A Wallflower at the Highland Court: A Slow Burn Highlander Romance

by Barclay, Celeste

  “I’ve never been ashamed to be laird of this clan. At least not until today. I’ve tried to convince myself over and over that you’d come around and see beyond Maude’s appearance to the woman beneath. But you’re shallow and spiteful to judge her because she’s not frail and dainty like my mother and sisters. You’d rather admire their selfishness and laziness rather than appreciate a woman who has done naught but serve you since the morning after she arrived. Who bakes the bread you eat? Who ensures you have meat at each of your meals? Who hunts for that meat? Who brought medicinals, working alongside our healer and visiting our sick when the ague swept through a few sennights ago? Who has borne the embarrassment of hearing your snide comments with grace and an open heart? My wife, your lady. You are a disgrace. Those who have spoken ill toward my wife are without honor, but those who did naught to stop the others are just as bad, if not worse. You’re the ones who turned a blind eye to a wrong. I do not jest when I say I will take the lash to whoever played a part in this. I will learn who it was.”

  Kieran spun on his heel and marched to the stairs, which he took three at a time, leaving a stunned crowd to their own devices. He turned toward his chamber but paused when Abigail called out to him.

  “They’ll hate you for that, just as Mother warned. She doesn’t belong here, Kieran. She’ll never be one of us.”

  “Why do you hate her so much? You don’t even know her.”

  “She’s the reason you locked Madeline away. She ruined our sister’s life.”

  “She did no such thing. She argued against my decision and is the only voice that has kept you and Mother from joining Madeline. She’s been protecting you since before she met you. Madeline sank her own ship with her words and actions. She disgraced herself and embarrassed our clan, threatened to weaken us before the court with her unguarded tongue. It was her comments and actions that kept her from remaining at court or even marrying. She could’ve just as easily spewed her bile at another lady-in-waiting and caused even more damage. We’re all lucky that Maude and the Sutherlands forgave the slight. Other clans might not have. But you know Maude now. You’ve seen how hard she works and how hard she’s trying. What do you still have against her?”

  “You mean how she’s trying to ingratiate herself? How she’s trying to pretend she belongs when her clan killed our people only a few moons ago? What aboot how she spreads her legs for you like a whore? Everyone knows you can’t keep your prick to yourself. She looks like a tavern slut and acts like one. She’s not even pretty. She’s fat and plain with tits that belong on a jersey cow.”

  Kieran’s ears rang as he listened to the venom his little sister spewed. He wasn’t sure if it was their mother’s influence or if all the women in his family had a propensity to cruelty and jealousy. He shook his head as he looked at the young woman Abigail had grown into.

  “What if you marry a mon whose sisters don’t meet your standard of beauty? Would you disparage them? Shun them? Who are you to decide whether Maude is considered beautiful? I love my wife and believe she’s the bonniest and most desirable woman I’ve ever met.” Kieran realized he spoke the truth. He had been aware from the start that he desired Maude above all others, but he hadn’t been struck dumb by her beauty. He’d even thought her face was pretty but unremarkable in the beginning. Now, as he pictured her, he couldn’t think of anyone more lovely. Her rich chestnut hair as it curled over them as they made love. Her smoldering eyes that twinkled when she teased him. The long, thick lashes that hid her eyes when she was shy or guarded. Her crooked, gap-toothed smile that she rarely shared but warmed him to his toes when he was on the receiving end. Her curves that made him drool. Her button nose and soft chin that jutted forward at just the right angle when she was determined. Everything about her appearance appealed to him without considering who she was beneath the superficial. “Your vanity and haughtiness make you ugly, Abigail. You shall always come up lacking compared to other women. You may have an appealing face and frame, but your soul is ugly. I wish there was a way to change that, but I don’t think there is.”

