Should Have Been Her Child

by Stella Bagwell

  “Good. Then get the revolver and keep it in your hands until we get there.”

  “I will,” she promised. “Just please hurry! I’m so afraid for Jess.”

  Minutes later a rescue helicopter circled once, then twice and finally came to land on a flat shelf of ground above the arroyo. Immediately, a team of paramedics armed with portable equipment started down the steep wall of the wash.

  When the four of them reached the spot where she sat close to Jess’s side, one of the men said, “We’ll take it from here, Miss.”

  “He needs—”

  “We’re trained paramedics, Miss. You’ll be helping him more by getting out of the way and letting us do our jobs.”

  Before she could tell them she was a doctor, they were lifting Jess away from her and laying him out on a stretcher.

  “Be careful! He has a concussion!” she warned as she pushed her stiff form to her feet.

  The paramedics ignored her and she groaned with frustration.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they let you fly back to the hospital with him.”

  Victoria whirled toward the deep male voice and found Deputy Redwing standing directly behind her. With a great sigh, she wearily pushed a hand through her disheveled hair.

  “Thank you,” she said gratefully, then motioned toward the ground several feet above their heads. “Did you notice if my mare is still up there?”

  Glad to give her that much good news, he smiled. “She’s still tied to the pine. I’ll take care of her for you.”

  “Just take her saddle off and slap her on the rump,” Victoria told him. “She’ll go back home on her own.”

  “What about the saddle?”

  “Just leave the saddle there under the pine. Some of the hands will come after it later.”

  As soon as the words were out, she swayed on her feet and the deputy grabbed her arm to steady her.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  Finding an inner strength she didn’t know she possessed, Victoria pulled herself together and nodded at the lawman. “I’ll be fine. It’s Jess that I’m worried about.”

  Deputy Redwing glanced over to where the paramedics were attaching an IV drip to Jess’s arm. “How is he?”

  Struggling to keep from breaking down in sobs, she swallowed hard and wiped a hand over her face. “He hasn’t regained consciousness since the fall.”

  Concern plowed furrows in the deputy’s forehead. “Why is that? Has he gone into shock?”

  As her gaze went back to Jess and the paramedics, she was swamped with helplessness and deep anger. How could someone be so evil as to want to kill Jess?

  “No. I don’t think so,” she answered Redwing’s question. “At least, not yet. And now that medications have been started, I don’t believe shock will be a problem. It’s the trauma to his head. Apparently he whammed it pretty hard.”

  Releasing his hold on her arm, he said, “He’ll wake up, Ms. Ketchum. Jess’s head is the hardest part about him.”

  She tried to smile at his words of encouragement, but her lips felt frozen. Maybe she was going into shock herself. The idea of losing Jess was certainly more than she could bear right now.

  “I pray that you’re right, Deputy Redwing.”

  He patted her shoulder. “Do you think you can climb out of here? They’ll be loading Jess in the helicopter soon.”

  She pulled on her hat and straightened the remnants of her tattered blouse. “Yes, I’ll make it. Just don’t let them leave without me.”

  “Has there been any change?”

  Victoria glanced up from her vigil at Jess’s bedside to see that Ross had entered the hospital room. Last night her brother had been waiting at the emergency room to meet them, but later after they’d gotten Jess settled and stabilized, he’d gone back to the ranch to catch some sleep. She was glad he was back. She’d never felt so lost or alone in her whole life.

  “Not that I can tell,” she said wearily. “I’m still waiting to hear if Doctor Wallis plans to run another brain scan. The last one didn’t show any evidence of damage to his brain. But…” her voice trailed away on a worried note.

  Ross came to stand next to his sister, who was sitting in the same plastic chair she’d been in since Jess had been brought into the room.

  “The doctor hasn’t been around this morning?” he asked.

  She grimaced as she glanced from her brother to the faint gray light filtering through the slatted blinds on the window. It was almost daylight. Hours had passed since Jess’s lifeless body had been carried out of the arroyo, and though his vital signs were stable, he hadn’t lifted one eyelid or made any sound. His continued state of unconsciousness frightened her through and through.

