Before He Was Famous: HotFlush Book 1

by Becky Wicks

'Whoever was in the stadium was never traced,' I say. 'And there haven't been any more notes so...'

  'So you'll be back in New York soon, then?'

  'I guess so,' I reply, and I don't miss the flutter of joy in his eyes. 'The truth is though, I've kind of been working on something else.'

  He raises his eyebrows. 'What's that?'

  I pull out my phone, go to the photo gallery and hold it up. 'Flick it backwards,' I say as he takes it from me and I watch his eyes widen as he looks through the shots I've saved to my phone. The originals are at my mom's house, waiting.

  'Wow. Chloe, these are stunning, when did you...'

  'It's snowing,' Denzel announces, cutting him off just as Noah walks through the door in a blast of cold wind. Everyone turns.

  Courtney rushes over to him, starts brushing the snow from his shoulders. His hood is up, covered in white. 'Jesus, you look like the fucking yeti, Lockton,' she fusses. She grabs his hand and tries to pull him over to where Britney's sitting at the long log table, stroking The Great Catsby, but Noah pulls away from her instantly and heads straight for me.

  'I need to talk to you,' he says, stopping in front of me. His eyes are steelier than ever. His nose is slightly red from the cold, his cheeks are flushed, his stubble is darker -- there must be three or four days' worth. 'Now,' he adds.

  Something in his voice, in his face makes me reel. I'm angry because he's angry and because just by looking at me like that he's undoing me all over again.

  'What about?' I say, but Zayne grabs my arm.

  'Chloe, these really are insane,' he says. 'Noah, have you seen...'

  'No, he hasn't,' I blurt, grabbing the phone back, but Noah takes it off me.

  'Seen what?'

  I expect a reaction but nothing like the one I get. His eyes grow wide and then into slits. He looks ready to kill someone. 'What the fuck is this?' he fumes, holding out the phone. 'Chloe, what the hell were you doing out with him?'

  'What? What're you talking about?' I snatch the phone and realize he's not talking about my secret project at all. He's flipped back too far. He's been looking at the photo of me and Aaron -- the one taken in the bar on the night we papped Brandon Cleaver. 'Aaron?'

  'Wait, this is Aaron?' Noah's eyes are bulging. 'Chloe, this is the guy I almost punched that time outside HotFlush -- the one I had to go on fucking TV and apologize to!'

  My breath snags. Courtney's wandered over now. 'Are you sure?' I say.

  'Of course I'm sure, he was right up in my face!'

  'He's a paparazzi,' Zayne cuts in at my side, 'Didn't you know that?'

  'Of course I didn't fucking know that,' Noah roars. 'Did you know, Chloe?'

  I look away.

  'I've seen him,' Courtney's saying now, taking the phone. Catsby's hanging over her arm like a ragdoll. 'He's followed me a bunch of times.'

  Noah grabs my wine and swigs it back, then orders another. I loosen my scarf. I'm so hot. 'I didn't know he was the one who gave you all that trouble,' I tell him. 'He never told me that. He took me on a couple of shoots outside of Shimmer stuff... one was to catch Courtney acting drunk.'

  'Woah!' Courtney.

  'I never told you 'cause I know how they ruin everything and I never meant to get involved, Noah, it just kind of happened.' My brain is skidding and sliding all over the place but as the pieces fall together it's totally clear how Aaron always went out of his way not to meet Noah. He always loved asking me about him but he didn't come up to the studios that time before the shoot, he never came to MoonRise, he never came to any of the gigs in spite of being given free tickets.

  'What happened that night, Chloe?' Noah's saying now, 'when you were out with him, before you got mugged?'

  Courtney's still studying the photo, looking amused. I take the phone from her roughly, put it in my purse. 'We caught Brandon Cleaver when he was wasted,' I say. 'Aaron wanted me to email the shots to him at the time I took them but I didn't 'cause that's when someone stole my camera. I wasn't going to anyway,' I add, 'but they came out later in the press.'

  Noah's swigging wine like it's water next to me now and Zayne's gone quiet. 'Aaron's coming here tomorrow,' I say, 'he's covering the shoot but he said he wanted to talk to me.'

  'Did he say what about?' Noah frowns. I shake my head, clutch at Tinker-Bell. If Aaron's been avoiding Noah all this time, why did he let himself get set up for this music video assignment? He can't just be wanting to admit that he was papping him that day outside HotFlush -- why would he bother after all this time?

