Seeing Your Face Again

by Jerry S. Eicher

  Verna made a choking sound. “You poor thing!”

  “Listen to the two of us,” Debbie finally said, bursting out in laughter.

  Verna soon joined in. “Are we losing our minds?”

  “We could be.” Debbie wiped her eyes. “People who go insane don’t know they’re going insane, do they?”

  “Nee, I guess not.” Verna composed herself. “This is terrible though. We have to do something.”

  “Like what? I’m not throwing myself at him again.” Debbie’s eyes blazed. She could still feel the fire of shame consuming her heart.

  “You weren’t throwing yourself at him. But never mind that.” Verna appeared resolute. “We must pray—hard!”

  “I suppose so,” Debbie allowed. She didn’t wish to insult the Lord’s power. Perhaps she needed to be resigned to the fact that He might have other plans for her.

  “Yah, you never know,” Verna said as she nodded, seemingly reading Debbie’s thoughts. “There has to be something we can do.”

  Debbie grabbed her broom again. “Right now I’m ready to forget the whole thing. I’ve already taken up way too much of your time today. I should be getting back home to help. Your mother was more than kind to allow me time to come in the first place.”

  “But this is important!” Verna insisted. “You had to share what was on your heart. And this wasn’t something you could have told me anywhere else. I’m thinking Mamm knew something was upsetting you.”

  Debbie swept while Verna continued. “You know, there’s so much about this situation that makes little sense, Debbie. I suppose I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I think you have some right to know…since you do love the man.”

  “Please, Verna…” Debbie shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but don’t make this worse by telling me something you shouldn’t.”

  Verna shrugged off the protest. “Joe’s on the financial committee, you know. The one that’s helping sort through the Knepps financial mess.”

  “Verna, you shouldn’t.”

  Verna ignored her. “Joe’s the youngest member on the committee,” Verna said, her face glowing for a moment. “That shows you the quality of man I married! But that’s not my point. Joe says there’s no reason the Knepp farm couldn’t be one of the most prosperous in the community. He says it’s been seriously mismanaged for years, and that old Edwin is dragging his feet every step of the way about making the necessary changes. It makes no difference what the committee suggests, they get the impression Edwin is disagreeing and working against them every chance he gets.”

  “What has this got to do with me?” Debbie asked.

  “I don’t know,” Verna admitted. “But it has something to do with Alvin. Joe is sure of it. The committee is talking about getting in a hired hand soon—to make sure Edwin implements their instructions. There are no funds for the hired hand, but something has to be done. I’m wondering if Alvin has been objecting to his daett’s tomfoolery when it comes to farming for years now. Maybe that’s one of the primary reasons Alvin left. Over the way his daett ran the farm into the ground.”

  Debbie wrinkled her brow. “That’s a wild guess and sounds a little unrealistic.”

  “Maybe…maybe not.” Verna sighed. “It would be nice if things were always simple, but they rarely are. And you’re right about getting back to work. We’d better hurry and finish. I hope I haven’t said anything that makes things worse for you.”

  Debbie forced a smile. “That would be a little difficult to do. But it does feel better to know that I can share my burden with you.”

  Verna stepped closer for a quick hug. They finished cleaning the basement and were on the way upstairs. Joe was seated at the kitchen table.

  “Have you driven all the mice out of the basement?” he quipped.

  “Joe, there are no mice that I know of!” Verna sputtered.

  Joe laughed. “I’m just kidding! So what’s for lunch?”

  Verna gasped. “Lunch! I forgot all about lunch. What a lousy frau I am! Debbie and I were talking so much…”

  “It’s okay. I’m not dying—yet.” Joe assured them.

  Verna raced to the refrigerator. She sent Debbie a quick “help me” look.

  “I’ll set the table!” Debbie said. She quickly fell into the old routine they’d done many times when Verna lived at home. From the looks of things, soup bowls needed to be set out. Verna was pouring what looked like noodle soup from a large Tupperware bowl into a pot on the woodstove.

  “Soup will be fine,” Joe said in answer to the anguished look Verna sent his way. “It will stave off starvation for a few hours.”