  “No. Doctors have a habit of disappearing when you need them the most.”

  Ross smiled at her dry humor. “I’m sure that’s what most of your patients say.” He looked down at her weary face. “Speaking of patients, what about your clinic? You can’t go in today. You’re dead on your feet.”

  “Even if I were rested, I wouldn’t leave Jess. Dr. Martinez will fill in for me.”

  Her brother leveled a stern look on her. “What you need to be doing is going home to the ranch and going to bed. You’ve been here all night, Victoria. You’ve got to get some rest.”

  Shaking her head, she rose to her feet and walked over to the room’s single picture window and turned open the blinds. Staring out at the gray parking lot of the hospital, she said, “I can’t leave. Not until I know he’s going to be all right.”

  Ross was about to respond to her argument when the door swished open and a young nurse walked into the room.

  “Looks like our patient is still sleeping,” she said.

  Victoria arched a brow at the name tag pinned to the woman’s scrub top. “He’s not sleeping, Tanya. He’s unconscious.”

  The nurse glanced at her sharply before she placed a metal clipboard on the nightstand. For the next few minutes the room was quiet as she monitored the drip on Jess’s IV, then checked his vital signs and recorded them in the medical chart.

  When she started toward the door without a word, Victoria stepped in her path. “Let me see that, please.”

  The nurse looked incredulous. “What?”

  Victoria stretched out her hand. “Jess’s chart. Let me see it.”

  “I’m sorry, but that’s against regulations—”

  “Hang the regulations! I’m a doctor. An M.D. right here in Aztec!” Victoria practically shouted.

  Wide-eyed, the nurse shook her head. “But—but you’re not Mr. Hastings’s attending physician,” she argued.

  Victoria was suddenly furious. “I’ve been waiting here for hours to hear if the neurologist is going to run another scan on Jess’s brain. Now you come in here and behave as though his vital signs are supposed to be a secret! Give me—”

  The young nurse pressed the clipboard securely against her chest. “Are you a relative of Mr. Hastings?”

  “No.”

  “Then if you’re not his physician and you’re not a relative, you really don’t have a right—”

  “Look, I’m Mr. Hastings’s—” Victoria paused and her face suddenly flamed as she realized the only word for it was lover. And in Jess’s opinion, she wasn’t even that much. She was just a sex partner. No more. No less.

  Ross quickly moved across the room and stepped between the two women. “Uh, sorry, nurse. My sister is very upset. You see, she’s in love with Mr. Hastings. She’s concerned about his welfare.”

  Hearing her feelings for Jess expressed out loud acted like a slap to her runaway nerves. She quickly apologized to the nurse, then walked over to the window where she wearily pressed a hand against her burning eyes. Behind her she could hear Ross doing his best to mollify the indignant nurse.

  Once the door swished closed behind the young woman, Ross turned to his sister. “Victoria, what in hell is wrong with you? You know better—”

  Her emotions tied in knot
s, Victoria whirled on him. “Yes, I know better! But you don’t understand what this has been like for me, Ross. Someone tried to kill Jess! Right on our own property!” Her troubled gaze focused on Jess’s silent form. “And now I don’t know if Jess is going to live or die. I might not ever hear his voice again. He might—”

  “Stop it!” Ross ordered as he pulled her against his broad chest and patted her back. “You’ve got to get a grip on yourself, sis. If you keep going at this rate, you’re going to have a mental breakdown.”

  Victoria shuddered as she tried to get control of her scattered nerves. “Oh Ross, this whole thing with the murder is so unbelievable. And then to see Jess shot before my very eyes!”

  “Damn it, Victoria, why did you two go out there anyway?”

  Rearing her head back, she gazed up at her brother’s frustrated face. “To try to find something—anything that might help him track the killer.”

  “Someone must have followed you,” he said grimly.

