Family Ties (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  “You are mine and it’s time I show you why.”

  He started to inch up my skirt. My body started shaking and a quiet whimper escaped my lips. Kyle had my skirt around my waist and my underwear down around my ankles. His hand was running circles on my bare ass. His hand would squeeze every once in a while, followed by a groan. Then his hand wasn’t there anymore. I was afraid to open my eyes. I didn’t want to know what was happening.

  A sharp pain shot from my ass and I felt warmth run down my legs. He did something I could never forget or hide if someone looked close enough.

  There was no way I would tell anyone either because I wouldn’t want anyone, Kayla especially, to feel sorry or responsible for it. The way they reacted to Kayla’s news she held in for so long wasn’t what I wanted for myself. It ripped at my parents and siblings; it ripped at me. I didn’t want to put that on anyone. No, definitely not, I would figure this out on my own. Maybe if I enjoy the ranching thing I will just go ahead and buy one and leave singing behind.

  I ran twenty minutes one direction and twenty minutes back. When I got in front of the house I used the steps to do some lunges, pushups and stretches. Then I went inside, got myself a drink and headed to my room to get back in my working clothes. I laughed at the thought of saying ‘working’ clothes. Regardless of the chores I was given, I was really having fun. Checking my watch, I saw I still had ten minutes before I needed to be back out there to work. So I sat down on my bed and picked up my pencil and notebook.

  Chapter Twelve

  Tobey

  I watched her do her little exercises on the steps and it drove me nuts. Her barely there shorts seemed to be taunting me with the flesh it exposed. It took everything in me not to run across the yard and take her in the house that minute. Then the guys had to start with their comments; I knew they were only joking, but it still royally pissed me off.

  “Damn! What I wouldn’t do with that ass,” Joel joked.

  “You’d have to wait in line man,” John teased.

  “No way man! I said it first,” Joel said as he playfully pushed John.

  “I think you guys might want to chill it out. I don’t think that Tobey here finds your banter so funny.” Scott warned. “Although, it’s not like you care about her or anything…right brother?”

  “Excuse me?” I spun to face Scott with evil in my eyes.

  “It’s not like you care about her or anything, right brother?” Scott says slowly and it pisses me off.

  “You need to watch it Scott. You are walking on thin ice with me today. If you don’t want me to beat the shit out of you again, I suggest you back off me.”

  “Really, you want a fight buddy. Bring it on. You aren’t the same man that I grew up with and have worked alongside for years. You’re a stranger.”

  “I’m the stranger? Where the fuck do you come off with that holier than thou attitude?”

  Scott gets up in my face and bumps my chest with his. I do the same thing. Joel steps up and moves between us. Placing a hand on both our chests and pushing us apart.

  “What the hell is wrong with you two?” John asks.

  “Ask Captain Asshole here,” Scott hissed. “Remember what I told you before you left? I can’t believe you brought your biggest mistake ever here and attached it to the ranch. This isn’t only your fucking livelihood!”

  “What is he talking about?” Joel asked confused.

  I huffed out a deep breath and I glared at Scott for a few minutes longer. All I could do was clench my fists at my side to keep from laying into him.

  Turning back around, I watched her go inside. Letting out a breath, I needed to get away from Scott. He was really pissing me off today. To get away from them, I decided to go in and check how her run was.

  When I got to her door, I stopped dead in my tracks. She was singing again. I loved hearing her voice. However, as much as she sang beautifully, I was unsure on the song. Was she writing it from personal experience? Intently listening, I stood by the door, listened and waited. I was completely entranced by her voice, again.

  “You feel it in your bones. It’s as bright as the sunrise color tones. Never off your mind for very long. Always singing the happy songs. But soon it’s lost because you were a fool. To believe someone could love you with no rule. Yes it hurts to be in love that knows no bounds. To be in love and never hear the sounds. Yes it hurts far more than it should. No way he could love you, no, no way he could. Lost…Lost…Lost in losing you.”

  My mouth hung open and I stood there dumbfounded. No this song had to be personal. She had to be writing this from experience. The feelings behind the words were far too strong to be just off the top of her head, but who could she be in love with. Why couldn’t he love her? If she loved him, why was she losing him? Her voice broke through my thoughts.

  “No one could love you Mary Williams. Get the notion out of your head. He is just being nice. You are too fat and too ugly. Kyle’s right, I am no good.”

  Before I knew what I was doing, I was opening her door, walking in and slamming it behind me. You wouldn’t be wrong to say I was furious, because I was. How could she say something like that about herself? How could she believe that scumbag?

  “Oh my God! You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing in here?”

  “How could you say something about yourself like that? You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are everything. How could you think ill of yourself?”

  “I…uh…” She was stunned and completely shocked by my presence.

  It was then that I realized she stood before me naked. I was trying hard not to stare, but I failed. Oh yes, I stared at her. My eyes raked up and down her perfect body. She had perfect curves, toned muscles, legs that seemed to go on for miles. Raising my eyes higher, they landed on her perfect breasts. They were not small like one would expect from someone as active as her, but would fit perfectly in the palms of my hands. She had a neck that called to be kissed and lips that asked the same thing. I finally met her eyes. All the time I have spent with her this past week and then watching her in that…that outfit… I was too aroused to stop myself from doing something stupid.

