Play With Fire: Into The Fire Series

by J. H. Croix

  We landed in Anchorage, and I glanced over at Levi. I wanted him to pass on a message to Jasmine, but I knew that wasn’t how to go about this. She would be expecting me back and damn, I wanted to see her. But I had to do this, and I was at the airport.

  I strolled over to him. “Levi,” I called.

  He spun back in my direction from where he’d been walking to the car rental counter. Normally, we drove back to Willow Brook from here, but we had to snag a few car rentals because we’d actually helicoptered out directly from Willow Brook.

  “What’s up?” Levi asked.

  “I need some time off, maybe three or four days. My old buddy from Georgia got injured in a fire. Doesn’t sound like he’s going to make it. I can catch a plane straight from here, so I thought I’d skip the trip home.”

  Levi was quiet, his eyes assessing. He knew this would hurt. I also knew Levi was the kind of friend who was loyal. He was there for his friends. Unlike me, he might’ve already been down to see Bill. All of this went unspoken because he didn’t know the story.

  He clapped me on the shoulder, his hand resting there. “You do whatever you need, man. Do you need anything from me?”

  I shook my head because what I needed was Jasmine. He couldn’t give that to me. Not now, most certainly not when he didn’t even know what lay between us.

  “No, man. Just a few days off.”

  “You okay?” he asked.

  That grief thudded in my heart, and I shrugged. “I’ll be all right. It sucks, but it is what it is. He still might make it.”

  Levi pulled me in for a quick, thumping hug and then set me back. With a wave, I turned away, heading for the ticket counters upstairs. Once I snagged a ticket to Denver and was routed to the other gates, I slid my phone out and tried to call Jasmine.

  I got her voicemail.

  It’s Jasmine. You know what to do.

  “Jasmine, it’s Donovan. I have to fly out, but I’ll be back. My return ticket is for Friday. I’ll try to call again.”

  I almost told her I missed her, but the words didn’t come. Coming to grips with the reality that I might never get to tell Bill I forgave him, that we were good, was fucking with my head.

  After I left a message, I texted her basically the same thing. For my text, I threw an X on the end.

  Then, my flight was called, and I was headed to Denver. I landed and headed straight for the hospital once I rented a car. My mom had texted to tell me she and my father had already flown in. Bill’s mother was her best friend, so I knew she’d want to be there. I fucking hoped like hell that he somehow pulled through.

  In the jumble of it all, I barely had time to do anything, not to check my messages, not to take Jasmine’s call. She didn’t leave a return message. Her text was so vague as to make it impossible for me to read into it.

  I hope everything’s ok.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Jasmine

  I missed Donovan, and I was also pissed off at him. I knew I had no right to expect him to let me know what was going on. No matter how I felt and how deeply entwined my heart was with him, we hadn’t talked about it. I sure as hell couldn’t expect us to be something official.

  Yet, it still stung that I didn’t know why he left abruptly. A phone call would’ve been nice.

  He did leave you a message. You just didn’t answer because you were busy.

  Yeah, but he didn’t say why he left, or what was going on.

  This was the mental volley in my brain. I’d known something was bothering him for a few days, but it was clear he didn’t want to talk about it, so I’d left it alone.

  You could’ve asked.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I muttered to myself as I yanked on my jeans.

  I needed to figure out my studio situation. I didn’t need to dwell on Donovan. He’d called one more time since he left, and I’d been in the shower, so I missed the call. He said he would be home tomorrow.

  Reminding myself rather sternly that I shouldn’t be counting on a man and that it was insane for me to be falling in love with Donovan when I’d just ended my engagement, I stepped into my cowboy boots and left. I was planning to grab a cup of coffee and a scone at Firehouse Café. After that, I’d get over myself and ask my dad for help with my studio.

  A few minutes later, I pushed through the door to Firehouse Café. It was early, quite early actually—just past six a.m. Despite the early hour, the café was crowded. The weather was beautiful today. I presumed many of the tourists I saw were prepping to leave for their daily trips.

