A Wallflower at the Highland Court: A Slow Burn Highlander Romance

by Barclay, Celeste

  “What’s wrong?” Hamish’s eyes swept over his daughter. It was rare for Maude or Blair to interrupt training at home, and it would be even more significant when men from so many clans practiced.

  “Naught, Da. I need to speak to you aboot something though. I didna mean to interrupt everyone’s training, but I wasna sure how else to find you.” She peered around Hamish’s shoulder and offered an apologetic smile to the Sutherlands who’d rushed over with their laird. She allowed her brogue to overtake her courtly speech as she relaxed into the conversation with her father.

  “Vera well.” He turned back to his men and nodded before escorting Maude to a bench at the entrance to the garden. “What’s happened, lass?”

  “I dinna ken if ye heard what happened this morning before ye arrived at the Great Hall.”

  “Ye mean yer mon carrying his caterwauling sister from the morning meal? Aye, I heard.”

  “Kieran’s plans changed because of Madeline’s behavior. Rather than moving forward with the marriage to the Matheson’s son, he’s set off to take her to Inchcailleoch Priory.”

  Hamish’s face blanched as he looked at his daughter. “The Isle of Auld Women?”

  “That would be the place.”

  “I canna imagine much worse than that abbey. They dinna allow anyone to speak except for when they’re in prayer. They make the women wear hair shirts under their robes. He must truly want to do away with her.”

  “Da, he’s nae trying to kill her. He needs her to distance herself from the MacLeods before she says the wrong thing to the wrong person. If ye arrived here and didna learn that Kieran and I had developed a fondness for one another, and if ye didna realize how different he is from his sister, what would have happened when ye learned of Madeline’s treatment of me?”

  Hamish ran his hand over his beard. He let it grow out when he was away from her mother. Lady Sutherland didn’t gainsay her husband about much, but she despised Hamish’s beard. She declared many times over the years that she didn’t want to look at a mountain man but rather the handsome and braw man she married. He tried to argue that the beard made for easier grooming, to which his wife responded by offering to shave him. Lachlan, Blair, and Maude had learned better than to interrupt their parents’ morning ablutions. They’d learned at a young age that far more than washing their faces went on.

  “I admit ma temper might get the better of me. I believe I’ve grown wiser and more judicious with age, but I’m an angry bear if I believe someone is harming ma bairns. While I wouldnae have picked a fight, it might have come to that if Kieran defended his sister.”

  “Aye, and what would Uncle Liam do if he learned of it?”

  “He’d take our side. Our fight is his fight.”

  “And his fight is who else’s fight?”

  “Aye, lass. I ken. The Mackays.”

  “Kieran understands that such a disagreement might never come to swords. He also knows he doesnae need more hostility and animosity directed toward the MacLeods. I’m sure he feared the Mackenzies would side with us, which would leave Assynt vulnerable. If the Mackenzies joined and Madeline married into the Mathesons, that would put her new clan squarely in the middle, since they’d be allied with both the Mackenzies and the MacLeods. Part of me feels a little bad for Madeline, but I also understand feuds have started over less.”

  “True enough.” Hamish watched his daughter for a moment before rubbing his hand over his beard again. “What else did he say?”

  “Kieran didna have the chance to say any of this,” Maude admitted. “He sent me a note. He’s declared he willna wait to court me in the open any longer.”

  “He’s convinced the two of ye are well matched. I want to ken if ye see beyond just his good looks. Looks fade with age,” Hamish grinned. “Nae yer mother but every other woman I ken her age. What will ye have once the physical attraction wanes?”

  “I hope we grow to love each other like you and Mama, but I canna know for sure. I respect him and am at ease, safe, with him. Kieran can be high-handed, but it’s only when he worries aboot me. He’s compassionate and he’s astute. I admire his loyalty to his clan even in matters that set him against his family. I suspect we’ll find we have much in common once we spend more than a few minutes together at a time.” Maude gifted her father with one of her brightest smiles. “And nay, he isnae hard on the eyes.”

  “Lass,” Hamish playfully warned, but grew serious as he took Maude’s hand. “I would have ye find someone who can cherish ye and bring that same smile to yer bonnie face every day for the rest of yer lives.”

  Maude looked toward the garden as she considered whether to share her next thought. She returned her gaze to the weathered and familiar face. “He makes me feel confident aboot myself, like I’m good enough. I ken you and Mama, and Blair and Lachlan, even Arabella now, try to make me feel that way, but it’s different with Kieran. And before you scowl, it’s nae aboot the kissing. Da, dinna fash.” Maude rested her hand on her father’s arm as he pretended to reach for his sword. “I ken you ken he’s kissed me. You’ve said as much. But it’s not aboot that. Kieran makes me feel that way even when we’re nae touching. He doesnae look down on me for ma insecurities, nor does he offer hollow platitudes. He knows they’re very real to me, but he accepts me nonetheless.”

