Out

by Cara Dee

  “Yes. You’re welcome. Being kidnapped suits him.”

  He laughed softly and moved to sit closer. “I almost didn’t believe Martin when he told me you’d barged in and taken him.”

  “I was so mad.” I shook my head, remembering. “I hit my lowest point when the truck overheated outside Bakersfield and I had to call a mechanic. So I sat there outside a garage with a stolen cat and two crappy tacos, feeling sorry for myself while the man working on my truck was visited by his husband and daughter who were bringing him lunch. I even may have cried. Partly because I forgot the lunch you’d packed for me, partly because we would’ve looked damn good with a family.”

  Henry’s gaze quickly met mine, and he searched my eyes, and I hid nothing. I did find myself holding my breath, though.

  Give him more. Make it real for him.

  “This isn’t about exploring for me anymore. I’m not sure it ever was with you.” I bumped his shoulder with my own. “I keep seeing these girls everywhere—first, the dudes in Bakersfield with their daughter, most recently, a buddy of mine. Dominic. He’s thinking about proposing to his boyfriend, and they have a girl together. And that’s the shit flying through my head, Henry. It’s not about discovering a new club or no strings attached. Whatever I explore, I wanna do it with you by my side.”

  Henry dropped his forehead to my temple, and he cupped my jaw, tilting my head toward his. “Girls,” he echoed with a small smile.

  “Maybe twins.”

  His smile softened. “You don’t think I’m too old to change diapers?”

  “No.” I gave his bottom lip a little bite. “And no one’s said they have to be infants. Isn’t there a catalogue in the baby store where you pick out your kids?”

  He chuckled at my joke and stroked my cheek, then kissed me.

  Spending the rest of the afternoon making out with Henry was totally worth a ruined bread bowl that got too soggy by the time I came up for air.

  Twenty-Five

  My ass isn’t hurting

  The headache faded after another two days, and that was when Henry decided we should all go to dinner together. As a family. I’d told him he didn’t have to prove anything to me, but he was adamant, and we were going to a place that made these really awesome seafood platters, so I couldn’t refuse.

  “I’m a little wounded that Martin hasn’t checked in on me,” I admitted and buckled up. Mattie and Ty got in the back, and Henry took the wheel of his SUV rental. “The photo I posted today of Eagle and me even shows my bruises, and Martin liked the pic. He’s seen my severe condition, and not a word.”

  “Uh.” Oh, goodie, Ty was gonna make a smartass remark. “Isn’t it funny how everything was fine when it wasn’t, and now that he’s almost healed, he’s dying?”

  Yeah, he’d grown a funny bone lately. Truth be told, it was awesome to see him being more of a regular teenager. He’d let go of a huge weight that’d kept him depressed and angry.

  I could tell he was still testing the waters. Sometimes, he looked to Henry and Mattie for their reactions, and he had slipped once or twice since they flew up here. Yesterday, he said something crass about girls, so Henry had cleared his throat and cocked a brow, to which Ty had cursed. The flash of contrition had followed, as had Henry’s reminder that it was going to take time.

  It was a piece of advice I planned on using against Henry if he found himself struggling too. Because I wasn’t expecting our issues to go away overnight. It would take time before he could relax fully and allow himself to believe I was all in.

  Leaning back in my seat, I caught a glimpse of my brother in the side-view mirror. I cocked my head. Didn’t he look weirdly nervous? If anyone had a reason to be nervous, it was me. I’d postponed seeing Nan until my bruises were fading, and she was getting snippy with me on the phone. It was a whole lot of “Zachary” and no “sugar.”

  “What’s up with you, Mattie?” I asked.

  He searched me out, eventually seeing where I’d spotted him.

  “Maybe I don’t feel like smiling all the time,” he defended.

  My brows went up. “All right. And maybe you’re full of it.”

  “He and Tyler have news to share when we get to the restaurant.” Henry patted my leg and hit the interstate that went between Camas and Downtown. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

  Then why did it look that way on my brother’s face?

  We drove through the forest in silence, except for Henry who was humming along to the song on the radio.

