The Black Notebook

by Isabelle Snow

  As she led me inside, I took my opportunity to look around. The structure was large enough for his family, but too much for mine. The living room was the first thing I saw, made up of a clean white couch positioned in front of a flat screened TV, and picture frames that decorated the shelves and walls. A dark wooden staircase curved up to the second floor, which was open for anyone on the ground floor to see. A row of doors lined the walls of the second floor, one for each sibling, another as the master bedroom, and lastly, the bathroom.

  The entrance to the dining room was just by the base of the staircase and when we passed by it something by the low corner of the wall caught my eye. I bent down slightly to get a better look. It was a faded drawing of a stickman with red hair and green eyes. Beside it someone had scribbled colin in blue crayon.

  I caught myself smiling, imagining a four or five-year-old Colin sitting there surrounded by crayons, vandalizing and laughing at his artwork.

  In the dining room, the Stillmans had a sturdy rectangular table, long enough for six people to sit without having their elbows rubbing against each other.

  Seated at one end of it was a man who had to be Colin’s father. They looked so similar—the well-defined jaw, the high cheekbones, even the shape of their eyebrows—but most of all, those green, green eyes that seemed to look right through you. However, instead of red hair, he had dark hair that was cropped short.

  To his left was a girl who looked like a smaller version of Candice but with freckles, and was probably only a few years younger than me. I didn’t need to think twice to know that she was Cass. Beside her was none other than Colin Stillman, my supposed “boyfriend”.

  Cass was saying to him, “I knew it! You probably left half-naked yesterday to meet your girlfriend.”

  Their father shot her a look. “Cassandra,” he said sternly.

  “I already told you it was a dare,” Colin grumbled, “and besides, how many times do I have to say that she’s not my girlfriend—”

  “Why, Colin,” I said, my voice making heads snap to my direction, “how easily you dismiss our love.”

  Colin sharply turned his head to face me and, the moment our eyes met, he immediately got to his feet and took my wrist in his hand. “Come on, let’s go somewhere to talk,” he said urgently.

  He started dragging me out of there but I stood my ground and batted my eyelashes up at him. “But, babe, aren’t you going to introduce me to your family?”

  From my peripheral vision, I could see Cass laughing silently, trying not to fall off the chair. I had a feeling I was going to like this girl.

  The corner of Colin’s mouth twitched at the word babe, but he sighed and turned to his family. “Guys, this is Seven. Seven, you probably know my mom by now. This,” he said, gesturing to his father, “is my dad. He sometimes looks like Mr. Gloom and Doom, but he’s much wilder than you think—right, dad?”

  His dad didn’t say anything. He didn’t even smile at what was probably just a harmless joke. He ignored Colin, as if he hadn’t said a thing, and turned to me with a stiff smile. “Nice to meet you,” he said. I smiled back and decided not to think about it too much.

  “And this,” Colin continued, narrowing his eyes at his younger sister, “is Cass. She’s annoying to the point of insanity, but she’s tolerable once in a while.”

  Cass grinned at me, the smile reminding me so much of her brother’s own mischievous smirk. “Howdy.”

  “Where’s Candice?” I asked, looking around the room. I only noticed three plates and a bowl of cereal on the dining table.

  “She’s at work,” Colin said, attempting to pull me away again, “now let’s go—”

  “Wait, you know Candice?” His mom raised her eyebrows at me in surprise.

  “Yeah, my mom’s her patient.”

  She gasped and clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh my! What a small world! And congratulations to your family,” she said, smiling, “How many months already?”

  I thought back, counting how many weeks it had already been since I last saw Candice. “When we got her checked up in the hospital, it was already a month, and it’s been another two weeks since then, so I guess it’s almost two months now—”

  “Alright, you can all talk about it some other day,” Colin interrupted, tugging insistently at my hand, “I need to talk to you now.”

  He didn’t wait for any of the members of his family to reply and simply marched towards the staircase, pulling me along with him. We were already at the third step when his dad asked, “And where do you think you’re going with Seven?”

