The Elder Mother

by Carrie Whitethorne

  I continued to back away, willing her to get up. I allowed every emotion to flow freely from me in the desperate hope she would feel me and come to. To my relief, her foot twitched, and I fought to control my response. Instead of rushing to her, I palmed a knife, turned, and ran.

  He followed, chuckling in my wake. “I won’t kill you, Druid. I shall merely incapacitate you, and make you watch.”

  I had to reach her. I had to get her up. I searched for a way around him as I saw the end of the chamber looming ahead. I daren’t throw a knife with Seren behind him. If he dodged, if it hit her…no, that wasn’t worth the risk. I would just have to skirt around and hope he didn’t manage to kill me before she was able to kill him.

  “Then, I’ll feed you to my children,” he went on. “I must say, I’m pleased she’s so fond of them.”

  I met his cold, black eyes and growled, “You won’t touch her. She’ll never join you.”

  “We’ll see.”

  He rushed me, sharp talons appearing at the ends of his fingers, swiping at me in unrelenting attacks. I countered with short thrusts of a knife, but he was so fast, he dodged them all. Gripping a second in my other hand, I propelled myself forward, embedding both knives in his chest before releasing them and twisting away. Reaching for the daggers in his neck, I took firm hold and tugged them free. Whether from the action or the magical coating Seren had placed on the knives, I couldn't tell, but he grunted in pain. I could use that to my advantage.

  With his attention momentarily diverted, I dashed to Seren as she rolled onto her side, retching.

  “Seren!” I bellowed as I ran, the sound of my voice pulling her into full consciousness.

  I’d almost reached her when I came to an abrupt halt. Heat spread from the centre of my chest outward. Heat and burning, itching pain. I felt myself fall, and understood what had happened. I’d let my guard down out of concern for her and paid for it.

  Seren screamed my name as she scrambled to reach me, to kneel at my side as I hit the ground.

  I felt her hands on me, felt her hot tears on my neck as she sobbed, her power surging into the gaping hole in my breastbone as she desperately tried to save me. I wanted to tell her not to, tell her to deal with him, but I couldn’t speak. The pain was so encompassing, I was unable to move at all. I heard Kern’s triumphant chuckle as my vision faded, and I became more aware of the ground beneath me. The rough, dry earth tainted with the underlying scent of blood and fear. I heard her begging me not to leave her, but was unable to respond at all as my life ebbed away, pouring from the hole punched through my body and onto the ground beneath me…

  I felt her, then. Her emotion, her fury, her power. She poured everything into me as she begged The Mother to let me live. To spare me. The heat took over, the pain, the sounds, and smells all disappeared, time and life itself all stopped…

  I entered a void. A soundless, dark void, and I could find no way out of it. She had tried, and failed; I was certain. My body was gone. I could feel nothing. Only my consciousness remained. Or what I assumed was my consciousness. It was hard to tell.

  I was weightless.

  I was nothing.

  She was gone.

  It occurred to me that I should hold on to whatever memories I could as I passed. I searched for something, anything, but all I could think of was her. Begging The Mother to keep me there. Just like the first time, in the house, when she’d begged me not to leave her there alone. She thought she needed me. I knew I needed her. Every chance missed. Every word not spoken. All of it wasted. She was alone again. She would be taken back to that damned tree and be locked away again. The fury that roiled in me was consuming. It was something. I was something, to her at least…

  I had feeling.

  I had form.

  I was not dying.

  I would not leave her.

  I clenched a fist that I could now feel again. I sucked in a breath, filling lungs I hadn’t possessed moments before.

  And I vomited. With each heave, I felt myself become stronger, rolling onto my front, my vision returned, and I gazed at the pool of black spreading before me. I assumed it was blood and turned my head away, looking to her.

