WindSwept Narrows: #13 Charity, Faith & Hope
Page 19
“Do you think you’re being fair to yourself or to Hope that you’ve created a mythical deceased wife that she can’t possibly compete with?” Harriet asked carefully. “Have you told Hope the truth about your first marriage?”
“We haven’t got that far yet,” he admitted with a sigh. “I think it’s why I came to find someone to talk to first.”
“Are you afraid of making the same mistake again? With another relationship…”
“I think four years ago I was different. It wasn’t all Maggie, I don’t mean to imply that at all. I was working constantly and…and never bothered to realize just how much of me she needed,” Devon returned to the chair. “I know I don’t want to lose a chance to be happy because I’m an idiot.”
“If you’re partners, friends…you need each other,” Harriet said carefully. “Like it or not, you can’t put either a child or partner on a shelf. It would become like a neglected plant left without light or water…until you felt it wanted some attention. Are you so busy there isn’t room in your life for another person?”
“I don’t want to be,” was the honest answer. “The…I met Hope because of a hospice I’m involved in setting up. It’s being done with a lot of the money Maggie left to me and one of the floors will be named in her honor. It seemed the right thing in the beginning…a good use of the money. But now the reason behind it…” Devon shook his head slowly.
“Guilt or fraud?” Harriet guessed with a little smile.
“Both…hell, I don’t know…I still believe it’s the right use of the money. I set up a college fund for Mina but the rest of it…I don’t want it,” he blurted out.
“I’m going to be selfish and say it’s a very good use of the funds,” she said simply. “I’ve read about the project and it’s way past time we – as occupants – began making things happen that our government doesn’t have the money for. That said…”
“I saw people…met people…watched what Maggie went through with money…I remember thinking that it was wrong for some to be…sleeping in their cars just to be close to someone in treatment,” Devon exhaled at the same time a low timer sounded.
“How about we pick up again on Friday at one? Think about this…Maggie might have been the catalyst for why you’ve begun this project, Devon. Is that a bad thing? And why is it impossible to have honest memories and public memories? Who does it harm?”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Hope scowled at the pair of them returning her glare.
“You…our BFF…are hereby accused of keeping secrets,” Faith accused with a light bang of the spoon of a gavel.
Hope groaned and took a long slurp on her drink.
“Phone broken?” Charity asked sweetly.
“Aright, alright…” Hope drew in a long breath and told them what happened. Quickly and quietly, looking around the whole time. The glares were replaced with stunned disbelief, both women sitting back and staring at her like she’d lost her mind.
“Stop looking at me like that!” Hope hissed, one hand up and a finger waggling at them both.
“You…”
“A frying pan?” Faith cleared her throat.
“It was the only thing I could find!” She growled.
“And he…” Charity’s hands rolled over and over one another, her palm up when she saw the color drain from Hope. “Breathe…sorry…alright…won’t mention it again.”
“Thank you,” she whispered with a swallow.
“Any idea why he wanted to take Mina?” Charity asked quietly. “I can’t…you must have been terrified, Hope.”
“It didn’t…it didn’t bother me until he…you know…rolled down the stairs…it was a horrid crunch,” she shuddered, wrapping two hands around the icy drink. “It’s something to do with a hotel Devon is trying to turn into a hospice.”
“A…” Faith straightened up, vision shooting to Charity.
“Devon is the one working with the non-profit,” Charity groaned, her hands covering her eyes. “Oh, god…you guys…I am so sorry about this! It’s all my fault…”
“It is not, so don’t go there,” Faith told her with a growl and grabbing one of her hands.
“This is the hotel you’re selling,” Hope looked from one nod to the other. “Whoa…things do find a way of becoming circular. And Faith is right…it isn’t you, it’s…idiot relatives. We’re okay.”
“Up till this part now…I think you did great,” Faith told her with a nod.