  She shivered at the thought. “We weren’t aware that anyone was around,” she told him. “We’d been out there for a long time, searching up and down the arroyo. We’d decided to go up top and while we were up there Jess said—”

  She broke off as she suddenly remembered the way he’d looked before the shot rang out. He’d been smiling at her. Really smiling.

  “Jess said what?” Ross urged her to go on.

  Shaking her head, she swallowed at the lump of tears burning her throat. “That he wanted to talk to me about something. So we got off our horses and that’s when the shooting happened. Now I might not ever know what he was going to say!”

  Ross soberly studied his sister’s face. “Not too long ago you swore to me that you’d gotten over Jess Hastings. But I was right when I told the nurse you were in love with him. Wasn’t I?”

  She nodded sadly. “For a long time I tried to convince myself I was over Jess. But he came back and the moment I saw him it was like nothing had ever changed,” she whispered hoarsely.

  Ross’s expression was both sorrowful and perplexed. “I can’t imagine what it must feel like to love someone that much.”

  “Oh Ross, I have money and a successful medical practice. But none of it means anything without Jess. He’s all I’ve ever needed or wanted in life.”

  Regret spilled through her and stained her heart with bleakness. Why hadn’t she told Jess all that, she asked herself. Why had she held back and tried to pretend she wasn’t dying inside without him? Now it might be too late.

  Ross patted her cheek. “For what it’s worth, Jess is a tough SOB. If anybody can pull out of this, he can.”

  Victoria’s gaze went over to the object of their discussion and she was suddenly shocked to see Jess staring straight at the two of them.

  “As soon as I get out of this bed, Ketchum, I’ll give you a taste of just how tough.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  The groggily spoken words were the most beautiful sound Victoria had ever heard.

  “Jess! Oh thank God, you’re awake!” Victoria exclaimed as she rushed to his bedside.

  Following at a slower pace, Ross stood beside his sister and grinned sheepishly at the undersheriff. “That part about the SOB was meant in a nice kind of way, Jess.”

  Jess tried to muster up a grin, but all he could manage was to lift one corner of his lips. “I meant what I said in a nice kind of way, too.”

  Weakly, he motioned to the insulated pitcher sitting on a nearby portable table. “Is that water? My throat feels like I’ve been trying to swallow a handful of cotton balls.”

  Victoria moved around the bed and poured a plastic glass full of water, then held it carefully to his lips. He drank thirstily, all the while his gray eyes were focused on Victoria’s face.

  “What happened?” he asked once she set the glass aside and he’d regained his breath.

  Ross cast a proud glance at his sister. “Victoria saved your life. That’s what happened.”

  Ignoring her brother’s comment, Victoria touched a hand to Jess’s warm forehead. “You don’t remember?”

  A frown furrowed his brow as he tried to put the wheels of his memory into motion. “I remember going after Chito and then I heard a loud noise like a shot.”

  Her gaze went to his heavily bandaged shoulder and his eyes dawned with the shock and realization of what she was telling him.

  “I’m afraid you’re right, Jess,” she said gently. “There was a shot. I’m not sure from which direction. I do know it was loud. And from the damage the bullet caused to your shoulder, I’d say it had to have been fired from a rifle.”

  He drew in a long, ragged breath and let it out. “I wonder who the hell wants me dead?”

  “Don’t think about it,” she said softly. “Sheriff Perez and Deputy Redwing are working on that question right now. So all you need to do is concentrate on getting well.”

  With a smile of relief, she glanced over to Ross. “Would you go down to the nurses’ station and let them know Jess is awake?”

  Grinning broadly, he headed toward the door. “Sure, sis. I’ve been trying to think of a reason to introduce myself to the little redhead down there. You just gave me a good one.”

  Rolling her eyes, she asked, “Since when did you need a reason?”

  Waving away her question, Ross made a quick exit from the room and Victoria turned her full attention back to Jess. He seemed to be watching her with a hunger she’d never seen before and she wondered if the knock on his head had done something to his thinking.

  “How does your head feel?” she asked.

