully slap him out of frustration.

  He treasured those moments where her unique perspective shone through. She loved to listen to Evan discuss biology and politics, and he reveled in broadening her horizons with new adventures and cuisines. Evan introduced her to Malaysian and Vietnamese food for her first time.

  On the three-month mark since their first meet, Evan took Jessica to Siesta Key for a week. She became excited to see the familiar sights, as it was a place she had visited with her family throughout her teenage years.

  “You look beautiful in that red sundress,” Evan told Jessica at they arrived at the beach house after a long flight, “too bad I’m going to ruin it later.”

  “You wouldn’t dare!”

  “I’ll replace it, and I will get you four more.”

  “This dress has sentimental value!” Jessica’s pitch was slightly higher as she responded to him with excitement in her voice.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Never mind.”

  “Shh. Just be a good girl and relax,” Evan gave her a light kiss on the ear and rubbed his hand on the back of her neck, his voice sending Jessica into a state of relaxation.

  “Would you ever live somewhere really cold?” She inquired.

  “I lived in Alaska for a while when I was young.”

  “Why did you move?”

  “My parents got divorced. My father left my mother while she was pregnant with my youngest sister to be with his secretary.”

  “Wow, that must have been rough at such a young age.”

  “Yeah, it was confusing. I remember waking up one day and thinking our house had been robbed because half of the furniture was gone. I had to visit my father at his apartment. That was the weird part – seeing him living by himself,” Evan recollected.

  “Do you ever talk to him?”

  “No, I wrote him a letter many years ago and that was the last time.”

  Jessica felt sympathy for the people whose absence of a father affected them.

  “My dad was around, but he never spoke to me because I’m a girl and he didn’t know how to deal with me maybe? I’m not really sure. I just never felt comfortable around him because he never reached out to me or made an effort to talk to me. It was always “hi” and “bye” or listening to him yell when I was in trouble. I don’t know anything about him. I’ve only had a few conversations with him in my entire life. It’s very odd. He’s just this guy who is my father who lives in the house my mom lives in but I don’t know him, though I know my mom and brother.”

  “Does this sharing make you feel closer?” Evan smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss.

  Jessica thwarted his advance by a hand on his firm chest, “Is that why you seem to have strong paternal instincts?”

  “It’s possible. I want to be a good father to my children. Has this baby talk put you in the mood yet, mademoiselle?”

  Jessica stared at him with an amused expression and in a low voice uttered, “I’m both crept out by your baby talk and minimally aroused at your manly ways.”

  “I like knowing things about you. You’re important to me,” he leaned in toward her neck, breathing in subtle and sweet notes of jasmine and vanilla, then,

  “Remember those rules we talked about?”

  “What about them?”

  “When you spoke of how unhappy you had been in your marriage, especially the sexual problems you described, I thought we might be on the same page with regard to some bedroom activities.”

  “What kind of bedroom activities?”

  “The desires I’ve heard you speak of seem to indicate that you have a preference for things of a rougher nature. Maybe you hated sex in your marriage so much because from what you described, it was fairly vanilla, and you prefer to be tossed around instead.”

  Jessica blushed and her eyes grew wide, concealing a smile, “Maybe.”

  “I think so, dear girl. When you were so unhappy you wished for someone to come and take control of you properly. You wanted to be tossed about and dirty talked into submission. I think you have a lot of fantasies involving giving up control. I think you’d like to have me control your pleasure, make the decision of when you come or don’t. I think you like the idea of giving up your control, knowing that it is safe in my hands to lead you to where I want you to go.”

  “Yes, I like those things.”

  “Good. I want to be the one to give you an orgasm. But, one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  Evan touched her knee, looked into her face which was growing familiar and said, “Those orgasms belong to me now, not you anymore. I say when you can have one and decide when you don’t.”

  He moved his hand up the length of her thigh as goosebumps began to waltz on her skin. Her breathing slowed.

  Evan continued, “I want to take you to subspace.”

  “I’ve always wanted to go to subspace.”

  Evan gave her a very quizzical expression, “How do you know about subspace?”

  She scratched her head during a momentary pause, “I know a lot of things,” she smiled sheepishly a
t him.

  “Very well then, so I don’t have to describe to you about how when I tell you to get on the bed with your ass up because you’re about to get fucked, it is the rule. I suppose you also know what edging is, the act where I keep teasing you until you’re right at the edge, at which point I’ll stop, delaying your orgasm. I’m going to keep doing this to you until you’re practically in tears, unable to fathom anything besides the intensity of the pain and pleasure warring with each other, filling your insides, wishing I was filling you with something else, a healthy dose of vitamin D.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that,” she laughed at the silly, absurd reference, “Feels weird to laugh while aroused.”

  “Oh, you’re aroused, huh? Mm, that’s good, because when good girls are aroused, they’re extra compliant.”

  She grew warm and receptive to his touch, her body keenly aware of his being. He leaned in again to her and kissed her neck as she relaxed into his strength.

  “What else do you want to do, besides the edging and orgasm control?”

  He looked up at her and said, “I’m impressed with you vast BDSM knowledge. You’ll have to tell me about it sometime, when you’re ready. In the meantime, I’m going to need you to address me as Sir, and to be a good girl and ask for permission to do things.”

  “What about when we’re apart?”

  “You still have to ask me for permission. That’s how it works. You can use whatever visual stimuli you would like, but I want you to come for me only. Does that make sense?”

  She thought for a moment, “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good girl,” he pulled her close by a fistful of hair, and as quickly as the words escaped him, he was heavy with his lips against hers; his mouth eagerly exploring, taking hers in a possessive manner, licking, nibbling, tasting her rosy mouth. Jessica, relishing the sensation of pricks on her scalp from her hair being intertwined among his fingers enjoyed the feel of his strength against her. She grew restless in her seated position and wished to be engulfed by his grand stature instead.