These Foolish Things

by Thatcher, Susan

  “I didn’t. But, I figured that if I was wearing that shiner, I’d probably be hurting, too. I can personally recommend this brand, especially for hangovers,” He said it casually. “Congratulations on your first win, Counselor.”

  Liz washed down the pills with a good-sized swallow of water. “Thanks.” She had no idea what else to say. “What happens next?”

  Ty shrugged, “I tell White he lost. I didn’t think the case had much of a chance in the first place and I told him so.”

  Liz looked at him curiously. “So why’d you take it?”

  Ty smiled. “He was my first client and he’s brought me a lot of other clients over time. I owed him one. Besides, you’ll learn that he and Randazzo have this ongoing legal feud. They’ve been at it for years. If it’s not one thing, it’s something else with those two and it’s all trivial.” His smile broadened. “Sal Randazzo will probably have you back in court suing my client within six months.”

  “Not me,” said Liz. “I’ll stick to my nice, quiet transactional stuff that doesn’t require litigation.”

  Ty looked at her, puzzled. “But you’re good.” Liz started to protest, but he overrode her, “No, you have talent for litigation, why don’t you want to do it?”

  “Just because you’re skilled at something doesn’t necessarily mean you enjoy it. I was very good at the job I held before I went to law school and I hated every minute of it,” Liz replied. “Anyway, I was talking about McCafferty when I asked what happens next. Is this sort of behavior normal?”

  Ty actually laughed. “I don’t think ‘normal’ really applies to Judge McCafferty. He has his own way of doing things. Usually, it’s ‘Thank you. Next case’ and that’s that. I wonder what he’s up to.” This last on a musing note.

  Liz looked towards the door to the judge’s chambers. “Maybe he’s rummaging for a toothbrush for you.” She heard Ty laugh as the door opened again and McCafferty re-emerged.

  “All rise.” They stood behind their desks.

  Judge McCafferty looked extraordinarily pleased with himself. Smug, even. “Counsel, approach the bench.” Ty and Liz approached the bench as instructed.

  McCafferty spoke, “There’s still the matter of Counselor Hadley’s contempt of court. It is the decision of this court that Attorney Tyrone Hadley will serve a sentence of one night…”

  “Your Honor!” Liz protested.

  “Silence,” McCafferty continued unperturbed. “Either in the Suffolk County facility or in Attorney Gardner’s company.” He looked at the two attorneys.

  “What?” It was said in unison.

  F.L. McCafferty beamed in a fatherly fashion at the two astonished people standing before him. “You will, Brother Hadley, escort this young woman to dinner and any other amusements she may desire this upcoming Saturday or you can spend that night in jail. Your choice.”

  “Your Honor, I protest,” Liz said forcefully, “This is a clear case of abuse of judicial power and a violation of First Amendment rights.”

  McCafferty blinked. “First Amendment?”

  “Freedom of association, which is also freedom from association. You cannot use the power vested in you by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to force people together in a social setting.”

  Liz heard Ty mutter behind her. “Good argument.”

  McCafferty didn’t care. “Fine. Sue me. By the time it gets to the Supreme Court, I’ll be dead and your,” he gestured at the two of them, “grandchildren can argue it.” He addressed Ty, “What’s it to be, Counselor? An evening out with the lady or a night in the slammer?”

  Ty looked at Liz. “Pick you up at 7?”

  “Address yourself to the court, Counselor,” McCafferty snapped.

  Ty looked up at the judge. “Sorry, Your Honor. May it please the court, I’ll serve my sentence with Attorney Gardner.” McCafferty nodded. “Well done. Let the record show Attorney Hadley has received a suspended sentence. Here,” he handed a disposable camera to Ty. “You will furnish proof satisfactory to this court that you provided Attorney Gardner with a fine evening of entertainment. Have someone take a picture of the two of you together. And here,” he handed a piece of paper to Ty. “You will take her to one of these restaurants. They’ll be expecting your call for reservations.” Ty accepted the items without comment.

  Liz was aghast. Before she could say anything, McCafferty rapped his gavel. “Court adjourned.”

  Liz found her voice. “Your Honor, permission to speak freely and off the record?”