  Martin would’ve liked Downtown. It was the face of Camassia, with all its Victorian homes in pastel colors, the marina, boardwalk, and artisanal shops. Those who lived here wanted to preserve the town’s idyllic feel and protested whenever a larger corporation checked out property. But maybe I was wrong. At some point, I’d thought Martin had liked me.

  It was possible I was a bit disgruntled.

  Henry found parking in the marina as the sun was starting to set, and the four of us aimed for the fish camp near the start of the boardwalk. I’d taken Mattie here a few times when we had something to celebrate and we could afford it. The place wasn’t particularly fancy, but the seafood platters weren’t free. I liked it here, and the guy who owned it was cool.

  “Do you want to sit inside or out?” Henry asked. “It might be too chilly out here.”

  Three guys from northern Washington gave him matching stares.

  “You’ve been in LA too long,” Ty chuckled.

  “Well, then.” Henry smiled ruefully and turned to the hostess. “Table for four, please. Outside.”

  Most of us were in jeans and tees. Not Henry, though. The jeans were there; so was the knitted, formfitting pullover.

  Luckily for Henry, we were seated near a heater, and I grinned as he snagged the chair that was closest. But not before he’d pulled out a chair for me, ever the gentleman.

  Orders were placed, mindless chitchat was covered, and our drinks arrived before I’d had it. Yes, yes, it was great that Henry was enjoying being back in his childhood town—we could talk about that later.

  “Tell me the news,” I said.

  Mattie and Ty exchanged a glance, and Henry cleared his throat and straightened in his seat.

  “I suppose I should start,” he said. The others didn’t argue. “Tyler has chosen to do his senior year here in Camassia. Mattie too, of course. So I got in touch with a Realtor the day after we arrived. We’re officially looking for a house in Westslope.” As he’d once dreamed of as a kid. I was sure the forest district with all its hermits and woodsy people had a ranch or something in his price range.

  “Isn’t this fucking awesome?” I asked. Happiness flared up within, though it battled with the suspicion of something else going on.

  “I hope you think so.” He grabbed my hand under the table and wove our fingers together. “Boys, you’re up.”

  Ty was less concerned. If anything, he looked excited. “I’m going to college in LA.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Mattie was waiting for my reaction. “I guess I changed my mind.”

  “No shit?” I smiled, confused. Still waiting for the bad news. “Okay…that’s great. You have good grades, and we have your college fund if you don’t get a full ride.”

  Henry gave that last part a dismissive wave. I knew what that implied, and we’d probably have a solid fight about it in the future. Followed by awesome sex. The latter was something I missed a fuckload, pun intended. Then I met a kinky bastard who became Virgin Mary while my ribs hurt.

  “We’re hoping that you will move with us.” Henry tightened his hold on my hand. “They may very well change their minds, but as it is now, they don’t want to stay here after graduation.”

  Uh. I furrowed my brow at Mattie. “You wanna leave permanently?”

  He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I’d come up and visit Nan a lot.”

  A lot. Was he made of money all of a sudden?

  “Um, okay.” My mind spun, and I guess I didn’t s
ee the rush. In four college years, a whole lot could happen. “Why is this a discussion now?”

  “Because it’s a factor when we start looking for a new house in LA,” Henry reasoned patiently. “These past few days, I’ve realized how much I’ve missed living here. At the same time, I love my life back home.”

  “So, we’re gonna do both,” Ty finished and took a gulp of his soda.

  I kept my gaze on Henry. Was that it? Were we somehow going to end up in both places?

  “What do you think?” Henry wondered carefully. “Would you consider living here in, say, the summers, and spend the rest of the year in LA? Actually—”

  “I kinda like the fall here,” Mattie said. “When I’m out of school, anyway.”

  “I was just going to say.” Henry nodded. “Summer and fall.”

  The fuckers had been conspiring against me! This wasn’t a conversation you just thought of in ten minutes. While the three of them had spent time together in LA, they’d begun forming plans and shit.

  “What if I don’t want it?” I had to know.

