Say It Again

by S. Moose

  “How are you?”

  “Not good,” I truthfully tell him. “Everything sucks right now.”

  “Why?”

  I explain the situation at my old job, and with Jacob. Nathan listens to what I’m saying and places his arm around my shoulders. It feels nice talking and walking with him. This is what my dad and I used to do when he was alive.

  We get to a park and there’s a bench by the water. It seems peaceful here. As soon as we sit down, the tears I’ve been holding in since last night run down my face. I hate crying over this. There’s nothing that can be done so I need to be strong and move on.

  “I’m a good person,” I murmur, “and I deserved that job, but I had to quit. I had to destroy my future to hide what I did in the past.”

  “Cameron, I know I’m not your dad, and you don’t have to listen to the advice I’m about to give.” He turns to look at me and waits a few moments before talking. “I’ve known you for almost five years and I’ve seen you grow. You lost your parents at a young and fragile age, and you still managed to graduate high school and go to a great college. You’ve accomplished so much in your young age. You made a mistake and that mistake has followed you here. Now, do I think you should’ve quit? No, sweetheart, I don’t. You’re right. You do deserve that job. You deserve everything life has to offer you.”

  “But, if I go back and talk to Shayna, Mitch’s just going to ruin my life. He’s going to do everything he can to hurt me. I don’t need Jacob seeing that mistake. I don’t need the embarrassment because I’ve been there already and all the names I was called. It was like what I did was truly awful. We were dating and I sent him a selfie. Sure it wasn’t appropriate, but I thought I trusted him.”

  “He’s the one who messed up. Not you. The girl, wait, the woman I know won’t stand for this. The woman I know fights for what she wants. You’re a fighter, Cameron Pratt, and you’ll fight for what’s right.”

  “I don’t know what that is though,” I cry and lean my head against his shoulder. “How will I be okay?”

  “You just will be. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. Look deep into your heart and find the answers that way. Don’t let Mitch win. If you do, then who are you really?”

  This hits me hard. He’s right. If I let the past control my present and future, then really who am I?

  “Thanks, Nathan.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  We sit on the bench for a little longer and I feel at peace for the first time in weeks.

  Stepping foot into Valentine Financial, I ignore Sam’s voice, calling for me, and go straight to the elevator and press the seventh floor. Pressing down my black pencil skirt, I take a few deep breaths and repeat in my head what I’m going to say. The ding alerts me I’ve reached the floor and I march straight to Mitch’s office. Without knocking, I open the door and see he’s with Shayna.

  Perfect.

  “Excuse me?” he says, getting up from my desk, and comes around it. “You don’t belong here anymore.”

  “You do not get to talk,” I sternly say to him. “I’m done, Mitch. There’s nothing you can do anymore to hurt me. So you have a picture of me that I sent to you in confidence because we were dating and I really liked you, but foolish me. You almost got me to leave college before graduation and you got me to quit my job without notice.”

  “What is going on here?” Shayna gets up and crosses her arms. “Someone better explain.”

  “Mitch and I dated a few years ago. Things were going pretty well, until he broke my trust by showing his friends a topless selfie I took of myself.”

  “Mitch!”

  “Take it easy, Aunt Shayna. I can ruin you, Cameron, and you know it. Don’t think you can stand here in my office and order me around. You’re nothing and will always be nothing.”

  “No.” I poke my finger against his chest. “You’re a sad fucking excuse of a man and deserve nothing.” I turn and look at Shayna. “I’m sorry about quitting without reason, but now you know why. Thank you for the opportunity to work for you, but I want to leave on good terms.”

  “Cameron,” she starts to say, but Mitch interrupts her.

  “No, Aunt Shayna. Don’t listen to her.”

  “You tried blackmailing this poor girl and for what?” Shayna scoffs and shakes her head. “I’m so disappointed in you.” Mitch sinks back against the desk and stays quiet. “Cameron, come back and work for me. I’m sorry about all of this.”

  “It’s not your fault, and I won’t come back to work for you. It’s nothing against you or your company. I think I need to do something else.”