  Kieran walked away and didn’t look back despite leaving his sister with her mouth agape. His heart hurt for his family, but it broke for Maude. She’d endured more than her share of pain in her short life. She’d proven stronger than the adversity she met, but it had taken its toll on her. He eased into their chamber before locking the door. He looked around and found her curled into a ball on the window embrasure. He approached with caution, not wanting to startle her or intrude if she wished that he not touch her. She turned haunted eyes toward him, and he noticed she clutched the broken wood in her hand. She looked back at the dark night sky without a word or sound. She was folded into such a small form that there was room for him to share the window seat. He was at a loss. He remained unsure how to comfort her when she was so closed off to him. Nothing about her body language said she wished for him to touch her, so he sat in silence across from her. He would wait until she was prepared to speak, but as time drew out, her silence became deafening. He feared she would tell him she would leave him, that she would ask her family to retrieve her. He would fight her until his last breath, plead with her to stay, but guilt gnawed at him for bringing her to a home he suspected all along would be unwelcoming, all because of his mother and sister. He fidgeted until Maude looked at him and sighed.

  “I’m not leaving you, if that’s what has you in a dither. You’re my husband, and I’m the lady of this clan, for better or for worse.”

  “Buttercup, I am so sorry for all of it. I’m sorry I brought you here. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you despite my promises. I’m sorry they’ve been cruel and unfair to you. I’m sorry they’ve hurt you. I’m just so very, very sorry. I was selfish and insisted upon getting what I wanted, and I should have thought of you instead. Really thought of you rather than assuming, in my own vanity, that I could control everything.”

  “Are you sorry you married me?” Maude whispered.

  “No.” Kieran’s response was instantaneous and vehement. “I’ll never regret marrying you, even if I regret how our marriage has affected you. I love you and would walk away from this all if I could.”

  “I would never let you do that.”

  “I know. You alone are why I couldn’t.”

  “Kieran, I can’t continue on as I have. I’m too tired to continue pretending that their words and actions don’t hurt me. I’m too worn to the bone to keep working harder than most just to please people who may never like me. I’m done guarding everything I say and do in case I give offense. And I’m bluidy well tired of being hungry all the time. I’ve felt ill for ages, and I’m certain it’s because I’m too scared to eat too much in front of people.”

  “Maude, your lack of appetite has worried me, but I was nervous aboot mentioning it. I didn’t want to upset you further by bringing attention to it, but I’m glad to hear you’ll eat more. You’ve scared me more than once, looking like you might collapse.”

  “I’m aware. I’ve given myself a good scare more than once. I’m hungry so often that I’m nauseous much of the day now.”

  “Between working too long and eating too little, I feared you’d succumb to the ague just as so many others did. Promise me, buttercup, that you will take better care of yourself. Agatha will send a tray up any time you’d like if you’re still not comfortable eating in front of others.”

  “So the women can gossip aboot how three meals aren’t enough for me and that I need extra sent to me so I can eat in hiding? I think not.”

  “Fine, but will you continue to accept the food Agatha saves for you?”

  “You found out aboot that?” Maude gasped.

  “I’ve seen her a few times, but she’s confessed to it. She worries aboot you and needles me to take better care of you every day.” Kieran stood and stepped beside Maude. He pulled the pins from her hair, letting them drop by his feet until her hair unraveled and he could massage her scalp and neck. Maude purred with contentment as the t
ension fell away. When she untucked her legs and leaned against him, Kieran eased her into his arms before carrying her to their bed where he set her down and undressed her. When they were both bare, he pulled down the covers and slid into bed beside her. His palm cupped her scalp as she pressed their bodies together. “I’m going to show you how devoted I am to you, wife. I love you to distraction, and while I can’t control what others think of you, I’ll leave you without a doubt that I adore you and am hopelessly devoted to you.”

  Maude sat up, serious, as she looked at Kieran. “There were times when I first arrived that I worried you might tire of me, that you would find it easier to leave me alone than live with the snide comments, but you’ve proven time and again how you feel. You don’t have to keep proving it. I didn’t believe Adeline’s comments aboot Maggie. I know you love me. I know your honor would never allow you to stray. And I know you haven’t had the time to sneak away. If you’re not in the lists, then you’re with me. How could you be with anyone else?”

  “You may know that, but it doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop showing you.”

