Helios

by Anja Fuerst

  - Ah! I do not know Abgail. Mr. Carter is very reserved and I do not know much about his life with Mrs. Carter - I lied shamelessly averting my eyes to my hands.

  - You're right. It is too early for Mr. Carter proves to you. As I have more time working for him, those things turned out to be normal and part of my activities.

  - And he has so many lovers as well? - Feigned disinterest. A little devil screamed in my ear to go deeper in that story.

  - Some - she grinned.

  I felt a sharp twinge in his chest. For a second I saw in the eyes of my friend she knew my affair with Robert, but disregarded. Why did she hurt me like that? No. Abby did not know anything.

  - Any news? - I knew exactly what she expected of me.

  - No, Abby. I found nothing that could help you. But I keep trying. Swear!

  - I'm sure he - held in my hand. - I know you get Mel. Do not give up, please! It is very important to me - took a deep breath. I do not give up. Never. Abby was a valuable friend and I could not disappoint her.

  - Will not give up.

  We continue talking. I struggled to show interest in what she was saying. Abgail asked more attention on Adam. I not wanted to tell that he was all the time behind me. It was clear that my friend liked it, even after all. I did not want to hurt her heart, as she unknowingly had with mine.

  I know that engagement with Robert had diverted me from my real goal and with that, Abby was unanswered. It was important to go back to focus and look harder for the information she so desperately needed. Deep down, I knew that the only way to find them was continuing beside him. However my boss, even though my lover, was a closed safe. I did not understand how to earn their trust.

  I returned home, devastated. It was for that reason he disappeared every Sunday? A lover who accepted a single weekly visit? No. Robert would not do that to me. He had said he did not want any other woman besides me. I had to hold on to this detail in order to survive until the next day.

  On Monday practically ran for the company. I needed to find it. You need to make sure that everything went well between us, but mostly, I needed to make sure I was really the only one in your life

  I arrived very early and was waiting for him. Robert arrived with Paul. We greeted each other formally, even with Paul already knew about us. After a while he called me into his office. It seemed embarrassed. I not meet my eyes. Paul was still there and the atmosphere was tense. I could not ask anything and he also gave no sign that he had something to say.

  I spent the agenda again himself having already passed through message. We solved some things, nothing more, just what was already programmed. After I returned to my desk, where a shower of phone calls, e-mail and fax, could take up all my time.

  Paul came out, but still could not find time to be alone with Robert. At lunchtime, Nicole called to tell me that would not have lunch with me, so I would just to Alexa. She seemed excited about something, as I was not excited about anything or asked what it was. Probably she would have lunch with Paul.

  Robert left the room at the time I was talking to Nicole. He took the folder, which meant we did not have lunch together. To my surprise, he stopped at my table and waited until I hung up.

  - Honey, I need to leave. I do not know if I return - seemed tired and bored.

  - Some problem? - He ran his hands through his hair and pulled the air. Typical attitude when he was out of patience.

  - No - she replied quickly, but I noticed it was a lie. It hurt even more. - I just have some things to settle.

  - I'll see you today? - I cursed myself for sounding a child begging attention. Robert's eyes dismantled me, but his mouth became a thin line. He did not appear.

  - Sorry, honey! I can not afford today. I'm exhausted, I need rest - I agreed averting my gaze and staring at my shoes.

  He was exhausted. The previous day had been Sunday and he had gone to his mysterious appointment and come back tired. Shit!

  - Honey, please understand. I really need to rest. My head is hell.

  - All right - I sighed.

  I wanted him to leave at once. Robert walked over and gently kissed my lips. I did not have the strength to scold him. Oddly I had lost all my ability to confront him. I was so weak and vulnerable that he wanted to cry and beg.

  - Stop thinking nonsense - started to walk away. I forced a smile and he left.

  Holy shit! Where was my dignity? Certainly prevented from appearing because of my tears.

