Hearts' Desires

by Anke Napp

  Well, he wanted to speak with the crew responsible for the lighting, and then the wranglers – simply with every one…

  The actors and the rest of the crew passed their time talking, eating, or having a catnap. Max Dumont turned on the busses radio in search of something interesting. And that, he got! Drowsy from the heat behind the windshield, he caught some news, distorted by static.

  “…at this point not able to evaluate the situation in the capital… heavy losses in the ranks of the local police…”

  Max was startled and tried to get a better lock on the broadcast.

  “… That the rebels move southwards in order to evade…. And mobilizing the National Guard…”

  The agitated voice of the news reporter spoke of civilian casualties and fugitives in the embassies. Shortly after, he knew where this revolt had happened, and a shiver ran down his spine. Zimbabwe. And the film crew would move to the National Park near the border to Zimbabwe for the last sequences! Max felt sweat drop on the instrument panel and wiped off his forehead. The radio voice faded into more sizzling static. They had still two weeks until they would move to that location. Still… or only? A lot could happen in two weeks, for better or worse! The situation could stabilize - or it could get completely out of control and spill over the border into South Africa. He looked out and discovered Alison still talking with the Animal Welfare - guy. He would tell her later when they were back from this set. He got up and went to the back of the bus to grab a cold mineral water from the ice box.

  Still no sign of the stuntmen.

  Alison had decided to shoot at least the starting scene of the hunting sequence, because one of the supporting actors, Piet, had an urgent appointment tomorrow. Bad timing again! So they rearranged everything and finally gathered around Vance and his colleagues. The armorer handed them the rifles and the wrangler gave them last instructions concerning the horses.

  "Riding experience?" he asked in the actors' direction.

  "You're joking, man?" Piet grinned - and with a swift elegant movement, he was up in the saddle. Wayland seemed to be good in any kind of sport – only some moments ago he had talked about his placement in the last surfer’s competition – and horses weren’t strange to him either. Obviously, no problems would arise from that side, and the trainer focused on Vance.

  "It's been while," he answered. It had been quite a while, to be honest! "But I'll manage. As long as you aren't a particularly wild devil horse, pal!" he gave the animal a friendly pat and got a nudge in return.

  Alison strongly hoped that this part could be managed today. When the clapperboard sounded, she exhaled a silent prayer to the powers of destiny that they might abstain from interfering negatively again…

  Marens stood next to his horse, a determined annoyed look on his face, while he put the flask back in his pocket. “Let's move!” he sneered at the hunting party and lifted himself onto the saddle.

  “Arend, are you sure you’re fit for the hunt?”

  “Even half dead I would be a better shot than you!” He kicked the animal’s side sharply and rode ahead, quickly followed by camera 2.

  “Hey, didn’t your daughter want to come along? Shouldn’t we wait?” sounded Piet’s voice from the sideline.

  Camera 3 caught Maren’s bitter face while he remained silent.

  "Cut!" Alison spread her hands. "Jake, let's see what we got!"

  After a light lunch consisting of sandwiches and coffee, the team was waiting again. Meredith from the make-up team tried to teach Thabo to play guitar. He succeeded in some awkward chords and much friendly laughter. Vance had propped his feet on an empty cable box and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair as far as he could. This was going to be a long afternoon. His thoughts wandered to Carolyn again – and as fate would have it, Lauren sat down next to him in exactly that moment.

  “Hi, Vance.” Her voice was as sweet as sugar. “Hope you are not angry anymore?”

  He opened his eyes, discovered her face decorated with a seducing smile all too close. Moreover, she wore a very tight tank top and a likewise tight, very short pair of jeans. Dressed to kill.

  “No,” he answered, standing up almost a little too fast. The chair hit the car behind it. “I’m sorry, Lauren. Uhm… I’ll be back soon.”

  Vance walked in the direction of the toilets and began to feel like an idiot. He was not only running away from his wife and home – now he was running from a little girl’s chaotic hormones as well! What bullshit! When he passed the waiting horses, he had a spontaneous idea how to get away from Lauren and clear his mind. He felt a headache coming on anyway.