  When Maude purred and grasped his rod, Kieran growled as he lowered to them to the bed. He pulled her leg over his hip and slipped into her before groaning and rolling them, so Maude’s back pressed against the bed. He nipped at her ear before suckling her neck and shoulder. Maude clutched the sheets as he kneeled between her legs. He lifted her hips, his fingers biting into the skin hard enough to guarantee he would leave bruises. He surged into her over and over, rocking and circling his hips as the sounds of their bodies and their moans filled the chamber. When he arrived in their chamber, he’d intended to be gentle with her all night, but her need spurred him on. He’d be tender the next time, and every other time that night. Right now he would show her that no matter what anyone said, he desired her beyond reason.

  “More,” Maude panted.

  “Might hurt,” Kieran grunted.

  “More,” Maude demanded as she reached up to graze her teeth along his neck. Kieran leaned over her on his forearms. She raised her arms over her head to entwine her fingers with his. She met him thrust for thrust as she ground her mound against him. Their mouths found one another as their need coalesced into an inferno of desire as they both raced toward their climax. Maude ripped her mouth away.

  “Kier!” She screamed. “Yes!”

  “Fuck,” Kieran gritted out before bellowing, “Maude!”

  Maude was certain she could feel the jets of his seed, and he continued to rock against her as she shattered once more. She held Kieran as their chests heaved, and she couldn’t imagine leaving the man she loved. While the physical pleasure he brought her was immeasurable, it was the moments after, the tenderness they shared, that made her realize he was as devoted to her as she was to him. She didn’t believe he could fake the way his eyes lingered on hers, the soft kisses he pressed to her temples, his murmurs of love. She felt wholly accepted by Kieran, and she understood that even if she were to return to Sutherland, she would never find another person who made her feel complete.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Maude snuggled under the covers as Kieran slumbered pressed against her back. She was warm and secure as she floated into the land of the living, but all too suddenly the memory of the night before came flooding back. She felt anger and sadness warring within as she looked at the broken figurine she’d left on the window embrasure. She gritted her teeth as she felt her entire demeanor shift. It hardened into determination and a disinterest in kowtowing any longer to the MacLeod women. The men could think what they wanted, since the only male opinion that mattered to her was Kieran’s. She feared her plan would lead to an argument, but she didn’t care. She would run the keep as she saw fit, with no further delay. There were still several challenges to her authority, and the first would begin in the kitchen with Fiona.

  Maude slipped from the bed but didn’t step away before a brawny arm pulled her back against a muscular chest.

  “You weren’t planning to run away, were you, buttercup?” Kieran’s groggy, deep voice rumbled through her back and shot tingles into her core.

  “I have a few tasks I would like to complete before the women fill the kitchens.”

  “Oh?”

  “Kieran, I’ll forewarn you that I’ll make several people angry today, but I don’t care in the slightest. You can expect to hear complaints aboot me, but if this is truly my home and I’m truly the lady of the keep, there are several more things that need changing. The most pressing is Fiona’s cooking. It’s atrocious. I don’t understand how she’s lasted so long, but everyone deserves food with more flavor and variety. If I eat one more turnip, I will turn into one. There is meat that will soon putrefy if we don’t cook it this sennight, but despite my suggestions, she refuses to heed me. It’s as though she intends to defy me.”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me. She’s set in her ways. My mother hates spending time in the kitchens, so she allows Fiona to do as she pleases, which has caused several furors with Agatha. If you can improve the fare that comes from the kitchens, I’ll sing your praises from the rooftops.”

  “I also intend to remove the beeswax candles from your mother’s and sister’s chambers and save them for Beltane. It approaches in a few weeks, and we don’t have enough of the finer candles. I also want the entire Great Hall floor swept and scrubbed before the women lay fresh rushes. Had the floor been tidy, no one would have been able to hide my figurine, nor would anyone have missed it and stepped on it. Agatha is a fine housekeeper, but the maids can be as defiant to her as they are to me. I suspect that’s also your mother’s doing. I get the sense she and Agatha don’t rub along well.”

  “You’re right aboot that. Agatha has been the housekeeper since my father was a bairn. She raised him and me, so neither of us was ever willing to entertain replacing her, but my mother hasn’t made Agatha’s life easy ever since Agatha made the mistake of thinking my mother would run the keep as you do. Agatha welcomed Mother as a young bride and deferred to her in the beginning, but Mother turned her nose up at the work. My grandmother raised Mother to be a competent chatelaine, but my mother refused the responsibility. She’s naught like my grandmother was, but my sisters follow in her footsteps.”

