Seeing Your Face Again

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Ida cooed to Lisa every time they came near that end of the garden, but the children didn’t need much attention, Debbie noticed. They seemed able to entertain themselves. They were sweet children, that was obvious. It was no wonder Ida had fallen in love with them and this place, just as Ida had fallen in love with Melvin.

  When Lily hollered from the house that she had lunch ready, Melvin came in from the barn with Amos and Ephraim in tow. Ida and Debbie joined them, Ida walking at Melvin’s side as the two boys tagged along with Debbie.

  “Ida’s nice,” little Amos said.

  “Of course she is,” Debbie said. “Your father wouldn’t marry anyone who wasn’t.”

  Melvin stopped at the washroom door. His smile was grateful. “Ida tells me the garden’s coming along well.”

  “Ida’s a hard worker,” Debbie said.

  “She’s wunderbah, I know.” Melvin gave Ida a loving glance, and then motioned for the women to go inside first. Ida blushed as they entered and washed their hands. Amos and Ephraim waited patiently for their daett to finish and did a good job with their hands and faces. Ida stayed behind to fuss over the two boys as Debbie followed Melvin into the kitchen.

  Lily had sandwiches and a delicious-looking soup set out on the table.

  Melvin took a long whiff over the bowl before he sat down.

  “Don’t do that!” Lily protested. “They’ll think you have no manners.”

  Melvin laughed as Ida joined them in the kitchen with the two boys in tow. “I’m just a farmer, Lily. Nothing is going to change that.”

  “Debbie’s been college educated.” Lily gave Debbie a quick sideways glance.

  “That makes no difference,” Debbie said.

  “What were you talking about?” Ida asked as she settled into a chair.

  “Melvin sniffed the soup bowl,” Lily said.

  “I hope he likes mine that well!” Ida said, not missing a beat.

  “You’ll be spoiling him silly, I see.” Lily took her place at the table. “I, for one, will be glad to see it. Melvin’s been alone with these children for much too long.”

  Gratitude for Lily’s praise flashed across Ida’s face as Melvin bowed his head and led out in prayer. When he finished, Ida made sure the children were served before she took any food for herself. Debbie noticed Melvin and Lily exchanged pleased glances. She was so glad for Ida. Now if the Lord would bless her with such love for a man—and one who would love her back. But she mustn’t complain. She’d already been blessed above what she deserved.

  Thirty-Two

  Two weeks later Debbie drove Buttercup toward Verna and Joe’s place. The previous evening Saloma had heard Debbie mention how she longed for a long talk with Verna. Saloma had insisted on the spot that Debbie make plans to drive over in the morning.

  “But I need to help with the Saturday cleaning!” Debbie had protested. “And all the work for the wedding, which is coming up soon, remember!”

  “Sometimes other things are also important,” Saloma replied with a tender look.

  Debbie figured Saloma knew how much this visit would mean. This last month hadn’t been easy for Debbie, what with the rush at the Beiler household over Ida’s wedding preparations. Plus the other things that crowded Debbie’s mind—the continued heartache over Alvin and the pressures that came with attending baptismal instruction classes. The first class had been last week. Debbie thought her knees would give out once the moment came to stand up in front of the congregation and follow the other applicants upstairs with the ministers.

  Three boys had risen to their feet first, all of them much younger than she was. Before she stood, Debbie had left a decent pause to make sure no other boys were attending the class that morning. Ida had told her no one knew exactly who would apply to join the church until it happened. Debbie had dared take a brief glance over her shoulder as she followed the boys up the stairs. “Please, Da Hah, let there be another girl following me,” she’d whispered. Apparently the Lord had other plans because there had been none.

  Debbie had taken her seat across from the ministers and moved her chair so there was a wider space between her and the obviously nervous boys. She relaxed once she knew she wasn’t the only tense person this morning. Though her facial muscles had almost gone into knots when she’d caught Minister Kanagy’s gaze upon her. She guessed he was noting her appropriate dress and the space she’d created between her and the boys. He smiled slightly, so he must be pleased with both of her choices. Perhaps she hadn’t done all that bad.