  “He’s teasing again,” Debbie said when she noticed Verna’s horror.

  “I know,” Verna managed, though she obviously didn’t. She glared at Joe before continuing to get the soup ready to reheat.

  Joe chuckled. “I think it’s cute you forgot dinner.”

  “You just like to see me flustered!” Verna accused.

  Joe regarded Verna for a moment. “You’re pretty with red cheeks.”

  Verna turned brighter red. “Joe! We have a visitor!”

  Joe looked smug. “It’s nothing I wouldn’t say anywhere.”

  “You just want to fluster me again,” Verna shot back. “And don’t you dare. Not in public.”

  Debbie smiled at their banter. She was sure Verna would kiss Joe right now if she weren’t here. Their antics made cozy feelings rush around her heart. This was what Alvin and she could have had, but now that would never happen. At least the Lord saw fit to allow love into Verna and Ida’s lives. What a privilege gaining the attention of a decent man must be. No wonder Ida had so willingly leaped into Melvin’s arms even though it involved caring for six children.

  Joe regarded Verna with a tender look. “You do make the best soup in Snyder County—even warmed-over soup.”

  “You close your sugar mouth right now!” Vern tapped Joe on the lips with her soup spoon.

  Joe grabbed Verna’s arm and squeezed it for a moment before he let go. “Is that soup warm yet? I’m starving!”

  “Then you should have hollered earlier.” Verna could change from stern expression to teasing on a dime. “Tell Debbie about the Knepp situation.”

  Joe didn’t appear pleased. “You want me to talk about Edwin Knepp?”

  “I told Verna not to share with me,” Debbie said, feeling a distinct need to clear her name on this point.

  Verna waved her soup spoon around. “Debbie and Alvin. You know, Joe…”

  Comprehension dawned on her husband’s face. “Maybe that is different,” he allowed. “But there’s not much to say. Things are a mess, that’s all.”

  “And you don’t think Alvin was responsible,” Verna prompted.

  Joe shrugged. “I didn’t know him that well, but my guess is Alvin wasn’t. It’s hard to judge a man without working with him.”

  “Alvin needs to come home!” Verna transferred the steaming soup to the table. “There! Let’s eat.”

  Joe bowed his head, and once they finished the prayer and started eating, the conversation moved on to other things.

  But Debbie didn’t forget Verna’s words. Did her friend have reason to hope that Alvin could return? Or was Verna being overly optimistic?

  They concluded lunch with pieces of blueberry pie Verna brought from the cupboard. Then Joe dashed outside to harness Verna’s horse to the buggy and Debbie cleaned the kitchen.

  Verna protested, “There won’t be much of the day left, Debbie. We should go.”

  “You can’t leave your kitchen this way,” Debbie responded. “My guess is your mother and Ida will have the house clean by the time we arrive. You know how they work.”

  “I suppose so,” Verna allowed. “But surely there will be something we can do. If not, maybe today is a day for talking.”

  “It’s been so far,” Debbie observed. “And I needed it badly.”

  Verna rushed around even faster. “Let’s get
this over then, and maybe we can do both.”

  Debbie washed the last of the bowls while Verna dried them. They came out of the house to find that Joe had both of their buggies waiting. “I thought you were making another meal,” he teased.

  “If you’re not careful you’ll be eating supper by yourself,” Verna threatened.

  Joe laughed as the two women climbed into their respective buggies. He got Verna’s horse going, and then stepped aside as Debbie gently slapped the reins against Buttercup. Verna leaned out of the buggy to wave goodbye as they went out of the lane. They made quite a sight, Debbie thought. Verna dashing down the road in front, both of them urging their horses onward.

  As they drove along, an Englisha man ran out of a roadside stand to snap their picture. Verna pushed her buggy door shut, and Debbie did the same—once she saw what the man’s plans were. Debbie lamented that some of the Englisha—her own people—didn’t practice much respect of others. She used to drive past Alvin’s place in the hopes she’d catch a glimpse of him at work in the fields, but she would never have taken his picture.