  “Boy?” He bowed down to the youngster guarding the horses, who was sitting on the ground. “Do you think I could go on a little ride?”

  “Uh… Sir…” The boy jumped up. “Master Henning had said the horses should be kept quiet…”

  “Well, I won’t go on a race. Just a smooth and quiet little ride.”

  “Uh… I don’t know… Don’t want trouble, Sir.”

  “If anything happens, I’ll take full responsibility.”

  Still, the boy only shifted his weight uneasily.

  “What if I give you an autograph?”

  Now the boy’s black eyes began to shine. “Oh really, you would do that? I could trade it for one of Carl’s rugby cards!” He stretched his hand.

  Vance forced a smile. Being exchanged for a rugby player was not what he had in mind. But… shortly after, he was in the saddle of the same horse he had been riding during the starting scene. When he had left the little ‘camp’ behind his muscles relaxed. His body adjusted, remembered, and his head did the same. It was as if the distance separating him from his childhood days was suddenly shrinking. The smell of the air was the same, and the landscape, and the sounds of the birds echoing from the near water course…

  With every step of the horse, the storm of anger and dissatisfaction in his thoughts settled down a little more. Vance patted the horse’s neck and nudged it with a little kick to run faster over the cushions of pink and orange spring flowers. Yes, it felt good. Free. Free from everything!

  A bit later, a green-yellow spot in front of him had resolved into some Sweet-Thorn-trees in full bloom and some bushes near the water. When he had reached the little ‘oasis’, Vance dismounted and wrapped the reins around a thick branch. This was definitely a better place to wait for the start of today’s filming –if it would start at all! He sat down and leaned back against the tree, observing the light sparkles the sun produced on the water. Some flowers grew next to him. He picked one and snipped the broad flower’s head off. It flew like a little UFO and landed on the water, where it peacefully sailed away. A game, Vance and his friends had played often during their childhood days.

  I should have come back, he thought and closed his eyes. Instead of trying to make a movie career!

  Vance smiled sadly. In all those years, a part of him had remained here, and now the missing part was suddenly back, knocking at the door of his mind. Vance looked at his own blurred image in the water. Had it been worth the sacrifices?

  The only time I can use some of my acting skills are when I have to show up at an official event with Carolyn! And even those have become scarcer with the years…. He searched for his cigarettes and realized he had left them in the vest, which hang over the chair in the camp. Let's face it, you're over the hill, he said to himself and leaned back. The sun danced through the leaves, touching his face now and then with its warmth like the hands of a graceful goddess. Maybe the magic of his childhood was still there, hidden somewhere and waiting to be revealed? Maybe not all the dreams, not all the joy, had withered?

  --”Vance?”

  The voice blended so perfectly into his dream’s landscape, that it didn’t wake him. However, the hand shaking his shoulder the next moment did.

  Still slightly disorientated, he turned around, blinked, and discovered Alison standing at his side. “Ah… sorry… looks as if I was quite tired…” He cleared h
is throat and stood up. “Guess all are searching for me, because it is time for work!”

  “No,” she answered. “No filming today. The stuntmen have arrived, but it is too late already. A hunting party at night wasn’t what I had planned. Fortunately, there was no need to search for you; Jake saw you leaving on your little joy-ride.”

  “And so you hit the road to dump a full load of reprimands over me…” Vance reached out for the reins of his horse.

  “Actually… I took the opportunity for a little ride myself. My father had a horse farm, and I-“

  A sudden breeze snatched her hat. She made a hasty step forward to catch it, forgot the wet ground near the water – and already was down, simultaneously with Vance’s cry to watch out.

  She covered her face with her hands.

  “Alison? You’re alright?” He ran to her, ready to help. Now she looked up, and he discovered that she was not crying but laughing. Moreover, her right hand, with which she had tried to prevent her fall, had been full of brown mud and therefore had left a mark in her face.

