A Christmas Prayer

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “I can’t control who my mother sees or talks to.”

  “That’s fine, Chase, but let’s just end this, okay?”

  “Fine, if that’s what you want.”

  “I do.”

  “Then I guess there’s nothing else to say.”

  “I guess not. You take care,” she said, and hung up.

  She exhaled and swallowed back tears. She refused to cry about this, because crying wasn’t going to help anything. Not to mention, she’d cried enough over the last couple of weeks. It was time she shook off her pain and frustration and got her life back on track.

  She sat in front of her computer, unable to work any longer, but just as she prepared to head into the kitchen to get something to drink, her phone rang again. Why wouldn’t Chase just leave her alone? She loved him, God knew she did, but marriage wasn’t going to work for them. As she moved closer to her phone, though, she saw that it was her niece, Courtney, and felt relieved.

  “Hey, sweetie. How are you?”

  “Aunt Lexi, can you come get me?”

  “Why? Aren’t you feeling well? Are you at school?”

  “No, I’m home. It’s too cold to take a shower, and my feet and hands are almost frozen.”

  “Why? And where is your mom?”

  “She and my dad already left for work, but our gas got turned off on Friday and we don’t have any heat.”

  “What?”

  “We have a couple of space heaters, but they’re not really helping. I mean, I’m fine if I sit right in front of the bigger one, but I just can’t take any more cold showers. I’m so cold, Aunt Lexi.”

  “You just get dressed and pack a bag. I’m on my way.”

  Chapter 13

  Honey, I am so sorry you had to go through this,” Alexis said, hugging her niece. As promised, she’d rushed across town to pick up Courtney, and as soon as she’d gotten her back to her house, Courtney had taken a hot shower and slipped on a pair of flannel pajamas and some socks. She’d still seemed to have chills every now and then, though, so Alexis had given her one of her terry cloth robes to put on.

  “I really wish you would have called me right away on Friday,” Alexis continued while sitting on the opposite end of the sofa from her niece. “You know I’m always here for you, and you can call me about anything. That’s why I got you a cell phone.”

  “I know,” Courtney said, nestling her long, thin body into the corner of the couch with a blanket. “But my mom told me not to. She said if I did, I’d be on punishment. But I couldn’t help it, Aunt Lexi. I couldn’t keep being cold like that.”

  “Of course you couldn’t, and don’t you feel bad about calling me. I’ll deal with your mom.”

  “Aunt Lexi?” Courtney said with teary eyes.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I come live with you?”

  “Well, honey, you know I wouldn’t mind, but we’d have to clear that with your mom.”

  “She’ll never let me move. You’ll have to take her to court and make her.”

  “Courtney, is the heat being turned off the only thing going on, or is there something else?”

  “We never have any food, and my mom and dad argue all the time. My dad stays out really late, then he comes home drunk and they scream at each other for hours. I can’t sleep when they do that, and last week I got in trouble at school for sleeping in class. I also failed my math test.”

  Alexis was horrified. “Sweetie, I had no idea.”

  “But please don’t tell my mom I told you. She’ll be so mad.”

  “I know you’re afraid, but I at least have to talk to her about keeping you up all night. You can’t keep living like that or keep getting bad grades. And what is it that they’re arguing about?”

  “My dad and all the women he messes around with. She also accuses him of being on that stuff.”

  Now Alexis was sorry she’d asked. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected to hear, but it hadn’t been any of this. The last thing she wanted was to have her twelve-year-old niece discussing drugs or women, especially when it had to do with her own father.

  “Can I stay with you?” Courtney asked again.

  “We’ll have to talk to your mom.”

  “She really is gonna be so mad at me.”

  “You just let me handle things. I’ll call her when she gets off work.”