  'Maybe it was him who went after you in the park -- maybe he attacked you for the photos.' Noah says, clenching his fist around his glass. 'Maybe he finally feels shit enough about it to admit it...'

  'Noah, that's ridiculous,' I say.

  'What did the cops say when the photos from the stolen camera were printed?' Courtney asks.

  'I never told them anything about the photos in the first place, I told you... I didn't want to be linked to any of it. Aaron told me he tried to trace the photos but no one could help him.'

  'That right there smells like bullshit. How do you know he tried? Why didn't you just tell the cops all this?' Courtney cries, but Noah grabs her wrist.

  'Stop it.' He turns to me. 'I don't trust him, Chloe. What if he mugged you and sold those photos himself?'

  'For fuck's sake,' Zayne holds up his hands between them. 'Aaron wouldn't do that!'

  'What's all this?' Denzel asks, cancelling another call with a grunt as he walks up to us.

  Zayne sighs. 'I think we need to ask our friend Aaron a few things when he gets here tomorrow. He turns to Noah. 'That's not to say he attacked Chloe.'

  'Did he leave the bar, straight after me?' I ask him.

  'He had a phone call I think. He was outside for a while...'

  'Jesus, why didn't you say anything?' Noah cries.

  'I thought you guys covered it all with the cops! It's not up to me to start announcing suspects! Aaron's a decent guy...'

  'He's a fucking pap, Zayne. I can't believe you knew that,' Noah growls at him.

  'I can't believe you didn't!'

  'Is anyone in this industry not completely corrupt?!' I shout, signaling for another glass of wine.

  38

  Noah

  I've never seen snow falling as thick as it is right now, even after two more hours of us all being trapped in the bar. Everyone's drunk and still drinking by the time Courtney's had enough.

  'Time for the old Uncle Ned, I think love,' Denzel says, noting her nodding head and she groans.

  'I don't want to go bed!' she slurs over our Jenga game. The ability to build a tower has gotten progressively worse the more red wine we've drunk, but there's no way we could have gone outside.

  'I think you should take her, mate' Denzel tells me, this time without looking up from his BlackBerry. 'Make sure she doesn't pass out in the snow, for Christ's sake.'

  I hold Courtney's head up as she comes over and leans it on my shoulder, nuzzling my neck. I don't want to take her to her cabin because I'll probably get stuck there and I also don't want to think about Chloe alone with Zayne. She's still drinking wine. She's loosened up with him at least and they're laughing. I don't know how to get to her. You could still cut the tension between us with a goddam ice pick.

  'I'll go if you come, Noah,' Courtney mumbles into my shoulder. Catsby is curling around her legs and I can see she's too drunk to even focus on picking him up now. She hasn't drunk this much in weeks. Thank fuck there are no paps here; they'd have a field day. I think of Aaron in a flash and my fists clench on their own. I don't know how I'm not gonna punch his lights out tomorrow, whatever it is the asshole has to say.

  'I'll take her,' Britney's saying now, walking over, slamming a glass on the bar and snaking a big arm around Courtney's waist.

  'No, no, it's cool, I'll help her, you just keep the cat in here,' I reply, trying not to sound like a dick. I grab Courtney's coat from the stool and help her shuffle her arms into it. 'I
'm coming straight back.' I tell Chloe. I say it right into her eyes, hoping she knows what I really mean; that we need to talk without Zayne or anyone else around, finally, but she flicks her gaze quickly between me and Courtney and says nothing. Then she turns back to Zayne. He's got his hand on her knee. I grip Courtney to me harder to stop my fist knocking him away from her.

  Walk away. Just walk away.

  The moment the door bangs shut behind us, Courtney pulls away from me, lifts her arms to the snow falling hard from the sky and starts stomping through the thick white drifts towards the cabins. The flurries are huge and she squeals, pulling her hood further over her face.

  'I looooooove the snow!' she's yelling now, dropping to her knees in it and scraping it up into her arms. I run to her, drag her up, brush her down as she laughs and throws a snowball at me.

  'Courtney, you'll get sick!'

  'Let's make a snowman! Do you wanna build a snooowmaaan? Sing with me Lockton!'

  'I'm not singing Disney songs with you now, no.' For the love of God, what is it with girls and that movie?