  Moving across the room, I raised my hands to her cheeks, cupping them. I looked in her eyes for a moment; giving her a chance to stop me. In my head, I’m urging her to stop me because I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop or control myself. She didn’t though and she didn’t shy away either. Dropping my eyes to her lips before looking back in her eyes, her tongue darted out ever so slightly wetting her delicious lips. That was it; I had to taste her. I leaned down and took her lips with mine. It was not a tender kiss like the others we have shared. No, this was full of need and desperation.

  A moan escaped from both of us. It spurred me to deepen the kiss. There was no getting her close enough. My hands moved down from her face and wrapped around her waist, pulling her tight against me. Feeling every one of her curves against me only served to drive my need up more.

  Mary moved her hands down my chest and yanked my shirt from my pants pulling a groan from deep within my throat. I helped her rid me of my clothes, then walked her back to the bed; laying her back on it gently. Moving I trailed kisses along her jaw and up to her ear. I nibbled on her ear and she moaned. God, I wanted her.

  “I don’t think I can wait any longer sweetheart.”

  “Don’t. I want you too.”

  I took her mouth again in another soul searing kiss. My hand skimmed up her body and moved to her breast. I ran my thumb over her nipple while massaging her breast in my hand. Rising above her, I spread her legs apart with my knee and positioned myself between her legs. She wrapped her legs around me and I lost the last shred of my control. I slammed into her like an animal.

  “Oh God, Tobey,” she moaned.

  “Shit,” I breathed.

  I moved fast and hard. She met me thrust for thrust with the same animalistic need. Her nails dug into my back and it heightened the moment. I knew it wasn’t goin
g to be long. Mary has literally been driving me crazy for this past week. It had been a while since I had a woman and I never had one that I cared for like this or was as beautiful as she was.

  Wrapping my arms under her shoulders, I began kissing her neck. She trailed kisses and her tongue along my shoulder. Her soft moans were so damn sexy and the taste of her skin was better than anything that I have ever tasted.

  “Damn Mary,” I moaned.

  “Tobey please,” she moaned.

  We moved together as if we were made for each other, fitting perfectly. It wasn’t long before I could feel her tightening around me and that was all it took to send me over the edge. It was an explosion of fireworks and a sensation stronger than I had ever felt. After what seemed like an eternity, my arms gave out and I collapsed on her. Our breathing erratic, we just laid there trying to get ourselves under control. She broke the silence.

  “Wow!”

  I laughed, I couldn’t stop myself. I laughed.

  “My thoughts exactly.” I rose up on my elbows and looked down at her. Leaning forward, I kissed her gently. “That was amazing.”

  She smiled at me.

  There was a knock at the door and Scott shouted in, “If you two are done playing, we have work to do.”

  It was the sound of Scott’s voice that brought me back to what I have just done. Not only did I just have the best sex in my life, but I had sex with the very woman that could have possibly hurt some family. What in the world was I thinking?

  I know exactly what I was thinking! FUCK!

  I needed space. Time away from her intoxicating scent and body in order to think things over. Moving off the bed, I grabbed my clothes and dressed with my back to her. I could feel the confused look burning into my back.

  “Duty calls us.” I said without turning around and walking toward the door. “Hurry up and get dressed you have a long list to get done.”

  I walked out of the room without a glance back at her. When I got to the barn, I was greeted with a beaming Scott. I glared at him and he looked at me like I was crazy.

  “Dude, you just got laid by one of the hottest girls alive and you’re still pissy?” He said.

  Before I could reply Mary was coming out of the house calling my name. I felt horrible, but I was pissed off at myself for letting things go that far. Not knowing what I was going to do, I shouldn’t have let that happen. Normally, I have more self-control than that. She was messing me up and I didn’t like it.

  “Tobey. What hap…” She started, but I interrupted her.

  “You need to fix this stall and the one on the end. When you’re done with something make sure you put the shit back where it belongs.” I snapped.

  “I put it where it seemed to be useful. I thought…”

  “You don’t get to think about things like that. This is my ranch not yours! You are supposed to do what you are told and nothing more. If you can’t handle that then you can leave.” I snapped at her finally forcing myself to look at her.

  My heart broke when I saw her fighting with tears. This was such a big fucking mess and now I’m not sure I can go back from the way I just treated her even if I wanted to. To her right now, I just fucked her brains out and walked away like every other guy in her world has.

  FUCK!

  “Scott, give her the run down on the afternoon list and make sure she doesn’t screw it up.” With that I stormed off.

  My head was about to explode and I needed a few moments to myself before it happened. Things have changed, I have changed. The question for me now was what I was going to do about it. Honestly, I don’t know. Playing the last hour over and over in my head, I realized that I’m not even sure I could change or fix things even if I wanted to. That thought just pissed me off even more.