  McCafferty was rising from his seat, looked at her. “My chambers. Let’s go.”

  Liz followed him into his chambers. She was fuming and allowed McCafferty to remove his robe and seat himself before she spoke.

  “Go ahead, Counselor.”

  “Where do you get off? Ty didn’t deserve a contempt citation and he sure as hell didn’t deserve to be forced into dating someone against his wishes. What the hell were you thinking?” Liz snapped. She pointed to her eye. “This was an accident that happened because he wasn’t going to ease up in trying to score a run and I wasn’t going to let him do it.”

  “I know. Brad Rogers lost $100 to me on the game. I saw you play. You’re tough.” McCafferty was smiling. “It was a close call. I was surprised when you came up with the ball. So was Hadley.” He said, almost to himself. “Rogers is due for a contempt citation next time he’s in here for calling you a ‘big mama’.”

  “So, this whole contempt thing was a farce,” Liz was still angry, “That was a rotten thing to do and humiliating besides. Undo it.”

  McCafferty smilingly shook his head. “Can’t undo it, Lass. It’s on the record and I can’t have word get around that I’ve gone soft. Being considered a lunatic has its benefits.” He leaned forward. “I thought I saw something between the two of you on the field. You should have seen his face after they untangled you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”

  “Your Honor, it’s a good thing you weren’t umping the game, because you’re seeing things. He was surprised that he didn’t get past me.”

  “I think he was even more surprised when you kissed him.” McCafferty retorted calmly. “Yes, I saw that. I also saw a woman zealously defending a man who wasn’t her client in my courtroom today.”

  “That’s because of the injustice of the contempt charge, Your Honor,” Liz snapped. “I hate bullies.”

  McCafferty raised his eyebrows. “So I’m a bully?” he asked softly.

  “If you abuse your power in that fashion, you sure as hell are.” Liz couldn’t believe she’d said that.Surprisingly, he chuckled. Liz braced herself for whatever came next.

  “May I call you Elizabeth? We’re not in session right now.” Liz nodded. “You know, Elizabeth, you remind me of my wife.” A wistful smile crossed McCafferty’s face. “She’d have stood here and read me the riot act just like you did and for the same reasons. And, you know, in the end we were both right. She just didn’t like my methodology.”

  Liz calmed somewhat. “I’m sorry, Sir. Did she pass away?” Here, McCafferty shook his head sadly. “No. Worse. She’s in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s. It’s been over two years since she’s recognized me.” He fell silent for a couple of minutes, head bowed. Eventually, he looked up again. “Anyway, go make your arrangements with Hadley for Saturday night. Stop,” he held up a hand to stop Liz from arguing further. “The court has rendered judgment and it shall be carried out or the two of you WILL have cells next to each other. Go.”

  Liz turned and left, quietly closing the door behind her. Ty was still sitting on the plaintiff’s desk in the courtroom, curiosity all over his face.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  Liz sighed. “The man wouldn’t listen to reason. I tried, but you’re still on the hook. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

  Ty shrugged. “It could have been worse. Did you have plans for Saturday?” He was watching her face closely.

  “I was just going to a jazz club for the second se
t. Diana Krall’s playing. I have a ticket.”

  “Just one ticket?” Ty sounded surprised.

  Liz looked at him. “Well, yeah, since I’m the only one who was going. I’d have gotten another, but my imaginary friend doesn’t like jazz.” Keep it light, keep it light.

  Ty laughed. “You’ve got a comeback for everything, don’t you?”

  Liz smiled. “Just about. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize,” he was smiling. “I like wit.” Ty held out a pad and pen. “Why don’t you jot down your address for me and directions. I have to return a couple of phone calls. How’s the head?”

  It had stopped pounding, amazingly. Liz said, “It’s better. Look, are you sure you wouldn’t rather have me meet you somewhere?”

  Ty stopped in the act of dialing a number, “Not if I want to stay out of jail.” He continued what he was doing.

  As Liz wrote, she thought that maybe McCafferty was right and there was some kind of spark there. There had been a warm, happy light in his eyes as Ty talked with her. Just as Liz was beginning to think it was possible that McCafferty was not a lunatic, she heard Ty saying, “Hey,” in a soft, warm lover’s voice. She couldn’t see his end of the conversation because he was on her blind side, so she focused on her task. McCafferty was a lunatic.

  Liz finished writing. She screwed the cap back onto the expensive fountain pen, thankful she hadn’t gotten ink on herself. She waited until Ty ended his conversation to hand him the pad and pen with a smile.

  “All set.” Ty looked quickly at the pad. “Salem? Isn’t that a little far out?” He looked at Liz’s face.

  “Are we talking distance or attitude?” Liz asked.

  Ty smiled again.

  “Little of both, maybe. I was thinking distance, but,” a look of mock suspicion crossed his face, “you’re not a witch, are you?”

  Liz chuckled. “Hardly, although I’ve been called that a few times by people who didn’t want to use the ‘B’ word that rhymes with it. I just like the city.” She began to gather up her briefcase to depart.

  “So, you’re not going to turn me into a toad if I’m late,” Ty said teasingly.

  “No, just a jailbird.” She heard him laughing as she started to leave.

  His voice stopped her.

  “You know, Counselor, after your first courtroom win, it’s customary to buy the losing attorney a drink.”

  Liz turned around, looking at him curiously. “I’ve never heard that,” she said. Was he asking her out? “Besides, it’s kind of early in the day, isn’t it?”

  Ty shrugged. “The sun’s over the yardarm somewhere. And when I lose, a drink is in order. Like that softball game,” he added with a smile.

  Liz smiled back at him. “With your win record, you must be pretty dry by now. After that session, I could do with a double shot of something to calm my nerves, but I’ll have to give you a rain check. Dan left me with a pile of work and I’ll be staying late as it is.”

  “Wait.”

  Ty was coming after her with an envelope in his hand. “Here, you forgot something.” He smiled as he handed her the envelope, his fingers touching hers. “I’ll see you Saturday” and Liz felt that crazy zinging sensation down her spine again.

  “Saturday it is.” And she left.

  Later, when Liz got back to her office, after giving the play by play of the morning’s adventure to Millie (“I’m telling you, Elizabeth, the psychic was right”), she opened the envelope. Inside was a check payable for $1,500 to Elizabeth Gardner. The memo line read, “Screw Dan. You earned it.”

  Chapter 3

  Liz thought she heard someone knocking on the front door, but couldn’t be sure, since the sound was muffled by her distance from the door. Of course, since her dress wasn’t zipped and she was still barefoot and without makeup, then, naturally, someone was most likely at the door.

  “Just a minute!” she yelled as she raced down the stairs. A quick look around. No Beanie in sight, but that meant nothing. Liz opened the front door, praying she’d heard things.

  Tyrone Hadley stood on the front step with the screen door opened.

  “Hi. By order of the Honorable Francis L. McCafferty, I’m here to escort you to dinner and…” He didn’t finish because a cat darted past him to the great outdoors.

  “Aw, dammit! Beanie, get back here!” called Liz. “Excuse me, but he’s an escape artist.” She pushed past Ty, who suddenly found himself holding the door open to an empty house.

  Beanie was trotting down the sidewalk, very pleased with himself. Liz could tell by the way he was switching his tail. God, the sidewalk was hot. Luckily, she knew how to win this game. “Who’s the smart kitty? Who’s the clever boy? Is it that Beanie?” She saw him stop and turn towards her voice, tail wagging.

  “Who’s a black and white menace to society?” This was in a sweet, light voice, but it made Beanie roll on the ground. Liz scooped him up.

  “Gotcha, you sneaky little bugger.”

  Beanie didn’t care. He kneaded Liz’s shoulder and purred as she carried him back to the house. Ty held the door open and followed Liz into the house.

  “Sorry about that! Oops! Hold still,” Liz felt him zip up her dress, his fingers lightly brushing her skin. Even when he’d finished, Liz could still feel his touch.

  She turned around, Beanie still in her arms. “Thanks. This is Beanie, by the way,” she said for lack of anything better.

  Ty smiled, “Hi, Beanie.” He put a hand out to pat Beanie’s head. Beanie took hold of Ty’s hand, licking his fingers and purring. Ty laughed. “Vicious animal.”

