by Mj Fields
���Because I will never step foot in that house again. I don���t want to see you ever again. What the fuck is wrong with me?!!��� Tessa pulled at her hair and screamed
He turned around, and tears fell down his face, ���Do you know what it���s like fucking up over and over, Tessa?���
���I sure do,��� she screamed. ���Take me back now!���
They pulled in, and she jumped out and ran in the garage. She grabbed her field hockey stick off the shelf and started beating the car parked in her garage. He ran in and grabbed her.
���Don���t do that Tessa,��� he said, ���Come on��� that���s not you.���
���Let go of me and go fuck your whore!���
���I���ll tell her to leave,��� he held her tighter as she tried to pull away.
���Put me down!��� she yelled.
���Lucas do you want me to call the police?��� the girl said walking into the garage.
���No bitch ��� call a fucking ambulance you���re going to need one,��� Tessa yelled and wiped her nose with her sleeve.
���No, this is Tessa and she has every right to be upset right now.���
She looked confused, ���So you���re going to let a crazy girl beat on my rental?���
���She and I just split up after five years of her being perfect. She has every right to be upset.���
���Okay��� whatever,��� she said and walked in.
���Get out of my house, whore!��� she screamed and tried to lunge towards the door.
���Tessa��� he whispered, ���Stop.���
She pulled free of his grasp and ran out of the garage and he followed.
���You���re not driving,��� he grabbed her arm.
She pulled it away from him ���You���re not telling me what to do!��� She shut the door and locked it. Lucas tried to open the door, and then stood behind the Jeep, ���MOVE!���
���Tessa, you���re not driving!���
���Take a mental picture Lucas, cause you will never see me again, look who I have become: one of your crazy exes!��� Tessa put the Jeep in drive and peeled out across the yard and through the field and around until she got on the driveway. He followed her down the road and pulled into the farm behind her. She ran in the house, and he followed.
���Get the fuck out!��� she screamed.
���John, Tessa is having a really hard time right now, because of me. She needs you all now more than ever.��� Tears streamed down his face. ���I���m truly sorry for the pain I���ve caused her, and as much as I would do anything to fix it I know I���ll continue screwing up. It���s who I am, please take care of her. Tessa I am truly sorry for causing you any pain, I should have never treated you like that. I hope you can forgive me,��� she slapped his face.
���Fuck you! I don���t need your dirty used up whore speech, I���m not like them,��� she yelled.
���No Tessa you never were,��� he said trying to stop the flood of tears ���I���m so sorry.���
���I HATE YOU!��� she lunged at him and John held her back.
Lucas walked out the door, and Maggie grabbed Tessa. John followed him out.
���Lucas���. son��� we need to talk.���
���John I love her, and I respect you all enough to walk away.��� Lucas started to shake.
���Lucas I have watched you change in five years, you���re a good man, who happens to have a long road ahead of him. I am going to ask two things from you. The first is to not go back to who you think you were. You were a kid who was pretty much alone. You fought for everything you have become, don���t throw that away. In five years, I want to see you alive and healthy and happy. You���ve taken good care of my daughter up until lately. You were there when I wasn���t able to be emotionally for her and for that I thank you. The next Lucas is to let her go. She���s hurting, this person in my house right now is not the Tessa I raised. She is pieces of her, we need to put her back together, and I thank God that we as a family are in a much better position to do that now.���
���I get it, but how, I love her with everything I am, the good, and the bad. How do I do it?��� he pleaded, ���Just tell me and I will please, damn it, just tell me!���
���Lucas I know you think she is the end all be all. But you wouldn���t even have the desire to look at another if she were. When I met Maggie,��� he smiled, ���I wasn���t perfect in any relationship before that, but when I met her the whole world could have stopped turning, and I would have not for one second noticed. She was all I needed from that day on. I wasn���t perfect, and after five kids, we lost our connection. She left and was going on dates, and I can honestly tell you I never once thought of doing the same. Lucas when you meet that person you���ll know immediately. You���ll never need another.���
���I felt that way when I met Tessa,��� he said softly. ���It could have been that way with her.���
���Lucas you need time to reflect and evaluate your past and really see what you want for your future. I heard from Jose that you were going to San Francisco. I think that���s a good place to start.���
���You���ve been like a father to me I can���t tell you enough how sorry I am,��� he said looking down.
���Anytime you need something you call me, your part of this family now and I wish I could get you through it, but my Tessa needs me,��� he said.