  “Of course. I wish you the best, dear.”

  I smile and leave the office with renewed confidence and power. Nathan’s right. I’m going to fight for what I want and for what I deserve.

  IT’S BEEN A long few days. After dealing with the babysitter, Kyle’s mom, Helen, recommended, I nearly fucking lost my temper after hearing her excuses for not watching him. The most important thing is he’s better and back home.

  He was severely dehydrated and had an infection. With fluids and medicine, he was able to fight it and had to stay in the hospital for three days. People came to see him and brought gifts. He felt like it was his birthday. At least he was in good spirits. The only person that didn’t come was Cameron. I knew she was shocked when I had Helen with me. It was a dick move to bring her along, but I don’t regret it.

  I can’t shake off what happened between us in my yard. Seeing her like that, broken and lost, fucking kills me. I should have ran after her and made her come in. Something stopped me and I regret it.

  Getting into bed after checking on Carter, I lie there and try to get sleep. I’m not going back to work for another few days since Carter’s still a little weak. All I can think about is Cameron and seeing her. The way her jeans hugged her ass and how her cleavage was out in the shirt she had on. She’s even more beautiful, if that’s possible. I didn’t understand the idea of giving my heart to someone until Cameron.

  When she became my girlfriend, it felt as if my life was coming together. I had Carter, a great job, and family, but there was still something missing and that missing piece was Cameron.

  But, I need stability and trust in a relationship. Cameron’s accusation and assumption cost us our relationship.

  The doorbell rings and I look at the time. It’s almost midnight. I rush downstairs and look out before opening the door.

  “Grace? What’s going on?”

  “I’m here to relieve you.” She smiles and walks into my house.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Go to Mom and Dad’s house and I’ll stay with Carter. Trust me.”

  I’m hesitant and not sure what’s going on. I don’t want to leave Carter, but if Grace is over here and asking me to go over then something’s going on.

  “I’m not in the mood for games, Grace. Why do I need to go to Mom and Dad’s?” I’m leaning against the wall with my arms folded across my chest. Between the break up and Carter in the hospital, I have no patience for anything.

  “It’s Aiden. He came over drunk as can be and I can’t deal with him so I left him in my room. Go and help him.”

  Knowing that when Aiden gets drunk it’s never a good thing, I grab my keys and head to my parents.’ It’s weird that he went to Grace and didn’t call me. Before I pull into their driveway, I reactivate my Facebook and go to Cameron’s page. The last time she posted was two days ago.

  Life works in mysterious ways. I’m about to embrace a new life and I can’t wait.

  If her new life is with someone else, then I’m happy for her. She’s made it clear there’s nothing here for her.

  Getting out of my car, I hurry inside and to Grace’s room. When I walk in, there are candles lit with rose petals on the bedroom floor and the bed. Cameron’s getting up from the chair and slowly walks toward me. I’m not sure what to say or what to think. Seeing her in a short black dress, with her ha
ir cascading down her body, makes my heart jump out of my chest. She’s beautiful.

  And she’s here.

  “I’m sorry for fooling you into coming here. I know we said no games and to always be honest with each other. I figured we can let this one slide.” I’m not sure how to respond. My hands go into my pockets and I wait for her to say something else. “I made a mistake, Jacob. A huge mistake. Letting you go was the dumbest mistake and I should’ve listened to you. I overreacted because I’ve been hurt so many times in the past. Then Mitch came back into my life and he threatened to ruin everything I’ve built. I had to protect you along with my heart, but my heart doesn’t need protection because you would never hurt me.”

  “No,” I force out. “No, I wouldn’t.” I stand still and wonder if this is her goodbye or what she’s planning to do. “You mentioned him before. I never asked because I figured you’d tell me on your own. So, tell me.”