  After Alexis made Courtney breakfast, Courtney laid back on the sofa and fell asleep. When she’d woken up, Alexis had fixed her a late lunch, and she’d fallen asleep again. That had been four hours ago, and Alexis was so through with her sister. Sabrina had never been responsible and had never fully taken care of Courtney the way she should have, but forcing a child to live without heat during the first week of December in Illinois was just plain reckless. Then, to hear that Courtney didn’t always have food to eat had infuriated her even more. She had a mind to report Sabrina to the proper authorities, and if Sabrina hadn’t been her sister she would have. Still, she wouldn’t simply ignore what was going on, either, and she was planning to do something about it.

  Alexis picked up her phone to call Paula, but when she did, Courtney walked into her office.

  “My mom just called my phone, and she’s on her way over here. She was really mad, and she said I’m gonna get it.”

  Alexis stood up and wrapped her arm around Courtney. “Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be fine. You’ll see.”

  They sat in the living room, waiting, and sure enough the doorbell rang. Alexis got up, ready for battle.

  As soon as she opened the door, Sabrina and her no-good boyfriend, Melvin, waltzed in, yelling.

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve,” Sabrina said to Alexis. “Taking my child and bringing her over here without telling anybody.”

  “What did you expect me to do, Sabrina? Leave her in the cold? Let her starve?”

  Sabrina squinted her eyes at her. “Look, Alexis. Courtney is my child, not yours, and if you ever take her without my permission again, I’ll have you arrested.”

  “And if you ever force my niece to sleep in the cold and go without eating again, I’m calling Child Protective Services.”

  “That’s why I never liked you,” Melvin said, brushing past her. “Always up in somebody’s business. Always tryin’ to play mommy to somebody else’s child.” He walked over to Courtney. “You go get your things so we can get out of here.”

  Sabrina pulled her purse farther up on her shoulder. “Yeah, go get your stuff right now, Courtney! I told you good not to call your aunt, but you did it anyway, and now I’m takin’ that phone of yours.”

  “You’re not taking anything,” Alexis said matter-of-factly. “I bought Courtney that phone, remember? I buy all her clothes and anything else she needs, too.”

  “Courtney, give your aunt her phone,” Melvin said. “Give her that funky little phone so we can be done with her. No one asked you to buy that phone for her, anyway.”

  Alexis folded her arms, struggling not to call him a lowlife drug addict and a lowdown cheater. “Well, it’s not like you were ever gonna buy her one. You don’t even pay bills the way you’re supposed to. You’ve never done anything except use my sister.”

  “Alexis, you need to mind your own business,” Sabrina said.

  “Yeah,” Melvin said, quickly agreeing. “You just mind your own little uppity business.”

  “Say whatever you want, Melvin, but you and I both know that if you were helping my sister, your heat wouldn’t be shut off. She also wouldn’t have had to ask me to pay your electric bill last week.”

  Melvin tossed Sabrina a dirty look. “I thought you told me you borrowed that money from one of your friends.”

  Sabrina ignored him. “Courtney, I said get your things so we can go. Do it now! And didn’t I tell you to give your aunt her phone back?”

  Courtney gazed at Alexis, reluctantly passed her the phone and then went into the guest bedroom.

  “Sabrina, did you hear me?” Melvin asked.

 
“Yeah, I heard you, but my friend didn’t have it.”

  “So you went ahead and asked this thing right here, even though I’ve told you I don’t want her handouts.”

  Alexis wondered if she was daydreaming. Melvin didn’t pay any bills, but he was dictating who Sabrina borrowed money from? This was like watching some outrageous comedy show, except there wasn’t a thing funny about it.

  Alexis tried to calm herself down and speak a little softer than she had been. “Look, Sabrina, why don’t you just let Courtney stay here for a few days. At least until you get your heat back on.”

  “Our heat is back on. Or at least it will be by this evening.”

  “Really? How?”

  “How do you think, Miss Know-It-All?” Melvin chimed in. “With money.”

  “Surely not with yours. And to tell you the truth, I don’t believe a word you’re saying. Not either of you.”