  I had lunch with Alexa, who spent time chatting with me, discreetly, about the shit I was doing with my life having a relationship with Robert. She stressed that soon he would end the tantrum with Tanya and I would be nothing but an adventure. Also he stressed how much he was childish, selfish and unbalanced. She had a problem with it. His reaction was not normal.

  I went back to my room more insecure and depressed than had left. Nobody had a word of comfort for me? No word of hope about my relationship with him? Neither Robert himself had done it.

  In the late afternoon the greatest of all surprises. Tanya. She entered the room with his superior air. I was perfectly neat, as always, but there was something that made her really divine. He seemed happy. His skin was beautiful and radiant smile that showed was just perfect. Shit! That was it.

  Shit! Shit! Shit!

  - Melissa - greeted me smiling. - Robert asked me to get a contract with you. Let me see where I wrote down the name of the company ... - pulled into the bag a little red book looking for such a note. - Here - turned schedule letting me see the name. - He called you telling you that I would come? - Still shocked by his presence had to look for my voice.

  - No - I managed to say without stuttering.

  - Always Robert! - He laughed shaking her beautiful hair to your head spin reproaching her husband's attitude. - Must have slept. I was so tired! - She smiled confidant. For some reason I felt that there was something between the lines. Tanya wanted to tell me something.

  - I'll look for the contract, Mrs. Carter - turned my back and breathed several times to avoid despair. While she was looking for began to speak.

  - Adam really like you - I rolled my eyes. Great news. - He told me you had a little unwell in Dubai - froze. What else did she know?

  - Only I had trouble adapt to the heat - I said quickly picking up the folder she had gone to fetch. - Here it is.

  - I would have gone, but Robert asked me to stay. I thought it was good. Sometimes a couple needs space, right? - Nothing could not answer. - Robert returned more willing - confided smiling.

  She looked so angelic. Tanya had dimples when she smiled. It was so lovely. Easily one man would love, including Robert. What would she have done to deserve to be punished?

  "I loved Tanya too, Mel" the words echoed in my mind. Shit! She did something very bad. Something very wrong to throw him that life hell. But what? She deserved even go through all that? It deserved to be cheated shamelessly, as he was doing? Oh shit!

  - If we are to be minted I think I can confide one thing - smiled with bright eyes. - Me and Robert are living the best time of our lives. We are having a second honeymoon - laughed delightedly and my whole body froze. I fixed my eyes on her not to do anything stupid, like cry or faint. - He has been absent in recent days, I think we still spend a few moments. Robert is in a hurry to return home - blinked. Oh shit! Shit! - So ... take care of everything here - her smile was disturbing. - Now I need to go. I still have some appointments before returning to my lovely hubby. Thank you, Melissa! I'll tell Adam that I am all for you two.

  Tanya left and I kept where I was petrified. I do not know how long. When I found myself the tears already down and panted breathlessly. I ran to the bathroom to wash his face. I was pale. She had discovered it and had gone teasing me or was just proclaiming their happiness to be back to Robert's arms? That was why he had been so far? It was because of what they did not see me?

  "I loved Tanya too, Mel" his words echoed in my mind. Bathroom left decided to leave. Robert would not r
eturn to the company. I would be in your second honeymoon with his lovely wife. The day was almost over and did not need to justify myself to anyone. I grabbed my bag and stepped into the elevator begging him not to stop. But he stopped and who came was Nicole.

  - Honey! - Was excited to meet me. I did not want to, but I had to pretend nothing is happening. Nicole did not know and more than ever could not know. - I was going to his room. Are you leaving? - I looked at the bag in my hand.

  - Yes. I'm not feeling very well. A little headache and how ... - sought strength to be natural. - Mr. Carter is not coming back, I thought there would be no problem.

  - No, sure! Robert went home - said excitedly. - That's what I was going to talk to you. I'll walk you to your car.

  God! I did not want to talk. Even more about Robert. It was too much torture.