  “Lass, I’d say ye have the foundation for a good friendship. It will take time to ken if it will develop into more, and to ken if that more is enough to build a life upon together. Being the laird’s wife isnae easy. Ye’ll be tested often. It helps when ye have a partner that ye can rely upon, lean upon. I have that with yer mama. She is ma greatest ally, and I trust her always. I wish the same for ye and Kieran because I ken in ma heart that it’s possible.”

  “Thank ye, Da. I love ye.” Maude didn’t hide her burr as she hugged her father. She remained in his embrace as she absorbed the comfort she still found there, and she realized her father missed being able to do it more often.

  “I love ye, lass. Nae matter what.”

  * * *

  Kieran was dirty, tired, and annoyed, but at least he could see the gates of Stirling Castle as he galloped closer. While arrangements for Madeline didn’t take as long as he expected, the abbess was a master negotiator, making it clear within minutes that she had experience haggling over dowries for the brides of Christ. It cost him more coin than he planned, but the settlement was on its way from Lewis. It would come to him at Stirling, where he would sign the deeds to the dower lands over to the Priory on the condition that the nuns on Iona could use them if they so chose, but they reverted to the MacLeods upon Madeline’s death or her release from servitude. It would take five years for Madeline to move from being a novice to a postulate to a nun. During those five years before taking her final vows, Kieran was willing to reconsider his decision to commit her to the nunnery, but only if she proved true remorse and a real desire to make amends. If the abbess doubted her sincerity, she would remain, spending her life in prayer with the hopes of redemption upon her death. He’d also arranged for two of his guards to deliver his regrets, along with a small chest of coins, to the Mathesons with an explanation that Madeline had been called to a life of service. He didn’t mention that it wasn’t God who’d called, but Kieran himself. He hoped that the money would be enough to smooth things over. It wasn’t as substantial as her dowry, but it was a generous settlement nonetheless.

  Kieran reined in Peat alongside the stables. As he unfastened his satchel, he considered using the trough again to refresh himself as he did the last time he reunited with Maude. Despite the journey being shorter and faster than returning from Lewis, he somehow felt grimier this time. He pushed aside the idea of going to his chamber and summoning a bath and followed his guards to the barracks where he could wash and change clothes. He was ready within a quarter of an hour. It was early afternoon, so Kieran was aware that the ladies were probably in the queen’s solar. Short of pounding on the door and being skewered by the queen’s guards, he need
ed to find another way to reach Maude. He wound his way to the spense and found it unlocked but empty. Kieran looked around outside to see if anyone was working nearby, but there was no one. He lit a candle and looked for a scrap of parchment or even bark upon which he could write. He found a piece of discarded parchment, surprised that anyone would waste so much, and a charcoal pencil. Kieran prayed she understood his note’s meaning and trusted that she would. Kieran crossed the bailey to the castle and found a page before returning to the spense where he had already extinguished the candle. He waited in the dark.

  Maude looked up when a young page came to stand beside her in the queen’s solar. She’d been reading and was unprepared for the boy to appear at her shoulder. She noticed the missive was unsealed and the parchment seemed to have crossed out writing. Maude glanced at the page, but he shrugged before leaving. She held her breath, hoping it might be from Kieran.

  The spense.

  Td

  It was from Kieran. She recognized the handwriting, but more than that, she understood Td stood for turtledove. She looked around, thankful that the queen had stepped out to use the garderobe and that the Mistress of the Bedchamber went with her. Maude seized upon the lack of supervision to slip out of the solar. She didn’t care who might have noticed. She still had her cloak with her, since she hadn’t returned to her chamber since her morning walk. Maude pulled the hood over her hair and held it in place, hiding her face as she hurried through the passageways. She entered the courtyard through a side entrance near the storerooms that included where they stored the herbs and medicinals. She crept to the door from the side that was least visible to the rest of the bailey. She pressed the door open and waited, but when no one moved, she pulled her dirk from her waist and stepped inside.

  “Keir-”

  “Put that away before you spear me, buttercup.”

  Maude dropped the knife, not caring that it clattered to the ground. A figure emerged from the dark, and when Kieran reached for her, she kicked the door shut. Kieran lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed her back to the door.

  “I recognized you since the light was behind you.” That was the only explanation he offered before their lips met. It was a hungry kiss, but it lacked the recklessness of the last two times they met in secret. There was tenderness where there had been pure lust in the past. “I’ve missed you, buttercup. It’s been a day, but I was so worried aboot you and didn’t see you before I hauled my sister away.”

  “I worried aboot you, too. I wanted to follow you but knew it would only make things worse. I felt horribly for you and, honestly, scared for Madeline.”

  “I frightened you, little one?” Kieran experienced more remorse than he did when he terrified Madeline. He’d wanted his sister to fear him so that she wouldn’t attempt to defy him any further. But it had never been his intention to intimidate Maude. “I’m sorry you saw that part of my temper. I can’t remember the last time I was that livid. It got the better of me. But I need you to know I never laid a hand on my sister in anger. I don’t hit women.”

  “And I never thought you did. It never crossed my mind that you’d hit her. I imagine she tempted you to throttle her, but I feared the amount of anger you held. I’d hate to come across you on the battlefield.” Maude stroked Kieran’s bristled cheeks even though she couldn’t see them. “I missed you, too.”