  She rose, apparently satisfied that I was recovering, and I rolled onto my back as she approached Kern. I wanted to shout a warning, to tell her to run the other way, but I was too busy sucking in precious air to speak. Instead, I braved raising a hand to my chest and found my tunic torn. I looked down to see my skin, whole and clean, peeking through the tattered leather, completely healed. By Seren’s will, or The Mother’s, I didn’t know, but my strength was returning, and she needed me. I pushed myself to my feet and followed. She wouldn’t face him alone. I wouldn’t leave her.

  She didn’t bother to hide her fury. Even I felt the drop in my stomach, the fear as she spread her arms wide. Kern quaked.

  “That doesn’t work on me now, Kern. She gave me immunity from your evil,” I heard her growl through gritted teeth, light pulsing from her open palms. “I am not the human girl you killed. Nothing you can do can hurt me.”

  He backed away, eyes fixed on hers. I took the opportunity and threw three of Seren’s magical knives. Whatever the first two had done, this fuelled the fire, and he doubled over, tugging it from his body. Dropping it at his feet, he hissed, pressing a hand to the wound it left behind before removing another.

  Seren was close; she had him cornered, and I was right behind her. She gave a tinkling laugh as he straightened, squaring his shoulders in defiance. I relaxed, one short burst and he was dead. She had him.

  Out of nowhere, he spun, landing his boot in the side of her head. She didn’t falter, taking the strike before countering, power filling her, green light flashing in her eyes as she spun and kicked and slashed.

  Kern laughed, fighting her head on. “I refuse to go back, Seren,” he growled, swiping at her face with his black talons. “I was freed. I no longer serve him.”

  Seren made no reply as I edged around them, feeling a weight at my back as I drew level with Kern. I drew the sword she had given me and thrust forward, the magical blade slicing cleanly through flesh and bone. I buried it in him, the tip glinting, visible through his sternum.

  He thrashed and kicked, trying to dislodge the sword, but it was too deeply embedded in his body, and whatever magic the blade held, keeping him from moving an inch.

  Panting with the effort, I held him as Seren stepped forward.

  She smiled, taking his upturned face in her hands, and he fell to his knees at her touch. I released the sword, leaving it in his back as she stepped closer, one hand still cupping a cheek and she looked deep into his black, depthless eyes.

  Kern looked away, staring down at his hands as they blackened and began to crumble.

  “I’m not sorry, Kern.”

  Seren walked away, unwilling to watch his demise. I watched. I grinned as the demon disintegrated before me, as if a fire raged, consuming him from the inside out. When nothing but ash remained, I retrieved our weapons and followed Seren up.

  Twenty-Six

  Seren

  I had no desire to watch. I was too exhausted and still had work to do. I berated myself as I walked up the twisting slope. That was the second time he’d almost died because of me. Twice I’d let him down. Thrice, if I included the time I left the apartment. More if I counted my failings up to now. All I had done since I’d been spewed from that tree is fail. I’d repeatedly let people down. My people. Too many had died because of me and my weakness.

  I made my way back to the room we’d found the girls in, where the infant demons remained, awaiting me. Although only a short time had passed since I left that room, nothing prepared me for the scent that again hit me as I crossed the threshold: death and decay, blood, and fear. I made my way to the nearest of the still burning fires and tried to relax. With the girls gone, there were no emotions but my own to contend with, and they were enough. The guilt of what had happened to Elian, again, that all the bodies li
ttering this room were here because of me. I could hear the grunts and gurgles of the tiny demons that fed from the lifeless husks that were their mothers and closed my eyes against it. I would have covered my ears, but the sound would remain in my memory. That sound would haunt me forever.

  I tried to settle my nerves, fighting to strengthen my resolve as I considered the task ahead of me. The more I tried, the harder it was, and I bunched my shaking hands into fists at my sides. Despite the warmth of the fire, a chill settled over me and my eyes burned with tears as I considered the action I must take.

  Then he was there. His warm, gentle arms circling me, pulling me into his body. He felt me trembling and held me, I don’t know how long for, his lips pressed against my hair, his hand stroking down my back.

