Romantic Comedy Box Set (Helen Grey Series Books 1 & 2)

by Hodge, Sibel

  ‘Evening,’ he said.

  ‘Hello.’ I smiled at him as people wandered past me, heading straight to the bar inside to beat the rush.

  I looked up and down both sides of the road. No Nick. After ten minutes or so I poked my head inside the door and scanned the room for any sign of him.

  ‘You looking for someone?’ the bouncer smiled, revealing a gleaming gold tooth.

  I looked at my watch again for the tenth time. ‘Mmm,’ I replied, distracted. I could have sworn we agreed half-seven. I’d only been ten minutes late, surely he couldn’t have gone already.

  I hopped from one foot to the other trying to keep warm whilst the wine bar filled up inside. I checked the time again. Eight pm.

  ‘I think you’ve been stood up,’ the bouncer declared so everyone piling into the place could hear.

  ‘Shush,’ I whispered. ‘No need to shout it out.’

  ‘No, she hasn’t.’ I heard a voice I recognized coming from the direction behind me. Swinging round, I saw Kalem standing there, looking relaxed in pair of pert-arse hugging jeans and a black leather jacket.

  ‘Kalem! What are you doing here?’ I ran my fingers through my long, sleek and super-shiny locks.

  ‘I popped out to get some money from the cashpoint.’ He pointed to the bank on the opposite side of the road. ‘I thought it was you, so I came over. What time are you meeting your date?’

  ‘I don’t think I am. He hasn’t turned up. I was just about to go home.’

  ‘Maybe he’s been held up somewhere.’

  I pulled a face. ‘Well, he could have rung me if that was the case. And to be honest…I wasn’t really looking forward to it anyway.’ I smiled up at him. ‘It just goes to prove what they say about plumbers, though.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘You can never get a reliable one.’

  ‘Aren’t you cold standing out here?’ He grinned at me in that casual, sexy way that made me melt.

  I grinned back at him, hoping he saw my casual, sexy grin I’d been practising in the mirror. ‘Bloody freezing,’ I muttered as my teeth started chattering.

  ‘Come on. Let’s go for a walk along the canal. The exercise will warm you up a bit.’ He slipped off his jacket and placed it around my shoulders.

  ‘A walk! Are you mad? It’s the middle of winter.’ But actually, I could force myself to take it like a woman, if it meant spending some time with him.

  ‘It’ll do you good. You need a bit more exercise.’

  ‘Oi!’ I trotted off to keep up with him as he sauntered off up the road with his hands thrust deep into his pockets.

  Just off the High Street was a canal which was home to a few barges and house boats – and the odd duck, tramp and plastic bag. Darkness had settled over the water with a soft glow from the street lights cutting into the gloom. We headed along the deserted path, my heels clacking on the pavement.

  ‘How come you’re always taking me to remote places?’ I joked. Not that I minded in the slightest.

  ‘Can’t help myself,’ he drawled.

  ‘Did Atila pick the suits up today?’

  ‘Yes, did you give yourself a Hollywood?’ He grinned.

  ‘No, I couldn’t be bothered.’

  ‘Good job, really. Probably would have involved some sort of trip to Casualty knowing you.’

  ‘Ha-ha.’ I rubbed my hands together, trying to get some warmth into the tips of my fingers, which were rapidly turning blue.

  As he walked beside me, Kalem took my hand, rubbing it with his. ‘God, your hands are like ice.’ When he finished, he held on to it tightly.

  Molten larva exploded in my stomach.

  ‘I can’t believe my little sis is finally tying the knot.’

  ‘I know. They’re so well-suited, though. I’m really happy she’s found the right one.’ I looked over at one of the barges; its dimmed lights twinkled through the tiny windows.

  ‘And what about you?’ His dark eyes seemed to see right through me.

  ‘What about me?’

  ‘Do you think you’ll find the right one?’ He squeezed my hand.

  The question floated between us.

  I couldn’t speak for fear my voice would give me away so I changed the subject, trying to untie the knots in my stomach. ‘What happened with Emine, then?’