  What upset me more than anything was that I know I am in love with her. Without a doubt, know that she is it for me, but will never be mine. I can’t give her me right now. Not when I have the looming family factor hanging over my head. For the first time, I’m the one being hurt because I’m hurting someone I love.

  Fuck!

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mary

  “Tobey?” I said hurt.

  Here I thought we shared something amazing and things might finally be changing for us, but I guess I was wrong. How could I feel this strongly about a man that didn’t feel the same? I turned to look at Scott, who had a sympathetic look on his face.

  “I’m sorry, Mary.”

  “He…He used me?” My voice just barely a whisper.

  “He has a lot going on right now. It’s not my place to tell you. I know…”

  “You know? God! I thought he was different. I love…” I cut myself off, shaking my head.

  “Let’s take your mind off things and work okay. Maybe things will straighten themselves out before too long. Okay?”

  Scott went about showing me how to correct the stalls Tobey said I did wrong. Then had me doing a load of other things, but my mind would not slide away from how Tobey just treated me.

  How can someone that just shared that kind of moment with a person, be so damn callous the next? There was no way that it was just me that felt that. Before coming to his ranch, he was perfect with me, he was… Was that all an act?

  Now here I stand with my arms aching from the strain of chopping wood. What the hell did he need the wood for? Where was the purpose? Maybe he was just trying to break my will so I didn’t start my own ranch. The anger that surged through me was strong and forcefully surged me forward. Each swing was falling harder and faster. The sound of the wood splintering with each chop sent a satisfying thrill through my veins. No, not a thrill, but a power. If he thought that he was so damn perfect and that I was weak, then I would show him just how wrong he was.

  “The wood needs to be chunks not splinters.”

  I screamed and whirled around with ax in hand. “Jesus! You scared me Scott!”

  “Sorry. You looked pretty peeved, but we need this wood in chunks in order for there to be any use out of it other than as a fire starter,” he smiled.

  “Yeah, well…” I just shrugged and dropped the ax.

  “Listen, I know you are upset about Tobey. I can’t explain what is going through his head, but I can tell you that he is a good guy. If I were to guess, I think he’s confused with how he feels and should feel. Does that make sense?”

  “No and really I don’t care for you to elaborate at all. I am going to go cook supper, if that is okay?”

  “And go for a run?” He teased.

  “Yeah, and go for a run.” I snapped back as I started to storm past him.

  “You did well today Mary. You should be proud.” Scott said.

  I stopped and took a deep breath before turning around to face him. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch, but I’m all over the place at the moment and…” I trailed off.

  “He’s a good guy, Mary. Really, he is. He has a lot going on and I think its straining on him.”

  I just nodded, turned and left. Once inside and looking through the options, I started supper and changed into my running clothes. Today I ran with a vengeance. I ran like there was no tomorrow. It wasn’t just a run to clear my head. I was trying to rid my body of the feeling that has taken over me. In just one week, this guy has achieved what no other guy has. He’s made me fall in love with him. I loved the fucking irritating bastard and it pissed me off to no end.

  With every foot that hit the road, with every sound of the gravel crunching under my feet, I tried to push away all thoughts of how good Tobey made me feel. I tried to push away how much I knew I loved him and how bad it was going to hurt to stay here every day and not act on that.

  What the hell was I thinking? I saw the look in his eyes that day at the meet and greet. I knew he was trouble, but still I embarked on this world of pain and hurt…for what? Angrily I swiped my hand across my cheek as a tear slipped down it. As I neared the house again, I just wanted to run in there and grab my shit and leave. No, I
wasn’t going to do it… I was doing it. There was no way I was staying around here for him to rip me to shreds anymore. It would be better to do this all in private. Without stopping to work down my pulse and continue my routine, I stomped up the stairs and through the house and into my room. After supper I was gone. Today was a horrible day. How did this happen? This day sucked! Ugh!

  I flopped down on the chair in the room. I have had it for the day. Tobey can take his ‘this is my ranch and you need to follow my rules’ and shove it up his ass. Why do I have to be so damn attracted to a man that has such hatred for me? Walking over to my bag, I pulled out my favorite book. I took this book with me everywhere. This author knew exactly the kind of cowboy I wanted. Hell, she made him times three. Second Chances had to be the best book I have ever read. I think I'm going on my tenth time reading it to be honest. She summed up perfectly how a man should be toward a woman.

  Looking toward my door, I contemplated throwing the book at him and telling him to do research on how a man is supposed to act toward a woman. Fuck! There is no way that I am the only one feeling this pull...this...Hell, I don't know how to describe it. Looking back at my book, then toward my door again, I decide I'm not going to hide away. I'm going to go and sit on his precious porch swing and I'm going to read there until I know I won't have to look at him anymore. Opening my door slightly, I listened for any sign that he was already inside. When I heard nothing, I headed toward the front door.

  I take a deep breath of fresh air once I step out on the porch. It was beautiful out here. That was all I could say because the owner, though beautiful in his skin, was ugly underneath it. At least that is what he is showing me anyway. Sitting down on the swing, I pulled my legs to my chest, opening my book and started reading. It wasn't long before I heard someone climbing the steps. I didn't bother looking up.