Finding Spencer

by Kimberly Knight

  “Are you just saying this because you want me and Spencer to break up?” I asked.

  “No, here,” she said, digging into her purse, placing a bottle of vitamins on the table in the process. “Here, this is from my doctor.”

  She handed me a photo. It was black and white with a black circle in the middle of it. I didn’t know what I was looking at, but it looked like something you would see when someone was trying to convince you that they saw a UFO at night.

  “Aw, fuck!” Becca said, looking over my shoulder.

  “What?” Jason asked, looking over my other shoulder.

  “It’s a sonogram. Right there,” Becca pointed to a small circle on the inside edge of the black circle. “That’s the sac—your baby.”

  “Well, we don’t know if it’s Brandon’s,” Jason said.

  “It’s Brandon’s,” Christy confirmed.

  “We’ll make sure of that,” Becca said, crossing her arms over her chest and giving Christy a dirty look.

  “We have a future now,” Christy said.

  I looked up at her, “What?”

  “You said there was no future with us in my apartment. But clearly, we have a future.”

  “Christy…” I paused, trying not to lose my shit again. “We,” I said gesturing between us, “don’t have a future. Yes, this may be my baby, but that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to be with you.”

  “Why not?” she questioned.

  “Because…I love Spencer!”

  Christy’s eyes grew wide and her face became red. “No!” she shouted, standing and knocking the chair on the floor.

  “Yes!” I shouted, mimicking her stance.

  “Look, there is nothing we can do tonight. Christy, go home. Email Brandon when your next doctor’s appointment is, and I’ll make sure he goes,” Becca said.

  “Fine!” Christy said, running out the door, crying.

  I sat back down in the chair I was sitting in. “I don’t believe this.”

  “It may not be your baby,” Becca said, rubbing my shoulder lightly.

  “What if it is?”

  “Then, we’ll love that baby,” Becca said.

  “I hope it’s not yours,” Jason said.

  “No shit.” I laughed a little. It felt good to laugh. “But…Spencer. She’s going to leave me.”

  “Does she know you love her?” Becca asked. “I sure as hell didn’t know that Jason loved me at the beginning of our relationship—even though I thought so.”

  “I knew,” Jason said, sticking out his tongue at his wife.

  “No, she doesn’t.”

  “This is what you do. You need to go tell her that you love her. You need to tell her that even if that baby is yours, it doesn’t change how you feel about her. If Spencer really truly cares about you and wants to be with you, she won’t run. It may take some time for her to wrap her head around it…hell, I think it will take time for all of us to wrap our heads around it, but Spencer is sweet. I haven’t ever seen you like this. I’ll be damned if that bitch will break you two up,” Becca said.

  “I hope she wants to see me.”

  “She’ll want to see you, B,” Becca said, continuing to rub my shoulder and back.

  “If she doesn’t, I’ll be ready with a bottle of Fireball,” Jason said.

  *~*~*

  The whole drive over to Spencer’s, I tried to come up with what I was going to say. I tried not to cry. I was a man, but what do you say to the woman you love when you got another girl pregnant? Granted, it was before Spencer and I were even together, but how could she want to help me raise a baby that isn’t hers? When I told Jason that I was going to marry Spencer the very first time I saw her, I never knew how true that was.

  I wasn’t ready to propose, yet—it’d only been a few weeks—but I saw her in my life forever. I wanted her in my life forever, and now Christy…fuck! What did I do to deserve Christy? I always thought that I was a good guy, but now I felt like Karma was trying to bite me in the ass.

  I parked in Spencer’s driveway like I always did and walked up to her door. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, and I felt like there was a big ass lump in my throat. I knocked on the door and waited. It felt like years passed as I stood there in the cold, fall night.

  The moment Spencer opened the door, everything clicked into place. I saw her tear-stained faced, and I vowed to never make her feel this way again if she didn’t decide to leave me.

