Beautiful Disaster

by Rye Hart

  “So, what brings you back to town?” she asked.

  “My brother,” I said. “Daniel. He’s pretty sick. He hasn’t been taking care of his diabetes, and now his kidneys are shutting down.”

  “Oh my God,” Caroline said. “Dean, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  “It’s bad,” I said honestly. “They’re saying he needs a transplant and without it, he’ll die. Mom and I both got tested but neither of us is a match. I just… I honestly don’t know what to do for him.”

  “That’s awful,” Caroline said. I could see genuine pain behind her eyes and the sight made my heart ache for her. Despite everything that happened between us, she still felt something for my family. Her heart was just as pure as ever.

  “I came home to be here with him,” I said. “And Mom. But, it looks like I’m just here to watch him die.”

  As I spoke, the truth of my words crashed down around me, and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight, and my eyes burned. I took a sip of my beer, trying to wash down my pain. When I looked back up at Caroline, her own eyes were full of tears.

  “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I wish there was more I could say. I’m just really sorry.”

  I nodded and tried to smile. Just then Stephanie appeared at my shoulder with a wide smile on her face.

  “So,” she said. “How’s it going over here?”

  I glanced at Caroline. As much as I liked Stephanie, I wasn’t ready to tell her the details of my family’s crisis.

  “I think we should get going,” Caroline said, looking pointedly at Stephanie. “I have a lot to do today.”

  “Okay,” Stephanie said, clearly confused.

  “Listen,” I said quickly, jumping as Caroline stood to leave. “Can I have your number? Just to catch up while I’m in town?”

  Caroline considered me for a second, her eyes narrowing slightly. I knew her sympathy for me was strong but the doubt behind her eyes was even stronger.

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “About your brother and everything. But, Dean, I can’t just open myself up to you again. You broke my heart seven years ago. That doesn’t just change.”

  “I only did that to protect you,” I said, desperate for her to understand. “I knew you would wait for me, that you would put your entire life on hold just for me. I couldn’t let you do that. I couldn’t let you give up going to Yale to wait around for me.”

  Caroline scoffed. “That’s pretty ironic,” she said. “Since I dropped out of Yale anyway.”

  With that, she grabbed Stephanie’s arm and together, they hurried away. I watched them disappear into the parking lot, my head spinning and my heart aching worse than ever.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - CAROLINE

  As the sun came through my bedroom curtains, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to get another few minutes of sleep. It wasn’t long before I gave up and sighed deeply, stretching my arms over my head and adjusting to the morning. My night had been filled with dreams that all revolved around Dean. I barely slept, constantly waking up in a fit of pained confusion. Seeing Dean again was exactly like I always thought it would be: painful.

  Sitting at that bar, listening to Dean talk about his brother’s illness was heartbreaking. I longed to help him, to make him feel better, but I knew I couldn’t. Dean was no longer my boyfriend or even my friend. He was now nothing more than a memory, someone from my past who inconveniently showed up to throw a wrench in my life.

  I groaned and rolled over to shove my face in my pillow. Just thinking about Dean was driving me insane. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to be angry with him for breaking my heart all those years ago. I tried so hard to hold on to my indignation, but I couldn’t. When I saw Dean at that bar, I felt myself melt just like I did when I was eighteen years old. His deep blue eye — so dark they were almost gray, were captivating, and it took only a second for me to lose myself in them all over again.

  As I laid in bed that morning, I pictured the way he looked yesterday. His dark hair was cut shorter now, more professional. The years had matured him, both physically and emotionally. I could tell from the serious look in his eyes that he wasn’t the same angry kid he used to be. He was different. Older. Harder. It hurt me to see the changes in him but my body couldn’t help but react to his undeniable allure.

  Even seven years later, my stomach flipped as I took in the sight of his still muscular body. The black t-shirt he wore was tight and hugged his biceps seductively. I could still see him walking toward me, his strong legs leading him forward. When he got closer, I felt my heart race in my chest and desire pool between my legs. It was the first time I’d seen him in seven years and already, I wanted him just as much as I did that summer.

  It took everything in me not to jump off that barstool and claim his lips. Just the memory of his kiss was enough to make my cheeks flush. As I laid in bed, I felt myself grow hot with repressed sexual desire. I pushed him away yesterday, refusing to get close to him again. Now, alone in my bed, I couldn’t remember why.

  My hand floated automatically beneath my sheet as I rolled on to my back. I could still see Dean’s smoldering eyes locked on my face, his lips blowing a sweet scent into my face. My body was on fire as I thought about the way he looked naked. His rippling abs leading a sexy path down to his thick cock. That morning, I no longer cared about my broken heart. My body wanted Dean and it needed a release.

  I closed my eyes and pictured his naked body, sliding my hand inside my panties. With a moan, I found that I was already wet with desire. I wet my fingers and rubbed my clit slowly, imagining Dean between my legs. It was no longer my own fingers, but his that pleasured me.