  They sank into another kiss, Maude’s arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers running through his hair as he squeezed her backside. She could feel his cock as it once again strained to find her. However, with her skirt’s many folds of material, she wasn’t spurred on as she had been when there was only the thin layer of his breeks separating them. Kieran moved them to the table in the center of the room, taking tentative steps to avoid slamming Maude into it. When he found it, he seated her on its surface and found the ends of her skirts. His thumbs caressed the sensitive spot on the inside of her ankles before sliding along her calves. He hooked his hands under her thighs and pulled her closer to him.

  “Would I shock you if I told you all the things I want to do to you?”

  “Not as shocked as you’d be if I told you what I’ve dreamed of.”

  Kieran growled as he nuzzled her neck and kissed along it before returning to nibble on her earlobe. His hands remained on her thighs, away from the temptation of sliding to her sheath. Her skin was smoother than anything he had ever touched, but the muscles beneath the skin were toned and strong.

  “I want to bury myself inside you, but not before I taste you.”

  “And how would you do that?” The purr in Maude’s voice made Kieran recognize it wasn’t an innocent question. Maude knew the answer but wanted to hear it from you.

  “I would lick your quim like I was lapping up the finest honey. After I made you writhe and beg for release, I would thrust into you. You’d have to hold onto the other edge of the table to keep from sliding across. I’d hold your hips up, so I reach the deepest edges of your core. I’d ride you until you scream my name then lay insensate as I lean across you, having spilled my seed in you.”

  “And if I told you I’d like to lick you like a honey cake, what would you do?”

  “Maude,” he warned.

  “Only you’re allowed to tease?”

  “Aye, but you have far more self-control than I do. Plant such images in my mind, and I will come undone.”

  “And you think it’s any easier for me to resist? I want to taste you just as you would me. I would try what I’ve overhead the older women discuss. My mouth aches to feel your cock inside it.”

  “Dear God above, Maude. That is the singularly most arousing thing I have ever heard.” Kieran stepped back from the table not trusting himself. “If I keep touching you, you won’t leave here a virgin, my wild buttercup.”

  Maude straightened and pushed her skirts down. She wriggled further back onto the table, restless and unsatisfied. She sensed more than saw Kieran pacing in front of her and could tell he was in the same predicament.

  “I shouldn’t meet you in secret anymore, Maude. The temptation to take things too far will be my undoing. I don’t want you to fear my interest in you is only to bed you.” Kieran came to stand before her again, and Maude could make out the outline of his broad shoulders from the small amount of light that shone through the crack between the door and its frame. He reached for her hand and held it between his two. “I don’t want your interest to only be aboot bedding me.”

  “You fear my feelings are that superficial?” Maude was incredulous.

  “This thing between us has moved quickly, and it’s clear we’re physically compatible, but I want more than that with you, Maude. I want something of substance that will last until we are old and gray.” He lifted her hand to his lips and brushed his lips over her knuckles. “I would make my intentions known and be able to court you in the open rather than sneaking around.”

  “I’d like that. I spoke with my father yesterday, and he knows that this is what we want.”

  “Will you allow me to escort you on your walk tomorrow?”

  “Aye. You dined with my father when you returned from Lewis. Would you do it again? With me there this eve?”

  “Are you allowed to do that? I mean dine apart from the other ladies.”

  “Do you imagine even the king or queen would deny my father? He may rarely use the title, but he’s not just a laird. He’s the Earl of Sutherland. He’s a powerful ally to the king, and my father’s niece and nephews are all godchildren of the king and queen.” Maude shifted uncomfortably for a moment before sharing something that she never discussed with anyone outside her immediate family though her clan knew. “They’re my godparents, too.”

  “What? King Robert the Bruce and Queen Elizabeth de Bourgh are your godparents?”

  “Aye. I don’t make a fuss of it, since I don’t want anyone to claim the queen plays favorites.”

  “She allowed my sister to kick you around like a lost kitten?”
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  “She didn’t allow aught,” Maude retorted. “She may be aware of all that goes on, but she isn’t our mother. We’re grown women. I didn’t need her to come to my rescue as though I can’t handle being taunted. Should I have run crying to tittle-tattle every time something was said that hurt my feelings?”

  “That’s not what I meant. I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself. You’ve been doing it for far too long, but that doesn’t mean she should turn a blind eye to something so wrong. I’ve known you for two moons, and I wanted to throttle my sister and her friends the night I met you. It’s not that you needed rescuing so much as it’s she shouldn’t allow such behavior among her ladies.”

  “Do you think they make it obvious? Do you think we snipe at each other in front of her? Of course not. It’s done behind hands and fans. It’s done when she isn’t near. It’s done while gossiping between dances. No one will confess to hurt feelings, so they leave her none the wiser. Going to her would be the same as cutting my hand open in front of a pack of wolves. One sniff of blood, and they would have been on me because she wouldn’t spare the few innocent ladies. Then they’d all have some bone to pick with me. No. I keep my head down and carry on until I leave.”