  “Well, we won’t have to buy a house,” Henry replied. “A condo would suffice if it’s mainly the boys staying there.”

  Nan was my biggest concern. There was no way we could move her back and forth, and she had her life here.

  “I gotta think about this.” I ran a hand through my hair, struggling to get a grasp on everything. “Henry, you know I love LA. Staying in both places seems almost too good to be true, and I do wanna spend more time there. But—” This was a huge but. “And I’m not stupid,” I interjected first. “I see where this is going. You can afford everything, and you’ll wanna give me all this—on and on it goes. But I can’t do that. I can be ridiculously hooked on you and want everything you’ve mentioned for our future, but you gotta let me catch up at least a little. I need to make something of myself.”

  “I understand, dear.” He nodded slowly, processing.

  “We have a whole year here right now,” Mattie pointed out. “My fuckawesome tan is gonna be a distant memory before I get to see LA again.”

  True. I could work with a year. It was a start, anyway.

  “There’s also Nan,” I said. “For as long as she lives, I won’t make another city my primary home. We can visit whenever Henry manages to convince me to pay for the tickets. Otherwise, this is home.” As I looked at the guys, I suddenly felt bad. I didn’t wanna be the buzzkill, especially when everything Henry was suggesting was things I longed for. “I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I want it, I just… Fuck, I don’t even know what I wanna do for work. I keep saying I want more, but I have no clue what.”

  Mattie was about to respond, only our food arrived before he could. It put the conversation on hold while our table filled with crab legs, shrimp, oysters, calamari, and sides that were all things fried.

  “Good thing is we don’t have to get rid of the store,” he said as we dug in. “If you find something else, you can hire more people to take shifts with Pammie.”

  I nodded, squeezing some lemon over my shrimp. “Bottom line, I’m not gonna let my pride stand in the way, but I wanna level up a bit before we start talking houses in LA. Does that make sense?”

  Ty and Mattie nodded.

  Henry didn’t. “One problem. I fully understand your side here. That said, one year to find the right house where we’ll be interested in living is already putting us on a tight schedule.”

  “You’re just no help at all,” I muttered. To show I was kidding, I leaned over and smacked a kiss to his cheek. “Find the damn house. I’ll suffer in silence and try to figure out what to do with my life.”

  “You know I want nothing more than to help you, right?” He was neatly picking apart the food with shells, making little piles on his plate. “They’re always looking for people at Second Family. Martin is expanding to a franchise—I’m sure he’d jump at the chance to include you. In a city like LA, you use your contacts.”

  I chewed on a fried pickle, wondering if I was being too negative. Look at Henry; he was born rich, though he’d still gone to college and worked hard. My brother was, in a year, gonna be the first in our family to go to college. Then there was me.

  Mattie made a face. “I know what you’re doing. You wanna be macho and say you gotta create your own success? I’m sorry to say, but you’re a little lipstick too late for that.”

  I widened my eyes at him.

  Henry let out a laugh that he quickly failed to hide behind a cough.

  “Kidding aside,” Mattie went on, frustrated, “you’ve raised me practically on your own since you were eighteen. How about you cut yourself some fucking slack and accept what’s offered?”

  I couldn’t do that.

  “You’re a smart young man, Mattie,” Henry said.

  I couldn’t do that, I repeated to myself, but I did see his point. Could I borrow time? Maybe that would work. I was a man of my word. We could start living our life together, and I could catch up eventually. Somewhat, I added quickly. ’Cause I had to remind myself that I was younger. It was unreasonable to hold myself to Henry’s standard when he’d lived nineteen years longer than I had.

  I felt better now. I nodded, as if to seal the deal, and grabbed a crab leg. “We have a bigger problem,” I stated. “Henry hasn’t asked me to move in with him.” To be fair, I didn’t think either of us was ready for that step. For when we moved to LA, though… A guy wanted to be wooed, dammit.

  “Who said I was planning to ask?” He lifted a brow. “I thought I would just kidnap you and chain you to our bed.”

  Ty groaned. “TMI.”