  ‘We were just too different, really. She was much too high-maintenance for me. We didn’t see each other for that long, anyway, so it’s nothing major. Actually…’ He paused, ‘she should have been with Justin. They would probably have made a good pair. Both of them were very shallow and only interested in themselves.’ He flashed me a wicked grin.

  I giggled.

  We walked along in silence, the questions eating me up inside. ‘So do you think you’ll meet Mrs. Right?’ I asked finally. I wanted to find out about Zerdali and demand to know just what qualifications she had for the job.

  ‘Hopefully. I’ve been thinking about us actually, about how we both always go for the wrong people.’

  Ooh, tell me more.

  ‘The thing is, sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of your eyes.’ I gazed straight ahead, not wanting to look at him in case he could read my expression.

  ‘That’s exactly the same conclusion I came to,’ he said as we came up to a lock where a barge was waiting for the water level to change so that it could be on its way.

  ‘Well, the question is, what can you do about it? You know, to make sure you don’t make the same mistake again.’ I wondered out loud, my stomach lurching with the magnitude of my feelings.

  He shrugged. ‘Maybe take some time to get to know the person first, as a friend.’

  Mmm, just like Zerdali, I thought with disappointment.

  ‘Have you eaten? I bet you haven’t, knowing you,’ he said suddenly.

  I was feeling a tad peckish and could have managed to eat a small horse. ‘I’m starving actually.’ My face launched into a massive grin.

  We turned back, retracing our steps. ‘Come on.’ He pulled my hand. ‘There’s a nice little pub up the road on the banks of the canal that does good food.’

  We walked into the quiet, cosy pub and studied the chalk board menu above the bar while we ordered a drink.

  ‘Would you like the usual, to drink?’ he asked.

  ‘Mmm.’ I nodded, trying to decide between fish and chicken.

  He handed me a glass of wine and soda and looked up at the board. ‘I think I’m going to have fish pie, how about you?’

  ‘Beer-battered cod and chips, please.’ I leaned my elbow on the bar.

  ‘Why don’t you go and grab a place over there?’ He pointed to a snug little table for two in the corner next to a roaring fire.

  I carried our drinks over to the table, shrugged off my coat and draped myself seductively over the chair. Not that there was any possible chance of competing with the perfect Zerdali, of course, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right?

  ‘Food won’t be long.’ He sat down, putting cutlery and salt and pepper on the table. ‘I have to ask…what have you done to your hair?’

  I smoothed my hair down. ‘Why, does it look rubbish?’

  ‘It looks good both ways.’ He leaned forwards, elbows resting on the table, his shirt stretched taut against his muscular shoulders.

  I gazed at his chest with hungry eyes and took a sip of wine. As I set the glass back down, I misjudged the height of it and the bottom of the glass clipped the ashtray. The glass toppled over and its contents flew all over the table in Kalem’s direction. He shot up, but not before a splatter of red wine had sprayed onto his jeans.

  ‘Oh!’ A hot flush crept up my neck as I took my paper napkin and tried to blot some of it off the table.

  He walked to the bar to get some more napkins. ‘Have you got a licence for that?’ He jerked his head towards my wine when he came back. ‘You’re armed and dangerous. Helen Bond 007, licensed to cause havoc.’ He regarded me warily in case I threw somethin
g else over him

  ‘Sorry.’ I grabbed some of the napkins to give him a hand.

  ‘I’ll do it.’ He looked at me with a blank expression on his face, and I couldn’t tell if he was really angry or not.

  ‘Oops. I feel terrible.’ I pulsed with shame, sitting back and surveying the damage.

  He smiled at me. ‘It’s OK. Don’t worry, I’m sure it will come out in the wash.’

  But I wasn’t too hopeful, unless he got the stain remover on it straight away.

  I jumped up. ‘I’ve heard that if you pour white wine on top of red wine the stain will come out. I’ll go and buy a glass of white,’ I squeaked, my throat dry.

  He grabbed my hand, pulling me back to the chair. ‘What, so you can throw another one over me? No, I don’t think so. You’ve done quite enough for one night.’

  ‘Well, at least it makes us even in the wine-throwing stakes now,’ I offered, as he soaked up as much of the red splodge as he could. That probably wasn’t quite the right thing to say, so I bit my fingernail and steered the conversation elsewhere. ‘How’s work?’