  Debbie opened her buggy door to shake her head at the Englisha man as she went past him. He had his camera lowered at the moment and appeared tempted to try to snap another picture now that her buggy door was open. Thankfully he had the decency not to lift his camera again. He waved instead. Debbie returned the wave as they raced past.

  Thirty-Four

  Fifteen minutes later, Emery came out of the barn to meet them. Debbie pulled to a stop beside Verna’s buggy. Emery had a big smile on his face. “I thought I heard two wild women driving in.”

  “You thought nothing of the sort!” Verna shot back. “You thought, ‘Oh, here comes my dear sweet sister on a greatly longed for visit.’ ”

  “How could you read my mind?” Emery teased as he unhitched Buttercup.

  “Now why don’t I get any help?” Verna protested. “I grace the Beiler farm with my presence, and my brother doesn’t even tie up my horse.”

  “You’re no longer a Beiler. You’re a Weaver!” Emery grinned from ear to ear. “Beilers get the deluxe treatment around here.”

  Verna laughed as she walked over to give Emery a hug. “You’re still the same, I see.”

  Emery’s grin remained, but he said nothing more.

  Verna turned and tied up her horse. “That’s a gut way to shut him up. Hug the man!” Verna told Debbie. “Come. Emery will take care of Buttercup. She’s a Beiler horse, you know.”

  Emery was chuckling as the two women walked to the house.

  Saloma held the front door open, and Ida rushed out on the porch to envelop Verna in a hug. “You’ve come home for a visit!”

  “Yah.” Verna held Ida at arm’s length. “And you’re to be wed to that dashing Melvin Kanagy. Now there’ll be an end to our troubles with you having Preacher Kanagy’s ear.”

  Ida blushed deeply. “You know I’ll be doing no such thing, Verna. But Melvin’s a wunderbah man!”

  “With six children!” Verna observed. “Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

  Before Ida could answer, Saloma interrupted. “Now don’t you be worrying yourself, Verna. We’ve got that all covered. Ida’s been making trips over to Melvin’s place to help out. And she’s getting so gut at it that she’s going by herself now and not taking Debbie along.”

  “Ida’s in the house alone with Melvin?” Verna questioned.

  “Of course not!” Saloma said. “We have better sense than that. Lily’s always there.”

  “I make sure of it,” Ida added. “But I do help Melvin in the barn sometimes when he’s fixing machinery.”

  “The man’s good with machinery. I can say that much for him,” Debbie got in.

  “Well, let’s hope he’s gut with a frau,” Verna retorted.

  Saloma gave Verna a hug and took her by the hand. “Come in and sit on the couch. I haven’t had you home in ‘who knows how long.’ ” Saloma wiped away a tear. “And to think you used to be here all the time…”

  Ida hung back to whisper to Debbie as the other two walked inside. “Do you think Verna has doubts about Melvin and me?”

  Debbie shook her head. “She’s just teasing you.”

  “That must be it,” Ida agreed. “Other than the workload with the children, I don’t see how anyone could have doubts about Melvin. I’m handling the children pretty well, I think.”

  “I’m sure you are,” Debbie agreed. She thought of how Melvin’s three-year-old Lonnie already snuck over to Ida after Sunday services to climb into her lap. It wasn’t approved behavior, judging by the looks several women gave. But no one said anything as Lonnie nestled in Ida’s arms. She was going to make a great mother for Melvin’s children. All that was needed now were wedding vows to seal the matter.

  Ida disappeared inside the house, and Debbie followed. Verna was seated on the couch with Ida beside her. Saloma was ensconced on her rocker. The three looked the picture of health and happiness. Verna’s face glowed as her sister and mamm listened with rapt attention.

  “Joe hangs around the house in the evenings now, what with the baby on the way. He used to go out to work in the barn, but he’s getting ready for the addition to our family. Getting himself used to staying inside, I’d say. He’s going to be a great daett. I can’t believe how I’m looking forward to the boppli’s arrival.” Verna glanced down at her midsection. “Do you think I should stay home the last few Sundays from the services when the time comes closer? I know that’s still a long way off, but I always thought it a little indecent…”

  Saloma nodded. “It depends, I suppose, on how things are going for you by then. I attended services right up to the last week, but you’ll just have to see. Bearing a child is no shame, Verna. You have to remember that. We’re not among those who hide such things.”