  I pushed her against the partition wall between the door and the dining room, cupped her face and kissed her like she was my dying wish. As I lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around me, and while we kissed, I locked the door behind me and began walking to her room. I didn’t know where Ryan or Max were, but I needed to talk to Spencer in private.

  After closing her bedroom door, I set her down on her bed. I didn’t want to let her go. I felt like the longer I held her, the longer she would stay with me, but I needed to see her face. Her face made me happy, and right then, I wasn’t happy.

  I knelt in front of her. “Spencer, I can explain everything. Please don’t leave me,” I said, our eyes locked.

  “What? No…”

  “Just let me tell you what I need to say,” I said, cutting her off. I didn’t want to give her a chance to crush my heart even more. “Nothing else matters except you, Spencer. Nothing. You're what I want, what I need. Where you are is where I need to be. I need you here in my life with me. Nothing Christy could ever tell me would be as important as you are to me. I'm going to love this baby and be the best father I can, but I want you there with me… I'm… I’m falling in love with you.”

  “You… you love me?”

  “I do! I have never met anyone like you. I can’t get you out of my head. You’re all I think about every day. I hated being apart from you when I was in Seattle, and that was only for one day. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Please don’t break up with me.”

  “I love you, too,” she whispered.

  “You do?” My heart stopped, waiting for her to repeat what she said, making sure my ears heard her right.

  “Of course I…”

  I cut her off again, this time with my mouth, kissing her. Between kisses I started to talk again. “Spencer, after all the news... I have heard today… you just made me... so happy!”

  *~*~*

  The next day for Spencer’s birthday, I took her to Pebble Beach instead of Santa Cruz. I wanted to be alone with her. I wanted it to be just her and me. No Jason, no Becca, no Ryan, no Christy… just us.

  I already had her birthday present in the car, and as I drove to Pebble Beach, I thought about the key I had wrapped as one of the gifts. It was a key to my condo, but I realized it was also a key to my heart.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Besides Christy telling me that I needed to pay her five hundred dollars when I saw her at MoMo’s when I was with Spencer and Ryan, I hadn’t heard a word from her. It had been two weeks, and I was still waiting for her email to tell me when her next doctor’s appointment was. I was going to talk to the doctor and make sure it was possible for me to be the father. I still didn’t want to believe it.

  I wasn’t happy about being a father. I’d always wanted to be one, but just not the way it was happening. I didn’t want a baby with Christy, but each day grew closer to the day that I would hold my baby in my arms, and I had to remember that it wasn’t the baby’s fault. It was mine.

  I didn’t know how it would all work out, but I needed to turn my home office into a nursery. I needed to start a college fund. I needed to tell my parents. My mother would be happy—ecstatic even—and maybe even my father would be, too, but they didn’t know Christy. They didn’t know that she was crazy.

  What if my kid was crazy, too?

  My mind wouldn’t shut off. At night, I thought about what the baby would look like, what the baby would be like, or if Spencer would finally have enough and leave me. I thought about getting full custody of the baby, becaus
e Christy was in no position to raise a child. She didn’t even have a job, for Christ’s sake.

  “Hey, got a second?” Jason asked, coming into my office and bringing me out of my thoughts.

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “I might have something that will make you happy about your baby.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

  “Well…” he started to say. A huge smile spread across his face. “Becca’s pregnant.”

  “What?” I asked, a smile instantly spreading across my face too.

  “Well, we don’t know for sure, but she took a test last night, and it was positive.”

  “Holy shit!” I said, rounding my desk to hug him.

  “Yeah, so our kids will grow up together.”

  “Yeah…our kids will grow up together.”

  Finding out that my best friends might be having a baby didn’t change the fact that I wished the baby Christy was carrying wasn’t mine.

  *~*~*

  Every day, I plastered a smile on my face. I tried to pretend that I was okay with having a baby with Christy, but I wasn’t. I knew everyone was supportive about the baby, but I hid my sadness from everyone, especially Spencer. She had a nightmare a few weeks back about me cheating on her with Christy. There was no way in hell that would ever come true.