  I waited in line, thinking how I missed waking up with Donovan. I needed to readjust and stop wishing for something that wasn’t there. Him going away like this was a good wake-up call. I had no clue where we stood, and I didn’t need to be moping over him.

  It was like a little scratch on my heart, again and again, to think that he couldn’t tell me what was going on. I had somehow convinced myself we were more intimate than that. Maybe it was just lust on his end, and I was reading far more into it.

  When I got to the front of the line, Janet’s wide smile greeted me. She flicked her braid behind her shoulder, drumming her fingertips on the counter. “So, what’ll it be this morning?”

  “The strongest coffee you’ve got, and a blueberry scone heated up a little. Mind if I take a look at the space afterwards?”

  “Of course not. I’ve got a key for the back door for you anyway. Hang on, let me get this for you, and I’ll have Daniel come up front. We can walk back together. Daniel!” she called over her shoulder.

  She prepped my coffee and put a scone in the small oven up front. She got another coffee ready, while Daniel came out. After I paid him, she and I walked into the back together. She handed over a key that was hanging on a hook by the door.

  “All yours, hon. I meant to talk to you anyway. I spoke to Donovan about it, and I’d like him to do the work you need back here. Since he’s already working on the B&B for me, I can have him take care of a few things here, and he’ll do whatever you need while he’s at it.”

  My mouth must’ve fallen open because Janet grinned. “Surprised?”

  I nodded slowly, wondering why he hadn’t mentioned this to me. I didn’t quite know what to think.

  “Um, are you sure? I’ll pay for whatever he does for the studio,” I finally said.

  Janet shrugged. “Hon, I don’t think he’s going to charge you.”

  I felt my cheeks get hot. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because I think he likes you,” Janet said bluntly.

  By this point, my face felt like it was on fire.

  Janet chuckled and reached over to squeeze my shoulder. “Hon, he hasn’t said a word to me. It’s just a feeling. Plus, I saw you two the other night.”

  I was suddenly worried about what she’d seen. Lord knows what showed on my face, but she threw her head back in a laugh.

  “Well, I guess I was right. Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything exciting.” She was quiet for a beat, her gaze considering. “Donovan is a good man, the best kind of man. You deserve nothing less.”

  I swallowed through the sudden emotion knotting in my throat. Taking a quick sip of coffee, my fingers tightened around the top of the little paper bag that held my scone.

  “Maybe he is, but I don’t think he thinks about me like that. I mean, he just left town without even telling me why.”

  I was suddenly feeling way too emotional for this conversation. I adored Janet, and she was like an aunt to me. But I sure as hell didn’t want to break down in tears over Donovan in front of her.

  I took another sip of coffee, forcing my mind to not think about him. Janet cocked her head to the side, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh, her too perceptive gaze coasting over my face.

  “Hon, I can’t speak for Donovan, but he’s not an asshole. No matter what, I don’t think for a second he would screw around with you. Because he knows he’d have to deal with me, and I’ll be a hell of lot wo
rse than Levi about it. Levi’s his friend, so he’s got some explaining to do if he’s being an ass to you. I don’t know why he went out of town, but I know he’s a mama’s boy. She’s been up to visit every year since he moved here. He’s good to his family. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Maybe it has something to do with that, and he just didn’t have time to explain. But by the look on your face, it’s obvious he means something to you.”

  I simply nodded, taking a gulp of my coffee before I said anything else stupid. “I guess when he gets back I’ll talk to him about whatever I need back here. I need a few shelves and a worktable in the middle. Will that be okay?” I asked, completely shifting off topic. I just couldn’t speculate about Donovan. I did not need to get my silly hopes up.

  Janet squeezed my shoulder again. “I told you. Whatever you need to do is fine.”

  I pulled her into a hug. “Thank you. Once I’ve got some money coming in, we’ll figure out the rent, okay?” I asked as I stepped back.