  “After Cooper, I met Mitch and really liked him. I trusted him. One night I thought it would be cute to send him a selfie. I was topless and in panties. Well, he saved it to his phone and thought it would be funny to show his friends and to everyone around campus. His ex-girlfriend got the picture and posted it around campus. It ruined me and almost cost me my place in college. I had to make a plea to the board and president of the college. He understood and had all the pictures taken down. Mitch’s ex was on probation, same with me. I thought graduating and leaving Syracuse would put an end to all of this, but then he came back, threatened me and my job, and I stepped down.”

  “Cameron, I already knew. Cooper told me and it never changed how I felt about you. I’m pissed that he did this to you. I’m pissed that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

  “I know and I’m so sorry. I’m glad Cooper told you. Honestly, I’m so embarrassed and I didn’t want you to think badly of me.”

  “You should’ve trusted me, Cameron,” I tell her, rubbing her arms and making sure she hears everything I’m saying. “You made a mistake. It doesn’t define you or make me love you less.”

  “I know. I understand that now. So, believe me when I tell you that I’m doing what I need to and I’m fighting for what I want and what I want is you, Jacob. I want you.”

  I’M POURING MY heart out to Jacob. Even if nothing’s going to happen, I need him to know how I feel, how he’s the one who makes my heart beat, and when we’re together I feel alive. When he says he wouldn’t hurt me, I hear the ache in his tone. His body’s rigid and his eyes are focused on me.

  “You picked up the broken pieces and even though I pushed you away, you still forced yourself into my life and put me back together. Even though you left and didn’t call me, I should’ve called you.” I pause to wipe the tears from my eyes. When I look up into Jacob’s eyes, I see the tears too and it nearly breaks me. “I love how you make me feel. I love being in your arms and feeling safe. For the first time since my parents died, I feel at home. You’re my home, Jacob. I love you, and I’m so sorry for everything.”

  My hands cup his face and I can see everything he’s feeling.

  “Be with me. Not her. Love me. Stay with me. Forgive me. Understand that I’m going to make mistakes and I need you to be patient. Understand I made a mistake in the past, but I’m not that girl anymore. Just love me.”

  “Her?” A small smirk comes on his face and I’m ready to cry. I’ve never seen Jacob cold and mean, but I have a feeling this is where he’s going. Removing my hands from his face, he keeps his eyes on mine, watching me, studying me, taking me in.

  “You’re moving on and it kills me because I finally realize I don’t want anyone else. All I want is you.”

  “Say it again.”

  “I don’t want anyone else. All I want is you.” Tears are rolling down my face and he’s gently wiping them away. I’m not sure what he’s going to say. The silence between us is killing me.

  “That’s all I’ve wanted to hear. I love you, Cameron, and you’re the only one I want. That woman was a friend. She’s Kyle’s mom and came with me because when you called I was helping her move around furniture. I promise there’s nothing going on between her and me.”

  “So you’re not dating anyone else? You didn’t forget me?”

  “As much as I tried to forget you, I realized I can’t and I won’t. You’re all I want.” His lips crash into mine, as he brings my body close to his. “Let’s go back home.”

  Home.

  RESTING MY FOREHEAD against his shoulder, I cling on tightly and relish in this moment. This perfect moment.

  Our moment.

  I lean my head back and stare into his warm eyes. He’s perfect, so sweet, so gentle, and all mine. It’s scary to be this much in love with someone. When you find love, everything seems to make sense. In all the complications of the world, being with Jacob makes those difficulties seem conquerable. Love isn’t something that you find. Love finds you, and whether you’re ready or not, it’ll be the best thing that happens.

  “You scare me, Jacob,” I admit.

  “You drive me crazy. You bring out the best in me, and having you in my life feels complete. Plus, you’re sexy as hell and turn me on.” His lips touch my forehead, loving the feeling of his kiss. “Go to sleep.”

  I let my eyes drift close and rest my head on his chest. His strong arms hold me tight and I’m falling asleep for the first time in weeks.

  When I wake up the next morning, I hear the shower running. Getting out of bed, and walking to his bathroom, I slip out of my clothes and take a moment to eye fuck my hot boyfriend. His hands are on the shower wall with his head bent down. The hot water falls from his head, down his body, as his muscles relax.

