The Vnfortunate Traveller, or The Life Of Jack Wilton

by Thomas Nash

church robbers in these dayes haue made a den of theeues.Theeues spend loosely what they haue got lightly, sacriledge is no sureinheritance, _Dionisius_ was nere the richer for robbing _Iupiter_ ofhis golden coate, he was driuen in the end to play the schoolmaster atCorinth. The name of religion, be it good or bad that is ruinated, Godneuer suffers vnreuenged, He say of it as _Ouid_ sayd of Eunuchs:

  _Qui primus pueris genitalia membra recidit Vulnera qua fecit deduitipse pati._

  Who first depriude yong boies of their best part, With selfe same wounds he gaue he ought to smart.

  So would he that first gelt religion or Churchliuings had bin first gelthimselfe or neuer liued, Cardinall _Wolsey_ is the man I aime at, _Quiin suas ponas ingeniosus erat_, first gaue others a light to his owneouerthrow. How it prospered with him and his instruments that afterwrought for themselues, Chronicles largely report, though not apply, andsome parcel of their punishment yet vnpaid, I doe not doubt but will beerequired of their posteritie.

  To go forward with my storie of the ouerthrowe of that vsurper _IohnLeiden_, he and all his armie (as I saide before) falling prostrate ontheir faces, and ferquently giuen ouer to praier, determined neuer tocease, or leaue soliciting of God, till he had shewed them from heauensome manifest miracle of successe. Note that it was a general receiuedtradition both with _I. Leiden_ and all the crue of Cnipper-dolings andMuncers, if God at anie time at their vehement outcries and clamors didnot condiscend to their requests, to raile on him and curse him to hisface, to dispute with him, and argue him of iniustice, for not beingso good as his word with them, and to vrge his many promises in thescripture against him: so that they did not serue God simply, but thathee shoulde serue their turnes, and after that tenure are many contentto serue as bondmen to saue the danger of hanging: but he that seruesGod aright, whose vpright conscience hath for his mot, _Amor est mikicausa sequendi_, I serue because I loue: he saies, _Ego te potius dominequam tua dona sequar_, He rather follow thee O Lord, for thine ownesake, than for anie couetous respect of that thou canst do for me,Christ would haue no folowers, but such as forsooke all and follow him,such as forsake all their owne desires, such as abandon all expectationsof rewarde in this world, such as neglected and contemned their liues,their wiues and children in comparison of him, and were content to takevp their crosse and folow him. These Anabaptists had not yet forsookeall and followed Christ, they had not forsooke their owne desires ofreuenge and innouation, they had not abandoned their expectation of thespoile of their enimies, they regarded their liues, they lookt aftertheir wiues & children, they tooke not vp their crosse of humilitie andfollowed him, but would crosse him, vpbraid him, and set him at naught,if he assured not by some signe their praiers and supplications._Deteriora sequuntur_, they folowed God as daring him. God heard theirpraiers, _Quod petitur poena est_, It was their speedie punishmentthat they praide for. Lo according to the summe of their impudentsupplications, a signe in the heauens appeard the glorious signe of therainbow, which agreed iust with the signe of their ensigne that was arainbowe likewise. Wherevpon assuring themselues of victorie, (_Miseriquod volunt facile credunt_) that which wretches woulde haue they easilybeleeue. With shoutes and clamours they presentlie ranne headlongon theyr well deserued confusion. Pittifull and lamentable was theirvnpittied and well performed slaughter. To see euen a Beare (whichis the most cruellest of all beastes) to too bloudily ouermatcht, anddeformedly rent in peeces by an vnconscionable number of curres, itwoulde moue compassion against kinde, and make those that beholding himat the stake yet vncoapte with, wisht him a sutable death to his vglyshape, now to recall their hard hearted wishes, and moane him sufferingas a mild beast, in comparison of the foule mouthed mastifes hisbutchers: euen such compassion dyd those ouermatcht vngratiousMunsterians obtayne of many indifferent eyes, who now thought themsuffering, to bee as sheepe brought innocent to the shambles, when asbefore they deemed them as a number of wolues vp in armes agaynst theshepheardes. The Emperyalles themselues that were theyr executioners(lyke a Father that weepes when he beates his child, yet still weepesand still beates) not without much ruth and sorrow prosecuted thatlamentable massacre, yet drumms and trumpets sounding nothing butstearne reuenge in their eares, made them so eager, that their handshad no leasure to aske counsell of theyr effeminate eyes, theyr swords,theyr pikes, theyr bils, their bows, their caleeuers flew, empierced,knockt downe, shot thorough, and ouerthrew as many men euerie minute ofthe battell, as there fais eares of corne before the sithe at one blowe,yet all theyr weapons so slaying, empiercing, knocking downe, shootingthrough, ouerthrowing, dissouleioyned not halfe so many, as the hailingthunder of their great ordenance so ordinary at euerie footstep was theimbrument of iron in bloud, that one could hardly discerne heads frombullettes, or clottered haire from mangled flesh hung with gore. Thistale must at one time or other giue vp the ghost, and as good now asstay longer, I would gladly rid my hands of it cleanly if I could tellhow, for what with talking of coblers, & tinkers, & roapemakers, andbotchers, and durt-daubers, the marke is cleane gone out of my musesmouth, and I am as it were more than dunsified twixt divinitie andpoetrie. What is there more as touching this tragedie that you would beresolued of? saie quickly, for now my pen is got vpon his feet again:how _I. Leiden_ dide, is y it? he dide like a dog, he was hanged and thehalter paid for. For his companions, do they trouble you? I can tel youthey troubled some men before, for they were all kild, and none escapt,no not so much as one to tel the tale of the rainbow. Heare what it isto be Anabaptists, to bee puritans, to be villaines, you may be countedilluminate botchers for a while, but your end wil be Good people prayfor me.