  Spencer was my number one supporter, sticking by my side when I thought she would run the other way. I loved her more each day. I wasn’t sure how I would be coping if Spencer wasn’t in my life. She was my world, my breath of fresh air, and even though I was depressed about having a baby, Spencer had a way of putting a smile on my face.

  “Let me show you around,” Spencer said.

  We were at Ryan and Max’s engagement party at Ryan’s parent’s. It was a time of happiness…a time to celebrate. Over the last few weeks, Ryan and Max had become good friends of mine. Max played poker with us a few times and had agreed to go mountain bike riding with us before winter hit.

  “Okay,” I said, taking Spencer’s hand. She led me around the house, showing me each room. One day, I would own a place like it. It was a perfect place to raise children. I sighed at the thought, but kept smiling, following my girl.

  I watched Spencer walk up the stairs, tugging my hand. She was wearing the dress I loved so much. Spencer made me feel good. It wasn’t just with sex, but it was one of the better ways that helped me not stress about becoming a father before I was ready.

  We made our way to Ryan’s childhood room. After looking around, I pulled Spencer back before she could walk out the door. She looked up at me as my mouth salivated just thinking about her and my eyes burning with desire.

  “Oh no, we are not doing it in here,” she said, trying to push me away. Not saying a word, I reached over and locked the door. “Babe, we cannot have sex in Ryan's childhood bedroom!”

  “You're wearing the dress again.”

  I looked around the room. I didn’t want anyone to hear us and embarrass Spencer, but I had to have her. Her legs always made me horny, and I just wanted to eat her, taste her, lick her, make her moan. I led her to a connecting bathroom and locked the door behind us.

  Spencer turned to me, and without saying a word, she lunged, wrapping her arms around my neck as our mouths connected and our tongues tasted each other. She was quickly taking over the situation. I didn’t mind, but I wasn’t sure what would make her hot and start to maul me. I was enjoying every minute of it as she ran her tongue along my neck, down and back up, meeting my earlobe.

  A shiver ran through me, bumps prickling my skin; her touch was all I needed to send me into a frenzy. I let out a groan, pushing her back against the bathroom sink. My dick was hard, pressing into her through my jeans, and I grabbed her ass, pulling her closer to me to feel the friction of our bodies that were hot for each other. She reached for the button of my pants, unzipping them while I kneaded her breast through her dress.

  I continued to let her take control, releasing my cock from my jeans and grabbing the hard length after I pushed my jeans down to my ankles. She was stroking my cock from base to tip, causing my legs to become weak at her touch. The way she pumped my shaft was sending me into euphoria. I loved the feel of her soft hand gliding up and down, collecting my pre-cum and lubricating my dick.

  At any moment I was going to cum. I picked her up, placing her on the counter and pushed her dress high on her hips. Her panties were soaked, her pussy ready for my touch. Stepping out of her touch, I spread her panties to the side, kneeling down in front of her, and sucked her sweet pussy.

  Her hands went into my hair like they always did when I went down on her, and she moaned while my tongue lapped at her folds. Licking her juice that was seeping out, the smell filled my nostrils and caused my dick to harden to the brink where it ached. I could never get enough of Spencer. She knew where to touch me and knew when to let me take control back. She was feisty, but she was mine.

  I wasn’t going to let anything come between us. I would fight for her if I had to. Christy wasn’t winning this war; I was. I loved Spencer. I fucking loved her and would beg for her if she left me because of Christy and the baby.

  Spencer never gave me any inclination that she would leave, but each day I worried. I showed her how much I loved her. Showed her how much I needed her. She was my brunette hottie, and I was lucky I found her.