  I moaned and writhed beneath my hand, remembering the way it felt to be with Dean. As I moved my fingers faster, I flashed back to that time on the Ferris wheel when Dean fingered me while we rode around and around, giving me the most erotic memory of my life.

  “Dean,” I breathed softly.

  I slipped a finger inside myself, still rubbing my clit and thrusting my hips upward into my hand. Suddenly, Dean was right there. His cock was inside me and his lips were brushing against my ear. He took me hard and fast, pouring every emotion he felt into my body.

  “Oh God,” I moaned deeply, moving my hand faster.

  My hips lifted of their own accord as I fucked my own hand. In my mind, it was Dean, claiming me as his own. He pounded his glorious cock inside and grunted with his own pleasure. I was so close, and I could see him poised just above me.

  I imagined running my hands down his abs while he devoured me with his eyes. He stared hungrily at my bouncing tits and thrust himself into me with a power that took my breath away. Before I knew it, I was coming all over my hand and crying out with pleasure.

  “Yes!” I screamed. “Oh God, yes! Dean.”

  I rubbed myself slowly, letting the orgasm linger as long as possible. While my legs continued to shake, I pulled my hand away and sighed, my body still flushed and my heart racing. It took a few minutes for my breathing to return to normal and when it did, I climbed out of bed and jumped in the shower.

  While I washed myself, I realized I’d been unfair to Dean. My own pain and anger had gotten in the way of my compassion. His brother was dying. Daniel was sick, and Dean was powerless to help him. It wasn’t right for me to turn my back on him. As the water washed over me, I decided to go see him. No matter what happened between us in the past, I still cared about Dean, and I wanted to be there for him, even if it was just as a friend. As much as I wanted to help him, I still didn’t think I could ever trust him with my heart again.

  I jumped out of the shower and dressed quickly. As I threw my damp hair in a bun, I slid my shoes on and hurried toward my front door. I opened the door and came face to face with my parents, my mother’s fist was raised, poised to knock.

  “Mom,” I said with a frown, “Dad, what are you guys doing here?”

  “Why do we need an excuse to see our daughter?” My mom answered my question wit
h one of her own.

  I groaned inwardly and moved aside to let them in. I really wanted to get to Dean, but I suppose I’ll have to entertain my parents for a bit first.

  “You look thin, are you eating enough?” my mother asked, her gaze taking me in with judgment.

  “Yes, Mom, I’m eating enough.”

  “Hmm,” she said, not sounding convinced as she wandered to my fridge and looked inside.

  I hadn’t grocery shopped in a few days and the pickings were meager. I knew what she was going to say before she said it.

  “If you need money for groceries—”

  “No, Mom. Thank you, but I’m doing okay. I just haven’t been to the store for a couple of days.”

  She nodded like she didn’t fully believe me, and perched herself on the edge of a kitchen chair. My father, who had yet to say a word, stood behind her. I suddenly got the feeling that this wasn’t just a visit to check up on my well-being.

  “So, what really brings you guys here today?” I asked, deciding it’s best to just get it out in the open.

  My mom pinned me with her gaze and took a deep breath before she began to speak. “We’ve heard that Dean Evans is back in town.”

  I should have known.

  My insides grew cold when my mother mentioned his name.

  “He is, yes. And?” I asked.

  Now it’s my father’s turn to speak. “We certainly hope that you are staying away from him.”

  I looked at my father, unable to hide the frustration in my eyes. “And if I’m not?”

  My mother looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head. “After all the damage he’s caused, how can you even ask that, Caroline?”

  I took a deep breath and looked from one parent to the other. “He’s paid for that,” I said.

  “Ask Eric what he thinks about that,” my mother said bitterly.

  Choosing to ignore her remark, I folded my hands on the table in front of me. “His brother is very sick, that’s why he’s back in town. I was with Stephanie yesterday and we ran into him. That’s all there is to it. Besides, I am twenty-five years old now and not under your roof. You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t be seen with anymore.”

  “You need to listen to your mother,” my father said softly, his voice low and dangerous. “You have embarrassed us enough, young lady. First, running around with that… boy. Then, dropping out of Yale for art school. Now, this again. You will not see him. You will not associate with him. This family has suffered enough humiliation at your hand.”

  “Humiliation?” I stared wide-eyed at my father. This was insane. After all these years, they were still so hateful and intolerant just because Dean came from a poor background. They hated him for no other reason than his lack of wealth and it was disgusting. In that moment, I’d never despised them more.

  “You’ve done nothing but disappoint us,” my mom said coldly. “And we’ve had enough.”

  I looked from my mom to my dad and then back again, trying desperately to understand why they were behaving this way. It was one thing to insist I marry a rich man but it was something else entirely to accuse me of being a disappointment. I’d done nothing but follow my own heart and they were punishing me for it.

  “I think maybe it’s time for you both to leave,” I said softly.