  With the tragicall catastrophe of this munsterian conflict, did Icashier the new vocation of my caualiership. There was no more honorablewars in christendome then towards, wherefore after I had learned tobe halfe an houre in bidding a man _boniure_ in germane sunonimas, Itrauelled along the cuntrie towards England as fast as I could. Whatwith wagons & bare tentoes hauing attained to Middleborough (good Lordsee the changing chances of vs knight arrant infants) I met with theright honourable Lord _Henrie Howard_ Earle of Surrey my late master,Jesu I was perswaded.

  I shoulde not be more glad to see heauen than I was to see him, O it wasa right noble Lord, liberalitie itselfe, (if in this yron age there wereanie such creature as liberality left on the earth) a prince in contentbecause a Poet without peere. Destinie neuer defames her selfe butwhen she lets an excellent poet die: if there bee anie sparke of Adamsparadized perfection yet emberd vp in the breastes of mortall men,certainely God hath bestowed that his perfectest image on poets. Nonecome so neere to God in wit, none more contemne the world, _vatis auarusnon temere est animus, sayth Horace, versus amat, hoc studet vnurn_.Seldom haue you seene anie Poet possessed with auarice, onely verses heloues, nothing else he delights in: and as they contemne the world, socontrarily of the mechanicall worlde are none more contemned. Despisedthey are of the worlde, because they are not of the world: theirthoughts are exalted aboue the worlde of ignorance and all earthlyconceits.

  As sweet angelicall queristers they are continually conuersant in theheauen of artes, heauen it selfe is but the highest height of knowledge,he that knowes himselfe & all things else, knowes the means to behappie: happy, thrice happie are they whome God hath doubled his spiritevppon, and giuen a double soule vnto to be Poets. My heroicall masterexceeded in this supernaturall kinde of wit, hee entertained no grosseearthly spirite of auarice, nor weake womanly spirit of pusillanimityand feare that are fained to be of the water, but admirable, airie, andfirie spirites, full of freedome, magnanimitie and bountihood. Let menot speake anie more of his accomplishments, for feare I spend al myspirits in praising him and leaue my selfe no vigor of wit, or effectesof a soule to goe forward with my history. Hauing thus met him I so muchadored, no interpleading was there of opposite occasions, but backe Imust returne and beare halfe stakes with him in the lotterie oftrauell. I was not altogether vnwilling to walke along with such a goodpurse-bearer, yet musing what changeable humor had so
sodainly seducedhim from his natiue soyle to seeke out needlesse perils in these partsbeyond sea, one night verie boldly I demaunded of him the reason thatmoued him thereto.

  Ah quoth he, my little Page, full little canst thou perceiue howe farremetamorphozed I am from my selfe, since I last sawe thee. There isa little God called Loue, that will not bee worshipt of anie leadenbraines, one that proclaimes himselfe sole king and Emperour of pearcingeyes and chiefe soueraigtie of softe heartes, hee it is that exercisinghis empire in my eyes, hath exorcized and cleane coniured me from mycontent. Thou knowest stately _Geraldine_, too stately I feare for me todoe homage to her statue or shrine, she it is that is come out of Italyto bewitch all the wise men of England, vpon Queene _Katherine Dowager_shee waites, that hath a dowrie of beautie sufficient to make her wooedof the greatest kings in christendome. Her high exalted sunne beameshaue set the phenix neast of my breast on fire, and I my selfe hauebrought Arabian