  Colin paused only to grin devilishly at his father. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’m not going to impregnate her, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  He resumed his trek up the stairs and I was glad to finally be out of his family’s sight because my face must’ve been bright red. He started towards one of the doors and pushed it open with the hand that wasn’t holding my wrist.

  I looked around and immediately recognized the unmade bed and the scattered drawings taped and tacked to the walls. It felt a little odd, though, to enter his room properly through the door and not through the balcony, like I usually did.

  Once the door closed behind him, he let go of my wrist and fixed me with an almost indignant look. “What on earth were you thinking?” he demanded.

  I crossed my arms and glared at him defiantly. “I was thinking that maybe you’d want to know what it felt like to not be taken seriously.”

  “By what, telling my mom that we’re together?” he asked incredulously. “She’ll never let me hear the end of it!”

  “Exactly,” I said, smirking. I turned away from him and walked towards his bed, trying to see if the black notebook was underneath his pillow or something. “What better way to get back at you than to have your family annoying you about a nonexistent girlfriend?”

  When I saw nothing other than messy sheets, I went over to the couch but only saw his sketchpad there and a pencil case spilling out different types of pens, two erasers and some charcoal. “But hey, don’t say I didn’t warn you before,” I said, shrugging nonchalantly. I headed towards his desk. “It’s your own fault for not giving back…my…” I trailed off as my eyes stopped glancing over the scattered papers and landed on the black notebook.

  “Yes! Finally!” I shouted in joy, taking it into my hands, and I was already planning a victory celebration when Colin reached out and grabbed it. He caught me unaware and it nearly slipped out of my fingers, but I acted quickly.

  I tightened my grip on the notebook and yanked hard. Unfortunately, compared to my hands, his were as strong and unrelenting as steel. “Just give it already, Colin!”

  “Let go, Seven!” he said, pulling insistently on it, but I just pulled back. I shifted my hold on the notebook and gripped it so hard that my knuckles were turning white. I was already this close; I wasn’t about to let it go just like that.

  “No! It’s mine!”

  “I said let go!”

  “You have no right!” I practically screamed, my hands, wrists and arms straining. “It’s mine and you only found it! You’ve been giving me a hard time and enjoying watching me fail again and again! I don’t understand what’s so entertaining about—”

  I wasn’t able to finish my sentence though. In one swift movement, Colin cupped the back of my head with his hand and crushed his lips aggressively against mine.

  My eyes went as wide as saucers in shock, but as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, I could feel all my fight slowly being sucked out. My eyes soon fluttered closed, his kiss working like a soft lullaby lulling a baby into peaceful slumber. My grip on the black notebook loosened and my mind was in too much chaos to think about where it disappeared to.

  And then, on the other side of the door, I heard a knock.

  Next thing I knew, the door was creaking open and his mom came in, calling, “Why are the two of you shouting? Is something wrong—oh my!” She jumped
in surprise and her hands flew up to her mouth to hold back her gasp.

  Colin and I sprang apart, my face immediately going up in flames with embarrassment. His mom was standing by the door, eyes wide. She placed her hand over her heart. “Colin! Goodness, and to think that I actually thought the two of you were having a fight or something—”

  “Mom,” Colin said, sighing exasperatedly. I noticed that his hand was still planted on the nape of my neck, his thumb high enough that it could trace the line of my jaw. Maybe he could feel my pulse beating in quick thumps. “Relax. Seven was just about to leave.”

  “I was?” I asked, blinking up at him in a daze.

  He touched my cheek with such tenderness that I almost sighed contentedly, right there in front of his mother. “Yes, you were. Now come on. I’ll walk you out.” He took my hand and started dragging me out of his room.

  When we passed by his still-slightly-stunned mom, I said, “Bye, Mrs. Stillman. Thanks for having me.” I tried to smile apologetically, but I probably just grinned goofily.