  - You will not believe, but when you have traveled, Tanya came to me. I know. I was also surprised, after all we were not friends anymore as before, but the fact is that after so long, she seems to have woken up and decided to resume our friendship - Nicole was very happy with the news.

  - Good for you, Nick - I forced my voice that did not sound whiny.

  - But that's not all - continued. - Tanya came to me for me to help her reconciliation with Robert. She was waiting for you around Dubai. We prepared everything and today she came to me to say he was very happy. It seems that everything worked. Olivia told me that Robert and Tanya were in tune again. She spent the entire Saturday with them and thought they were great. I'm so glad Mel ...

  - Nicole - interrupted. - I really need to go. My head is bursting. Excuse me!

  - Of course, honey! Oh my God! Here I am speaking as a teenager and you being polite to me. Excuse me! I know you have to take care of. By the way, please seek medical attention. You must be willing to follow the madness that is to work for a CEO.

  - I know. Do not worry. Now I really need to go.

  She understood and finally set me free. Definitely I did not know how I managed to drive to my house. My whole body shook with sobs that escaped my throat. I was crying. Not only for lost love, but anger for allowing me to love someone so petty and false.

  And that ring crap was still on my finger. The ring he used to convince me to continue in this absurd story. And even justified with the idea of marriage. As I was foolish. I took it and threw it in my glove compartment. I would return it. It would not be rewarded for easy sex. Not even.

  I got home and threw me in the damn bed. I hated him and he hated everything related to it. I wish I could tear my heart to keep the pain to dominate me, unfortunately it was not possible. As I was stupid! I cried all possible tears and fell asleep determined to not return to C & H. Robert would take my life in every way and once and for all. He probably already thought of a way to do it, so it was so uncomfortable and distant. I make things easier.

  Sleep was slow to come and gone too fast. I slept little and cried a lot. Before the usual time, he was already sitting up in bed, staring at the wall without courage to stand up. I felt bad, defeated, humiliated and incredibly hurt. The minutes passed slowly.

  The time when I should leave came and forced me to continue sitting on the bed. An hour later my phone started ringing. I did not answer, nor bothered to check who it was. I did not care. Half an hour later I heard the door being unlocked.

  Robert was there.

  CHAPTER 37

  I waited for Mel. She was late, as it usually did, and I needed urgently contracts and documents that she should have left on my desk for me to analyze before the meeting. Holy shit! Melissa could sometimes set off with my patience.

  I broke the protocol and called his cell phone. Not only by the need to know if it would take, but mainly to make sure I was all right between us. Mel did not answer. "Does she had another fainting? Why not answer, gave no news? "

  I could not bear to stay in business pretending to be annoyed by their delay. I was worried about what could have happened. Melissa was really my perdition. Damn it! In my madness I decided to go to her house. Should not. That could put everything to lose, but would not stay in my room as Mel could be in need of help. Needing me. I took the car and went there.

  Quit your door tried to listen and find out if something was going on. Total silence. Thank God I had committed the folly of having a key, so could come and without break the door. I was afraid, but would have to act.

  I opened the door and the silence continued. The house seemed empty. Could see the room and the kitchen, she was nowhere. I walked into the room. Estanquei at the entrance. Mel was sitting on the bed. The huge eyes staring at the door. I was frightened, hugging his legs and seemed in a trance. I did not know what to do. His deep eyes were red, making it clear that he had not slept and had been crying a lot.

  - Honey? What happened? - My voice was weak with fear of what could have happened. Somehow my heart sensed. Mel would abandon me. Something had gone wrong. But how? I took a few steps toward her and she finally responded.

  - Do not come near me - said through his teeth. It looked like a cornered and ready to attack animal. I was hate me. I closed my eyes containing my own anger.

  They had been difficult days. I and Tanya got the most unusual point of our game which forced me to stay away from Mel for a while. I was tired, sad, angry and impatient. All that did not want that moment was entering a battle with Melissa too. Not with her. I opened my eyes to face her.