  “Believe what you want!” Sabrina spat. “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

  “Well, you kinda do. Because if that heat isn’t on, and you take Courtney out of here, I’m calling the authorities.”

  Melvin laughed. “This trick right here is somethin’ else, and that’s why I told you not to ask her for anything.”

  Alexis lowered her eyebrows. “You know what? I want you outta here, Melvin. Get out of my house, and don’t ever bring your worthless behind back here.”

  “I never wanted to come here in the first place. The only reason I’m here is to get my daughter. Now, for the last time, Courtney, you get your stuff together and get out here!”

  Alexis stared at Sabrina. “So you’re really gonna make Courtney suffer? You’re gonna make her sleep in that cold house?”

  “Girl, didn’t I tell you the bill was paid? Are you deaf?”

  “No, but I don’t believe you, either. You’ve lied about bills being paid before.”

  “Well, I’m not lying now.”

  Courtney came out of the room with her bag. She carried her coat on her arm, though. Alexis was sure she hadn’t put it on because she was hoping that at some point her parents might say she could stay.

  “I’m not letting you take her back to that icebox, Sabrina,” Alexis said.

  “You make me sick, Alexis!” Sabrina opened her large handbag, pulled out a receipt, and jammed it against Alexis’s chest. When it fell to the floor, Alexis picked it up. Surprisingly, it really was a receipt stamped with today’s date.

  “Satisfied?” Sabrina said. “Is that enough proof for you, Judge Judy?”

  “I really wish you would let her stay with me for a while,” Alexis said, trying her best to sound as cordial as possible. “I’ll take good care of her, and it will also give you guys a chance to get on your feet.”

  “We don’t need any help from you,” Melvin said, walking down the hallway to the front door and opening it. “Let’s go, Sabrina and Courtney.”

  “Aunt Lexi?” Courtney said with pleading eyes.

  Alexis hugged her. “I’ll call you later, and you’ll be fine.”

  “On whose phone?” Sabrina asked. “ She just gave you back the phone you bought for her, and you certainly won’t be calling her on mine. Courtney is my daughter, and I want you to stay away from her.”

  Sabrina grabbed Courtney by the arm and snatched her toward the hallway. Courtney burst into tears, and when the door closed, Alexis did the same. She’d told herself she wouldn’t cry about anything today, but now here she was. Her poor niece was living an awful life, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. Alexis could make a complaint to CPS the way she’d threatened, but she just didn’t feel right about turning in her sister. If she did, their relationship would be over for good.

  Alexis sat back down on the sofa, totally beside herself. It just seemed that if there wasn’t one thing there was another. She felt as though she’d lost everyone, and as she scanned the photos on her fireplace mantel, her spirit dropped to an all-time low. First, she stared at the one of her, Sabrina, and their parents when she and Sabrina were only one and three years old. Then she looked at her parents’ wedding photo, but soon moved on to a photo of just her and her mom, the one that had been taken about a year before her mom had passed. After that, she gazed at three different photos of Courtney: one from when she was a newborn, one when she was in kindergarten, and one from the birthday party Alexis had given for her back in May. She looked so happy.

  Alexis scanned the photos back and forth, but then she glanced at the photo of her and Chase on the far end. She’d accompanied him to one of Borg-Freeman’s executive dinners, and they’d hired a photographer for it. Chase was so handsome and very kind, and she remembered how she’d felt like Cinderella at the ball.

  But that was the past.

  So she got up, turned out the light in the family room, grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen, and went to her bedroom. Normally, she debated whether she needed to take a sleeping pill, but not tonight. It was barely after five, yet she opened the bottle and swallowed two of them as quickly as she could. She didn’t care how early it was. All she knew was that she didn’t want to feel any more pain. She didn’t want to think about the fact that she was alone and unhappy or that her feelings of depression were getting worse. So much so that it was starting to scare her. She didn’t want to die, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about how pain-free she would be. What was strange was that even though she had these kinds of thoughts, she was sure no one around her had ever suspected it. Maybe the reason they hadn’t was because Alexis only allowed them to see what they were used to: the strong, determined, and highly independent woman they’d always known her to be. Of course, she’d shared with Paula and Chase that the holidays were very hard for her, but mostly what she did was smile and laugh the way everyone expected her to. For the most part, she appeared to be happy, and she saved her moments of deep sadness for when she was locked away at home. Like now.

