Hearts' Desires

by Anke Napp

  He is mine! MINE!

  …” Lauren? Hey, good morning!”

  Thabo’s voice startled her. She whirled around, ready to hiss something at him, but restrained herself in the last second. She wasn’t in the Bronx anymore. She was a pro on a movie set! She forced a tortured smile instead.

  “Don’t you feel well? I couldn’t sleep, either. I hate thunderstorms. The house of my grandpa burned down once, after being hit by a lightning.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “We lost everything, then.” He sighed. “Was very bad.”

  Lauren felt sorry for him indeed. A little bit at least. Thabo wasn’t such a dumbass, after all. He was nice and – well, he adored her and her experience in the ‘business’, obviously. She could let all sorts of wisdom rain down on this ignorant kid. She loved to bathe in his admiration.

  “Ready to go everyone?” sounded Alison’s question over the yard. In her mind, Lauren answered with some nasty, unfriendly words, before she climbed into the bus.

  Jake Bertoni arrived last, his demeanor clearly showing the results of his little ‘sleeping drink’. “Aw, man… these aspirin are not what they used to be, right Vance?” He sank into the seat next to his friend.

  “You ignored one of the three golden rules during the time on a set,” Vance said with a smile, trying to lighten Jake up.

  “No booze, no drugs, no sex…. I know, I know…” The bus started to roll, and Jake made a face. “My ex-wife wants my vacation home. As indemnity! For what, I ask you?! … No, on close examination, I don’t want to know…” He searched in his pocket and swallowed another aspirin. “She will only give in when I’m a beggar out on the street! Aw… women are men’s ruin!”

  Vance wished he could have done anything to help him, but this trouble was really outside his influence.

  At the hunting-scene-location, everything looked promising enough for a good start. The ground was relatively dry again and therefore posed no risk for the sequences on horseback. The guys from the game reserve were ready, and the stuntmen, too. One of them was in a particularly celebratory mood – he had just become the father of twins. Despite his original reservations, Vance soon came to good terms with his stunt double Matty. While the animal trainers got the horses ready, the two men stood together chatting like old friends. The stunt double had been outfitted and prepared with clothes matching Vance’s, only with a special harness beneath – and, to his regret, with a matching haircut as well, as he just pointed out again with a grin.

  “I’m going to demand a pay raise! They made me sacrifice my perfect biker’s hair cut because of you, pal…”

  Vance laughed. “I’m sorry! But count your blessings; all you have to do is let it grow out. I had to sacrifice my ‘biker’s hair cut’… uh… approximately 20 years ago! Not to mention my bike, because my wife considered it too dangerous.”

  Matty scratched over his head. “Well, at least it takes less time! – Could you spare a cigarette? It looks as if it’ll take a while yet to get ready.” He gestured to the group with the horses. The animals were nervous this morning, perhaps as a result of the thunderstorm last night.

  “Sure.” Vance offered his Luckies pack and then took one himself. However, Chang called from the makeup trailer, before he could light it. “Well, seems it’s my turn. See you later!”

  Making a last inspection of the set dressing, Alison found Piet and Wayland discussing with some of the crew about the recent events in Zimbabwe, which she had hoped to keep away from them for yet some more time.

  “I’m just glad I don’t have any folks up there,” she heard Piet say. “If you ask me, I would avoid the region.”

  “You think we’ll run into trouble?” Sound assistant Terence asked.

  “Hard to say.”

  Alison could easily notice how the worries infected her team - something she could not afford, even when she shared the concerns! She was in charge and the mother hen had to keep a cool head always, didn’t she?

  “We know the situation is critical. But there’s so far no reason to worry,” Alison said, stepping between them. “We will check with the Department of Foreign Affairs regularly. There is no need to overreact at the moment. Everything is under control.”

  Vance, who observed and heard everything from the steps of the makeup trailer, felt reminded of a queen admonishing her people. A rebellion in the neighbor country was a bad thing for sure, but right now, the sight of Alison dealing with the situation outshone these worries by far. She looked frail and yet so strong, controlled, reliable… and beautiful.

  --”Vance? Can we start?” Meredith looked out of the door, and he forced himself to turn his eyes away from Alison.

  To block anything that could stir the rumor pot any further, Alison had decided to give an official statement concerning the situation in Zimbabwe and their respective dealing with it. Only then work started, overshadowed of course by the unpleasant news. Alison felt particularly annoyed about every problem, because contrary to her usual habit, she could not throw herself into the work and check back and forth. Hobbling around with a bandaged foot would only delay things further and not help in any way.

  Meanwhile, Vance had been prepared by the makeup artist. Although nearly everyone on the set had a lot experience in the business, it was always an odd sight to see someone made up to look dead or wounded walk around and chat happily. His character was going to be injured by a stray bullet through his shoulder and additionally by a nasty fall from his horse. So Vance’s costume was torn and ‘adorned’ with much artificial blood and dirt, when he had left Chang’s.

  He went to Alison who sat at the table, headgear on, watching everything on her monitor. One of the crew members had brought her tea and a box with cookies, now sitting open in front of her. Vance grabbed one of the little pastries. He had to be very cautious in order not to harm the application in his face – but he was hungry. And no one knew how long it would take until he was ‘free’ again.

  Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start the day with a real breakfast… just like Jake said …

  Alison looked up to him disapprovingly.

  “I’ll take care,” he answered. “Matty is already in position?”

  “Yes.” She handed him the binoculars, and now stood up again. Sitting while her main crew hustled around was something that really went against her honor. Moreover, she had the feeling she could not supervise as well sitting at this table. It made her itchy.

  Green light from everyone! The clapper gave the signal.

  Vance observed the performance of his stunt double. Matty rode on, crossed the path of two antelopes as planned. There he passed the first marker. One…two… Vance counted. The second marker. Then the first shot. The stuntman tilted backwards and fell with a slight twist – down on the safety mattress.

  Not bad. But I could’ve done this myself…

  Although it had looked good to the observer – the timing of the scene was not quite right, and the horse of the second stuntman veered nervously away from the prepared line. So everything had to be repeated…

  Vance reached out for another cookie and landed in the box simultaneously with Alison’s hand. Under their fingers lay the last cookie. With some effort, he suppressed the laugh, which would probably have been disastrous for his makeup.

  “Sorry. You take it.”

  “No, you. You’re the one who just complained about possible starvation during filming.”

  He simply had to smile; there was no way out of it. Somehow Alison had this… strange effect of relief on him. Even if she meant anything but that! He looked away and inhaled deeply to regain control and not to cause Chang any additional work.

  “Uh… well… I experienced that on this one set, where we filmed in Canada, in the snow. Honestly, I was pinned there on the ground for 4 hours, which seemed like 10 to me. I did not need a lot of acting skills in the end to play a half-dead guy!”

  “Well, we won’t let this happen here, right?” A
lison felt somewhat in funny mood herself. “Open your mouth – and down with this cookie!”

  “Alison?”

  Jake’s loud voice let her snap back to her usual self. Immediately grumpy, as if caught doing something forbidden, she stared at her camera assistant. “Please don’t tell me someone screwed it up, Jake!”

  “No. Only wanted to ask you if we should take the T-4-filters for the shot with Vance,” he shouted back across the place. “It’s still too much light, in my opinion.”

  “Yes. T-4! – Vance, are you ready?”

  “’Course.” He swallowed the last crumbs of the cookie. Then he walked to the prepared spot, where the decorators already had arranged some stones.

  Alison followed him, to make sure her actor was positioned the way he had to be for this scene, while Nora took over the supervising job at the other scene. They had made first preparations yesterday, with a crewmember taking the place of Vance, and now some tiny yellow crosses on the ground indicated where he should put his head, arms and legs. Alison watched everything with eagle eyes.

  “Burt, take this grass and wood a bit down! There, yes! He should have fallen 5 meters down from there, so this should look more cracked. – Vance, your right arm a bit down, and your head back. Yes, that’s better.”

  She stepped out of the scenery, and Chang arrived to give Vance’s makeup the finishing touch.

  “We’ll take one test shot first. Remember, Vance, don’t move, until Lauren shows up and checks your pulse. You’re unconscious, after all.”

  “I know.” If I have to stay in this position much longer I’ll break my neck for real… “I’ll count to ten, after she first touches me, is that okay?”

  “We will see,” replied Alison.

  “Good.” He leaned back again and closed his eyes, waiting for the signal. One of the little rocks pierced in his back, and he really hoped the crew could manage this scene within a decent time! He knew the exact course of events which would take place, and matched the sounds he heard to the specific actions. There were the steps of Lauren. And the sound of Jake’s camera, when he turned it on the movable base… The rock in his back began to cause slight pain.

  Camilla rushed through the last shrubs which blocked her view, followed by the first camera on a track.

  ”Dad! O my God!” she cried, passing the marker on the ground.

  “O my God…. What happened?” She fell to her knees and stretched her hands after the motionless figure in front of her. “Dad? …. Can you hear me?!”

  Good so far… Alison thought, watching the scene from a nearby seat on the camera crane, which they did not use this time. A bit more panic in her voice perhaps…

  Now Lauren placed her fingers at his neck to check the pulse… Why I always have the feeling, everything this girl does is a seduction?!

  Vance made a very small move. Yes, not bad… he does wake up slowly …

  Vance leaned back in the chair, while one of Chang’s helpers removed the special makeup. He was tired, and his back, where the little rock had pierced, felt as if someone had stabbed him. Altogether, they had needed two and a half hours to complete the scene. It was now 9 PM. But outside the makeup-‘studio’ something was going on, that revived Vance’s exhausted spirits. The distinctive scent of a braai! This was one of the few things he was really crazy for. And in his opinion, the Americans would never be able to do a decent barbecue the way the people in South Africa could do it, no matter how hard they tried! The American name alone, "barbecue" sounded hard and not remotely as pleasant as the term in his native Afrikaans. Saying 'braai' already evoked delicious smell and taste of tender meat; it was a simple clear word with an embedded truth - yes, Vance could philosophize about it!