  Debbie jerked herself out of her thoughts and back to the present as she approached a stop sign. She pulled Buttercup to a stop and checked carefully for cars before she asked the horse to move forward. As the steady beat of hooves filled Debbie’s ears again, her thoughts drifted. That first morning in the baptismal class Bishop Beiler put his baptismal applicants at ease.

  “This is all a little new for you,” Bishop Beiler had told them with a smile. “We ministers have been through this before.” Here the bishop motioned toward the other ministers with a nod. “Everyone has always gotten out of here alive.”

  This produced a few chuckles from Minister Graber and Deacon Mast. Minister Kanagy had even cracked a smile, although it quickly vanished as he studied the baptismal articles of faith he held in his hands. It was out of this little book, Ida had told her, that the applicants would be instructed. Bishop Beiler cleared his throat and had taken a moment to hand them all their own copies. He asked all of them to give a brief reason why they wished to join the church.

  The boys had answered in the shortest of terms, words to the effect that they had now come of age and had the desire to make things right with God and the church. Debbie thought she should make a stronger case for herself. She took a deep breath and began. “I’ve lived next door to Bishop Beiler all my life, growing up around his girls and the rest of the family. For years I longed for something more than I was experiencing. I wasn’t sure what that was, so I followed the instructions of my family, which included attending and graduating from college.”

  Minster Kanagy frowned at the mention of college, so Debbie had rushed on.

  “Mom was most insistent that I attend the university even though I didn’t wish to.” That she’d graduated with top honors she didn’t mention. Minister Kanagy wouldn’t be happy with that information. His frown had faded at the reference to her mother, Debbie noticed. The Amish had great reverence for the wishes of parents, even when those wishes disagreed with their values. She’d scored a point on that one, Debbie told herself. Thankfully she knew enough about Amish ways to know some of the things that held value to them and some of the ones that didn’t.

  “After I finished college,” Debbie continued, “I faced life in my world and things became clear to me. I didn’t want to live in that world, even if that was what my parents wanted. The time had come for me to make my own choices.”

  Minster Kanagy nodded.

  “I asked Bishop Beiler and his wife if I could board with the family. I didn’t ask to join the church right away as I felt my way along. I wanted to feel certainty about my decision to join the community. I didn’t want the decision to be based on the emotions of the moment.”

  Minister Kanagy, Minister Graber, and Deacon Mast had slight smiles on their faces. Debbie decided she was hitting the right buttons this morning. Now if she could just make it to the end. If she didn’t stop this speech soon, they might think her too forward. She took a deep breath. “The Lord has been with me and has blessed me. I’ve gotten rid of my car, and now I am ready to go all the way in making a commitment to the Lord and to this community. That is, if you will accept me.”

  “Thank you, Debbie,” Bishop Beiler said. “I know your story well, but it’s gut that you’ve told the others.”

  She purposely hadn’t mentioned anything about Alvin Knepp, and she hoped they wouldn’t either. For now, Minister Kanagy wasn’t frowning, and Debbie wanted to keep it that way. She also realized she need
ed to get her mind off worrying what Minister Kanagy and Minister Graber was thinking. She couldn’t go through six months of instruction classes analyzing the men’s every move. She didn’t know Minister Graber well, but she had to push thoughts of Minister Kanagy out of her mind to focus on Bishop Beiler as he read the first article of faith from the instruction booklet.

  When he was finished, each minister commented on what was read, and 30 minutes later Debbie followed them and the boys back downstairs. Everyone was staring at her, she was certain. But she kept her gaze appropriately downward and hoped her ears weren’t burning bright red.

  Again Debbie brought herself back to the present when Buttercup made a sharp turn on the road. She hung on to the lines until the road straightened out again. Buttercup settled into her normal pace, and the miles continued. Something Ida had told Debbie last week buzzed in her head. Lois was dating an Englisha man named Doug. Could that by chance be the Doug who had been her boyfriend? That seemed unlikely, but yet how like her mother it would be to introduce Lois to Doug. That was perfectly possible.