“Oh god, I was a wreck,” Hope breathed, grateful for her friends to finally talk to. “I didn’t know…I didn’t want to…to lose a chance at this job and…it’s a really nice bedroom and my own private bathroom!”
“So people believe you’re Mrs. Devon Alexander,” Charity lifted a slice of melon and bit down, her head shaking.
Faith shrugged, looking from one to the other. “He’s behaving like a gentleman…and you’ve got that little cutie to play with…I’m not sure it’s a bad thing, Hope. I know we were trying to get us all together in an apartment…but Charity’s got Nico now and I’m living with Dominic…”
“Does he come with baggage?” Charity asked carefully.
“I don’t know…I don’t know if I want to…think about him that way…”
“Sometimes you meet a guy who doesn’t give you a choice,” Faith said softly. “And it’s not really a bad thing, either…it doesn’t have to be like your parents, Hope…”
“Or mine…we can change the outcome because we know what we don’t want in a relationship,” Charity told her firmly. “The first step is to get him talking…just about stuff…Nico didn’t want to talk about his injury. Just be patient…because you have things you need to share as much as he does, so you might need each other for that support.”
“He did look at you like he was interested,” Faith offered her observation with a nod. “And you’re right…his eyes do glow in the right light.” She dodged the arm Charity flung out.
“Hey, you don’t understand…” Hope leaned closer. “He does this stalking thing…I swear…”
“You two bring up werewolves one more time I’m having you both committed,” Charity told them through her laughter, cleaning up her tray and striding from the cafeteria.
“Does he do the neck thing with his teeth?” Faith asked in a soft voice, shivering at the memory. “I gotta go to work…be careful…”
Hope nodded and slowly made her way back to her desk, chewing her lip and thinking.
She set Mina free from the car when they arrived home, smiling at her continual excitement about sharing her day with her father. She pushed the door open at the same time Mina came up behind her, both of them staring at her bedroom.
“Is it Christmas?” Mina whispered reverently.
“I don’t think so,” Hope answered, her voice just as low and filled with awe. Over a dozen boxes and bags with brightly colored tissue paper dotted the room. Both of them took a couple steps into the room when they heard movement and spun to meet the amber gaze watching them.
“Before you launch into me, give me a chance to explain,” Devon suggested, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.
“I think we should sit down,” Mina took Hope’s hand and led her to the bed, scrambling onto the surface and watching the adults.
“I think you should go play and let me talk to Hope on my own,” Devon told her, lifting her to the floor with a gentle swat on her behind, sending her giggling toward the connecting door.
“Alright…no audience…” Hope worked the heels off her feet and slid up on the bed, ankles crossed as she waited.
“The first dinner is Friday,” Devon began slowly. He’d been working on the speech since the packages arrived at three. He wasn’t this nervous when he made proposals for business. “You leave at noon. We have to be there for the social pre-dinner at six-thirty. It’s Wednesday.”
“You went shopping?” She didn’t mean it to sound quite so unbelievable, but it did come out a little skeptical s
ounding.
“I have friends,” he said honestly. “I…got your size from that suit you wore on Monday and from one of your shoes and called my friend. I sent her your photo and told her we needed half a dozen black tie evening dresses and some shoes and…and stuff. They arrived today.”
“Half a dozen…” Hope licked her lips, struggling with the girl in her who wanted to rip into packages and see what he bought.
“Are you going to open them?” He asked after a long minute. “Come on, Hope, I…”
“Thank you,” she said quietly, slipping to the floor and moving to stand in front of him, her arms up and around his neck. “It was…is…a wonderful gesture for you to help me. I was starting to worry about the time thing….” She felt his palms move to her waist as she hugged him.
“You can send any of them back if they’re not…what you like,” he wasn’t sure when he lost control of his voice. It was something to do with the dark eyes staring up at him.
“I guess I better check…” She said softly, her hands shaking as she moved to one of the large boxes.