  'Oh, come on, I never get to see the snow!'

  'Then move to Alaska,' I snap, shaking the breaking ball of it off my head. 'Courtney, let's go.' Fucking hell, she's killing me.

  'OK, OK, fine, dad, but you're coming with me.'

  It takes me about forty minutes to get away. She does the dance she always does, acting like a tease as she strips her clothes off, wrapping her arms around me, then her legs and I basically have to tuck her tightly under six heavy blankets to make her stay put. Luckily she passes out almost instantly.

  I creep back out into the snow. The air is still and silent and most of the lights are off as I make my way back to the bar. I'm pretty sure Chloe and Zayne will be long gone. I stomp ahead anyway but before I get there I see her, standing in the snow by the ski lifts. She's taking a photo with her phone. I look around for Zayne but miraculously I can't see him anywhere. I walk towards her, reach a hand out to her shoulder. She startles and spins around. 'Noah! God, you scared me...'

  'What are you doing?' Her hair is wet. 'Where's your hat?'

  She shrugs. 'I must've left it in Zayne's cabin.'

  My stomach twists at her words. 'Where is he?'

  'Asleep. I snuck out,' she says, looking up at me. I reach for her parka hood, pull it up over her head. 'Where did you go before?' she asks through snowy lashes. 'Up there?' She points to the line of chairs leading up the mountain and I nod. 'Why?' she says.

  'To think. Come on Pan, we need to go, it's frozen out here.'

  'I feel OK,' she slurs.

  I frown at her. Is everyone wasted tonight? Am I too, and I'm just being sobered by all this bullshit? I bite the inside of my mouth. She's drunk, but at least she didn't stay with Zayne.

  'I'm alright,' she says, defiantly. 'You go. I'm gonna take some more photos for the blog.' She turns around but I grab her, pull her towards me, loop my arms around her waist and bring my face close to hers.

  'Fuck the blog, Chloe. I want to talk to you.'

  She shuts her mouth.

  'How much wine did you drink?' I ask, just as she goes to take a close up photo of me with the phone. I cover my face and step backwards. 'Don't!'

  'Oh, so you're shy now?' she laughs. 'When did that happen? Isn't there like, one blog you haven't been on in Japan, or is it Bolivia? Or Pakistan? There must be one, right, somewhere? You gotta keep smiling for the world, Noah Lockton. Just smile, smile, smile...'

  'Very funny.' I reach for her again but she pulls away from me. Her eyes aren't smiling now.

  'Go back to Courtney,' she orders. 'Seriously. What're you even doing out here?'

  'We haven't had a second to ourselves,' I tell her. 'I wanted to tell you...'

  'You could've told me anything on the phone for the last month, but you didn't,' she fumes, going to walk away. She only steps a foot from where I'm standing but the snow's coming down so thick I almost lose sight of her.

  'You didn't call me either, Chloe. Fuck... look, let's get inside, please, we shouldn't be out here.' I catch her up, grab her hand. She yanks hers away but I take it straight back, hold tight and pull her through the snow towards my cabin.

  We reach the porch, climb the three log steps and she stands there brushing the snow off her clothes and scowling as I pull off my gloves and unlock the door.

  39

  Chloe

  I step inside the tiny cabin, throw myself on the bed and close my eyes. It's so warm in here. Someone's been in to stoke the fire. My head won't stop spinning.

  I didn't mean to get so drunk but the more I kept thinking about Aaron and Zayne and the gargantuan wall between me and Noah the more I wanted to blur it all out again. But I don't feel numb. I just feel awful. Somehow I manage to wiggle my shoes off onto the floor.

  'Chloe, get up, you're soaking!'

  'Leave me alone,' I moan, but Noah clutches my arm and pulls me to my feet.

  'Here, put this on.' He holds out a T-shirt he's pulled from his suitcase and I take it, seeing two of them and wobbling as I make my way to the bathroom. I strip off all of my wet clothes and as I pull the green Shamrock shirt over my head I catch a glimpse of my soaking wet hair in the mirror. I'm not a pretty picture. My eyeliner is streaking down my face in mini rivers and clumps of mascara are starting to form on my eyelashes.

  The thought of anyone seeing me standing here looking wrecked in Noah Lockton's T-shirt catches me off guard and I grin, leaning on the basin to steady myself. I think of the girls chasing me down Pearl Street, asking for my autograph in Starbucks; the girl in the Lockette shirt, backstage with Ryder. What would they say if they saw me now?