  Vance had to laugh as well. He just couldn’t help himself.

  “My God,” Alison managed under tears, “this is exactly like the stupid scene in that movie… you know… the one with the English lady in the Everglades…” She tried to pull herself together and get up. “Sorry, you must think I – ah!”

  She would have fallen again, and this time right into the water, had Vance not caught her in time.

  “Aw… crap! My foot… Thank you.”

  Leaning on his arm, Alison hobbled to safe ground near the trees, where she inspected the damage.

  “I stumbled out of the cab in L.A., on the day of our departure. I’ll need a bandage now, I suppose...”

  She tried in vain to wipe the mud from her skirt and glanced to Vance, who did not look better than she. “I have ruined your suit as well. Sorry.”

  “What can I say…” His gaze wandered down his body and then back to her. “Can’t deny it. Come on. Or Max will send a search party after both of us!”

  “Yes.” She massaged her foot again. “And I don’t want to read that story in the tabloids!” Saying that, she looked up again and tossed her hair back. Despite the annoyed sound of her voice, a little smile crossed her lips.

  She is beautiful. The realization hit Vance like a shock. He glanced back over his shoulder, as if he had heard something behind him, then turned around again, suddenly watching his expressions and actions very carefully, before he lent her a hand.

  The unbearable heat of the last day had built up to give birth to an immense thunderstorm. The film team had barely reached their accommodation in the old hotel, when it broke loose. For nearly all, there was no way to find sleep. Only Jake snored – he had drained a few glasses of Bourbon after a telephone call with his lawyer concerning his pending divorce.

  Vance sat at the half-opened window, delighted by the unleashed forces of nature and smoked his fourth cigarette. He couldn’t get the image of Alison out of his thoughts, how she stood there with dirty face and loose hair and smiling… This affected him even more than Lauren’s obvious advances. He pulled the chair back, to get himself and his cigarette out of the suddenly changing direction of the smashing rain. Somewhere in the close distance, lightning struck again; for the fraction of a second the sky was illuminated in a strange yellow white.

  Vance felt lonely. Not in the way that would make him go over and knock on Lauren’s door, though. It was not exactly that kind of loneliness… Or was it, after all? At least… it would take his mind off other things… He threw the butt out of the window.

  What are you thinking, man? Want to get in trouble like Jake? No, a fling with this chick was certainly not worth it. It would not fill his loneliness with anything; only numb it for a few minutes. Without looking, Vance fumbled for his pack of Luckies and found it empty.

  Shit… Maybe Carolyn is right. I’m going to kill myself with this. Carolyn. This night in particular reminded Vance of her. How they first met, 10 years ago. She had been the real estate agent who managed the sale of that condo with ocean view. A beautiful place, oh yes. And after the inspection, a thunderstorm broke loose and he sat with the likewise beautiful agent in his not-yet-new-home. It was a hot clash of nature outside – and became a passionate night within…

  Where had that passion and everything else gone, he wondered. How was it possible for these things to slip away unnoticed until Carolyn and he just shouted at each other? Was aging the reason? The fact that his wife almost desperately tried to conserve the appearance of thirty-something, with the help of surgery, botox and diets, and with every passing year became more jealous some chick could snatch him from her? If there was anything pushing him away, it was this obsession, this possessiveness.

  Another thunder roared over the landscape. Vance stood up and reached for his cell phone, still hesitating for a moment. Then he dialed the number of his apartment in L.A. After some time, a voice answered. He recognized the Chinese housemaid.

  “Maylin, this is Vance. Is my wife at home?”

  “No, I’m sorry. Misses Van Sorel is at a conference. Do you want to leave her a message?”

  “No. Thank you. It’s not important. Bye.” He hung up and sighed. Automatically, he grabbed the empty cigarette package, realized his mistake and frustrated threw it into the trash bin. The thunderstorm was slowly moving away. Maybe he could get some rest. He went to the window and closed the shutters.