  My tongue continued to work on her pussy, flicking her clit, and drinking her juices. I heard her breath hitch, and I knew she was close. I needed her to be close. I needed to bury myself in her, her body synced with mine as we made love. While my tongue continued to fuck her, she moaned, letting out a cry of pure bliss as she came, tightening around my tongue.

  I rose to my feet and claimed her mouth. I didn’t care. I didn’t care that her fluids were all over my mouth; she made me hungry for her taste—all of her tastes.

  I placed her on the ground, dug into a pocket of my jeans that were still around my ankles and grabbed a condom. I felt immobile, not able to spread my legs wide enough so I could thrust into her, so I quickly kicked off my shoes and stripped off my jeans and boxers.

  I sat on the closed toilet seat and pulled Spencer to me. I needed her to sink down on me, her hot pussy warming my dick as she rode me.

  “Always prepared, I see,” she said.

  “Always, when I'm with you. I can't seem to get enough of you.”

  “Me either.”

  She slipped off her panties, tossed them on the pile of my clothes, pulled her dress up enough to straddle my legs, and then sank down onto my aching shaft. She rode me, using her legs to push her up and down.

  “Fuck, Baby!” I groaned.

  She felt good. Made me forget my worries. There was nowhere else I wanted to be. I needed to be here, with her. She was the one for me, and I wouldn’t stop showing her.

  I grabbed her ass, my hands working up her back while she continued to ride me, milking me with her tight pussy. I didn’t want her to stop. Loved the way she was in control, using her body to glide at her own pace—her own pleasure, and I knew she was close. I could feel her pussy tightening around my cock. It was like her tell, and it was enough for me to go all in.

  “I'm gonna come,” she whispered.

  “Me, too.”

  For the first time, I came before Spencer. I couldn’t hold back, but she was quickly following me over the edge. While our breathing returned to normal, she rested her head on my shoulder and said, “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I said, placing a kiss on her bare shoulder.

  *~*~*

  I finally received an email from Christy the night before her doctor’s appointment. I didn’t know if she did it because she thought I wouldn’t come, but I wasn’t going to let her have the upper hand. I told her I would be there and then told Spencer about the appointment. To my surprise, she wanted to go. I needed her to go.

  When we arrived at the doctor’s office, Christy was already in the waiting room.
We didn’t speak to her as we waited for her to be called. When she was called, she turned to me and told me she didn’t want me in there. I tried to protest, but the nurse told me it was her decision since it was a very intimate exam.

  I didn’t care to see her. I just wanted to see the baby. I wanted to experience everything with my first child, but instead, Christy was leading me on a string. I held onto Spencer’s hand. I was so thankful she came with me I didn’t know how I could have gotten through everything without her. My leg bounced up and down, I was nervous about what the doctor would say. I didn’t know what the appointment was for, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want Christy to say I was being a bad father before I was even a father.

  When Christy finally exited, she looked at me with angry eyes and told me I needed to pay for the visit. I hated the whole situation. I never thought that I would have a love child. I wanted to get married to the love of my life and then have a family.

  After I paid, we exited the office and Christy turned to us, shoving something at my chest. “Here!” she said and walked away.

  It looked like the same picture she showed me a few weeks prior, but this time it had Baby Montgomery with the date and time on the top, and you could see what looked like a head and the body growing.

  Baby Montgomery. My baby.

  “You made that,” Spencer said.

  I looked up into her eyes; hers were glossy and so were mine. We were both on the verge of crying. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. I couldn’t fight the hurt any longer. I didn’t care if men weren’t supposed to cry. As soon as Spencer—the love of my life—wrapped her arms around my neck, I lost it. We cried together.

  We would get through this—together.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  My parents came to visit on their way to Hawaii for a vacation. I loved seeing them. Just like I thought, my mom was ecstatic that she was going to be a grandma. Both she and my dad fell in love with Spencer. They hadn’t met a girl I was dating since Trista. I wasn’t sure how they would react to their “Golden Boy” having a love child, but it went much better than I thought.