  Now Verna blushed. “Yah, I know. But it’s so new—and scary in a way. The midwife says everything’s going along fine, and that we have nothing to worry about.”

  Saloma reached over to pat Verna on the arm. “Da Hah will be with you, Verna. I know He will. These are matters that lie close to His heart.”

  “I know.” Verna exhaled slowly. “I suppose it’s normal to fear. Joe gives me such peace with his words. He talks and reads to us every night—mostly a short chapter from the Scriptures with his wunderbah thoughts afterward. Oh, Mamm, what would I do without him? I’ve grown to love him so dearly.”

  “We must hold all things of the earth with a loose grip,” Saloma said. “Even what we love. Please remember that.”

  Alarm flashed across Verna’s face. “You don’t think that Joe might be taken from me, do you? I don’t know if I could bear it.”

  Saloma squeezed Verna’s arm. “Nothing is asked of us that we cannot bear. Your body is going through a lot of changes, including emotional strain. You mustn’t expect too much from yourself or pay attention to your fears. Life will look different once your boppli arrives!”

  “Yah, it will,” Verna said with forced optimism. “I know it will.”

  At the sound of a car in the lane, they all turned and looked out the window. Ida jumped to her feet and raced to the front door.

  “It’s Lois!” Ida announced.

  Silence hung in the living room. Verna was the first to move. She rose slowly. She glanced at Mamm. “I’m going to welcome her. She’s still my sister.”

  Saloma’s voice was weak. “You haven’t seen how Lois dresses now, Verna. She’s gone completely Englisha.”

  Verna hesitated. “At least she’s not in the bann yet.”

  “For that I’m thankful.” Saloma got to her feet with a sigh. “Does she look too awful, Ida?”

  Ida peered outside again. “She’s got pants on today.”

  “The girl has no sense at all,” Saloma complained. “Well, let’s go out and greet her. Hopefully Daett won’t come back from town before she leaves. It would break his heart…again.”

  Debbie hung back at the front door as
the three Beiler women went outside and waited together at the bottom of the porch steps. Lois came toward them and paused a few feet away. “Okay, you don’t have to act so somber. I’m still me…and still part of this family.”

  “But you’re wearing pants,” Verna said. “You know better than that. And I’m told you were a worse sight the other day.”

  “Don’t get me started on that!” Lois didn’t look too happy. “I am what I am, and you might as well get used to it.”

  “Then come inside,” Saloma invited with a strained smile. “At least we can get you off the front lawn. What if someone drives past and sees you?”

  Lois winced. “They’ll think I’m an Englisha woman stopping to buy garden vegetables.”

  “But you’re not,” Saloma told her. “You’re my daughter, and you’ll always be my daughter. You should act like it.”

  “Like Debbie does, I suppose,” Lois’s voice carried a trace of bitterness.

  “Yah, she does,” Saloma agreed without hesitation. “And I wish you had the sense to follow her example. If ever Da Hah sent someone to guide your path, Lois, it was Debbie. She was straight from the Englisha world, and she spoke to you from her experiences. Why you insisted on ignoring her advice and insights, I can’t imagine. Debbie’s got sense. She’s joined the instruction class now, and even Minister Kanagy is seeing her gut heart.”

  Lois murmured something as Debbie stepped behind the front door and out of sight. She wished the floor would open up so she could disappear completely. That wasn’t going to happen; she might as well face Lois. Debbie planted a smile on her face as Lois came through the front door.

  “Hi, Lois!” Debbie said.

  Lois looked at her. “I thought maybe you were off somewhere.”

  Debbie ducked her head. “No, I’m here.”

  Lois flopped down on the couch with a look of triumph on her face. “I’m dating now! In fact, he’s Debbie’s old boyfriend Doug. I guess Debbie and I really did change lives. I’m her, and she’s me.”

  Saloma paled. “You’re what, Lois?”

  “Dating,” Lois chirped smugly.