Forbidden Desires

by Jodie Griffin

  “You’ll need some refresher training. You and the other new Fire Meds will go to a special three-week class at the training academy in Emmitsburg. You’ll bunk up there during the week, and you’ll be free on weekends. Does that work for you?”

  “Yes, sir,” Marcus repeated, leaning forward to shake his captain’s hand. “Thank you, sir.”

  Morales nodded. “Dismissed.”

  Marcus hooked his cell phone off his belt as he exited his captain’s office. Hot damn, he thought as his fingers hovered over the keypad. He had to tell the news to someone, and he wanted to tell it to Bella, although he wasn’t sure what his reception would be. Desire won out, and he didn’t hesitate any longer. He dialed her number, completely expecting her voice mail again. But Bella answered, live and in person.

  “Hello?”

  For a long second, he couldn’t speak. Damn, but it was good to hear her voice. He cleared his suddenly dry throat. “Bella? It’s Marcus.”

  She didn’t reply, and his stomach dropped. Well, what the hell had he expected? He’d told her he didn’t want a relationship with her, so did he really expect her to be happy to hear from him?

  He kept walking, ducking into the ambulance bay. The room was empty, thank God. Everyone was probably at dinner. He sagged onto one of the benches against the wall and dropped his head back against it. “Bella?”

  “Hello, Marcus. Is there something you need?”

  Her formal, brittle words sliced across his heart, nearly as much as the unbidden thought that flew into his head. You. I need you. He was glad he was sitting down.

  He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you okay?” Jesus, what stupid fucking words. It was too late to call them back, although he truly wanted to know. In spite of all the rest, he cared about Bella’s well-being.

  “I’m fine, thank you. Do you need something?”

  He didn’t believe her for a second, but he let it slide. “No, not really. I had some news, and I just wanted to share it.” Guilt prickled his skin. He’d only thought of himself when he’d decided to call her. “I’m sorry to bother you, Bella. It won’t happen again.”

  He started to disconnect, but then she spoke.

  “Wait.” Her voice was soft now, not as aloof. “What news?”

  “I got a promotion at work.” The words felt bitterly selfish on his tongue, but he continued. “I’m going to be a Fire Med, which means I can work both fire scenes and ambulance runs, whichever is needed at the time.”

  “Oh, Marcus. That’s great news. Congratulations,” she said, her tone warmer than it had been.

  Warmer than he deserved, really. Bella cared, in spite of everything. She was that kind of woman, and why had he doubted it? Teresa. But knowing he’d been right about Bella was small comfort in the face of his selfish actions. He was a prick.

  “Tell me more about it.”

  Before he could respond, the station loudspeaker came on with a call for ambulance service. He swore. “Can I call you back? I’m still at work and we just got a call.”

  “Okay. And be careful.”

  His heart clenched at her soft final words, but his attention snapped one hundred percent to work when Dave Robinson came into the bay.

  “Let’s roll, partner.” Dave handed him the printout for the call and started the engine.

  Marcus climbed into the passenger seat, scanning the paper. His heart twisted. Roseville Manor, the retirement home where Alice, Edna and Myrtle lived. Due to the average age of the residents being over eighty, they got calls to the home all the time, but never before had he had a vested interest in someone who lived there. He said a fervent prayer as they sped down the road, sirens going full blast.

  Five minutes later, his hopes were dashed as they were led to Alice’s room. She lay on the floor, looking small and frail, with a bloody gash across her forehead. She was surrounded by nurses who were urging her to stay still, but the feisty woman was struggling to rise.

  He grabbed his bag and pulled on some gloves, kneeling on the floor next to her. “Hey there, Miss Alice. I need you to stay still for another little bit, okay?” He kept his voice calm as he reached out for her wrist to check her pulse. It was steady, but she was in her nineties, and a head injury could be severe. He also checked her pupils, which reacted well, and took her blood pressure, which was lower than he’d like to see.

  “Can you tell me what happened?” As he spoke, he dabbed at the cut on her head, taping some gauze over it until they got to the hospital, where it could be cleaned and dressed properly.

  “I wanted to wash up before dinner.” Her voice was unsteady, but her words were clear and easy to understand. “When I got up, I felt a little dizzy, and I tripped over my own two feet. I stumbled forward and banged my head into the doorframe to the bathroom.”

  He winced. “Ouch.”

  She smiled weakly. “I’ll say.”

  “Do you still feel dizzy, ma’am?” Dave asked.

  Tears gathered in the corner of Alice’s eyes. “A little.”

  Marcus squeezed her hand. “We’ll get you all taken care of.” He tried to inject a little humor into a situation that was obviously scaring her. “But Alice, there was no need for all this drama. If you wanted another date, all you had to do was ask me.”

  Alice blinked her tears away and squeezed his hand back. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too,” he said. He cleared his suddenly tight throat. “We’re going to take you over to the hospital to get checked out. I’ll ride in back with you. We’ll let Dave drive. My bedside manners are better than his.”

  Dave snorted. “You’ve gotta watch out for this guy, ma’am. I hear he’s a Romeo.”

  They got Alice settled onto the gurney, and it wasn’t until he was picking up all his gear that he realized Myrtle and Edna were standing near Alice’s bed, pinched, nervous looks on their faces.

  He stripped the gloves off, dropped them in a biohazard bag, stowed his kit under the gurney and let Dave know he needed a minute.

  “You ladies okay?”

  “Don’t worry about us, Marcus. We’re fine.” Myrtle touched his arm. “We’re going to call Bella to see if she can take us to the hospital to be with Alice.”

  “It’ll be a while before you can see her. They’ll probably admit her overnight, but you won’t be able to sit with her while she’s in Emergency.”

  Edna leveled a look at him that singed he skin. “You’re lucky we’re worried about Alice right now. Because if we weren’t, you’d get an earful, young man. Treat Bella the way you did.” She crossed her thin, bony arms and stared at him until he felt like squirming. “Humph.”

  Dave called from the hallway. “Time’s wasting. Let’s go.”

  Saved by the bell. “Gotta run, ladies.” He gave each of them a stealth peck on the cheek, and to his surprise, Myrtle blushed. Edna just made a disgusted noise.

  As he walked away, pushing the gurney, Edna’s voice followed him down the hall. “You’d better fix things with Bella, Marcus Aiello. Or you’re going to have us to deal with.”

  Chapter Eight

  Bella paced in front of the information desk at the hospital wearing a hole in the floor. She wouldn’t feel better until she saw Alice with her own eyes. When the nursing home had called her at work, her heart had nearly stopped. She knew her friends were elderly, and they wouldn’t live forever, but she wasn’t ready to lose any of them yet.

  “Ladies.”

  The voice came from behind them and startled her. Her pulse leaped, and she swore under her breath. Marcus. Shit, she didn’t need this. While she was happy to hear his good news, she didn’t think she could handle the additional stress of seeing him right now. She turned slowly and got another jolt to her system. A semi-unwelcome one. He was in uniform, a stethoscope around his n
eck, with a serious look in his deep brown eyes. In spite of that, he was sexier than any man had a right to be.

  “I don’t have a lot of time since I’m still on duty, but Alice did fine on the ride over. The doctor’s in with her now. Like I thought, they’re going to admit her for observation since she’s still feeling a little dizzy.”

  Bella blinked, surprised by his words. “You rode in with her?”

  He nodded. “That was the call I got while we were on the phone earlier.” Edna made a growling noise, and he flushed. “The phone call we’re going to finish later,” he added, raising his eyebrow at Edna.

  Bella looked back and forth between the two of them. Some undercurrent ran between them, but she didn’t have the time or the inclination to figure it out right now. “Can we see her?”

  Marcus shook his head. “I asked, but they’re running some tests. They want to be sure there’s nothing else going on with her. It’ll be about an hour before she’s done and she gets to a room.” His radio crackled, and he held up a finger, turning away slightly. He said something indecipherable into the receiver, then turned back to them. “We have to head back to the station. Call me if you need anything.”

  He said the words to her, but Bella noticed he included both Myrtle and Edna in that statement, and she fell just a little harder for him. Fat lot of good it would do though. All it did was twist the knife harder, shove it a little deeper into her heart.

  “We’re fine.” Her words were sharper than normal and if it had been any other man who’d dumped her, she would’ve taken pleasure in the way his eyes clouded. But this was Marcus, and his pain made her feel small and petty. “But thank you.”

  Four hours and several cups of coffee later, Bella sat quietly by Alice’s bedside. She’d already taken Myrtle and Edna home, and once she was sure Alice was asleep, she was doing the same. God, what a long freaking day.

  Alice started to snore softly, so Bella gathered her things and slipped from the room. The hospital hallway was quiet. It was way past visiting hours, but the staff had let her stay as family. She passed the small waiting room at the end of the hall and did a double take, coming to a screeching halt.

  “How’s she doing?” Marcus asked, his voice hushed. He was sprawled in an easy chair, a dog-eared paperback resting over his knee.

  “What are you doing here? It’s late.” She couldn’t believe he was here. He was still in his uniform, and he looked exhausted. “Did you come straight from work?”

  “Yeah. I wanted to check in on Alice.” He hesitated briefly, locked eyes with her. “And you.”

  His words made her breath catch in her chest. For someone who didn’t want to be involved, he sure had a funny way of staying away. Hope bloomed for a brief moment, but she shoved it back. This was more about Alice, and less about her. She was sure of it.

  “She’s asleep. Her tests looked good, but they did want to monitor her blood pressure. She recently switched medications, so her doctor thinks her dizziness is just a reaction to it.” She yawned and felt her jaw pop. “God, I’m tired.”

  Marcus rose, tucking the book into the backpack on the floor. “C’mon. I’ll follow you home.”

  Bella sighed. “You’re as tired as I am. I’m fine. You should just go home.”

  He walked with her to the elevator, silent. They got on, and the doors slid closed. It was a short ride to the ground floor, and the walk to the parking lot was just as quick. He was quiet the entire time.

  At her car, she turned and leaned against the door. “Marcus?”

  He scrubbed the back of his neck and rolled his shoulders. Finally, he leaned closer, bracing his arms on either side of her body, and murmured in her ear. “What if I said I didn’t want to go home alone?”

  Her heart stuttered, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the words or the nearness of his sexy body. It had to be his body, because his words tweaked her tail. “You should’ve thought about that before you decided you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

  He placed a soft kiss against her hair and stepped back, regret written across his handsome face and in his expressive eyes. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Bella. That was never my intention.”

  The thing was, she believed him. He didn’t seem the love-’em-and-leave-’em type who carved notches in his bedpost. Hell, they’d never even made it to his bed. Or hers.

  She shrugged and ducked under his arms and away from the dangerous lure of his body. “But you did hurt me, whether that was your intention or not. And I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. I’m really glad you got your dream job. I know you’ll do great. And thank you for being there for Alice.” She opened the car door, pausing one more second before she got inside. “Goodbye.”

  * * *

  Marcus followed Bella home anyway, making sure she got into her house before driving back to his condo. He all but fell into bed, forgoing his usual post-shift shower in favor of a date with his pillow. Exhaustion—both emotional and physical—washed over him as he lay in bed, trying to sleep. But his brain wouldn’t shut off, and neither would his body. Jesus, he’d been close to Bella for, what, ten minutes? His dick didn’t seem to care that his brain and his heart thought it was safer to break things off with her.

  The question was, what the hell was he going to do about it?