  Did Saloma know Lois was dating? Debbie doubted Ida would have told her mom something like that. Ida would save her mother from that shock for a while yet. But it would only be a matter of time before Saloma found out. It seemed like Lois was a problem for which there never was a solution.

  Debbie pulled on the lines and guided Buttercup down Verna’s lane and pulled to a stop by the hitching post.

  Joe came out of the barn, happiness written all over his face. “Gut morning, Debbie! It’s great to see you again.”

  “And it’s good to see you.” Debbie climbed down as Joe waited by Buttercup’s bridle. She tossed him the tie rope.

  “On a Saturday morning, how did you get away?” Joe asked. “And with the wedding preparations in high gear too! Verna was talking of going over to help, in fact.”

  “Then I won’t stay long,” Debbie said. “When Verna comes over, we can chat some more.”

  “Always talking.” Joe grinned. “I suppose the women have to get their time in together.”

  “Well, we are female,” Debbie said.

  The front door opened and Verna came out. She ran across the lawn and gave Debbie a hug. “It’s so good to see you, Debbie! And on a Saturday morning at that. I was thinking of going home myself to help with the preparations.”

  “That’s what Joe told me, and you still can,” Debbie replied. “I shouldn’t have come to begin with, but your mother insisted.”

  A knowing look crossed Verna’s face. “Then you must come inside. We’ll talk while I finish cleaning the living room.”

  “I’m helping!” Debbie said without hesitation as the two walked to the house.

  “Have a good talk!” Joe hollered after them.

  Debbie thought he was looking a bit forlorn when she glanced over her shoulder.

  “Oh, he’s not neglected, let me assure you.” Verna chuckled as she held the front door for Debbie. “He’d be bored with our chatter in minutes.”

  Debbie doubted that. Unless she missed her guess, even a man would find his interest held by the intrigue swirling around the Beiler household at the moment.

  Verna busied herself with the broom and pointed toward a bucket of warm water with a damp cloth hanging on it. “You can wipe the furniture down while we talk.”

  “Well, first tell me how the baby…er, the boppli is coming,” Debbie said as she tackled the rocking chairs first.

  A pleased look crossed Verna’s face. “I had my first visit from the midwife this week. She claims everything is fine. It’s our first child, and everyone knows that can be difficult.”

  “You’ll do fine,” Debbie assured her.

  “How was the baptismal class on Sunday?” Verna asked, resting her broom for a moment.

  Debbie wrinkled her face. “Your father was nice enough. I think I’ll make it.”

  Verna grimaced. “Minister Kanagy wasn’t so supportive, I assume. Minister Graber was probably noncommittal.”

  “Minister Kanagy was okay. I shouldn’t complain about one of the community’s ministers, even to you.” Debbie gave Verna a quick glance. “You know that.”

  Verna didn’t back down. “You don’t have to be coy with me, Debbie. I know enough already about the man. It’s not going to be easy with him. It’s just the way he is.”

  “I suppose so.” Debbie sighed. “He did keep his eye on me Sunday, looking for any Ordnung transgressions, I think. But things seemed to go over well enough.”

  “You spoke a few words to the ministers then?” Verna asked before continuing. “But of course you had to. They always ask the applicants their reasons on why they want to join.”

  Debbie laughed. “I’m afraid I went a bit longer than maybe I should have. More than the others, that’s for sure.”

  Verna’s eyes grew big. “In front of Minister Kanagy?”

  Debbie shrugged. “He was there, and it seemed appropriate. I wanted to let them know where I came from.”

  Verna’s voice was tinged with horror. “You made a long speech? You’re a woman, Debbie.”

  “It wasn’t that long. Besides, he seemed to like it.” Debbie shrugged. “Maybe Minister Kanagy has a softer heart than he lets on. His brother Melvin seems nice enough.”

  Verna’s broom swept the same spot on the floor repeatedly. “Now I’ve heard everything. You sticking up for Minister Kanagy!”