  In years past, shortly after he had moved from Canada to L.A., he had bought springbok-meat and the necessary spice mix in a special store in L.A., and then had a little braai in the garden of his home. Later, Carolyn had complained about the smoke ‘tarnishing the walls of the house and the expensive white furniture’ and – about everything else. She was into Nouvelle Cuisine, something Vance at first found funny, and later annoying. Of course, she didn’t cook herself…

  He tried to push the unpleasant memories aside, when he left the make-up trailer, and the scent grew more alluring, irresistible. The stuntmen and many of the film crew already had gathered around the area that promised such delights. There were lamb chops, slices of beef and large boerewors in different flavors waiting for them.

  “Carel is celebrating his newborn twins!” someone announced and raised a bottle of beer for a toast.

  The happy stuntman and party host grinned. “If I cannot be at home with my folks, I’m going to celebrate here! C’mon everyone!”

  “That’s exactly what I need now!” whispered Vance in Thabo’s direction. “I’m surprised Alison allowed this!”

  “Well, there was not much she could do about it!” This was Jake’s voice. “The guys had already got everything together, while we were busy with the last sequence! And we have to eat anyway.”

  He sat on an overturned box and sniffed with half-closed eyes. “Delicious, right?”

  “No argument here!”

  Vance grabbed one of the beer bottles the other stuntman just distributed. It was wonderfully cold. This was turning into a perfect evening after a long working day… They all sat in the circle around, like a huge family, chatting, laughing. Meredith brought her guitar along and promised some country songs. Yes, a perfect evening to let every sorrow vanish outside the circle of fire and light…

  Vance stretched his legs, sighed and looked up in the sky, where the glow of the brightest stars was stronger than the light of the fire and artificial lights from the little camp. His gaze wandered back again, and over the figures of his colleagues. Now and then, some especially bright sparks were carried upwards in the heat of the flames, danced like tiny little elves in front of the people’s faces and over their heads, before they died in the nightly cold and were swept away by the wind.

  The crew, stuntmen and actors exchanged some funny and weird stories of past productions, including the one, where the microphone fell in the secretly prepared birthday cake for the director just at the moment of its presentation – Jake’s favorite personal anecdote.

  Lauren flirted with the stuntman Wayland, who just told her about the risks of hang gliding.

  “Oh I’d love to do that anyway,” Lauren answered and leaned against his arm.

  Disgusting, Jake thought, but nonetheless he was forced to admire her long eyelashes. And the moment he managed to turn his gaze from her face, it fell on her long legs… Pure poison. Thankfully, Vance seemed to be immune! Jake envied his friend. He managed to think straight in a pool of beautiful Piranhas!

  Suddenly, Vance detected, that something was missing in the picture of perfection around him.

  “Where is Alison?” he asked.

  “You know her and her vegan eating habits. A barbecue must be something for her like a Black Mass for a Catholic priest,” Jake answered. “She has probably retreated into the bus to eat one of her snacks.”

  Vance nodded, turned his attention back to Meredith’s country song, but a couple of minutes later he got up. It didn’t feel quite right to sit here and enjoy this wonderful night, knowing there was someone alone outside the ‘family’.

  “I’ll go and check, if Alison is alright.” Sensing what he felt might be questioning looks by Max and Jake, he continued: “Maybe she has trouble with her foot.”

  Lauren’s mood dropped rapidly, hearing this and seeing him walk off the same instant. Oh, there was something serious going on! She knew it! Focused on her growing annoyance, she only realized that Thabo was offering her another paper plate with freshly grilled meat, when he poked her.

  “Do you enjoy making me jump like that?” She hissed and grabbed the plate without thanks. The obnoxious boy answered something she didn’t pay any attention to. Vance was gone to look after Alison! Couldn’t she loo
k after herself? Did she look that helpless? She would bet that the old frump had fallen into the mud right in front of him on purpose! How else could something that stupid and ridiculous happen?! Lauren stared into the direction where Vance had just vanished in the nightly shadows and then bit into her steak almost angrily.

  Vance found Alison sitting in the bus and listening to the news. Even from the outside, he had noticed her worried look, and now entering he discovered why. The news reporter just mentioned the “highly instable situation in Zimbabwe”.

  ”Alison? Hello...”

  ”O sorry. Didn’t hear you coming. Anything up?” She tried to sound normal.

  “A lot can happen in the next few days,” he answered, and thus preventing her from any attempt to avoid the subject. “These guys in Zimbabwe will think twice before risking a confrontation with the S0uth African army.”

  Alison sighed. “We could get trapped between the two sides, or by fleeing refugees, though! And Max and I are responsible for all of you and our equipment!” Right away she regretted having said this and opened her bag of worries in front of him. This hadn’t been necessary, had it?!

  Vance stopped himself at the last second from putting his arm around her. He realized that he searched an excuse to touch her.

  “Of course you’re worried. But tonight,” he said, “you should relax. You need it just as much as any of us. And I assure you, these stunt guys have prepared a marvelous braai!”

  “Vance, this time your charm is completely lost! I’m sure they are all happy without their ‘directing dragon’ for once!”

  “Well, I missed you and came looking for you.” He held his hand out to help her up.

  “You know, I’m Vegan,” she fended him off. “All this meat is not healthy for a human body...”