The first one she pulled from a box was a deep forest green with a sparkling buckle on one shoulder. The top was done in a collection of soft pleats from the buckle that stopped beneath her breasts in a thin silver and diamond accented band before flowing to the floor. She held her breath, knowing it would cling to her.
“It’s beautiful,” she breathed, light fingers brushing over the silken fabric before stepping to another box.
Her fingers shook as she lifted the red gown from inside the box. Very thin straps barely held up with beaded, fitted top, a long flowing skirt and a matching wrap that felt fluid in her hands.
She lifted the lid off the next box, deep navy blue greeting her. She lifted it by the slim shoulders, a deep V neck front, flowing long skirt and a blue stone studded empire belt.
“I’m not going to be able to pick…” She whispered, letting the silken fabric flow over her palm. Hope opened the next box and knew she stopped breathing. It had one shoulder but one side was cut out and the entire thing was beaded. It sparkled against the stark black of the gown.
“Devon…these are all…so…so…beautiful…so glamorous…” She turned to look at him, her stomach aching. “I’ve never…I don’t want to…to embarrass you. This is so very important to you.”
“I’m not worried that you’ll embarrass me, Hope,” Devon grinned and nodded to the black gown. “I think that one for Friday. Gillian said she included a couple wraps so you don’t freeze.”
Hope nodded and carried each gown to the closet, hanging it before going to the last two boxes, finding a shimmering Greek style gown in a pale gold and a chiffon halter gown in deep purple with gold stripes, almost no back and a firm corset style top.
Devon watched the reverent way she held each dress, smoothing the skirts down and staring from one to the other. She took the boxes of shoes to the closet next, laying them out before peeking in the tissue lined bags and pulling slinky shawls, a different one in each of the four bags.
“Are you going to pass out on me, Hope?” Devon saw her sway a little, his hands immediately up as he stepped forward.
“No…but I might cry…you should go now…really…please…” she didn’t face him, her head shaking slightly.
“I think I can weather a few tears, Hope,” Devon moved forward, his hands on her shoulders. “I’m not sure…as a guy…I understand why, though…is that okay?” He turned her slowly, her lashes brimming with tears held captive because she refused to open her eyes. Devon sighed, urging her close and letting her head rest on his chest.
“It’s hard to explain,” she whispered, her palms beneath her head, unable to stop the tears. It was nice being held. It was nice not being unemployed.
“If you don’t understand, then we’re doomed,” he teased, relieved when she offered a soft laugh, her palms rubbing at her face before she straightened up and went right into the bathroom. “Dinner, Hope…ten minutes,” he said after a glance at his wrist.
“Alright…I just need to fix this…streaks…”
“I’ll get Mina,” he told her, going through the connecting door and dropping to wrestle the little girl into his arms, tossing her lightly over his shoulder.
“What’s the presents?” She asked from the upside down position over her father’s shoulder.
“Dresses for Hope to wear when we go out.”
“Me, too?”
“Not this time. This is adult time. Jackie and you are having movie night,” he told her easily.
“Cool…I like movie night…can we sleep in the study?”
“You can until we get home…then I’ll put you to bed, how’s that?” He dropped her into her chair, moving it up to the table.
Mina hastily swallowed the bite of rice she’d taken when Hope sat down. “Can I see the dresses?”
“Absolutely. After dinner before we go play, how’s that?” Hope leaned over next to her ear. “They’re gorgeous!” She whispered dramatically, laughing at the wide eyes of anticipation.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Devon wasn’t sure why he couldn’t focus after dinner. It wasn’t that there was anything that had to have his attention right then. He’d be glad when the office was moved. He wanted his home to be home, not work, he’d decided on the way home that afternoon. He wanted to relax and watch movies with Mina…and Hope, his mind tossed out sharply. He wanted to spend a little time just playing. And he was coming to realize that had to begin with him.
