Pure Will

by Kristi Pelton

  “Woody?” I asked.

  He extended his hand and I took it.

  “Will?”

  “Yep. Please sit down.”

  He slid into the booth.

  “You look so much like Gum.”

  Gum… I hated that name ever since Matty told me that was his nickname. Had to do with Denton. Dentyne. Gum…there you have it.

  “So you all were close?”

  “Our whole unit was. Trained in South Carolina first then straight to Kabul.”

  We never got too many details and now second thoughts plagued me. Meeting with him was resurrecting old wounds.

  “You were there when…he…was killed?”

  His manner didn’t change. “Yup. Gum was smart. He and Steel neither one wanted to go in. The Village hadn’t been cleared. We were all tired.”

  Of course Matty was smart. “Was it…quick?”

  “Yup.”

  There was something about Woody that rubbed me the wrong way. Answering questions about my brother’s death with yups and nopes. So cavalier in what he said. He lacked…emotion. He lacked…taste…class.

  The conversation went on for about fifteen more minutes. Camden had texted ten minutes ago that she was on her way, which allowed her plenty of time to get here. Our talk had become more superficial and I was more interested in who was coming through the door.

  I texted her again.

  You close? Send

  Ten more minutes passed. I paid the tab for me and Woody.

  Cam can you meet us at the house? You ok?? Send

  “Just follow me,” I said to Woody keeping my phone in my hand so I didn’t miss her call.

  “Sure. Will do dude.”

  Dude? The size of his truck made me laugh. It was closer to a Tonka toy than a real truck. And where the hell was Cam? Once I buckled, I called her again. Straight to voicemail. If Woody wasn’t following me, and I didn’t feel like this would bring Mom some closure, I would veer left and go straight to Cam’s. This was so unlike her. Something was up. I was feeling bad for telling her how much this meant to Mom and me. She must have been too nervous to come.

  When we pulled into the circle drive in front of the house, Mom came out to meet us with desperation in her eyes. I offered her a smile and a hug. Woody was finishing a phone conversation, and I was starting to get pissed that he was leaving us…her standing there.

  “Where’s Cam?” she asked.

  I shook off her question and secretly wished I could shake off my worry but it wasn’t that easy.

  “Something wrong?”

  “I don’t know Mom. Her phone goes straight to voicemail.”

  “William. Don’t do anything to screw this up. She’s a blessing to this family. I feel like she was an angel sent to you from Matty.”

  Screw this up? Seriously, she had no clue then how much this girl meant to me.

  Woody finally closed his car door, and I introduced him to Mom with no apology for his delay. I was ready for this to be over. There was something off about this guy.

  “Oh Woody. Thank you for stopping by. I know you are in town from Texas? Will said you met Matty at boot camp.”

  “Yes, Ma’am. Gum and I met right out of the shoot. First day. I led the troop.”

  “Where’s Dad?” I asked as we walked indoors.

  “He should be here any time. Woody, would you care for a drink?”

  “No, Ma’am. I’m good.”

  “Please tell me about that day,” Mom requested. I didn’t want to sit through it again but would do it for my mom. But, first I tried Cam again. Voicemail.

  When I stepped back into the room. Quiet tears streaked Mom’s face and my heart hurt. I didn’t see the point in this shit. Matty was gone. No conversation was bringing him back. Maybe it was closure for this guy too.

  “You…his crew…you’re our only connection to that part of him.”

  “I understand,” he nodded. “Just know that everyone loved Gum. He was a good guy.”

  “What in the hell is that piece of shit doin’ in this house?”

  My dad’s words echoed throughout the room and down the hallway. Things happened so fast, I wasn’t sure what even happened first. Mom gasped. Woody spun around locking eyes with my father’s. Blood seemed to drain from Woody’s face.

  “Dad? What’s going on?”

  “This is that shithole that hurt your girl, Son.”

  It was then that my rage-filled eyes locked with his—confusion coloring his expression.