  ‘Fine since you left,’ he drawled. ‘How’s yours?’

  ‘After Ayshe’s wedding I’m quite quiet for winter. Not many people want to get married in December; it’s a bit too cold.’ I gave a mock shiver as I unwrapped my knife and fork from the napkin. ‘God, I hate winter. In fact, I could do with some sunshine. We haven’t even had a summer this year.’

  He stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed them at the ankles. ‘I know what you mean. I can remember when I was little; we always used to get a summer. These days it’s just rain, rain and more rain. It’s depressing.’

  ‘Totally.’

  ‘I’ve been having a nightmare trying to think up my best man’s speech,’ he groaned. ‘I’ve been thinking about all the things we used to get up to so I can put some funny stuff in it.’ He sat forwards. ‘Do you remember how Dad always used to have crazes on stuff and drag us out to do all those stupid things?’

  I laughed. ‘Yeah, first of all, there was the jogging, and he used to make you, me and Ayshe go every night at six o’clock, on the dot.’

  ‘You hated exercise from an early age, didn’t you?’

  ‘But I’m going to be good from now on. I’ve read Gloria Cox’s book, you know. There’ll be no stopping me now.’

  ‘And then it was fishing. He used to make us go every Sunday, and you accidentally caught yourself.’ He tilted his head back, laughing.

  ‘The only thing I caught was a soggy, used condom.’ I tutted. ‘After that it was flying lessons, but luckily we were too young for that.’

  ‘Good job. You’d probably have killed yourself if you had done that. You were bad enough at driving lessons.’

  I had a flashback of driving through a country lane with my instructor. Suddenly, a conservatory attached to a nearby house had jumped out and hit me. Needless to say, it was a very expensive lesson, and I couldn’t face doing any more after that.

  ‘Do you remember when you were going out with your first boyfriend, Chris? The time you both jumped on his moped outside our house but he’d forgotten to undo the steering lock: you both fell off and the bike landed on top of you.’

  ‘That hurt!’ I rubbed my leg. ‘I’ve still got a scar there. And then your dad gave us a lecture for an hour on the dangers of motorbikes. I mean, he was right, but none of us listened, of course.’ I smiled, reminiscing.

  ‘And then the next one was that horrible Justin.’ He shook his head as the waitress arrived with the food.

  I cut into my crisp batter and took a mouthful of hot fish.

  ‘I saw him in town a few days ago with a woman.’ His intense eyes gazed up at me. ‘They had a baby with them too.’

  I jerked back in my chair, thoughts screaming at me. I knew there’d been something a bit odd about his excuse for being at the hospital, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at the time. Hadn’t he said he’d been visiting the maternity ward? I knew he’d been lying when he said it was all over with his boss, but I hadn’t realized quite how self-centred and shallow he was until that second. I waited a moment, expecting to feel disappointment and regret. Jealousy, or rage, or…anything. And then I felt it.

  Nothing.

  It should’ve been the ultimate kick in the teeth that he’d settled down and had a baby, but in actual fact I’d had one hell of a lucky escape. If he was capable of doing this to me now, just think of the wreckage he could’ve left behind if we’d got married and had kids. And it was weird, but I really didn’t feel anything at all. I wasn’t upset, devastated, heart broken to hear the news. I was free of Justin. He didn’t affect me in the slightest. And it felt pretty damn good.

  ‘What a lying, sneaky pig! I knew there was something fishy going on when I saw him at the hospital,’ I said, filling Kalem in on the details. ‘Anyway, I don’t want to waste my time talking about him anymore. Oh, you’ll never guess what happened to Charlie.’ I told him about the handcuff incident. ‘But don’t tell anyone. I promised not to say anything.’

  ‘Strange, huh? We’ve known him for years, and yet he never ceases to amaze me.’ He paused for a moment. ‘Actually, neither do you.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, how can anyone get themselves into so many accidents and predicaments?’

  I smirked as I swigged the dregs of wine still left in my glass. ‘Well, at least I’m not boring then, am I?’

  ‘Let’s just say; there’s never a dull moment with you.’

  I twirled my hair round my finger, trying to be sexy.