  She watched us go and I had a bad feeling that I didn’t exactly make the best first impression. I mean, I probably looked like some needy girlfriend who only came to his place for a brief make out session. Ugh.

  He led me down the curving staircase, not even pausing for one second to let me say goodbye to his dad and sister. He went straight for the door and as he was swinging it open, I only noticed then the black notebook sticking out of the back pocket of his jeans.

  We stepped out of the door and I sneaked a glance up at him, only to find him already staring intently at me.

  He kissed me, I thought to myself and that was enough for my shyness to take over. My gaze trailed away from his and I cleared my throat to break the tension. “Well, um,” I said maladroitly, “I-I guess I should get going then.”

  I turned away, not waiting for his response, my mind set on going home so that I could think and rethink about what had just happened. But before I could even accomplish a full turn, Colin’s hand tugged at my wrist. “Wait,” he said.

  I looked back and then he was leaning forward, planting a short but sweet kiss on my lips.

  I couldn’t believe it. This guy had already gotten my second kiss in less than fifteen minutes.

  Not that I was complaining.

  He pulled away, far enough that our noses were still touching, and looked down at me. “Okay. You’re free to go.”

  This time when I moved away, he let go of my hand, and I hopped off the porch and down his driveway. I glanced over my shoulder at him and saw that he was still standing there, hands stuffed in his pockets, watching me leave with a small, satisfied smile.

  I looked away, blushing, my plan and desire for revenge already forgotten.

  Entry 14: The Boyfriend

  Date: April 7, 2013

  It was way past midnight when I heard a knock. I stirred in my bed, sleep still reluctant to release me from its clutches. I stretched and turned, causing the bed sheets to cling to my body.

  Another knock came.

  I looked up, blinking at the sleep-blurred world around me until my gaze turned to the window just above my bed. A shadowy figure was crouching on the ledge, its slim but tall body looming over me.

  Panic bloomed in my chest and I hurriedly reached for my lamp and switched it on, bathing the room with faint light. Now I could clearly see who that shadowy figure was. Colin.

  I got up to my knees and slid the window open. “Colin!” I whispered. “What on earth are you doing here in the middle of the night? And how did you get up here?”

  He offered me his characteristic grin and expertly slipped under the sill, feet-first. He landed softly on my bed, causing it to creak a bit. He twisted around until he was able to sit cross-legged, facing me. “First off,” he said, raising a finger, “I’m here because I wanted to see you again.”

  I blushed and started picking nervously at my nails. He was wearing simple clothes—dark jeans and a black National Geographic T-shirt—and yet he looked amazing, his red hair messy and green eyes bright.

  And there I was, sitting merely a couple of inches away from him, looking ragged in a large T-shirt and checkered boxers. Not to mention my bed hair. Plus, my toenails still had some chipped nail polish, which I’d half-heartedly attempted to clean off before I’d gone to sleep. Ugh.

  “You do know that we could’ve met up, I don’t know, when the sun is up and I don’t look…like this, right?” I asked, gesturing to my attire.

  Colin reached out and tipped my chin up with his hand. He looked at me straight in the eye and said, “You look beautiful. And besides, wouldn’t it be more romantic this way?” He winked.

  It was getting pretty hard not to smile. “Yeah, okay, but how did you even get up here? I don’t have a tree right beside my bedroom window to climb.”

  “I was just getting to that,” he said. “Apparently the drainage pipe that runs along the side of your house works just as fine as a tree.”

  I pursed my lips dubiously and said, “Part of me still can’t believe that you went through all that trouble just to see me.”

  “Okay, you’ve caught me.” He raised his hands up as if he was surrendering himself. “I lied. I didn’t come here just because I wanted to see you.” His features softened with a smile. “I also came for this.” He dropped his hands and swooped in towards me for a kiss.

  I let out a surprised little yelp when our lips collided, but soon I was eagerly kissing him back. He pulled me towards him so that I was sort of sitting on his lap. His fingers found their way to my hair and I was just getting into it when I heard a shrill scream.