  Noah's walking in behind me. His reflection is frowning as I rub at my face. 'What's wrong?' I ask him, spinning round. It takes a few seconds for him to come back into focus.

  'Nothing.' He grabs a clean towel from the rail and steps towards me. Throwing it over my head he starts to rub my hair and I flop, reaching out my hands to steady myself and feeling them land against his bare chest. The hardness of it sobers me for a second as the usual electric current buzzes between us. I can see why he's been enlarged in the corner of the Knight Ryder tour posters lately. I don't even think he's been airbrushed. The way his jeans sit on his hips, the way his stomach and abs are more ripped than the denim -- it should all be illegal.

  'Where's your shirt?' I blurt.

  'I took it off,' he replies and I can't help it, I start laughing.

  Noah stops and pulls the towel away. 'What's funny?'

  'You're on the RTD!'

  'What?'

  'In Denver, on the posters! And you're not even Photoshopped are you?'

  'What are you talking about, Pan?'

  'You love trying to dry my hair, don't you?' I say. 'Noah Lockton is actually drying my hair! Can we put this scene in your music video, maybe in slow-mo?'

  He steps away from me and tosses the towel into the laundry basket. I flop against the basin again, watching him as he opens the bathroom cupboard and starts looking for something.

  'You're the Noah Lockton,' I tell his bare back quietly, watching his muscles tighten and contract in the dim light as he ignores me and rummages through a basket on one of the shelves. 'You're a mega star. Do you know how many girls would die to be me right now? How many girls would die to be in this room with you, in that bed in there? With the Noah...'

  'Stop it Chloe, for fuck's sake, are you a child?' He spins round to face me and I shut my mouth. There's a look on his face I can't read but it stuns me to my core.

  'Here, take these.' He grabs my hand and pushes two Advils into it, shoving the box back in the cupboard before moving me aside by the shoulders and filling a glass of water at the basin. He hands it to me. 'Drink them down.'

  I stumble on my way back into the bedroom. He follows me. Popping the pills into my mouth I wash them down with the water and go to fall back on the bed, just as Noah grabs the empty glass from my hand and rests it saf
ely on the wooden nightstand. He stands and watches me with that look on his face again.

  I prop myself up clumsily on my elbows. 'What?'

  He shakes his head, then turns for another shirt.

  'You don't have to put that on,' I say. 'What, do you think just because you're Noah Lockton a girl can't be in the same room as you without jumping you?'

  'I never said that,' he answers quietly, still with his back to me.

  'Just because you're the Noah Lockton...'

  'Stop it!'

  I jump as he spins on his heels and slams his fists down on the mattress. 'What the fuck is your problem?' His jaw's ticking, his eyes are gray slits. 'Why're you being such a bitch?'

  I draw a sharp breath, fill my lungs with air and hold it there as he continues. 'What's all this the Noah Lockton shit? When have I ever tried to be anyone different with you?'

  'Noah...

  'Seriously Chloe, you're fucking with my head.'

  'I'm just drunk, I'm...'

  'That's no excuse for being a bitch!' He storms back into the bathroom and slams the door behind him. The wind is howling outside now. I can hear it battering the shutters. Shit. I fall back on the bed and stare at the log beams on the ceiling, hearing the taps gush and the cupboard door slam loudly. I put my palms over my eyes and press them tightly onto my face. I hate myself.

  When the bathroom door opens, Noah walks out looking only slightly calmer than before. I sit up and eye him cautiously. He walks past the fire, around the bed, grabs a pillow roughly from beside me and takes it over to the small window seat. I can see the snow blurring into a flurry behind him. Or maybe it's my eyes making it do that.

  'Sorry,' I say quietly as he pulls the pillow to his bare chest.

  'I don't want you to think of me like that,' he replies quickly, 'like I'm someone else, some icon or whatever it is you meant by the Noah Lockton. Have I ever tried to make you feel like you should feel lucky to be anywhere with me? Have I ever done that on purpose?' He covers his face with his hands for a second and I scramble to my knees on the duvet.

  'Noah... '

  'Well, have I?' he looks up. 'Do you feel like you have to acknowledge the fact that I'm famous in order to be around me now? Is that what you think I want from people? Is that what you think I want from you?'