  Debbie glanced toward Verna. “I’m just saying. The two men do come from the same family. Maybe they both have soft hearts.”

  Verna’s voice was clipped. “I don’t believe that. Not after the way Minister Kanagy treated Joe before we were married. Remember? I went over to speak with the man myself. There wasn’t a bone of softness showing in him that day.”

  “Maybe it’s because I’m Englisha,” Debbie offered.

  Verna snorted. “Nee! That makes it worse, I’m sure.”

  “You would think so, but maybe not,” Debbie defended. “I do know Melvin spoke to his brother on my behalf. But I don’t think that would have been enough if Minister Kanagy hadn’t been disposed to see me in a good light to begin with.”

  Verna’s broom moved again. “I must say you’re seeing something in the minister I never saw. But maybe you have a point. I hope things go easy for you in the instruction class. It’s not every day that we have an Englisha girl wanting to join us.”

  “That proves my point!” Debbie pressed. For some reason she felt the need to drive home the fresh insight. Then she changed the subject. “Are you serious about returning home to help with the wedding preparations?”

  “Certainly, if I’m needed.”

  “I’d love that! And, yes, there will be plenty of work to do. But we should finish your work here first.”

  “You’re an angel!” Verna gushed. “We’ll clean the basement yet and talk. I know you haven’t told me why you really came.”

  Debbie looked the other way as she began work on the second rocker.

  Thirty-Three

  Debbie swept the concrete floor of Verna’s basement. She would like a house like this someday. It was built on a hillside but was surprisingly airy down here. Half the back side of the house overlooked a small yard and walkout. But a house needed a husband, didn’t it? And she had little prospects on that score. Debbie brushed the thought aside. There were worse things than the life of a single Amish woman. And the Lord might have another plan for her that was just as exciting as marriage—although that was difficult to imagine. Amish life was designed around family and children.

  Debbie’s thoughts turned to Verna, who was across the room also sweeping. Her friend had been silent ever since they came down here. It was just as well. Debbie needed a breather. She knew Verna would start coaxing her to talk eventually. She wouldn’t be satisfied until she got to the bottom of Debbie’s troubles. Debbie gave a dry chuckle at the thought.

  Verna looked her way. “What’s so funny? Did I do something?”

&nb
sp; Debbie laughed. “No, of course not. I was just thinking about my troubles, that’s all.”

  Verna paused. “Are you ready to talk then? You know I like to solve problems, including yours.” Verna chuckled too. “It’s about Alvin, isn’t it?”

  “Partly.” Debbie sighed. “I’ve given up on Alvin. My trip to see him sure didn’t do any good.”

  “There’s another one of my plans that went into the ditch,” Verna said. “Seems like nothing I came up with for you and Alvin worked. Getting the two of you together at my wedding, that failed.”

  Debbie wanted to protest that Verna wasn’t to blame, but her friend had already moved on. “Oh well. One must try again. If the trip didn’t work, we’ll come up with something else.” Verna was now sweeping the wall with vigorous strokes. “By the way, how did your meeting with Alvin go? He was bull-headed about coming home, wasn’t he?”

  Debbie looked away. Did she want to share this with Verna? It couldn’t make things worse, could it? She blurted, “Alvin was walking with another girl when I got there. I never spoke with him.”

  Verna gasped. “You don’t say! Nee, Debbie! Oh, this is worse than I imagined.”

  Debbie leaned the broom against the wall and wiped her eyes to head off the quick sting of tears. Memories of that morning in Philadelphia flashed through her mind. She saw again the scene as Alvin walked up the street with the Englisha girl and her dog. Debbie choked back a sob.

  Verna appeared beside her and put her hand around her shoulder.

  Debbie managed a wry grin. “It was just such a shock. I was waiting outside the apartment, and Alvin arrived…with…with this woman. She was sooooo pretty, Verna! And she had a dog—a big dog.”

  Verna was dumbfounded.

  “I know,” Debbie continued. “The dog should make no difference, but somehow it did. I guess that’s one thing we didn’t try. I should have gotten a dog.”