  My man is so sexy.

  Silently walking into the shower, I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his back. Sliding my hands down to stroke his cock, I hear the hitch in his breath.

  “Good morning,” I whisper against his back. He turns around and crashes his lips onto mine. “Wait.”

  “Seriously?” he laughs.

  “Where’s Carter?”

  “With Grace.”

  His lips come back down to mine again and I love how his tongue plays with mine. It’s been weeks since we’ve been together and all I want is him.

  Now.

  “Patience,” he mutters as if he can read my mind. Taking the body wash from behind me, he spins me around and massages the soap over my body. “Put your hands on the wall.” I quickly do as he tells me and feel his hands all over my body. My breathing quickens and the ache intensifies between my thighs. When he presses his lips on my bare back, his hand slides in between my thighs, grazing me and then he pulls away.

  Well then.

  “Turn around,” he tells me and washes my front while keeping his eyes on me. My hands run down his hard chest and trace his stunning V. I can’t keep my hands off him. “Enjoying yourself?”

  “Very.”

  “Got to wash the soap off you.” He pulls me under the water, causing me to break out in a fit of laughter. I’m in his arms again as the water pours down both of us. “That laugh. That smile,” he says to me, “needs to always be on your face.”

  “As long as I’m with you, then I’ll always laugh and smile like this.”

  My lips touch his bare chest and when I lean back my eyes trail down his incredibly sexy body, noticing his very erect cock. Grabbing the soap, I quickly squirt some on my hand, and take him in my hand, moving up and down his hard length. He closes his eyes and rolls his head back, moaning with appreciation as I tighten my grip with both hands and continue to stroke him.

  “Shit, Cameron,” he bites out.

  Lowering down to my knees, with his cock still in my hands, my mouth plays with his balls. I love the moans that slip from his lips. I love that it’s me pleasuring him. Making sure the soap has washed off his cock, my tongue slides up and down while my hands tease him. Twirling my tongue around the tip, I cover his cock with my mouth, sliding down and back up very slowly
.

  “Fuck,” Jacob groans, pushing his fingers through my hair and slightly grabbing it. I grin at his excitement and repeat the motions with a little more speed until Jacob lifts me up in his arms and pushes me against the shower wall. “I’m not coming in your pretty mouth,” he says before kissing me deeply. I grip his shoulders and wrap my legs around his waist. “Are you still on the pill?”

  “Yes!”

  “Fuck, yes.” When his cock pushes through my sex, we both gasp, and he starts moving really fast. “You feel so good, baby.”

  “Keep going.”

  “You’re mine forever,” he mutters and nuzzles his face against my neck. His thrusts are harder and faster. The tightness I feel is stronger and I feel my orgasm about to release. “That’s right, baby. Let go.”

  With the fierceness of his tone, I let go and release the most intense orgasm. Clinging onto his body, I kiss his soft lips and smile. “Always yours.”

  A FEW ROUNDS of mind-blowing sex leaves my body pleasantly sore. Jacob’s out getting dinner for us. We’ve spent most of the morning and afternoon in bed until Grace comes over to drop Carter off. She doesn’t stay and tells me she’ll text me later.

  Carter and I are in the living room watching TV when he looks up at me.

  “Are you going to leave again?”

  The question takes me aback and I see the sadness in his eyes. When I left Jacob, I also left Carter. In the few short months I’ve been in their lives, they’ve become two very important people to me.

  “I’m never leaving again. I promise.”

  Carter holds my hand and leans against my body. It’s hard to explain the love I have for this little boy in my arms. He so easily fell into my life and I don’t think I’d have it any other way.

  The door opens and we look over to see Jacob walking in with our Chinese takeout order. The both of us get up at the same time and hug him. It’s warm and welcoming, something that I can imagine myself doing every day for the rest of my life.

  When we put Carter to bed, Jacob leads me outside to sit and we look up at the stars. It’s peaceful tonight and I love being here with Jacob.