[2016] A Widow's Love

by Christian Michael

  Ever since John had died the man had relentlessly pursued her. Why, her husband had barely been cold in the grave two weeks before he came calling! First he wanted her to sell her home to the bank, then when she refused that, he wanted her to actually marry him! He even professed undying devotion to her! What absolute crock. If she didn’t know better she would think he had a screw or two lose in his brain. Even before her marriage Ben Williamson had followed her like a dog in heat. Thankfully Papa had soundly discouraged him back when he was alive and the man was too afraid of John to approach her when it was known that John had asked for her hand after Papa’s passing.

  She thought she had seen the last of him two weeks ago when she had told him in no uncertain terms that she was not interested in him and would never be interested in him. Besides, no decent man would try to pressure her as he had seeing that she was still in mourning for her husband! But here he was again. What was she going to do with the man? He did not seem to understand what the word “no” meant!

  “Good day Ms. Lively” Williamson said with an oily smile.

  “Ms. Lively?” exclaimed the distinguished looking man who had arrived with Williamson, “Ben I thought you said we were calling on a Ms. Carolina Hendricks. Who is Ms. Lively?”

  “I am sir,” Carolina said with a rigid smile, “Lively is my maiden name. However, I answer to Ms. Hendricks. And, if I may ask, sir, who are you?

  “The name is Jones, Madam. Matthew Jones.” He offered his hand and she shook it, noting the warmth and callouses. Despite all his polish, it was evident that those hands belonged to a working man. “Please pardon the intrusion. We were hoping to speak with you about something of a sensitive nature.”

  “Yes,” interjected Williamson looking peevish at the fact that Jones would dare to interrupt him. Clearing his throat, he looked back at Carolina with a smile which made her want to shudder with distaste. “This is important business. May we come in?”

  Carolina inwardly suppressed a sigh, “Please do. Come in and sit down.” As she gathered their coats and hats, she said, “I will call for tea. Excuse me for just a moment.”

  Although she could have rung the bell to summon Viola, the young woman John had hired to help her around the house before his death, Carolina opted to go to the kitchens herself to gather her composure. Truth was, she didn’t need the help but Viola was a sweet heart and Carolina knew she needed the money she was paid so the young girl could help her mother. So she kept her on and as the months passed Viola had become more of a companion and friend than a maid. She had grown close to Viola’s mother, Mary, as well. The woman was in frail health but she loved to fuss after Carolina like a protective mother hen. Since Carolina had never really experienced the love of a mother, Mary’s nurturing was like a soothing balm to her hurting heart. She thanked God for the pair every day.

  “Vi, dear, where are you?” Carolina called as she headed towards the back of the house to the kitchens.

  “I’m here Caro.” Vi replied, “I came in through the back way and saw Mr. Snake coming up the road with that other man. My but he’s a handsome one, isn’t he?”

  “I don’t know Vi, I never thought Snake, as you call him, would catch your eye.” Carolina teased.

  “Oh you! You know I meant the other man. As if I would ever take a second look at Snake. Honestly!” Vi said, shaking her head at Carolina’s baiting.

  “Yes,” Carolina mused “Mr. Joneses certainly is handsome, I grant you that.” There’s something about him that makes my heart flutter too. Carolina started. Where did that come from? Since when does any man but John make my heart flutter? Oh John, I miss you so! I wish you were here; I really do not want to deal with that snake right now! But Carolina knew such wishes were in vain. She had to deal with the two men waiting in her receiving room and she couldn’t hide any longer. Viola’s voice pulled her back from her thoughts.

  “I’ve already brewed the coffee Caro and I will heat up the little cakes mama made and bring them in shortly. Once I saw those men coming up the road I started on the coffee.”

  “You’re an angel, Vi. Thank you! Wish me luck.” Carolina squared her shoulders, put a smile on her face and heading back to the receiving room.

  As she entered the room, both men stood up and waited until she had seated herself across from them before sitting down again. They made small talk about the weather while they waited for Viola to appear with the service and cakes. Once the cakes were parceled out and the coffee had been poured and creamed and sweetened to everyone’s taste, Carolina, anxious to get the men out of her house began the conversation anew.

  “Now, gentlemen, how can I be of service to you?”

  Williamson started, “Well you see Ms. Lively -”

  “I have told you a couple times now, Mr. Williamson, my name is Ms. Hendricks. I would appreciate it if you would remember that.” Carolina said tersely.

  Williamson flushed a dull red and mumbled an apology with a side glance at Mr. Jones. “Yes. Ms. Hendricks. So sorry. As I was saying, there seems to be a problem with your finances Ms. Li-I mean, Hendricks.”

  Carolina furrowed her brows in confusion “What sort of problem, Sir? As I understand it, and as Mr. Hawthorne explained it to me, my husband’s mill brought us steady income and we – well I – am now well off. John managed our funds well and there was a substantial amount in savings too. Neither are we indebted to anyone. There should be no problem with my finances.”

