The Contest

by Dawn L. Chiletz

  Gina paused and ran her hands through her hair. Madi recognized the motion. It was like watching the female version of Jake. Madi could sense how difficult it was for her to continue. She could feel her own anxiety building as she thought of what happened to a nine year old Gina. She prayed her theory was wrong. “Gina, you really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

  “I want to, it’s just hard to find the words.” Gina’s lips curled slightly upward but it was a forced action, not a natural one.

  Madi squeezed her hand and they seemed to take a deep breath together. “Take your time.” Madi smiled reassuredly and Gina nodded.

  “He told me I was so wet that I should just change into some of his daughter’s clothes. He took me up to her room and told me to pick out anything I wanted. He left the room and I took my clothes off. I had just started pulling on some shorts when he walked back in. I hugged myself to cover my lack of clothing, feeling really embarrassed. He started telling me how pretty I was and how much he liked me. He asked me if I liked him too.” Gina sniffled and briefly covered her eyes with her hands before pulling them away and holding them out as she spoke. “I was scared and I didn’t know what to say so I nodded. I didn’t know what to do.” Madi watched a tear fall over Gina’s lashes and make its way down her cheek as if it were on a path to her fragile heart.

  “He told me that my parents had told him I was good at keeping secrets and asked me if I could keep a secret for him. I reached for the t-shirt on the bed as I glanced toward the door. It seemed so far away. He made his way toward me and pulled my hands away from my chest, tossing the shirt across the room. He said I should never cover up my body because it was beautiful. He started to touch me. I didn’t like it. I felt like he took a part of me in that moment.” Gina’s eyes traveled toward the ceiling and Madi could picture her doing the same as a little girl.

  “He took my hand and... made me touch him. I was so scared; I didn’t know how to react. He was holding his hand over mine and when I tried to pull away he just gripped me tighter and pulled me closer. He kept telling me how pretty and special I was. I started to cry and asked him to stop. He told me he was going to show me how much he liked me and that it was going to be our little secret. He made me lay on the bed. He pulled down my shorts and he climbed on top of me. Just as he was about to… his wife walked in the room. She saw me laying there crying and she starting hitting him and screaming. I couldn’t remember for years what she had said, but after therapy I remembered that she was yelling that he promised he would never do it again. She helped me get dressed and the police came and took him away.” Madi nodded and reached for Gina, hugging her tightly.

  “Oh, Gina, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine… You were just a baby.”

  Gina pulled back and continued, “They called my parents and I spent the night in the hospital. My mom and dad tried to be strong, but I could see they were devastated and I didn’t understand. Everyone kept saying it wasn’t my fault. I think Jake took it the hardest. He kept telling me how sorry he was. He said I could always go with him everywhere and that he would never leave me alone. I had a hard time remembering what had happened. My doctor said I blocked it out because it was too traumatic. He said I would remember when I was ready. Well, I guess I wasn’t ready for a while. I kind of went through a phase. As I got older, I started dressing provocatively and flirting with the guys at school. By the time I was sixteen, I had already had five different boyfriends. We would kiss and stuff but that was it. One time I went to a party with some friends and I started dancing with this guy. He took me upstairs and started kissing me. He told me I was beautiful and then he said something along the lines of wanting to show me how much he liked me. He started to touch me and the memories came flooding in. I pushed him away and started screaming. I didn’t realize that Jake had followed me to the party. He was searching for me downstairs when he heard me scream. I’ve never seen him so angry in my life. He beat him, Madi. He beat him badly. He picked me up and carried me home. I stayed in my room for weeks. They tried to get me to go to the doctor but I didn’t want to move. I heard my parents talking about putting me in the hospital and I lost it.”

  Gina glanced up at Madi to get a sense of what she was thinking. Madi stared into her eyes, pursed her lips, and gave her hand a squeeze. Gina turned over her hand and looked down at her wrist, running her fingers along the scar. “I went in the bathroom with a pair of scissors. Jake found me. I spent two months in the hospital. I’m better now, I really am.” Gina smiled and blew air through her lips, like a release.

  “It’s been years and I’ve dealt with what happened. I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been. I started volunteering at ‘Picking up the Pieces’ until Jake founded ‘Hopes for Tomorrow’. Working with girls who’ve had similar experiences really helped me. I’ve had a few boyfriends and I’m good, I’m really good. I’ve moved past it. It was hard, but it’s gotten easier with time. I know he was a sick, twisted man who had problems. I know I did nothing wrong and that it wasn’t my fault. I know trying to kill myself was not the answer. It’s never the answer. I took back my power. What happened to me does not define me. I define my life. I just needed help to see that. You know?”

  “Of course I do,” Madi said whole-heartedly.