  - What happened? You did not show up. I was worried - I pretended not to be bothered by his reaction. It was the best thing to do right now.

  - What happened? - She looked ready to explode. - What happened coward, filthy, selfish, stupid ... - Mel stopped staring at me furiously. I was shocked, but needed to find out what kind of misunderstanding were involved, then I remained cold. - It's over, Robert. He finished his scam. Stop the joke. It's all over - she screamed. - Get out of my house. Get out of my life - took a deep breath. What would have happened to Melissa had that reaction?

  - Melissa ... - shouted back causing her to stop all that scandal. - I'm exhausted - was at my limit too. - I had several problems in recent days so stop with this scandal and talk to me as an adult.

  His eyes hardened even more. Fuck! Melissa would not let tempers calm down. I did not need that shit. Not even! Tanya had exhausted all my patience that morning and had not left over almost nothing to use with my lover.

  - Who are you to speak of maturity. The spoiled little boy who always had everything you think you can play with people and their feelings while having fun. You were right, Robert, you are a monster - did not give more. Hear it all gave me beyond my limits.

  - Enough! - I screamed even louder. - I have no time or patience for your insecurities, Melissa. I did everything I could. I broke all the rules. I gave him more than purposed, more than ever given to any woman. I asked her to marry, I faced hell to continue at his side, put everything at risk and for what? For you to collect and get hysterical every time something happens? So you use the same tricks of Tanya, accusing me, judging me? I do not need this. I already have too many problems to solve in this damn life and do not need another understand? I was wrong about you to

  My rage was so great that he could bring down the walls of that room if possible. I knew that part was not assigned to my secretary, was actually a reaction to all that had happened to me in recent days. Melissa managed to shed the last drop so unfortunately was with her that I would explode. So I decided that the best thing to do was to get away before he did something worse. She did not deserve to hear from me those words.

  - I need the documents for the meeting, you did not leave them on my desk.

  - Go to hell with your documents and your entire company - spat the words. I could feel the anger pushing some words out and fought to contain me. - No more work for you, Mr. Carter - it was like a stab.

  I had destroyed everything in Melissa. I was angry, but most of all hurt, humiliated and hurt. I did not want to see it that way. Until the work sh
e was giving up. I knew how much that job was important to his life.

  Holy shit! Had me punch will.

  - Are you resigning?

  - Want a formal letter? You want me to explain in detail that I'm out of business because my boss is a lecherous pig, a scoundrel, a liar, a selfish fucked? - He cried again leaving tears complete their despair. I could not stay. Not that way.

  - Do as you wish.

  I turned to her and left his apartment.

  I could not go back. I could not even force her ability. Honey was destroyed, torn apart and I could not force her to go further. I had to get away, to keep her away from all that dirt. I could only do it for her. It was my way of saying thanks for all the love and dedication that she gave me. I, a selfish bastard who did not think twice when I decided to have it. Even knowing how much could hurt her.

  Damn it, Mel! Because you were so weak? Because let me could get this far? Why not repulsed me? Damn it! I could live with all my hell, but could never survive their suffering. Not you.

  I got into the car and ran as hard as I could. I needed to breathe again. My heart sank. Who was I kidding? I loved her. How could you be so stupid? I loved so much Melissa Simon that it hurt to think he could ever be enough for her.

  I loved the right way, the way it deserved to be loved. But it was to be so miserable that I was not allowed to have this happiness. All the time believed that Tanya and all the problems it caused me, was the way that God had found to punish me, but I was foolish to think that such a burden would be heavier.

  My sin was much bigger and what I felt at that moment would be the correct punishment for me. Living without Mel would be my real punishment. I would not have the right to have her by my side. I could not live that love. Bitterness in my mouth was immense. For some time I believed he had finally managed to solve my life, but quickly saw it all fall apart.