They hugged, and Lucas left. John walked in the house and sat on the kitchen floor and pulled her into his arms and kissed Maggie,
���Daddy is he going to be okay?��� she asked quietly.
���Yes honey, you both are.���
* * *
Lucas got home, and Tipper was still there.
���What the hell was that?��� she asked.
���The past five years of my life,��� he said.
���Do you love her?��� she asked.
���Yes the absolute best I know how,��� he said, ���I���m fucked up, this is what I do, I don���t want to love anyone again.���
���So why am I here?���
���To fill the void,��� he laughed.
���Do you want me to stay?���
���No, but a blow job would be nice,��� he said and grabbed a beer and a pill. ���But that���s all it���ll be.���
���I’m game,��� she smiled.
���I don���t give back.���
���I don���t care,��� she went down, and he felt nothing at all, just numb.
���What the hell?���
���That ever happen before Links?���
���No,��� he said looking embarrassed.
���I think she broke you,��� she smiled. ���I���m going to go, when you want to see me call, but make sure that���s working.���
* * *
Lucas was in shock, ���Jose if you get a chance or have a few minutes stop over.���
Jose stayed with Lucas. And Tessa with the exhausting help from her mother passed her boards. She���d been working as a student nurse at a hospital in Ithaca. She was now licensed and worked every chance she got. Lucas had the piano delivered to her a week after they split, and she had mailed her jewelry to Audrianna for safe keeping. They both knew how the other was doing, and they did not try to contact each other. Jose would return Chewy every time he ran back to Lucas���s which was every day sometim
es more.
* * *
���Hello,��� Lucas said with a sad smile in his voice.
���Hi,��� Tessa said.
���Is everything alright?���
���Well, yes and no. I think we need to talk about the dog.���
���Okay,��� he said. ���Do you want me to come down?���
���No, we can do this on the phone.���
���Okay, what���s up?���
���He wants to be with you.���
���He���s yours.���
���Lucas��� he���s going to get lost or hit or taken.���
���He isn���t going to get lost,��� he laughed.
���Okay, but what if he gets hit, he wants to be with you.���
���Tessa I am leaving in a few weeks, but HE needs to stay put.���
���Lucas, please, he hates me,��� she said sadly.
���No, he doesn���t you saved him.���
���No Lucas you saved him, I just loved him.���
���Are we still talking about the dog, Tessa?��� he asked in a serious tone.
���Yes,��� she said defensively.
She was, but it fit with them too.
He laughed, ���Ok.���
���So will you take him until you leave?���
���Will you come with him until I leave?��� he asked playfully.
���Lucas stop it, besides you���ve got someone to meet your ��� needs.���
���No, that whole thing didn���t work out��� he laughed.
���Oh, I���m sorry,��� she said sarcastically.
���You should be, you broke it, as a matter a fact I think you should come up and see if it���s really broken or just misses you.���
���What are you talking about?���
���Well, hello Chewy,��� he said, ���Your dogs here.���
���It���s not funny, are you sick?���
He told her the story, and she tried not to laugh, but he could hear it in your voice.
���Lucas, you might want to get that checked out.���
���Can you come get him Tessa?��� he asked. ���Jose isn���t here, and I promised your Dad.���
���Sure.���
Tessa brushed her teeth and put on a tank top and tight shorts, she was finally down to the weight she was when they met��� actually, about eight pounds less.
* * *
She pulled in and walked to the door and knocked, Chewy barked and he opened the door.
���Come on Benedict,��� she grabbed his collar.
He growled at her and ran upstairs.
���See he hates me,��� she finally looked at him.
He was smiling at her. He hugged her, and she didn���t return his hug.
���Sorry, you look amazing, but you should probably be eating more,��� he walked around her looking her up and down with concern in his eyes. ���Are you alright?���
���Yeah, never better, Chewy get your sorry ass down here��� she yelled, and he barked.
���See he wants to be with you,��� she said and stomped her foot and he smiled. ���How���s your hand?���
���Better, Tessa you can come in,��� he walked inside.
���No thank you,��� she scowled.
���Nothing happened in our house, Tessa,��� he said, ���Come in, please.���
She stepped in and looked around, a pool table was now sitting where the piano was. She looked away.
���About that��� you should really get it checked out.���
���You want to check it out? I mean you���re a professional now, and besides you broke it. You were the last person to play with it, so the way I see it, it���s your responsibility,��� his lip curled up slyly.