  “I’m a survivor, and Jake is my rock. Jake was and is my best friend. He’s far too protective over me, though. He’s gotten better over the years and we talk openly about it. If I ever need him, he’s always there. I don’t know if I would have made it without him.”

  Madi could feel the tears building in her eyes. She was still holding Gina’s hand. “You’re unbelievable, Gina. I am in awe of you.” Madi hugged her and Gina let out a big breath.

  “I know, right? I’m amazing! I amaze myself all the time!”

  They both began to laugh at the same time. Gina told her how good it felt to know she knew and to get it off her chest. She asked her to please not tell anyone. Her parents had done a good job of keeping her name out of the press and the boy’s family had not pressed charges against Jake. It was something only the family knew about. “The boy was over eighteen and he shouldn’t have been with me to begin with.”

  Madi stared at Gina in disbelief. “You didn’t have to tell me, you know? I’m honored that you trusted me so much, but I’m not family. You didn’t owe me an explanation.”

  “But that’s the thing, Madi. There’s something about you. You feel like family. I see how my brother looks at you. He likes you. He likes you a lot. I can tell this is only your first of many family dinners. I hope you like us because I have a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of you.”

  Madi’s head tipped down to her hands before lifting up to face Gina. She told herself to not let her words get to her. “We’re just friends. That’s all.”

  “For now,” Gina said with a mischievous grin. “We should get dressed. They’re probably wondering where we are.”

  They stood and hugged each other once again before Gina went into the bathroom. Madi thought about what Gina had said about Jake. She tried to push it out of her mind, I am his buddy. She repeated her mantra several times as she dressed. Madi couldn’t help think about Jake and his need to fix things. She could see a teenage Jake blaming himself for what happened to his sister. She could see Jake’s face as he bent down to her and asked her if she was okay. He told her he could fix things. He wanted to know what he had done to upset her. Madi remembered how sad Jake had looked when she wouldn’t let him help her. It tore her heart in two. She started to feel like she had found a missing piece of his puzzle. Madi couldn’t help herself, she knew right then and there. She couldn’t deny it anymore. She was hopelessly in love with him.

  Jake

  Jake had changed back into his clothes and was sitting at a table near the pool with his parents. He had just popped a piece of cheese in his mouth when he heard Gina and Madi coming toward them. Madi was wearing the blue dress again, but her hair was pulled into a messy bun. She
was staring at him as they approached and both he and his father stood up as they came to the table. Madi looked deeply into his eyes. She looked different. Something was different about her but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He took her hand and asked her if she was okay.

  She kissed his cheek as she sat down and Jake felt his body ignite into a fiery blaze. What was that for? Why did she affect him so much?

  Jake glanced up and saw his mom smiling at him. He shook his head no to her and she shook her head yes to him.

  The rest of the night was fun and relaxing. Jake’s parents told Madi how they met and what they had thought of each other. Jake was reminded that his dad pretended to not be interested in his mom until his mom stopped paying attention to him. Then he chased her around and begged her to date him. Madi seemed to soak it up like a sponge. She asked questions and was completely immersed in their story. He had to laugh at what a romantic she was. He didn’t know that about her. He wondered what else he didn’t know. The dinner was amazing and they sat by the fire afterwards telling funny stories about Jake and Gina growing up.

  Jake was returning from his car with the tickets when Gina approached him.

  “Hey, handsome,” she said as she linked her arm with his and walked back with him.

  “Hey yourself, gorgeous. You okay?” He stopped and looked at her.

  “I just want you to know that I told her.”

  “Told her what?” he asked.

  “About my scar… about what happened.”

  “Why did you do that?” Jake could feel his concern for her oozing out of his pores.

  “She’s different. She’s the one. I just know it.”

  “No! She’s not ‘the one’. There isn’t a ‘one’ and if there was, it wouldn’t be her.”

  “Whatever. It’s my story and I wanted to tell it.”

  Jake nodded his head. “You feel okay?”

  “You need to stop worrying about me. I’ve been okay for years and years. I love you and you will never know how much you mean to me, but now, I just want you to fix you.”

  “Fix me? There’s nothing wrong with me, Gina.”

  “You need to stop worrying about me and everyone else for once. It’s time you worried about you.”

  Jake grabbed her face in his hands. “I am happy. I am fine. There is no need for you or anyone else to worry about me. I’ve never been better, okay?”

  “I suppose.” She sighed, unconvinced.

  They walked back toward the house. Jake pushed her shoulder and she pushed him back before he put his arm around her neck and pulled her to him. She acted like she was struggling to get away, but she really wasn’t. Jake didn’t like the idea that she thought he needed fixing.

  Jake handed the tickets to his dad as his mom hugged Madi goodbye. “Thank you again for having me.”

  “You’re welcome here anytime. You’ll have to come again before the tour starts. Please try to keep him in line and thank you for making sure he eats something besides pizza.”

  Madi laughed and Jake hugged his mom as he said, “I like pizza.”

  Jake kissed his mom’s cheek, hugged his dad and waved to Gina before he and Madi walked out the door toward the car. Jake opened the door for her and she smiled as she climbed in.

  “Thank you for not rolling your eyes at me.”

  “You are quite the gentleman.”

  “What can I say, it’s how I was raised by those crazies in there.”

  “Your parents are incredible. Thank you for inviting me.”

  “Did you have a good time?”

  “The best.” Madi eased back into the seat. She seemed relaxed.

  Jake could feel his mind start to wander and he wondered if she would tell him. “You and Gina really hit it off.”

  “She’s amazing. I’m in awe of her.”

  “In awe? Why is that?” He hoped she would just tell him without having to ask.

  “She’s just got it together. She’s a great person.”

  Jake considered for a moment that she wasn’t going to tell him. He needed to know what she was thinking. It was driving him crazy. “She told me she told you.”

  Madi’s head turned quickly and her eyes searched his. “Yes, she did.”

  He stared at her briefly as he pulled away from the house and onto the street. “She’s come a long way and I’m very proud of her.”

  “You should be. She’s very strong. She’s an inspiration.”

  “Yes, she is.” His face wrinkled with concern. He wondered if her opinion of him had changed now that she knew what he had done.

  “You’re pretty incredible too, you know?” Madi said as she touched his hand on the seat.

  Jake turned to look at her as he was driving, “Me?” She had to be joking.

  “Yes you. She told me that you’re her rock.”

  His mouth gaped open. “Did she also tell you it was my fault?”

  Madi sat up in her seat and glared at him. “Stop the car right now.”

  Jake was surprised and concerned at the same time. He pulled over on the side of the road. “What’s going on?”

  She looked angry as she asked, “How in the hell can you sit there with a straight face and say it was your fault?”

  Jake sighed, “Madi, I don’t want to talk about this.” His hand went down to switch the gear to drive.

  “The hell we aren’t going to talk about it!” Madi put her hand on his and pulled it away from the gearshift. “I want you to look me in the eyes and I want you to listen to me closely.”

  Jake did as he was told. He’d never seen her so determined.

  “What happened to Gina was not your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the man who did it. You cannot control what happens to people. You cannot fix every problem. You went to play with your friends without your sister. Every boy in America who has a sister has not wanted her around at least once in his life. My brothers told me to buzz off every single day and I wasn’t molested. You didn’t cause that to happen to your sister. It is clear to me that everyone understands that but you.”

  Jake was dumbfounded. Did she just counsel him? “How much do I owe you for that?” he asked as he tried to move the car again.

  Madi wouldn’t let him. She grabbed both his hands in her hands and pulled him toward her. “You will not make a joke about this. I’m not counseling you, Jake. I’m stating an obvious fact.”

  He stared at her and shook his head. “You don’t get it.”

  “Then tell me.” Her shoulders fell as she pleaded with him.

  “There are some things I can’t talk to you about. Sound familiar?” Jake was irritated and his tone made that clear.

  She furrowed her brows. “I’m not going to drop this just because you don’t want to hear it.”

  “There are a lot of things you don’t want to hear and I don’t pressure you. Just leave it alone!” Jake pulled his hands away and Madi wasn’t strong enough to prevent him. She reached down and unbuckled her seatbelt.

  “Madi, put your damn seatbelt back on.”

  Madi leaned over him and proceeded to plant herself on his lap. Jake put his hands in the air and rolled his head back. Her movement had shocked him and made him angrier. “Get off of me!”

  “Jake Morgan…” Madi grabbed his face in her hands and looked him square in the eye. “I am not going to let this go until you repeat after me. What happened to Gina was not my fault.”

  “For Christ’s sake, Madi, move.” He tried to move her but she wouldn’t budge. She locked her fingers behind his neck, angling his head toward hers with her thumbs.

  “Say it!”

  Jake couldn’t help himself. He saw the determined look in her eyes and started to find her amusing. “It,” he said with a grin.

  Madi sighed, “It’s a start. Now if you want me to move you need to repeat after me. What happened to Gina was not my fault.”

  Jake moved his hips as he grabbed Madi’s waist and pushed her into him. “Maybe I don’t want
you to move.”

  Madi rolled her eyes and sighed, “As hot as you are, that’s not enough to stop me. Now say it!”

  “Hmm…” She was feisty and very close. “How can I get you to stop talking?” Jake started to play with Madi’s hair and ran his fingers down her neck as his head turned to the side.

  “I’m serious! I need you to look at me and say it.”

  He pulled his hands away from her and settled back into the seat. He felt angry and frustrated. “What in the hell do you want from me?”