  Liz smiled. “Oh yeah. He’s a killer.” She put Beanie on the floor. Beanie lined his rear end up with Ty’s leg and vigorously wagged his tail, looking up at Ty through big green eyes and purring loudly. Ty bent over and Beanie rolled to get a tummy scratch.

  “Let me guess: He has some stupid name like Beanie Pawsworthy Ruffington the Third,” Ty said as he scratched.Liz smiled tightly over Ty’s head. Here come the cat lady comments.

  “You’re right, Beanie Pawsworthy Ruffington the Third is a very stupid name. However, Beanie Pawsworthy Ruffington the Fourth is not.” She managed not to snap at him.

  Ty looked up at her. “I’m sorry, I was just joking. I didn’t mean to offend.” He stood up, studying her face.

  “I’m sorry, too. I just get defensive very easily. His name is B and E, but if you say it fast…”

  “It sounds like Beanie,’ Ty finished. “Why B and E?”

  The scratching having ended, Beanie got up, trotted into the kitchen and pawed open a cabinet door. In a minute, all that could be seen was a furry white rump and fluffy black wagging tail.

  Liz laughed. Beanie could break her bad moods without trying. “His specialty is breaking and entering and he refused to answer to Burglar.” To Beanie, she said, “Get your furry ass out of that cabinet.” He obeyed.

  “See, Beanie understands that the phrase ‘furry ass’ means ‘Cease and desist all unlawful activity or prepare to get sprayed.’” Liz explained.

  Ty laughed, relaxed after the tense moment. Here he was, in her house, about to take her out on a date. Under duress, but hell, if you haven’t been out in 3 years, a date is a date, even if there’s a contempt charge attached to it. Then Liz came back to the moment.

  “I’m sorry, I kind of mentally wandered off for a moment. Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Iced tea?” Thank God for the standard rituals of admitting a guest to the house. They effectively covered the tracks of a non-functioning mind.

  “Got any Scotch?”

  “No, I’m sorry.”

  “Then, I guess ice water’s fine, unless you have a bottle of Mouton-Cadet 1947 handy,” Ty was still smiling.

  Liz laughed at the jest. “Oh, gee, the last guy who was ordered to take me out polished off the ’47 by himself. After that, he sat there and blew “Louie, Louie” on the empty bottle. It turned out to be not much of a date and he had to do time.”

&nbs
p; Ty laughed, “I guess the ice water’ll have to do, then.” As Liz got the water for Ty, she saw him walk around the living area looking at photos and other pictures. He was closely examining one in particular when she handed him the glass of water.

  “Thanks. Your eye’s looking better.”

  “So’s yours.”

  Liz’s eye had opened but the bruise was still vivid in shades of purple and blue. Ty’s, on the other hand, had healed completely, as had the cut on his lip. Liz had chewed out Joey and Rocco for inflicting the injuries in the first place. They had apologized, but vowed that if they had to do it again, they would. Liz had punched each of them in the arm as hard as she could and vowed that, she, too, would do it again.

  Ty took a sip of water and gestured at the picture. “Very interesting picture. What is it? “

  Liz looked. “That’s a print from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, ‘Pygmalion and Galatea.” It’s one of my favorite Greek myths.” The picture showed a sculptor embracing a statue coming to life. From the waist up, the woman was alive, flesh-toned and returning the embrace. From the waist down, she was still motionless and white, locked in the marble from which she was carved. Ty glanced at Liz. “You’ve studied mythology?”

  Liz made a deprecating gesture. “I wouldn’t say studied. When I was a kid, I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my leg and ankle. My Mom went to the library almost every day to keep me busy. One day, she came back with a book of Greek myths and I was hooked.” Liz mused, “I don’t know how many time I read that book. For some reason, I really liked this particular story and when I found the picture…”

  “…you had to have it.” Ty finished. He glanced at his watch. “We should get going.” He looked at Liz’s feet. “This restaurant has a strict ‘no shoes, no service’ policy.”

  Liz became aware of her bare feet and bare face. “Shoes. Makeup.”

  “You don’t need it.” There was something in his tone that made itself felt all the way down her spine. She had to remind herself that he wasn’t here by choice and the man was a natural charmer.