���You want to play one game of pool? If I win, you get it checked out, if you win I will in my best professional judgment access the situation,��� she avoiding looking into his eyes.
He smiled and racked the balls.
���Ladies first. But only because Jose isn���t here��� he���s such a girl,��� Lucas laughed.
She broke and sunk one of each color. She chose solids. She missed
���Perfect. I���ve gotten really good at this game,��� he said and smiled at her. ���Even with one hand.���
He hit three in, and she smiled at him.
���I guess you have, I���ve gotten real good at being alone,��� she smiled and winked, ���It���s not all that bad.���
He shot another in and lined up his next shot.
���I���m so thankful that I have both hands you know especially since I have been all alone,��� he looked up at her, and she smiled, ���Two perfectly good hands,��� she said and he missed his shot.
���You���re not nice.��� he handed her the cue his eyes gazing over her body.
���Sure I am.���
Tessa bent down stretching over the table she pulled her hair to the side and hit the ball in. And turned and winked.
���Which one should I put in now?��� she laughed and looked at him. ���Hey��� if I make three, you have to take off your shirt.���
���Fair is fair Tessa, if, no when, I make three yours comes off too.���
���Deal,��� she said and sunk three, ���Lose the shirt Links.���
���I don’t think I can with only one hand,��� he looked at her.
She walked over and pulled it off, ���Better?���
���Yeah,��� he leaned in towards her and she moved away.
She missed the next shot.
���Distracted Tessa?���
���Nope, just giving you a chance,��� she smiled and bit her lip.
���Not going to work,��� he shook his head and smiled.
He sunk two, ���You���re not wearing a bra.���
She bent over and whispered in his ear ���Or panties.���
He missed and laughed and looked at her.
���The next one, you lose your pants,��� she smiled.
She missed, and he laughed.
He sunk two, ���The next one Tessa, and I get to see my girls.���
���You want a sneak peak?��� she said and slowly lifted her shirt.
���Tessa,��� he moaned and missed.
She hit them all in, except the eight.
���The black one you lose the briefs boy,��� she said and handed him the cue.
He blocked her out and finished the game, ���Time to pay up Tessa.���
He walked towards her, she grabbed his face and kissed him.
���You taste so good,��� she kissed him again.
He lifted her shirt off, and she held her breath.
���No touching Lucas,��� she kissed him.
���Tessa you have got to see if you broke me?��� he groaned into her mouth and wrapped her hair around his hand.
She pushed him down and sat on his lap and kissed him harder.
���I love you, God I have missed you,��� he hissed and then he felt wet on his face and pulled back, ���Baby don���t cry.���
She wiggled her bottom against him and smiled, ���All better Lucas.���
She stood up and grabbed her shirt and put it on.
Lucas sprung to his feet.
���Let me look at that hand. No more cast, you should be able to use it now,��� she kissed his cheek. ���Chewy ��� come!���
He walked down the stairs and walked to Lucas and sat at his feet.
���He wants to stay Lucas. I���m afraid he���ll get hit.���
���Take him with you Tessa,��� he snapped, ���When you stay, he can.���
She looked at him and smiled sadly, ���I still love you, Lucas.
Tessa dragged Chewy out the door. Lucas stood scowling and watched her pull out of the driveway.
* * *
She came home and went to sleep. She wouldn���t go there again but was proud that she hadn���t given in.
Her phone chimed:
- You ��� Tessa are not a very nice girl��� LL
- Well, I���m a good nurse I fixed you, and I���m a good girl… Tessa
- No LT?... LL
- Always in my heart trying to get you out of my head, baby steps… Tessa
- Okay, thank you���. anyways… LL
- I can���t be like them���Tessa
- You never were��� LL
* * *
Tessa woke up crying and felt for Chewy, he wasn���t there. She ran downstairs a called for him.
Jake sat up on the couch, ���I just let him out.���
���Jake he can���t go out alone he runs to Lucas���s,��� Tessa ran outside, and Kendall followed.
���Kendall call Jose,��� she yelled and ran up the road calling for him.
She was in one of his tee shirts and a pair of shorts running as fast as she could calling for Chewy.
She saw headlights on the side of the road, and she ran faster. Another car pulled over as she got closer she ran even harder.
She heard Lucas scream ���Fuck!���
He looked up and saw her coming, he ran for her and grabbed her.
���Let me go,��� she said as he held her tightly.
���Tessa no.���
