These Foolish Things

by Thatcher, Susan

  “Rocco Metucci. Joey’s best friend. I’m sorry. Those two get to be a little overprotective. If you like, I can have a word with Joey’s Mom and she’ll flatten both of them for you.”

  Hadley chuckled. The sound went through Liz in a pleasant zinging sensation. “That’s okay. I guess we’re even now. By the way, we weren’t formally introduced the other day.” He stepped forward and offered his hand to Liz.

  “Tyrone Hadley.”

  Liz took his hand. He had a firm grip and a softness that showed these hands hadn’t been used for manual labor. She remembered the touch against her face and felt herself getting hot. She wanted those hands on her, everywhere. But, for now:

  “Elizabeth Gardner. Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Hadley.”

  He chuckled again. She felt the zinging and a desire to kiss him again. “My friends call me Ty.”

  “Liz.”

  He still held her hand and she wasn’t about to end the contact.

  “Where’s Dan? I thought I’d be arguing against him today.” Ty looked around, the action pulling his hand away from hers.

  “He had an emergency and since we’re just arguing motions…” Liz couldn’t believe she could say that and sound casual. “He asked me to pinch hit.”

  Ty chuckled again. “Let me guess. Either he got invited to the Country Club in Brookline or he finally realized that McCafferty’s hearing the case.”

  Liz smiled in return. “Both.”

  “He give you any great advice this morning?”

  “If I remember rightly, his parting words were to remind you that you lost $1,500 betting on the game and I should be the one to collect. Didn’t that kind of thing get Pete Rose banned from baseball?” Liz tried to keep it light.

  Ty nodded. “Sounds like Dan. He has his priorities.”

  Liz crossed her arms. “Well, I’ve done my duty and delivered the message.” Damn Dan for putting her in this position. She could feel the shaking beginning, not from the impending proceeding, but from being so close to an attractive man. She stood up and perched herself on the desk. Liz’s gut told her that it would be good to be at eye level with Tyrone.

  Ty folded his arms. “So, was there a big celebration at Hoffman, Lovell and Dennis? Did they carry you around on their shoulders?”

  Liz laughed softly, relaxing a little. “You were present for the only victory celebration we had. And thank you for the drink, by the way.

  “No. Nothing special at the office this morning. Let’s see. I had some people singing ‘I get knocked down, but I get up again’. Another group broke into Queen’s ‘We Are the Champions’ in a wonderful four-part harmony. The ultimate,” she continued, “was a Johnny Mercer enthusiast who treated me to a chorus of ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ in a very fine baritone.”

  Ty frowned. “How does that one go? I can’t quite remember.”

  Liz laughed. “Something about ‘when the irresistible force meets the unmovable object…’”

  “‘Something’s gotta give, something’s gotta give, something’s gotta give’” they finished together and both laughed.

  “Look, I’m sorry about your eye.” Ty offered. “You’d be the unmoveable object. Do you always stand your ground like that? I thought for sure you’d have sense enough to get out of the way. I didn’t intend for you to end up looking like Tony Conigliaro.”

  “Wrong eye,” said Liz. She raised her chin and met his gaze with her good eye, saying quietly and firmly. “I stood my ground because I had to. I wasn’t going to be the one who lost her nerve and lost the game. Anyway, as the wise man once said ‘that’s how the game is played.’” She noticed that he looked uncomfortable. Good. “You don’t hold back if you want to win.” She saw a quick look flash across his face. Respect?

  Ty smiled again and chuckled. He spoke. “No, you certainly don’t but,” He leaned in a little and spoke in a conspiratorial tone, “You and your friend held back, though. Dan got himself a couple of ringers. I checked up on you. College softball champ. Nice.”

  I could warm myself on the light in those eyes, Liz mused. She tightened her crossed legs to suppress the shaking.

  “We’re legit. Millie and I are both attorneys for this firm. You can check our billables. We played the entire season for the team, not just the one game. We just happen to be very, very good at softball.”

  “Are you a couple?”

  Liz sighed. “Why does everyone assume that all female softball players are lesbians?” If I was, she thought, do you think I would have kissed you? “Neither of us is gay. Millie has a boyfriend and I’m…” her voice faltered as years of rejection tightened her throat, “working too hard for Dan. It doesn’t leave me a lot of time,” she finished lamely.

  “Sorry. You’re right. I’ll remember that for next year. On another note,” his voice became serious. “Any chance we can settle this thing right here, right now?”

  Liz shook her head, remembering Dan’s instructions. She knew that, had she not been dealing with two of the most pig-headed men on the planet, she could settle it without an appearance. However, Dan wanted his courtroom fees and the client was happy to pursue the suit all the way to the end.

  “Today? I don’t think so, but I’ll be happy to take an offer back to Mr. Randazzo after court.” Liz offered.

  Ty looked at her thoughtfully. “Think you’re going to win?” he asked.

  Liz tried to be nonchalant. “I’d say my chances are good. My client and Attorney Dennis have made it clear that they wish to argue the motion. I’m just following my orders.”

  Ty laughed softly, another sound that had a disturbing, yet pleasurable effect on Liz. “They tried that line at Nuremberg. Didn’t work.”

  Liz laughed. “You’re equating a wholesale plumbing supplies contract with Nazi war crimes?”

  “My client is,” said Ty and they both laughed. Liz felt the familiar knot in her stomach she’d felt when he’d been tangled up with her. She couldn’t let herself think along those lines. There was too much potential pain.

  “Forgive my asking, but Tyrone is a name you don’t hear very often. Are you named for a family member?” Liz couldn’t believe she’d had the nerve to ask.

  Ty smiled. “My mother had a crush on Tyrone Power. Ever hear of him?”

  Don’t assume I’m ignorant, Counselor. “Yes, I have. ‘Witness for the Prosecution’ is one of my all-time favorites, I’ve seen ‘Prince of Foxes’ and I believe he played Zorro at least once. In addition, he was a very handsome son of a gun and I see why your mother had a crush on him. Do I pass the test?” Liz’s smile faded somewhere below her eyes.

  Ty noticed the slight chill in her tone. “You pass. I’m impressed. Most people don’t make the connection.” He smiled. “I guess I should have learned not to assume anything where you’re concerned, Liz.”

  The man’s innate charm was not lost on Liz, who squeezed one hand into a fist. Don’t let him distract you, Girl, she reminded herself. Liz smiled back at him. “A lot of people see the blonde hair and treat me as if I’m the village idiot.” Her smile broadened. “Besides, I understand obsessed mothers and how it affects their children.”

  Ty looked puzzled. “I don’t understand.”

  “My mother’s grand obsession was Pride and Prejudice,” Liz explained. Ty nodded. Liz continued. “I don’t know how many times my mother read the book and saw the movie. I’m guess I’m just happy she went with ‘Elizabeth’ and not ‘Greer Garson’.” Liz chuckled herself. “If I’d been a boy, she might have named me Fitzwilliam or Darcy.”

  Ty said so softly, Liz wasn’t sure she’d actually heard him or imagined it, “I’m glad you weren’t a boy.”

  Before she could question him about the comment, the bailiff announced, “All rise.”

  Ty and Liz hastily took their appropriate positions behind their tables. The bailiff continued the announcement and Judge Francis L. McCafferty entered the courtroom and made his way to the bench.

  “Be seated.” T
hey did.

  The Honorable F.L. McCafferty was a large man, gray-haired and round-faced. He had a pair of reading glasses perched on top of his head which he flipped down to his nose as he settled himself onto the bench. McCafferty conferred with his clerk for a moment. Liz felt her anxiety beginning to rise again. She stole a look at the plaintiff’s counsel. Ty Hadley looked as relaxed and at ease as she was nervous.

  Dan’s nemesis didn’t look all that threatening. After all, he was wearing a fuchsia bow tie under his round face. Slap a beard on him, thought Liz, and you’d have Santa. And she wanted to laugh in spite of herself.

  “Randazzo versus White.”

  Liz heard Ty stand up. He was still on her blind side. “Tyrone Hadley for the plaintiff, Your Honor.”

  Liz saw McCafferty look thoughtfully at Ty. “Not your usual caliber of clientele, Hadley. Kind of small potatoes for you, Counselor. He your cousin?”

  “No, Your Honor. Just a client.”

  McCafferty nodded. He looked at Liz. She scrambled to her feet, heart pounding. “Elizabeth Gardner for the defense, Your Honor.” Even as she said it, Liz was amazed her voice didn’t crack or squeak from the stress.

  McCafferty peered at her closely. “Where’s Attorney Dennis?”

  “He had an emergency, Your Honor and since I’ve been working very closely with him on this case, he felt a continuance was unnecessary and a delay was not in the best interests of the client. I did file an appearance.” Where in the hell did all that come from?

  McCafferty was unimpressed. “Uh huh.” He looked at Ty. “Do you have any objection to Brother Dennis’ shenanigans, Counselor?” Liz looked at Ty, who glanced back at her and said, “No objections here, Your Honor.”

  McCafferty nodded. “Very well. Let the record show that Attorney Elizabeth Gardner is here to represent the defendant. Tell me, Attorney Gardner, on what golf course or in whose boudoir is this ‘emergency’ taking place?” Before Liz could answer, McCafferty frowned and looked at her closely for the first time. He beckoned her forward.

  “Counsel, please approach the bench.” Liz did as she was told, hearing Ty do the same. As she stood before the judge, McCafferty leaned forward to study her right eye. Liz held still for the scrutiny. He sat back. “That’s quite the shiner, Counselor. Very impressive.”

  “Thank you, Your Honor. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” She heard Ty suppress a laugh and cover it with a cough.

  McCafferty smiled. ‘You look like Tony Conigliaro.”

  “Wrong eye, Sir,” Liz replied. “He got hit on the left.”

  McCafferty chuckled. “Quite so. Still,” and he gestured to Liz’s eye. “I’d hate to see the other guy.”

  “That would be me, Judge,” Ty offered.

  McCafferty’s head snapped in Ty’s direction. “You did that?” he barked. Liz turned her head in time to see Ty nodding.

  “Didn’t your mother tell you not to hit girls?” McCafferty roared, “I’ve half a mind to call the cops, Counselor!”

  “Your Honor, it wasn’t like that,” Liz began, but McCafferty cut her off with a wave of his hand.

  “Don’t you defend him, Missy!” the judge bellowed. “Do you plan to protect him until he beats you to death?”

  “Your Honor…” Ty began. McCafferty cut him off, too.

  “Not a word, Attorney Hadley or I’ll hold you in contempt!” This was too much for Liz and she matched McCafferty’s roar.

  “YOUR HONOR! WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR THIRTY SECONDS!”

  Both men turned to look at her in astonishment. Liz’s heart was still pounding and her mind racing, but dammit, the truth was going to be heard. McCafferty glared at her.

  “You’re courting a contempt citation, too, Counselor. Remember where you are. This is my courtroom and I will have decorum, Missy.”

  “I apologize, Your Honor, for the disturbance. But with all due respect, I didn’t get this black eye from a lover’s quarrel.” Liz’s voice was controlled, but loud and firm. “It’s true that Attorney Hadley hit me…”

  “AHA!” McCafferty was triumphant.

  Liz continued. “But the ‘hit’ was a collision at home plate during a closely contested softball game, Your Honor.” Liz finished.

  She thought she’d successfully made her point, but McCafferty turned back to Ty. “And now you’ve got her defending you with some cock and bull story!” Liz saw Ty get angry. Without thinking, she laid her hand on his arm. Ty closed his mouth. Liz withdrew her hand and looked at McCafferty, who had noted the gesture with a raised eyebrow.

  “Your Honor, I promise you that’s the truth. I’m the catcher for the Liti-Gators and we won the league championship because I prevented my esteemed colleague here from scoring.”

  Apparently, she had made her point. McCafferty blinked. “You’re the one? he asked. Liz nodded. “Brad Rogers said it was a big mama blocking the plate.”

  Yeah, he would, thought Liz. Ex-boyfriends can be pretty nasty.

  “To the best of my recollection, Your Honor,” Ty began, “Attorney Rogers was not at the game and therefore his information was not first hand.” He gestured to Liz, “If he had witnessed the game, he could hardly have described my esteemed colleague,” Ty slightly mocked Liz’s phrase, “in such terms.”

  “Thanks,” muttered Liz.

  “Thank you, Attorney Hadley. I hope you packed your toothbrush because that’s more than one more word and you are now in contempt,” McCafferty replied calmly.

  Both Liz and Ty were dumbfounded.