  “What’s your fucking name?”

  His eyes darted around the room, landing on each one of us. “Maxwell Woodward. You were the old man with Cam,” he said to my father.

  And at the same time a growl ripped through my chest, I lunged for this piece of shit that had violated and hurt Camden. Finally…

  CHAPTER—Cam

  I couldn’t breathe…I mean I truly couldn’t breathe. My nose was swollen inside and my throat so tight I couldn’t swallow. I had never in my lifetime had to focus so much on a simple breath. My life, my future had just been ripped away from me. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought was to be…possibly wasn’t…

  Only an hour had passed since I first spotted Max’s truck near Johnny’s West and the thought of him being inside frightened me, but it frightened me more if Will knew he was in there. And as I approached the place we’d been many times, I only moved forward with the courage knowing Will was in there waiting for me. That’s what Will did. He gave me courage and strength to be strong.

  Then I saw his beautiful face and his even more beautiful smile through the window. He was nodding and having what I knew to be a conversation about Matty. And I prayed that this guy healed his wounded heart. But when I glanced across the table to see his visitor, my lungs were robbed of all oxygen. Frozen, paralyzed, shocked, and the realization of what was happening—I began to back step.

  By the time I’d arrived back to my car, I frantically called my father.

  “Camden? What’s wrong?”

  “Why do you think something is wrong, Dad?” I asked confused by his greeting.

  “Well, you never call me for starters.”

  That was true. I sat in my front seat resting my forehead on the steering wheel.

  “Dad. I have a quick question. Kind of a simple yes or no and I’ll explain later.”

  “OK. What?”

  “Max.” I cringed even saying his name. “Was he ever in the military?”

  My heart thumped hard waiting for his answer.

  “Yes. His father made him join the marines. He’s done two tours overseas. But he’s back now. Is something wrong? Camden please don’t cause any problems.”

  Of course it was me who was causing problems.

  “Dad. I’m coming home. Is that OK? I need a place to go for a little while.” I pulled onto Wakarusa and wasn’t sure I should be driving since the tears had begun.

  “Of course you can, but honey, Tracy’s here.”

  Though so much time had passed, it was like a knife cutting me deep once again. He chose her once and now was choosing her again.

  “Dad…” I whispered and didn’t think he heard.

  “You come. I’ll take her on a trip. Please. You can have the house.”

  I didn’t like the thought of putting him out, her I didn’t give a flying you-know-what about.

  “I can tell you are upset. Please. Go to Kansas City. I’ll get you a flight out. I don’t want you driving.”

  He was right. I didn’t want to endure the eight-hour drive.

  By the time I reached the apartment, Dad had booked me a flight. Kate wasn’t there. I quickly emailed my professors, left Kate a note that said ‘I’m fine. Promise,’ packed some things, wrote the letter that I needed to and loaded my car.

  You know those political topics that lead to debate. Abortion—the possibility of taking an unborn life vs the possible life a child could live. The death penalty—do you take a life for a life? Racial pr
ofiling—is it ok to profile a particular race for safety precautions after they have committed a crime against your country? Topics that make you think and can destroy relationships and tear apart a country…

  As I drove, those were the thoughts going through my mind. Not of abortion or the death penalty…but of what I was doing. The man I loved more than my own life had one connection to his brother…one person that was with Matty in his last moment of life. He was there when he took his last breath. Of course Abby and Drew wanted to know what he said…was he alone…did he hurt…did it happen fast…all those questions that this one man might possibly provide—and that one person had violated me. No one would ever know to what extent. But I knew I would never let them choose between Matty’s memory or me, and even more…I’d never ask them to.

  There was no way I could say goodbye to Will. If my eyes found any part of his body…I’d fall into his arms. But he needed Max. Especially now. He needed that contact. That closure. That connection.

  Will needed me too though…I couldn’t think about that right now. He needed to heal and this would help. I will go home, breathe…then decide.

  I’d only been here once, but I knew where his gravestone was. As I drove up the road, gravel crunched beneath the tires and I saw the HOCH archway. The wind had picked up and the fall leaves blew wildly across the brown grass. I fell to my knees in front of the headstone and the tears were as fresh as if they had never disappeared.

  “Matty…I know we don’t know each other—we kinda met that once with Will, but I’m leaving this here for your brother. He’s going to hurt when I leave but…I honestly don’t know what I’m doing…” my throat tightened as the words came out.

  After I placed the letter next to the gravestone, I set the rock from the gravel road on top of it. I rubbed my hand over the smooth stone, running my fingers in the grooves of his name. MATTHEW CALVIN DENTON.

  “Goodbye,” I whispered.

  Joah, dad’s long-time assistant, met me at the terminal with his ever-friendly smile and a small sign reading: BEST KID EVER! My smile broadened. His head full of hair was grayer and his wrinkles had etched deeper grooves into his face.

  “How’s my girl?” he asked, taking me into his arms.

  “Oh Joah. I’m OK, I guess.”

  He took my bag from me and we started walking out of the airport.

  “You coming home makes me smile. I’ve missed you kiddo.”

  The Lincoln sat across in short-term parking. He opened the back door for me and I swatted his arm. He closed the door and opened the front one where I slid in. Dad and Tracy could have the backseat. I was sitting with Joah.

  “Talk to me Cubbie,” he said rubbing the top of my head.

  I smiled with the nickname I’d known forever and thought about the time he sat with me and he picked it out. His only condition was it had to be something MLB related. So…Cubbie it was. Joah was from Chicago and he hated the White Sox or White Sux as he called them.

  “I met someone Joah. A guy.”

  He drove through traffic.

  “What is said guys’ name?”

  “Will.” I cringed as that one word caused a ripple of pain through my body.

  “And Will has hurt you?” he asked. “Must be pretty bad to have caused you to fly home before finals.”

  I felt hollow inside. There was nothing there…except pain…loss…

  “Joah. Do you remember when Max…when he and I…”

  “Yes. I remember. I wanted to kill the kid.”

  My eyes darted to his.

  “You knew?”

  His eyes saddened.

  “Sweetheart, I do your dad’s security. There are cameras in the hallways. You know that.”

  I stared out the passenger window. “I didn’t know that. So you saw.”

  “No ma’am. Never saw much at all except him going to your room and you going to his.”

  A nod is all I gave.

  “He was 19. You were 15.”

  “16.”

  “Regardless. He was wrong. So was your father. What does this have to do with Will?”

  I took a deep breath. “It’s pretty effed up.”

  “Life typically is. Tell me.”

  “I love him. I love him so much it hurts.” The eyes I thought were out of tears, found them again. “His brother Matty was killed in Kabul about a year ago. Guess who was in his troop or division or whatever it’s called.”

  “Max?” His eyebrows shot up.

  I nodded. “Out of all the places in the world troops are stationed. Out of all the troops in this freaking country and Max is somehow connected to the guy I fall in love with.”

  “That is pretty effed up. But why would that matter to this Will?”

  “They are a family, Joah. He and his mother and father. They love each other so much and they protect each other and they are there for each other no matter what. I felt that. I was a part of that. They loved me too,” I sobbed. “I’ve never had a family like that.”

  Joah veered off the road and threw the gearshift into park.

  “You listen to me. Your mother loved you so much. And when she died sweetheart, your father was devastated. But you were a family, a happy one. Things just went off course somewhere. I’m not happy with your father for the way things went down. I talked to Marni many a nights about what was happening—wanting to take you to live with us. You know, she could never have kids and she so wanted you to come. The one time I brought it up to your father, I thought I was going to lose my job. I don’t think he knew how to do it without your mother but at the same time, he didn’t want us doing it either. It was unfortunate circumstance. But going to Kansas. To KU. Well, that was one of the best things that could have happened to you. Every thing in this world happens for a reason. And even this damn Max thing has happened for a reason. And Max being a part of Will’s brother’s life was for a reason. And you coming home…it’s for a reason too. We just sometimes don’t know what that reason is. Does Will know about you and Max?”