  Right then, someone called Janet’s name. She winked at me before spinning away. “Of course,” she called over her shoulder just before pushing through the door, out to the front.

  When the door swung shut behind her, I was alone in the back garage. It was quiet in the space, completely empty. Spinning around slowly, I didn’t quite know what to think about having Donovan get the space ready for me. I’d thought of asking him, yet I wondered why he hadn’t said anything to me about this. Maybe he wanted it to be a surprise, or maybe it just didn’t mean very much.

  My insecurities had been pretty chatty the last few days. I’d tricked myself into tumbling into the haze of hot sex and imagined intimacy between Donovan and me. I didn’t know what was real, or what was all in my head. I didn’t have a ton of confidence in my judgment when it came to men and reading the tea leaves.

  With a sigh, I turned away, letting myself out the back and locking the door behind me.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Donovan

  Standing beside Bill’s hospital bed, I looked down at him. He was unconscious, of course. He was hooked up to a breathing tube and God knows what else with the hum of the breathing machine and occasional beeps in the room.

  The hospital sheet and bandages covered him, so I couldn’t see the burns. According to the medical team, he’d sustained burns on over eighty-percent of his body. His crew in California got caught in a ravine with the wind whipping the fire quickly in the opposite direction.

  Bill hadn’t been able to get out in time and his emergency fire shelter hadn’t been able to withstand the flames. No matter what had gone down between Bill and me, he’d been my best friend for years. My heart ached. A bit of his hair was visible on top of his head, his face relaxed in sleep. They’d told me he was in an induced coma and would stay that way until something changed.

  I wished I could see him crack his sly smile once more. When it came to being out in the field, Bill was rock solid. Though we hadn’t ended up on the same crew, we’d completed our training together.

  Curling my hands over the bed railing, I spoke, “I’m here, man. You were on my list to call soon. Because I fucking miss you. Shit happens, and it just took me a while to figure that out. I know you were sorry, and I’m fucking sorry I stayed angry as long as I did. I’m hoping you’re gonna pull through this, but it’s not sounding good.”

  I had to stop and take a shuddering breath because my tears were choking me up. Funny, but I hadn’t cried when everything went down with him and Katie. I’d just been pissed. That wasn’t what I was crying about right now. I was crying because my friend was probably going to die. Hell, he wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for modern medicine.

  I rested my hand on his arm over the sheet. Regret was hitting me like a fucking truck, and I hated that it had taken this to get me to see him.

  I wasn’t what I would call a particularly religious man, but my mama had taken me to church every weekend growing up. Every so often, I sent up a prayer and did so now. I just wished Bill’s pain would end. Whatever that meant. I’d faced death enough to know that death was a part of life. You could hold it at bay, but only for so long. If this was Bill’s time to go, I just didn’t want him to suffer.

  I didn’t know what the answer was. I understood why Bill’s parents were considering taking him off life support, yet it seemed like a nearly impossible decision. Much as I wanted the news to change and for him to have a chance, I’d almost rather he just died on his own if that was the foregone conclusion.

  I brushed my hand over the sheet covering his arm, barely a touch. “Well man, you said your piece when you called. Even if you can’t hear me, I want you to know I did finally let it go. Katie was never right for me. She wasn’t right for you either, and you figured it out too. I wish you could meet Jasmine. She’s incredible. In hindsight, it’s a damn good thing you let your dick get ahead of your brain. Because if you hadn’t, I might’ve married Katie and missed out on meeting Jasmine. I guess I should thank you for that. I’m gonna miss you, man.”

  Almost on cue, there was a knock at the door and then a nurse stepped through, followed quickly by a doctor. They looked surprised to find me there.

  “His parents let me in the room, just to give me a few minutes alone with him,” I explained.

  The nurse smiled softly. Whether she knew a fucking thing I was feeling, I sensed her warmth. “Do you need a little more time?” the doctor asked.

  “No, but thank you,” I replied, stepping out of the room and walking down the hall to the waiting area where Bill’s parents were sitting, along with mine.