  “Well that’s the thing,” Williamson said, “There was money in your account and the mill did leave you a substantial amount to live quite comfortably for several years. However, as you instructed us, we have been drawing money from your account to cover your house and assets the last few months. But since the mill was destroyed in the fire and there is no other source of income, your account is very close to being drained. If you don’t sell your assets or your home to bring in some income you will be penniless in a few months’ time. And pardon me for being frank but even if you sell all your assets, the money from that will only last for so long without another source of income.”

  “My husband invested wisely in several ventures that paid well, what happened to the income from that?” Carolina demanded.

  “Well you see, that is where I come in to this picture Ms. Hendricks,” Mr. Jones said, “A substantial portion of those investments were put into my ranch in Montana. You’re husband and I have been business partners for several years now and we have become friends over time. Your husband took out a loan with me to buy ownership share in my ranch. I was not aware that John had passed away until three weeks ago when I received a letter from your bank dated two weeks after the incident. I was traveling you see, and I did not get it when it came. A large portion of your finances went to paying that loan John took out for the share. Very simply put, as long as the mill was running well, John could pay the loan and have plenty left over. As long as the loan was paid, he got a share of the profits in the ranch. Now however, the mill is not running and the money that was in your account, which paid for the loan is almost out. As of right now, you are still receiving a share of the profits in my ranch but it’s not enough, in a month or two, to cover the cost of the loan and your home. I have come to buy you out so that you are not saddled with this loan.”

  “However,” Mr. Williamson jumped in, “That does not solve your problem. You are still left without an income to pay for your home.”

  Carolina stared at the pair aghast. “So you’re telling me,” She said slowly, “that if I don’t have a substantial source of income soon, I am going to be homeless and penniless?”

  Williamson, with a look which reeked of false sincerity, said, “That about sums it up.”

  Carolina took a deep breath to fortify herself and stood up. With as much composure as she could muster, she said, “Thank you for coming today, gentlemen, you have given me much to think about. If it is OK with you, Mr. Jones, I would like to have a day or two to think about this with a clear head b
efore I make any decisions.”

  “Yes, ma’am, that is fine. If I may, my train departs from here in the evening day after tomorrow, would it be alright to call on you that morning?”

  “Yes Mr. Jones, please do.” Carolina replied as she walked the men to the door.

  “You know,” Mr. Williamson said with an air of triumph, “my marriage offer still stands, and if you accept, we can wrap this up quite tidily.”

  Carolina stared at the man slack jawed. The nerve of him! He really was a snake! “Mr. Williamson, let me make myself perfectly clear,” she bit out, “I. Will. Never. Marry. You. Never. Do you understand me? N-E-V-E-R, never. You have been harassing me since before my husband was cold in his grave. For shame! Have you no decency? I will stand for it no more. Do not ever propose such a thing to me again!”

  She watched as the snake’s face turned a livid purple and he nearly shook in rage but she did not back down.

  He leaned in close and said, “We will see, Madam, just you wait.” With that he turned on his heel and walked out the door, jamming his hat on his head as he went.

  Carolina turned toward Mr. Jones with a weary sigh. He was staring at Mr. Williamson retreating back in shock.

  “Actually ma’am,” he said softly, “There is one other option. I considered it on the way here and I think you might find it a suitable alternative if you find yourself with no other option. John invested with me the year before your marriage and at that time you were still a teacher. He told me about the work you were doing in that old school house. Right darn proud of you, he was too, Ma’am. I have a daughter who is about school age. However she is somewhat, special, you might say. She’s a bright child but very introverted and shy. She simply can’t go to school as normal, she would never be able to learn properly with other children around. I have tried to hire some tutors to teach her but either she doesn’t like them or they don’t like her – somehow there’s always some kind of issue. If you are as good as John said you are, I would like it if you would consider helping me with her as a live-in governess. Of course, it would be a trial period initially to see if you two will get along, but if you do, it would really help us out.”

  “I don’t know, Mr. Jones,” Carolina replied, “I won’t say no right now, I will consider it, but more than likely, I won’t be able to come. I have lived here all my life and I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”

  “I understand Ms. Hendricks,” Jones said as he turned to leave, “I just wanted to put the option on the table. Good day, Ma’am. Take care of yourself.”

  As soon as he left, Vi came rushing into the room wringing her hands. “Oh Caro!” she cried “I heard what they said. What are you going to do?!”

  Carolina swayed and leaned against the door and stared at the hand that was still clutching the knob. Her eyes caught on the simple band on her ring finger. “I don’t know,” she whispered, swirling the ring around her finger with her thumb, “I feel so lost.” Suddenly she remembered what she said to Mayna. Has it only been a few hours since then?! Decision made, she walked past Vi saying, “I will let you know after I pray.”

  Wearily she climbed the stairs to her room and went to her writing desk where her bible lay. She picked it up and caressed the cover. Lord, we have come a long way since I first opened this a long time ago. You have become my solace and my confidant. You have sustained me this long. I need wisdom. What am I going to do?!