  “Your Honor,” Liz protested, “this is a gross abuse of judicial discretion! Surely you can’t be serious!”

  “Serious as a heart attack, Counselor,” McCafferty responded, still calm. “Do you wish to join him?” Liz shut her mouth. “Good. Now, the only words I want to hear from the two of you are those related to the case at bar. After arguments, we’ll discuss Attorney Hadley’s sentence.” McCafferty looked at the pleading before him.

  “Now then, I believe the defense has moved for summary judgment in this case. I’ll hear arguments, but first, tell me the truth.”

  “Your Honor?” Liz looked at him in bafflement.

  “Dan Dennis didn’t write any of these pleadings, did he?” McCafferty asked.

  Crap. “No, Your Honor, Attorney Dennis didn’t write the pleadings in this case.”

  McCafferty nodded. “I didn’t think so. I may be a fucking loon,” Liz looked at him sharply as he emphasized the words, “but Dennis is an idiot. For the past eighteen months or so, his writing has shown a suspicious improvement. How long have you worked for Attorney Dennis?”

  “About 18 months, Your Honor,” Liz answered softly. She stole a glance at Ty. His face was unreadable, but he looked thoughtful.

  McCafferty nodded. “Thought so. I remember you. I heard your moot court argument and you took my legal writing seminar at Essex, didn’t you?”

  Liz nodded.

  “Speak up,” McCafferty prompted.

  “I hesitate to do so, Your Honor, as I do not wish to be in contempt of court if my words do not pertain to the case at bar.” Liz looked him straight in the eye as she said it. She heard Ty suppress another laugh. One contempt charge coming up, she thought.

  Or not. McCafferty leaned back and chuckled. “You got me. Okay, proceed with your argument, Counselor.”

  And Liz’s first courtroom appearance was underway. As she verbalized the arguments outlined in her motion, Hadley did his part in attempting to shoot holes in her arguments. Liz stood firm, becoming so involved in the process that she forgot to be nervous or afraid, countering his arguments and objections. McCafferty asked one or two questions of his own, barked repeatedly at Ty and kept harrying him from the bench until the arguments were concluded.

  “Thank you. Attorney Gardner,” Judge McCafferty looked over his reading glasses, “I’m granting your motion for summary judgment. Both of you will have my opinion by the end of the week, although if I had my way,
I’d have the defense write it for me. Why do you work for an idiot like Dan Dennis?”

  Liz looked him squarely in the eye, fighting back the urge to kiss both men to celebrate her win, “Your Honor, Attorney Dennis gave me a job. Your office didn’t.” She turned to look at Ty. “And neither did your firm,” she said to him.

  McCafferty looked at her in astonishment. “You’re kidding.”

  “No, Your Honor. I applied for a clerkship and got a rather snide letter from your Chief Clerk telling me, in not so many words, that my grades weren’t good enough, I didn’t graduate from the correct law school in the first place and I was too damned old. Apparently, whoever did the initial screening of applicants didn’t get as far as my writing sample. Attorney Hadley’s office was much along the same lines but more succinct.”

  McCafferty leaned back in his seat. “Well, I’ll be damned. I’ve been looking for a good excuse to get rid of that snotty pain-in-the-ass Chief Clerk. I may have a job for you yet. And by the way, Young Lady,” Here he plucked at his robe, “Only the one wearing the black robe gets to swear in the courtroom. Remember that for future reference.”

  Liz couldn’t resist. “Does this mean I just earned a contempt citation, Your Honor? Will I be in the cell next to Attorney Hadley?” She heard Ty cough as he covered a laugh.

  McCafferty didn’t laugh. He didn’t look angry, either. “You two wait here. I declare a 10 minute recess.”

  “All rise” as the judge left the courtroom and Liz’s first day in court was concluded. With a win.

  She went back to the defense table and covered up her shaking by carefully putting files back into her briefcase. Her eye and head were throbbing. Liz searched her purse for some kind of pain relief. All she found were breath mints and a pack of bubble gum. Sugarless.

  “Here.”

  A masculine hand held out two tablets of extra-strength pain reliever, Liz’s drug of choice. She looked up at Ty. He had a glass of water in the other hand. Liz took both the water and pills from him with a grateful, “Thanks. How did you know?”