  My mom stood, immediately wrapping me in her arms, giving me what I used to call her “mama hug” when I was a little boy. At thirty-three, I’d been a man for years and stood a good foot taller than her. She didn’t distinguish. Her hugs were simply all-encompassing. She saved them for moments like this—when words just wouldn’t do.

  As much as my heart ached with the sharp sting of grief, in a strange way, I felt more myself than I had in years. I could look back now and see that I had every right to be pissed off at Bill. But, he had apologized. I’d been just a little too bitter at the time to accept it. At least that had been released.

  When my mama stepped back, her eyes were bright with tears. A mingled sense of grief and despair hung in the room.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jasmine

  A napkin flew past my head, bouncing off my shoulder and landing in Maisie’s lap beside me. Maisie simply laughed and tossed the napkin back at Lucy. Lucy was venting her various complaints about being pregnant, most particularly what she considered ‘limitations.’

  Maisie, who’d had two babies already, was simply rolling her eyes. Case in point, her reply.

  “My God, you’re just ridiculous. You don’t have any limitations on your activity, and you’d think it was the end of the world. You’re barely through your first trimester. The only reason you’re showing is because you’re so tiny. I’m a little chunkier,” she said, slapping her hand on her thigh. “And two pregnancies didn’t help matters, so don’t even bitch to me.”

  Amelia added another eye roll to the chorus of them. Amelia had been a little bit ahead of me in school, but I knew her well. She’d been born and raised in Willow Brook, so she’d been here longer than me seeing as I’d only moved here at the beginning of high school. Unlike me, she had never left.

  She added, “I know. Nothing has slowed her down at work, unless you count Levi worrying about her.”

  I flashed a grin in Lucy’s direction. “Thank God, now he’s got someone else to worry about other than me.”

  Lucy sighed, reaching up and adjusting the ponytail on her head. “I know. I’ll get used to it, but good grief, you’d think I was the only woman who’d ever been pregnant before, with the way he acts.”

  Amelia nudged her in the side with her elbow. “Yeah, he worries in equal amounts to you complaining.”

  Lucy stuck her tongue out at Amelia
and shuffled the cards. Conversation carried on, and I glanced around the table. We were at Cade and Amelia’s place where, apparently, the girls had a casual cards night every few weeks, and it had been determined I should be included.

  The group included Amelia and Lucy, along with Maisie, who I’d only recently gotten to know. Her grandmother had passed away and left Maisie her house in Willow Brook. Maisie was also married to a firefighter, Beck Steele, who was on Cade’s crew.

  Ella Masters, Cade’s little sister, was also here. She was currently engaged to Caleb, who’d been her boyfriend in high school. I knew Ella the best, if only because we were the same age. Levi and Cade had been friends in high school together, so Ella and I had spent a ton of time together. Like me, Ella had left Willow Brook for a few years. She’d moved back and finally come to her senses with Caleb.

  Rounding out our group this evening was Charlie Lane, or rather Dr. Lane. She was a newcomer to the group and was newly in love with Jesse Franklin, another firefighter. Charlie had initially intimidated me because she was a doctor, but she was nice and down to earth. She was a few years older than us with a sly sense of humor.

  Someone said something about Levi’s crew going out to another fire, and Lucy glanced in my direction. “Do you happen to know if Donovan will be back soon? You both live at Janet’s B&B, right?”

  Heat flooded my cheeks, and I hoped no one noticed. I grabbed my beer and took a sip. “As far as I know, he’ll be back tomorrow,” I replied, striving to keep my tone casual.

  Lucy nodded and reached for her water, rolling her eyes as she did. “I can’t drink. I don’t think about alcohol very much, but apparently I like to have a beer on the weekends,” she muttered.

  Maisie laughed. “You only have six months left.”

  Amelia’s gaze landed on me, her eyes considering. “So what’s up with you and Donovan anyway?” she asked.