  “Let Avalon handle it.”

  I shook my head.

  “You’ve done your job. He’s dead. They’re all dead. Let Avalon handle it.”

  I shook my head again.

  He fell silent and held me. I concentrated on the crackle of the flames, on the sound of his heart beating steadily in his chest, the heart that had almost stopped forever. Then I pulled away.

  “Elian, you have to go.”

  He ground his teeth. Scanning the room.

  “Elian, they won’t harm me. Please. These…they’re half-human. It’s different magic. I can’t choose who lives or dies down here. I need you to be safely away. Bring the car, I’ll meet you at the warehouse.”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he kissed me and turned away. I watched him leave. Watched him walk away from me, one more time. I understood why he struggled, I’d begged him not to. Almost every time he had left me, I’d been in danger within minutes and he couldn’t stand it. Knowing now that I could be harmed, and he couldn’t save me as I saved him. Not like that.

  When he was out of my line of sight, I turned my gaze back into the flames and waited. He had to be well away. What I was about to do could block his escape from the whole area and I couldn’t risk any harm coming to him. Not now. So, I waited.

  I tried to work out where I was. Retracing my steps down here, to work out where the river was. It felt like hours that I stood there in silence, listening to the fire, to the sounds in that room. The shuffling and sucking, the whimpers and the gurgles. Bile rose in my throat and I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t have the nerve.

  I left the fire, its light and warmth, and walked slowly into the centre of the room. I scanned them. Looked at each of the angelic faces peering at me as they fed from the girls that were once their mothers. Some were still cradled, others tucked in against them as though they’d crawled to them for comfort, not blood.

  Elian was right. They were monsters. However tiny, however beautiful. They were death incarnate. I laughed at the irony and closed my eyes.

  I felt the light before it was visible through my eyelids. I squeezed them tighter as the light became heat and drove it outwards. I heard their screams of terror, not one of them a sound that a human could have made. The beast in them reacting to its destruction. Bile rose again, and I let it spill. Despite knowing I had to do it, how dangerous they would become if allowed to walk the earth, I still could not shake the feeling that I was no better than Kern.

  My skin clammy with sweat, my chest heaving as I panted, and with tears lining my cheeks, I turned my back on them and opened my eyes. The smell of death was stronger now. So strong that I could taste it on the tip of my tongue. I snapped my mouth tightly closed and strode to the exit. The river would wash this place clean.

  With a thought, the earthen wall cracked. I heard the hiss of disturbed earth as it trickled to the ground, heard the groan as the crack spread further and further out toward the passing river. Up to the foundations of the Steelworks above. I pushed that crack until it found the water, until I heard the faint trickle as the river found its way down. The trickle grew as the weight of the water forced the crack wider, as the force of the ancient waterway washed, split, and battered the walls. The room would flood, a watery grave for the poor women I’d failed to save, and the abominations they’d been forced to bear. I walked out of that room with my head down, and tears streaming down my face.

  The earth shook as I climbed, the disturbance so deep it was sending tremors out in short blasts. The movement shook me, but I didn’t stumble. The closer I got to the surface, the closer I got to him, the surer my steps became. When I got to him, I’d be alright. When I knew that he was safely away from there, I would feel safe. I didn’t think of what came after. Refused to. Because they would come for me, and I would have to go. My actions here were their signal. My work was done. I would have time to rest and eat and then they would come.

  I came to the hole in the wall of the building, the hole we’d first entered through, and gave the building one last, sweeping glance as the earth shook again and the roof fell in somewhere far off to the right. Happy to leave the place, happy for it to fall in on itself, never to be accessed again, I shifted and ran to him.

  Twenty-Seven

  Elian

  I didn’t know what to say to her. I didn’t have anything to say that could help, so I said nothing, and I held her until she sent me away again. I left her there, in that room of death and destruction. I left her alone.