  Soon, though, she’d be fast asleep, and she wouldn’t feel a thing. At least not until tomorrow.

  Chapter 14

  Alexis forced her eyes open, but in all honesty, she dreaded facing another day. She wasn’t in the mood, but she sat up anyway to check her phones. She only did it, though, in case Courtney had tried to contact her. Alexis wasn’t sure how Courtney would be able to, since she no longer had her cell phone, but there was a chance she might use someone else’s if she needed Alexis. However, after checking the caller ID screens on both her home phone and her smartphone, she saw nothing. Not a single person had called her. Finally, she checked her email and saw that Tracey needed answers to a few questions, and that she’d also sent information on two new speaking engagement requests. Tracey was truly amazing and had been such a godsend for seven years. She had a full-time job working as a marketing specialist, but she still worked part-time for Alexis. She was also a great friend, someone with a truly kind heart, and Alexis wasn’t sure what she would do without her.

  Alexis sat on the side of her bed, thinking about the day before, and it wasn’t long before she thought about Chase and their breakup. It almost didn’t seem real, but Alexis knew it was very real, because she had been the one to end it. He hadn’t dropped by to get his ring, but if he didn’t come pick it up by early next week, she would take it to his office and leave it with his executive assistant. He also had several pieces of clothing in her closet, but instead of taking those to his place of business, she would mail them to his home. It was funny how quickly and drastically life could change. One minute she’d been happily engaged to one of the most eligible bachelors in town, and the next, she’d become miserably single. It was just the way things tended to work out for her these days, so she shouldn’t have been surprised.

  Then, adding insult to injury, Alexis thought about Courtney and her run-in with Sabrina and Melvin again. She knew they were Courtney’s parents, and that she didn’t have a lot of say-so in the way they were raising Courtney, but she couldn’t help worrying about t
he kind of life they were subjecting her to. It was so unfair to Courtney, and she hadn’t asked to be treated this way. She also hadn’t asked for a mother who basically had done nothing except party from the time her daughter had been born. Sabrina would leave Courtney with their mom to babysit, and there were times when she hadn’t come back for days. She would leave and act as though she didn’t have a child, and that had always annoyed Alexis. Their mother hadn’t done much complaining, but Alexis had felt that Sabrina should have spent a lot more time with Courtney. She’d also thought that if Sabrina didn’t want to take care of her own daughter, she could have at least given their mom a break sometimes and allowed Alexis to keep her. But Sabrina had rarely allowed her to because of how strained their own relationship had been. Thankfully, Courtney and Alexis had still become very close, since Alexis had spent lots of time with her at their mom’s house. Sadly, though, now that their mom was gone, Alexis only got to spend quality time with her niece every now and then. After yesterday, her visits with Courtney were likely to lessen even more.

  So there it was. No future husband, no mother, and no niece.

  Alexis walked through her house, looked out the window, and saw that it was snowing. She’d heard yesterday during the weather report that there was a chance of it, but she hadn’t thought they’d get much of anything. It was coming down pretty good, too, and although the snow was beautiful, Alexis was glad she didn’t have to be out in it.

  She peered out the window until her phone rang. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, but when she went back into her bedroom and saw that it was Paula, she answered the call.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “How are you?”

  “Don’t even ask.”

  “Uh-oh. What has Mommy Dearest done now?” Paula asked, laughing.

  “To make a long story short, she faked a few stroke symptoms, called Renee to the hospital, and Chase and I broke up.”