  He snorted. Nothing, right now. He’d be away for three weeks starting Monday. Even if he wanted to try to make things right, how would he manage that with only weekends at home?

  He rolled over and looked at the clock. Eleven-thirty. And he was due back at the station at seven. He pounded the pillow, willed his erection to behave, and finally succumbed to sleep.

  * * *

  When the alarm went off at five-thirty, Marcus dragged himself out of bed, bleary eyed and cranky as shit. Six hours of restless sleep hadn’t given him any answers. He took the fastest shower on record, dressed and headed to the hospital to check on Alice before his shift started. He’d be there several times during the day, of course, but not with enough time to stop in and visit with her.

  She was sitting up in bed watching the news, looking much better than she had the night before. He rapped lightly on the doorframe.

  “My goodness, dear, what are you doing here so early?”

  “I wanted to check in and see how you were doing before I got caught up in the day. How are you feeling?”

  “Oh, much better. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” Alice smiled warmly and touched the bandage on her head. “I can’t believe I was so clumsy. I have six stitches now.”

  He grinned. “Well, you know, scars add character.”

  She laughed, but then her face turned serious. “Marcus, what happened between you and Bella? I thought things were going well.”

  He thought about how to answer that without spilling the details of his sex life to a ninety-two-year-old woman. “It’s...complicated.”

  She wasn’t buying it. Her eyes were shrewd, and she shook her head sadly. “You kids put too much stock in appearances.”

  What the hell was that supposed to mean? Before he could ask, his phone beeped, so he leaned over and kissed her on her soft cheek. “I’ve got to head to the station now. I’ll try to check in later to see when they’re springing you from this joint.”

  When he reached the door, Alice called his name.

  He turned around. “Yes?”

  “The biggest risks you take in life are the ones with your heart. But those are also the most rewarding. Don’t let Bella slip away because you’re worried what other people will think. She’s worth the risk.”

  Chapter Nine

  Alice’s parting words stayed with Marcus throughout the day, tickling his brain when there was a lull in ambulance calls. Shit, he knew Bella was an amazing woman, and some guy would give his left nut to have her. The mere tho
ught of her with someone else sent a spike of pain through the dead center of his chest. During his downtime, he debated all sides of the situation with himself, but he couldn’t come up with an answer he could live with.

  About ten minutes before the end of his shift, he and Dave were routed to an accident scene. Luckily for the drivers and passengers, there weren’t any injuries that required transport. Lucky for him, too, because he really needed today to be over. They’d just finished packing up their gear and were getting ready to return to the station when Alex, his state trooper friend, walked up.

  “How’s it going, man?” Alex asked.

  Dave snorted. “He isn’t gettin’ any. Cranky bastard.”

  “Fuck you, Robinson.”

  “Not my type.” With that, Dave got into the ambulance and started checking emails on the smart phone that was never far from his hand.

  Alex laughed. “I guess that means you didn’t take my advice a couple of weeks ago?”

  Marcus rolled his eyes. “What is it with people today? Jesus. Let me work it out, okay?”

  “Shit, he is right. You are cranky.” Alex lightened the words with a grin. “Hey, by the way, I wanted to say thanks. I took Jessica to Lovettsville this past weekend, to that B&B you told me about.”

  Marcus felt a genuine smile cross his face. “Really. How’d she like it?”

  “Loved it. Great restaurant, too. She made me promise we’ll go back.” Alex grinned. “Wish we’d had more time to explore. We were a little preoccupied. Maybe next time.”

  “Yo, Aiello. Let’s go.”

  “Gotta run,” Marcus said to Alex. “Glad to hear it worked out for you. Catch you later.”

  As Dave drove them back to the station, Marcus racked his brain trying to figure out how he could straighten out this mess he’d gotten into with Bella. He wanted to, he really did, but he didn’t want to keep jerking her around if he couldn’t figure out a way to make a long-term relationship with her work. Or, hell, if a relationship with her even could work, all things considered.