  I didn’t look back until I was in the next room. I could just make her out by the fire, small and defeated. Every muscle in my body screamed at me to go back, to drag her out of there, but I didn’t. Instead, I did as she’d instructed: I shifted, and I ran.

  It wasn’t until I’d reached the car that the earth shook. I took a few steps away, turning to look at the river and saw the waters churn and eddy under her influence. It was then that I realised that she was flooding the underground chambers. The bodies would never be found. I glanced over to the steelworks and saw a section of the wall collapse. She was bringing it down.

  Fear gripped me, and I asked myself what I would do if she didn’t get out. If I lost her.

  Before I did something stupid, I got into the car and sped to our agreed meeting point.

  Thirty minutes passed since I’d left her. Thirty long, agonising minutes of not knowing if she was safe. If she was coming back.

  I stared over to the steelworks. The squeal of the steel frame in the old building told me it was coming down, the following crash as it fell was like thunder. Still she wasn’t back. I leaned on the car and watched. I listened and felt the earth quake beneath me in response to what she had set in motion down there. I waited, and I hoped she would come to me, unwilling to consider the possibility that she’d left me, or worse. I watched, and I waited. Sirens in the distance suggested the alarm had been sounded. The emergency services arrived, blue lights strobing over the waste ground. The building couldn’t be saved. It couldn’t be made safe.

  In the flashing light, the dark expanse of the waste ground was lit up, revealing the faintest fleck of white, waving above the grass.

  I grinned.

  “Well, that’s another one you kept quiet, foxy,” I said as she leapt up on the bonnet beside me.

  She was stunning. Black with a white tipped tail, her coat shone in the watery light of the moon. Her eyes gleamed, still green, as she looked up at me with a vulpine grin. I ran my hand over her back, then turned and looked out to the blue flashing lights in the distance. “You cleaned up then?”

  I heard her huff a breath from her muzzle and watched as she gracefully leapt down, disappearing around the side of the car. I followed.

  “Want to go home?”

  She circled by the door, so I opened it and watched her jump inside. One word sat on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t tell her how perfect she was. I could barely speak at all. Instead, I closed her door, walked to my own, and drove away from the steelworks, the river, and the warehouse, hoping never to see them again.

  She’d curled up on the seat and gone straight to sleep as I drove us home. When we reached the apartment, I sat for a moment and watched her until
she woke up. Stretching out her back, she yawned then cocked her head, waiting for me to open my door.

  “Aren’t you shifting back?” I asked, obliging.

  She leapt over me, trotting to the foyer to look at me expectantly. I shook my head, smiling, and let her in, following her up the stairs.

  Again, she waited for the door to open, and when I opened it, she casually trotted inside, heading straight for the sofa, and curling up to sleep.

  I joined, sitting beside her. I reached out, resting my hand on her shoulder, stroking her fur, and burying my fingers deep into the plush coat, wondering how I would get through the next twenty-four hours. I knew what was coming. I knew what I wanted. But I also knew it wasn’t about me or what I wanted. It was about what Seren needed, and right then, she needed to hide while she processed everything that had happened. But at the same time, she needed someone; she needed me.

  I was content to be at her side, whatever form she took.

  I couldn’t let her go without telling her, but knew I could never find the words. She’d said she didn’t want to leave, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have to.

  I needed her. It was a physical, aching need for her that would consume me if she left. I knew I could never tell her that, would never lay that on her when she shouldered such a burden already. What she’d had to do was destroying her. I wouldn’t add to her guilt.

  She stretched out, and I squeezed into the space behind her. I needed some sleep before we faced the Fae the next day. So, we slept there: her tucked into my chest, my hand on her side, together for what I was sure was the last time.

  Twenty-Eight

  Seren

  His hand was warm on my body, his breath soft against my ear, as he slept beside me and I lay perfectly still, unwilling to disturb him. The room was bright, and I realised it was well after noon. While I knew I was running out of time, I didn’t want to leave the comfort of his touch. I felt safe there. I felt at home with him.