  I broke our kiss with a gasp—

  —and was confused to see my alarm clock sitting on my bedside table, blinking the time and screeching at me, instead of Colin’s beautiful face.

  When I realized why, I groaned and rolled over in bed to reach the off button on the clock.

  It was just a dream, I thought with a sigh. I leaned back and reached up to gently brush my fingers against my lips. What did I expect? Colin wouldn’t have made the effort of going to my house in the middle of the night to kiss me, much less just to see me.

  After a second or two of just lying there, thinking, I sat up and headed to the bathroom to refresh myself. When I took a good look at the mirror though, I sighed again. The dark half-moons hanging under my eyes were proof enough of last night’s insomnia, of last night’s rolling back and forth, and the endless train of thoughts.

  Unfortunately, no matter how happy I was when I got home, it slowly dawned upon me while watching reruns with my mom, that maybe Colin didn’t really mean the kiss, just as he didn’t mean anything else he said or did.

  Just because a guy kisses you doesn’t mean that they’ve fallen head over heels for you. It could just mean that they’re only playing with your feelings.

  With that, I’d gone to bed with eyes wide-awake and a mind that argued against itself.

  I spat out the toothpaste in my mouth and gargled some water. I cupped my hands under the faucet and washed my face with a splash of cold water. Then I dried myself with a towel before starting down to the kitchen, where my mom would surely be.

  Our little bonding time yesterday had been cut short by dinner, and Mom wanted to finish the remaining episodes that morning.

  As I entered the kitchen, Mom looked up from what she was doing. She’d been scribbling on a piece of paper before I arrived. “Just a second, Seven,” she said, turning back to what she was writing, “I’m just copying this recipe I found.”

  “Ooh,” I cooed appreciatively. “What could this delightful meal be?”

  “It’s fish fillet wrapped with bacon and sprinkled with rosemary. Seems worth a try,” she said. She glanced up at me from the corner of her eye and saw me lick my lips excitedly, already imagining what the food would be like.

  She smiled. “Yes, I figured that would be your reaction.” She finally
stopped writing and dropped the pen on the counter. “Alright, that’s that. Now let’s go watch some—”

  The phone started ringing and I snapped my head towards it in surprise.

  “I wonder who it could be,” my mom murmured, walking over to it in quick strides. She picked up the phone and answered, “Hello?” After a pause, she chirped, “Oh, Colin! Good morning!”

  “C-Colin?” I sputtered incredulously. Why on earth would he be calling my home?

  Mom ignored me and smiled into the phone. “No, it’s alright. Seven and I were just going to watch something. You know, a little mother-daughter bonding time.” She laughed. “So is there a reason why you’re calling today? Do you want me to give the phone to Seven?” She twisted around to look at me and winked.

  I covered my face with both of my hands and shook my head. Oh, Mother.

  From the slits between my fingers, I could see my mom’s face and the unmistakable change that took place there. Her smile slowly melted away and her eyes widened with shock. Soon, a gaping mouth was following suit. “Colin, correct me if I’m mistaken…but did you just call my daughter your…?”

  I raised my eyebrows. What was going on now?

  “Oh my!” she squealed. “I’m so happy for both of you! I knew that one way or another you two would end up together! I noticed it from the way you looked at each other, especially Seven, she’s—”

  “Mom!” I interrupted her before she could destroy what little dignity I had left.

  She took the phone away from her ear and hugged it to her chest, as if she were cradling a precious baby. “Seven,” she scolded me, “is it not bad enough that you didn’t tell me that Colin and you were already together, you have to cut me off and—”

  “Together?” I choked out. “Where’d you get that idea?”

  “From Colin,” she said defensively, pointing at the phone in her hand.

  I grabbed it without a second thought and bellowed at the speaker, “Colin!”

  On the other side of the line, his voice drawled sexily, “Hello there, love.”

  “What do you think you’re doing?”