  “Excuse me?” my mom hissed.

  “Fine,” I sighed. “You don’t have to leave. I will.”

  With that, I stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t stop until I made it to my car and climbed behind the wheel. I drove through town until I reached the house I knew still belonged to Dean’s mother.

  Jumping out of my car, I ran to the front door and knocked quickly. I didn’t know what I would say to him but I knew I had to try. His brother was fatally ill. If there was anything I could do for him, I would do it.

  After a few minutes, I knocked again but no one answered. I tried again and still, nothing. Finally, I gave up and ran back to my car, pulling out my phone as I moved.

  “Stephanie?” I asked when she picked up. “Hey, do you have Dean’s number?”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN - DEAN

  My head was spinning as I drove through town. I left the hotel early in the morning, unable to sleep or relax. My desperation to help Daniel was becoming more intense than I could take. There wasn’t anything I could do for him and I hated it. As I drove, I pounded my fist into the steering wheel, angry and in pain. My entire life was spent taking care of my fucking brother. No matter what stupid shit he did, I was always there. But this? This wasn’t something I could save him from. He was going to die and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.

  I drove for hours that morning, just trying to outrun my own emotions. It was almost noon when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I assumed it was my mother, so I took my time pulling it out. When I glanced down at the screen, I saw a strange number I didn’t recognize. Frowning, I tapped the green button and pressed the phone to my ear.

  “Dean Evans,” I said, thinking the phone call might have been about work.

  “Dean?” Caroline’s familiar voice floated through the phone. My heart skipped a beat. “Hi, it’s Caroline.”

  “Caroline,” I said. “How are you?”

  “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that yesterday. Our past is just that, the past.”

  “I understand why you did it,” I said softly. “I wasn’t exactly the picture of a gentleman back then.”

  “That doesn’t matter now,” she said. “All that matters, is Daniel. I’m calling to see if there’s anything I can do for you or your mom. I can’t even imagine how hard all of this must be. I just… if there’s something I can do to help, then I want to.”

  For the first time all morning, I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Just hearing Caroline’s voice was enough to calm my nerves and put me at ease. I sighed and pressed the phone harder against my ear, wanting to be as close to her as possible.

  “Do you think we could just talk?” I asked hopefully. “Tonight? At that same bar?”

  “Sure,” Caroline said immediately. “What time should I meet you?”

  “Five?”

  “Sounds good,” Caroline said.

  “Caroline?” I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.”

  I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, “You’re welcome.”

  We said goodbye and I drove back to my hotel room. I still had hours before it would be time to meet Caroline but I didn’t care, I wanted to get ready and have some down time first.

  When she left the bar yesterday, I really thought that was the last time I would ever see her. I didn’t blame her for being angry with me. When I sent her away seven years ago, I did it to protect her. I truly believed it was the best thing for us both but now, I knew it had been a mistake. There wasn’t anything I could do to change the past but I hoped that, maybe, Caroline would let me make up for it.

  As I showered and got ready for the night, my heart filled with a renewed hope. There still wasn’t anything I could do to save my brother, but knowing Caroline wanted to help was enough to lighten my pain. I didn’t know what she would be able to do but just hearing her voice had lifted my spirits. I knew seeing her, talking to her, and feeling her presence would be even more powerful.

  I left early, eager to see her. It was barely four o’clock when I climbed into my rental car but I didn’t care. I couldn’t wait. My entire body was itching with the desire to see her face again. I knew the second I locked eyes with her, I would feel better.

  I flew through town, arriving half an hour early. When I parked, I hurried inside and went straight toward the bar. My heart was already pounding even though I knew Caroline wouldn’t yet be here. As I stepped up to the bar, my heart stopped.

  My mom was sitting on the last stool, her head flat on the bar and her eyes half-closed.

  ***

  What
the fuck is she doing here? I thought to myself as I walked over to her. She wasn’t passed out, but she was definitely drunk. When I stepped up behind her, I tapped her roughly on the shoulder and she jerked up, her eyes searching for mine.

  “Dean,” she said, her voice rough. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m meeting Caroline,” I said. “I think you should get home.”

  “I’m fine,” she said, rubbing her eyes and sitting up straight. “I’ve barely had any.”

  “Whatever.”

  I didn’t want to deal with her drama, so I ordered myself a beer and went to find a table. Ignoring my mother, I focused my attention on the door as I waited for Caroline to arrive. When she did, my heart stopped all over again. She looked gorgeous in a long blue dress that flowed around her ankles as she walked. I swallowed hard and stood up when she approached.

  “What can I get you?” I asked, trying to keep the nerves out of my voice.

  “Oh, you don’t have to—”

  “It’s the least I can do,” I said.

  “White wine.” She smiled.

  I nodded and went over to get her drink. When I came back to the table, she was sitting down with a nervous expression on her face. It was nice to know I wasn’t the only feeling that way.