  A tight grimace came over his face as his hand came up to touch the bandage near his left temple. “It hurts like hell. What happened to it? Was I shot twice?”

  “No. You fell backward into the ravine. Your head must have hit a rock.”

  Groaning with disbelief, he closed his eyes. “Dear God, what happened out there anyway? Were you shot at, too?”

  Except for the shadow of beard along his chin and jaw, his face was so pale. Just seeing him in such a vulnerable condition made her heart ache to hold him, to take away his pain.

  “No. After you fell, there were no more shots.”

  “You could have been killed, Victoria,” he gently chastised. “You should have gotten on Dixie and hightailed it out of there.”

  His eyes flew open and settled soberly on her face. Even now, it scared the hell out of him to think of her out there on that lonely range, a sitting target for the gunman. Just knowing she’d put her life in danger in order to save his, humbled Jess like nothing ever had. “Ross said you saved my life.”

  Uncomfortable with the idea of being labeled a heroine, Victoria’s gaze fell to the white sheet covering his chest. “Ross is exaggerating. All I did was tend your wounds as best I could. I didn’t have much to work with.”

  His gray eyes drifted to her shirt where the bottom half had been ripped away for bandages. “I see,” he said wryly.

  Blushing, she glanced down to where part of her midriff was exposed. At the same time, she touched a hand to her tangled hair. “I haven’t had a chance to go home and change. I must look a real mess.”

  “You look like an angel to me,” he said in a voice rough with emotion.

  Lifting her eyes to his, she tried to smile, but it was hard to do with tears threatening to overtake her.

  “How long have you been here?” he asked.

  She glanced toward the window where the full light of morning was now streaming through the blinds. “All night.”

  “My grandparents and Katrina—”

  “Were here,” she interrupted. “I sent them home with a promise I would call them as soon as you woke up. I guess I should do that now.”

  She reached for the phone on the nightstand, but Jess caught her hand midway.

  “Later,” he said.

  Her brows lifted. “They’re very worried about you, Jess.”

  “You can call them in a few minutes,” he promi
sed, then gestured toward the bedrail separating the two of them. “Can you lower this damn thing?”

  She put down the metal rail while eyeing him guardedly. “If you’re having ideas of getting up, forget them. You’re much too weak.”

  The sudden glint in his eyes said he’d like to prove her wrong. In more ways than just standing on his feet.

  “I’m not going to try that. Not yet anyway,” he told her, then patted the tiny space of empty mattress at his side. “Come here and sit. I want you close to me.”

  She regarded him skeptically. “I’ve already had a squabble with your nurse. If the doctor comes in here and finds me on your bed, we’ll have him to deal with.”

  Jess took her by the hand and pulled her down beside him. “The only doctor I want to deal with is this one,” he said huskily.

  She groaned as her heart began to melt at his touch. “Jess, if you’re—”

  “I’m trying to talk to you,” he interrupted. “That was my intention last night at the arroyo, but the gunfire stopped me.”

  “And nearly killed you in the process!” she exclaimed.

  His features hardened with determination. “The coward who tried to dry gulch me is going to get his due, Victoria. I’m going to see to that.”

  Her resolve to be cool and collected in front of him crumpled and tears began to trickle down her face. “Oh Jess, I thought—when I saw you lying at the bottom of the arroyo—I was so afraid you were dead!”

  Pain from his shoulder caused him to wince as he lifted a hand to her wet cheek. “I don’t know why you would care,” he said, his gruff voice filled with self-disgust. “I’ve been a bastard to you.”

  Shock widened her eyes and parted her lips. “No! Jess—”

  He shook his head as regret marred his features. “You know it’s true, Tori. All those years ago—I should have never forced you to choose between me and Tucker. It was wrong—selfish of me. I—”

  She reached for his hands and clutched them tight. “Oh Jess, it wasn’t wrong. You wanted to be your own man. I should have respected that. I should have gone with you to Texas.”

  A look of awe came over his face. “I think you actually mean that.”