  ‘How’s your nan by the way? I popped in to see her a few weeks ago and she said you never visit her.’

  I stopped twirling. ‘I go every week, she just doesn’t remember.’

  So, he had been to see her. Had he told her that he wanted to marry me? Had she been lucid when she told me that?

  ‘So, what did you talk about with Nan? Was she…you know…normal when you spoke to her, or was she having one of her cuckoo moments?’ I dug my nails into the palm of my hands, waiting for the answer.

  ‘Just the weather and stuff. She wasn’t really with it; she kept talking about Elton John and Baywatch.’ He paused. ‘Why?’

  ‘No reason.’ I unclenched my fists. So he hadn’t said anything after all. I sank back in the chair, forced a smile and tried to concentrate on what he was saying.

  We spent the rest of the evening reminiscing and gossiping, and when the landlord started throwing out the few stragglers – and a very pissed old man who’d fallen asleep in the corner – into the cold night air, I was bitterly disappointed. Kalem dropped me off in the car park outside the flats, and as I went to kiss him goodbye on the cheek, it went hideously wrong. Our lips headed towards the same side of the other’s face and we both stopped and went the opposite way, somehow ending up in a full-frontal, lip-smacking lock. He immediately pulled back and looked at me, stunned.

  ‘Helen, I didn’t know you liked me so much!’

  I let out an almost inaudible squeal in case he thought I’d done it on purpose. Aagh! I had to get out of there. Fast.

  I tried to hurl myself out of the door, but I appeared to be stuck to a piece of tape on the leather seat that Kalem had used to patch up a tear. I heard my trousers catching on it as I peeled myself forward and jumped out of the door muttering, ‘Iyi yakşamlar,’ which is Turkish for ‘Good Night’. He shouted after me as I ran across the car park, but I ignored him and, with a quick wave of my hand once I was safely in the communal entrance, I turned my back on him and legged it all the way up to the flat.

  Chapter 26

  Saturday, day 13 – Secrets Are for Wimps

  It was no use. I couldn’t sleep. Buzzing on raw energy in my lonely bed, I tossed and turned for hours, getting nowhere. My alarm clock ticked like Chinese water torture in the darkness. Even the sheep I’d started trying to count had all got bored and run off down the grassy knoll for some chow.
>
  What was I going to do? Should I tell Kalem how I was feeling? But why would he want a complete disaster freak like me when he could have someone girly and sophisticated like Zerdali? But – oh! What was I thinking? Maybe that was the point: I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. Of course I couldn’t tell him. His family would hate me and everything would be a complete mess if they found out. I couldn’t betray the love and trust they’d wrapped round me like a comfort blanket. The very thought of losing them all would be like losing my parents all over again, leaving a void in my life too huge to even contemplate. I just couldn’t do it to them. It would be like a can of worms exploding everywhere. I shuddered.

  Shut up, Helen, I told myself.

  Pulling the covers up to my nose, I tried to switch my brain off. I started on some deep breathing, but instead of relaxing me, I got really hot and chucked the covers on the floor. Five minutes later, I shivered, gazing into the pitch–black darkness. Sitting up in frustration, I drew up my knees and hugged them tightly as I listened to Charlie banging around next door. Didn’t he ever sleep?

  I launched myself out of bed and paced around the room – arms folded, clutching my elbows – until I couldn’t stand it any more. I was going to have to talk to someone. It was half past two when I tapped on Charlie’s door in my dressing-gown.

  ‘Who’s there?’ he whispered from behind the door.

  ‘It’s the noise police. We’ve had a complaint. Open up, please.’

  He pulled the door open an inch, his eye-ball peering through the crack. When he realized it was me, he threw the door open and pulled me inside. ‘What are you doing? You’ll wake everyone up.’ He popped his head out of the door and looked up and down the corridor.

  ‘Ha. You’re a fine one to talk. Why are you banging around at this time of night?’

  He sashayed into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. ‘Can’t sleep. I’ve been trying to do some work, but I’m not in the mood. Do you want a chamomile tea?’

  ‘No thanks. Got any coffee? I know caffeine is supposed to keep you awake but I’m wide-a-bloody-wake anyway.’ I headed into the lounge and flopped onto his sofa.