  She opened the book and began to flip through it as she thought about where her life had come to. Her attention caught on some verses in Psalm 11 and she started reading.

  “In the Lord put I my trust: how can ye say to my soul, ‘Flee as a bird to your mountain? If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?’…The Lord is in his holy temple, the Lord’s throne is in heaven: his eyes behold, his eyelids try the children of men.”

  As she read and re-read the passage, her heart began to lighten and she began to relax. “Lord,” she prayed, “you are indeed on your throne. I put my trust in you and I know your eyes are on me. There is no need to fear. My life may not have turned out like I had hoped, especially when I married John, but I know that you are still God and will never leave me alone. Thank you my Father.” She soon lost herself in conversation with God and as she began to meditate on Psalm 11 once again, she softly sang to herself,

  “Though Satan should buffet,

  Though trials should come

  Let this blest assurance control

  That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate

  And hath shed his own blood for my soul

  It is well with my soul

  It is well, it is well with my soul”

  A few moments later, she heard a knock on her door. It was Vi with the news that the doctor had arrived and Mary Ann was coming up the road. Carolina thanked the girl and finished up her prayer before going down stairs where she greeted the doctor.

  Doctor Callow, a widower in his sixties, was seated in the receiving room and chatting with Viola and her mother while drinking some cold tea. Even for his age he was a handsome man; tall and broad shouldered, he had dark black hair which was only just touched with a hint of grey. A thin goatee framed his lips and chin. His eyes were lined with age but they held in them a merry twinkle and an ever-ready smile played at his lips. If all the gossip among the dames were true, he was quite an eligible catch too.

  “Dr. Callow,” Carolina said as she entered the room, “I am so sorry to keep you waiting, thank you for coming to see me.”

  “Anytime dear” the older man said, “you can call me anytime. What is it that you wanted to see me about?”

  “Let’s go into the library, Doctor. Viola told me Mary Ann was on her way over right behind you. Viola and Mary can keep her company while we visit.”

  She steered him towards the study and he held the door open for her to go in ahead of him. After seating themselves, the doctor cleared his throat and said, “Now then, what is going on with you Caro? You have never really been one to come down with a bug of any sort – your constitution is as steady as a horse! And I should know seeing as how I have been your doctor since you were born.”

  Carolina nodded in agreement, “Yes, I know. That’s why I have waited so long to call you. It seems almost silly now for you to have come out here for something that is so minor but you see, I have been plagued by some nausea and body aches for, oh let’s see, maybe, yes about a month now. I never actually vomited, mind you, but I usually cannot eat much until around noon time – not that I was ever one for breakfast in the first place. I’ve taken the usual remedies and concoctions but nothing seems to avail much so finally I thought I should just buck up and call you.”

  “Ah,” the doctor nodded sagely, “well, forgive me for asking this, but how are your clothes fitting these days?”

  “Pardon me,” Carolina asked, confused, “My clothes?”

  “Yes my dear, are they looser, tighter, the same?”

  “Well I guess they have been a little looser than normal, but like I said I haven’t ate as much as usual in the last month. On the other hand, maybe I have been eating more than I thought because in the last week or so they’ve become a little snug.”

  “Right then, well this last question is extremely personal but it is also important. When was the last time you experienced your menses cycle?”

  “My menses? Well it’s never been particularly timely – and some months it doesn’t come at all - but I guess the last time was in November of last year? No. No, it was December I believe, sometime around the end of the month. I remember dreading the holidays because it was that time of the month and I was really hoping to be able to enjoy Christmas and the New Year with John for the first time as husband and wife.”

  “Yes,” the Doctor Callow said, unable to suppress a smile. He loved Carolina and it was high time the child received some good news. “That is what I suspected. Well, Carolina, I believe congratulations are in order. If my suspicions are correct – and t
hey usually are – you are going to be a mother! I’d say you have about five or six months to prepare for the little one.”

  Carolina didn’t say anything, she just stared at him in shock. Dr. Callow, recognizing Carolina’s state of mind, decided it would be wise to allow her to spend some time gathering her thoughts. He murmured a soft goodbye, and took his leave. When he came to the sitting room, the three occupants looked up from their conversation expectantly. Mary, Viola’s mother, walked him to the door and questioned him about Carolina’s marked absence – she was the hostess, after all. Why was a guest leaving without being seen out by her? Dr. Callow politely declined to answer her questions but informed her Carolina was just fine and would probably join them shortly.

  Carolina had not moved since the Doctor delivered the unexpected news. I am pregnant. I am pregnant? How in the world? I mean, I know how but…I’m pregnant? Slowly the news began to penetrate her mind and she spoke out loud in wonder, “A baby, a part of John is growing inside of me right now. Oh my word.” Her eyes misted as she thought about it. Humbled, she whispered, “Thank you, Jesus.”