  I nodded and my eyes burned. “Yes. He knows most everything. But, his family. They were desperate to speak to Max. They knew him as Woody. He is a connection to Matty. I could never come between that. And if Will knew who Max was…he’d hurt him. He’d like hurt hurt him.”

  Joah brushed a tear from my face then patted my back. “Well, truth be told, I hope that this Will gets to meet Max then.”

  CHAPTER—WILL

  Forty-seven unanswered phone calls to Camden. Kate showed me the note and Camden’s phone went straight to voicemail when I called from her phone. Ham and Eli swore they hadn’t seen her and they tried calling too. All I can think is she came to Johnny’s and saw me sitting with the fucking son of satan. God, baby…if I’d only known.

  I looked down at the bandages on my knuckles and pumped my fingers stretching the raw skin. Physical pain felt good, the emotional pain was torture. In the bedroom, the t-shirt she’d slept in was lying on the antique bench at the foot of the bed. Her Cubs hat hung on a corner of the bedpost. Signs of her were everywhere and yet she had vanished. It made me wonder if Max had done something…but she left Kate that note…

  The doorbell rang and I bolted to the door. Two of Lawrence’s finest stood at the door. Something had happened to Camden and I suddenly wanted to die. I rested my hands on my knees.

  “Are you William Denton?”

  “Yes. What’s happened?” I braced myself but knew I’d never survive if she wasn’t ok. Saliva pooled in my mouth.

  “We need you to turn around. You are under arrest for the aggravated battery of Maxwell Woodward. Place your hands behind your back.”

  I did as they said. Lucky it wasn’t homicide.

  “Aggravated? I beat the shit out of him with my fists. Those were the only weapons used.”

  “You have the right to remain silent…”

  “He’s lucky I didn’t fucking kill him.”

  “Anything you say can or will be used against you in a
court of law.”

  They patted down every part of my body. The only part that I cared about was crumbling in my chest.

  “You have the right to an attorney.”

  The handcuffs were cold to my skin.

  “If you can’t afford an attorney, one will be appointed to represent you.”

  As they pulled the front door to my house closed, I saw Camden’s flip-flops next to the door.

  CHAPTER—DREW

  “Abby…baby please, stop crying,” I begged.

  My bride’s heart was hurting and I’ll be damned if I could help. It was just like Matty all over again. In a matter of about seven hours, we’d met someone that knew Matty and shared in his last moments, found out that he was the one person that had violated the new addition to our family and then we sat and watched our son beat the living shit out of him. Right now, Abby hurt for every one of those reasons. And not a ne’er one of them could I change. Add to that how stinkin’ mad at me Abby was for allowing William to whoop up on Max. But hell, the punk had it coming and I’d had that feeling inside me one too many times to count. William did it for his girl. The sad thing was, that girl was MIA at the moment and Will was losing his damn mind.

  “Fix this, Drew, please,” she begged right back.

  “Baby. What do you want me to do? Max is not welcome here and if you want contact with him, Will can never know,” I warned.

  Confusion fluttered over her face. “Max? I want nothing to do with him ever again.”

  “Then what…tell me what to do?”

  “Find Camden. Drew…we need her as much as she needs us. William needs her. We can’t let him lose himself again. She is his light.”

  “Sweetheart. I’ll talk to James and see what he can find out for me. OK? But right now, we don’t know that she’s left us.”

  “Drew! I’ve called her ten times and it goes straight to voicemail.”

  I nodded. “I’ll see what I can do, I promise.”

  My promises to Abby were never taken lightly. If I promised, I meant it. If I promised, I would make it happen. Somehow…someway.