  Alison was worried. Max’ news about the rebellion in Zimbabwe had been a shock. She had got some more information via the installed TV set. The uprising against the corrupt government had at first been supported by the military, but now it seemed as if the government had cut a sinister deal. Fights between loyal troops and rebels took place everywhere, but the focus of the action was the south of the country. Thousands of refugees were already under way to the neighboring countries. Then a lightning strike on an antenna tower in the vicinity terminated the TV program prematurely. Alison received nothing but interference anymore. And given the heavy rain, she did not want to go over to the RV or the bus, where they had an on-board radio. She sighed, feeling the urge to walk around a bit to ease tension, but was hindered by her aching foot. Well. She took a deep breath. Max had promised to take care of the problem and to check with the producers about rescheduling or relocating. She had to trust him. Max was a reliable old friend and partner. However, it was hard to let go off her responsibility, even for a moment!

  Alison leaned back against the pillows. Her eyes fell on her still dirty dress. Heavens, what a silly situation had that been! Why did she have to fall into the mud right in front of Vance van Sorel?! Nonetheless, Alison smiled. At least, they had been in the outback of South Africa – thank God – and not in L.A. where half a dozen paparazzi immediately would’ve taken a picture!

  And he has proven himself perfect gentleman; even lifted me up into the saddle… Noticing the way her thoughts had wandered, she shook her head. No, she wouldn’t start romanticizing, would she?! This was simply too ridiculous. Of course she would not! Romanticizing was something the people should do while watching her movies, and in order to achieve that a cool and collected mind was first priority! But she had to admit that, contrary to her first opinion, Vance seemed to be not only a formidable actor, but a decent man and a reliable friend, too. Someone, with whom she could get along well …

  The next working day came all too soon after the crew had only been able to find sleep long past midnight. The first thing Alison wanted to do was to inspect the equipment stored outside to see if it had suffered any damage. Some other team members had gathered around the camera crane and the struts for the spotlight installation. So far, everything looked fine, except some mud splatter on several of the items. Those could easily be removed, and one of the grips had already started with the task.

  “Morning, Alison! How is your foot?” asked Max, just leaving his bungalow.

  “Better, thank you.”


  “I can still drive you to town…”

  “No, it’s not necessary. It would cost us another working day! Did you get any news concerning Zimbabwe?”

  “The Department of Foreign Affairs assured me, the situation would be completely under control.” Max replied with a frown. “However, that’s what they always say. I don’t trust information controlled by politics one tiny bit.”

  He huffed and waited until some other team members had passed by. Spreading panic right now was really not on his agenda!

  “What are the producers saying? Were you able to reach CEO Yerikov?” Alison asked.

  “They’re afraid to lose a few cents if we reschedule or relocate. ‘A little rebellion here, a little rebellion there – it is Africa, what do you expect’, those were his words. Guess we have to proceed as planned.”

  She breathed deeply, like Max not at all reassured everything would run smoothly. She had lived in Africa long enough; she knew that a crisis could erupt with the slightest provocation, when the social situation was bad enough. And that it was in the neighbor country! Thousands of refugees had already swept over the borders in the past years.

  Vance joined them. “Everything okay, Alison?” he wanted to know, putting a hand on her arm.

  “Yes!” She turned around, and a faint smile lit up her annoyed features. Somehow, his presence pushed aside even the dark clouds of worry.

  “You all act as if I had a major accident! If you’re hoping for a day off because of me, forget it!”

  “That would never cross our minds!” Vance lifted his eyes to the sky, what made him look like a saint’s statue and Alison smile more. He has the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen, it flashed through her mind.

  Lauren realized what was happening, before anyone else, including Vance and Alison, took a faint notice of it. He placed his hand on her arm! O no, he did not simply place it there with a friendly pat! This was a caress; she could clearly see the slight brushing of his fingers! Short – but well, she was not an idiot! The image burned in her eyes. A storm of jealousy rushed through her. What could a man like Vance find in this… this… old hag; she wondered. The idea this ‘old hag’ could touch his beautiful body made Lauren angry. How the hell dare that woman? Disgusting!