Mina went down a little before eight, barely making it through a page of her story. Devon sat on the corner of her bed, his fingers brushing the blond hair from her face. He had her first effort at printing her name taped to the shelf next to his desk and briefly wondered how dad’s survived watching their daughters grow up. He tapped lightly on the connecting door before entering Hope’s bedroom.
Devon swept the room, landing on the bare toes bent behind her. She lay stretched out on the bed, hastily closing a little book and shoving it into the nightstand drawer before turning to sit and greet him.
“Did the dresses get the Mina seal of approval?” He asked, sinking to the large cushioned chair and leaning his elbows on his knees.
“She was pretty much like me…speechless,” Hope said with a sigh. “I think school is wearing her out. They have a really good set of classes that include lots of movement and learning. Just so you know…one of the memory lessons is to tell people about your day,” Hope told him, liking the approving nod and smile he offered.
“I wanted to talk to you, Hope,” he began, laughing the next minute at her expression and response, so very like Mina.
“About what?” She asked, head curiously tilted to the side and waiting.
“Us…relationships…dating…” He glimpsed something far from a thirty-four year olds reaction but she nodded quietly. “You never mentioned having anyone in your life…someone special…”
“I don’t have a boyfriend, if that’s what you’re asking, Devon,” she grinned cheekily. “I’d hope he’d notice I was missing by now,” she stared at the hands in her lap for a few seconds. “Do you think we’re friends, Devon?”
“I’m thinking without friendship, the rest of it wouldn’t work,” he answered thoughtfully, his mind filled with the session with the counselor and the things she’d helped return to his thoughts. He guessed he must have said something good because she was looking at him instead of the twisting fingers.
“I’ve been thinking about…timing…and…coincidence,” she began quietly. “I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason, good things or bad. I’m not thrilled that you were hurt…or that the man…died…but I am glad I decided to go into the haunted house,” she admitted with a crooked grin.
“I’m thinking it was a good thing for me, too, Hope,” Devon liked watching the light in her eyes when she was smiling at him.
“Were you friends with Maggie?” She asked cautiously, immediately b
iting her lip.
Devon couldn’t stop his initial reaction, bristling at her invasion into his life, his past. His memories. He let his head fall back, eyes closed for a long minute.
“Devon…”
“No, Hope…give me a minute…please,” he asked quietly, working to pull the words together that he wanted to leave his mouth. “I am different,” he began carefully. “I don’t know if it’s Mina…or…or the sense of responsibility that fills you when you realize this little person exists because of you…and maybe it’s a typical growth stage…I’m not sure. But I know I’m not the same person now that I was when I was married to Maggie,” he lifted his head to see her watching him.
“My idea of friendship…with my partner…isn’t the same,” he continued. “We had things in common. We both like skiing and wine tastings with friends,” he blew a long breath between his lips. “This kind of talk…anything…in depth…she would never consider. She kept a big part of her locked away. Said it came out in her paintings and didn’t have words to express. Things you and I have talked about…various renovations around the city, politics, the logic of sports and guys…” He liked the little smile she offered. “Maggie was bored with most of life. And I didn’t know how to help that…and I never realized how much more I needed than she was willing to share.”
“Then you know…with me…it’s okay if you tell me you don’t want to talk about something, Devon. I don’t want to make you…to bring sad memories,” she said quietly. “I have girlfriends…and we talk constantly…and I know there’s nothing off limits or out of bounds. And even a few guy friends I’ve met at places I’ve worked who just like sharing a meal and talking about life stuff.”
“But no one serious, Hope?”
“No…I think…you look at the stages of your life like a river,” she said thoughtfully, a little frown creasing her brow. “In the river, it’s small and crowded. Like the early part of your life. High school…the mouth of the river is college…things spread out a lot. People go off in so many directions,” her head shook slowly. “When you hit the ocean…if you made it that far and you’re not attached…or wounded from early relationships…it’s not something you have to force upon yourself. At least for me, it never was. You might meet someone out shopping or at work…or you might not and it’s okay, either way. Mostly because you’re okay with yourself.”