  “I’ll be unpopular with your men, too, because I’m going to insist the women scour the kitchen fireplaces as well. That’s half the problem with the food. But if the women dawdle or give me any argy-bargy, it’ll be a cold supper for everyone.”

  “I’ll give my men notice, and I’ll suggest the married ones check with their wives during the nooning to ensure the women’s cooperation, or it’ll be their fault their husbands get bread and cheese.”

  “So, you’ll support me in this? Even if it’s a showdown?”

  “Of course, I will. I trust you implicitly, and even if you haven’t solved all the problems here, the keep runs better than it ever has in my memory.”

  “Even if I tell rather than ask?”

  “Why should you continue to ask? You’ve tried to blend in and not upset the apple cart, but they’ve chosen to be difficult. Bring them to heel and to understand you won’t be chased away.”

  Maude saw no patronizing look in Kieran’s eyes, nor did she sense he was placating her. The opposite seemed true: he was cheering her on to take a stand. She gave him a loud, smacking kiss before he rolled them so she straddled his hips. The sun hadn’t risen when they left their bed, but a few of the women were already in the kitchens when Maude arrived.

  * * *

  Maude took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before turning to face Fiona. Their battle was about to commence, and she had a room full of witnesses.

  “The morning meal has ended, so I want at least ten buckets of water boiled before you douse the fires. You’ll need to shovel the embers out before you scrub the grates and hearth along with the chimney.” Maude announced as her gaze swept across the women gathered before her. She’d alerted Agatha to her plans, since some work
she expected done would encroach upon the other woman’s domain. The older woman had been all too happy to support Maude and thanked her for showing some gumption at last. She was also done with her prim court accent.

  “Nay,” Fiona refused. “There’s nay time for that. I have a pottage to prepare.”

  “I dinna believe I asked a question, so ‘nay’ is nae an acceptable response. Ye will do as I say. I am fed up to my eyeteeth with the abysmal food ye serve. I’ve tasted better when eating two-day-old stew in a dirty tavern. I’ve ignored the issue for long enough. I’ve made diplomatic suggestions aboot seasoning and cooking that ye ignored, but I refuse to continue to ask for any of ye to do what I have always expected. If ye want a hot meal served tonight, ye’d do well to move sharpish. And if I taste pottage again this moon, I will replace ye, Fiona. If we relight the stoves in time, we will have the cured beef that’s aboot to turn putrid if we dinna use it within the next few days. We’ll add it to lamb and bone marrow with fresh vegetables from the garden that needs weeding. There’s barley that needs using before we find weevils. It will be hotchpotch for the evening meal. I’ll send some lads out to fish for haddock this morning, and we can smoke their catches all day. Even if hotchpotch isnae possible because the women dinna work fast enough, we can at least serve Arboath smokies as something hot.”

  “Nay,” Fiona declared as she banged a wooden bowl onto the workstation where she was preparing to chop turnips. “Ye dinna run this kitchen. I do. I will take this up with the laird. He willna stand for this. Ye’ll see.”

  “And this is where ye are wrong. Where ye are all wrong. I run this keep. I am chatelaine, and I make the decisions, including setting the menu. We’ve met every sennight, and yet ye insist upon preparing dishes that we didna agree upon. I warn ye now, Fiona. Challenge me again, and ye’ll be out on yer arse. There isnae a servant in this keep who I canna replace. Ye’d all do well to remember that. I’ve tried to blend in, and ye’ve been a disrespectful and ungrateful lot. I dinna give a bluidy damn if ye like me. Nae anymore. Ye’ll follow ma instructions without complaint or defiance. Ye’ve erred in assuming I’m a pushover. What ye see now is what ye’ve reaped from the rotten seeds ye sowed when I arrived.” Maude looked around the kitchen at the varying looks of shock and anger. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. “Get to work or leave. But if ye go, dinna come back. Dinna come back to work. Dinna come back to eat. Dinna come back to wag yer chins. And if ye wish to tittle-tattle to the laird, he’s in the lists. But ye should be aware that I discussed this with him and have his full support. I believe he asked why I hadnae taken the lot of ye in hand sooner. Now work!”