  I chuckled. “Good to know.” I supposed I could woo him by taking him to an adult store.

  As the issue was deemed resolved by Mattie and Ty, they chatted amongst themselves instead. I heard names mentioned, classmates. It suited me fine, because I had a question for Henry.

  “How long have you been thinking about this?” I licked lemon and salt off my fingers.

  He pecked my cheek. “You’re not the only one who’s dreamed about the future, darling. I was never going to give up, even when it looked hopeless.”

  I smiled.

  There was no question anymore. I loved him.

  “Hon, you missed the exit,” I said.

  “Hmm, don’t think I did.” Henry kept driving through the forest, passing Camas where my bed was calling my name, and continued toward the Valley.

  Oh. It came to me, and I was the dumb one. Of course, he was heading there first. We had to drop Ty off at the inn.

  It would be the last night before he and Henry moved in to a vacation home. They were having stuff shipped from LA too.

  I bet the bookstore was doing great.

  When we entered the Valley, Henry made another questionable turn. This time, I wasn’t gonna mention it. For all I knew, he had access to some secret underground way to get to Cedar Inn. I shook my head to myself and watched the brownstones we drove past.

  “You chillin’ with Ty tonight, Mattie?” I asked. Because this guy wouldn’t mind some privacy with Henry. One way or another, I was getting off. Fuck my fucking ribs.

  “Yup,” he said. “Henry gave us a hundred bucks to go nuts. I can take a hint.”

  “Oh God.” I palmed my face and groaned through a laugh.

  “We’re not doing anything nefarious,” Henry insisted, offended. “Zachary is still hurt.”

  My ass wasn’t hurt. That was what I wanted to rectify.

  Henry slowed down outside of another place, a picturesque little bed-and-breakfast. We’d ended up by the park near the town’s only college, and I gave him a confused look.

  “You’re booked at Cedar. You know that, right?”

  He smiled and pointed toward the B&B. “He’s not.”

  I followed his gaze, only to see Martin there. The porch and the little front yard were lit up dimly, so I could see his wide smile.

  I was out of the SUV before I knew it, and I stalked across the street. �
�You asshole. You don’t call, you don’t write?”

  He laughed merrily, opening the picket fence gate. “That’s the welcome I get for coming all the way up here?”

  I grunted some nonsense, then hugged him as hard as my ribs could handle. It was so fucking good to see him again.

  “I’m sorry, my dear.” He patted me on the back. “I was at a spa and had all my calls directed to Mariella. I didn’t know about your hospital stay until the day before yesterday. I just got here a couple hours ago. Let me look at that handsome face of yours.”

  I eased up, and he grasped my chin, inspecting the bruises with a shake of his head.

  “No word from the police, I take it?” he guessed.

  “Doubt that’ll happen.” My mouth twisted up as I regarded him. “It’s good to see you.”

  “You too, honey.” He winked and patted my cheek. “Since Henry’s decided to become half a Washingtonian, we’ll have to make use of our miles and visit each other for brunch. I’m thinking once a month, certainly nothing less.”

  I choked on a chuckle, finding him crazy. There was no way we could fly back and forth that often. For brunch.

  There was also no way I’d be the one to relay that news.

  Henry joined us on the sidewalk, his hand slipping into mine. “Thank you for coming up.” They exchanged a cheek kiss. “How’re meetings going?”

  “That’s why I went to a spa.” Martin waved a hand, a gesture I’d missed. “Who knew starting a franchise was so stressful?”

  “Hey, Martin,” Mattie hollered from the rolled-down window.

  “Darling boys.” Martin waved to the guys, then faced us again. “How was dinner tonight?”

  “Good.” Henry squeezed my hand. “We somewhat successfully managed to convince Zach that we need two homes, and we’ve decided I’m taking on my parents this weekend.”

  Oh yeah, I wasn’t looking forward to Saturday. Like a good boyfriend, I’d offered to come with him. He stated it was best he did this himself. He wasn’t even going to bring Ty. Instead, he was gonna go over there, stand up to his folks, and pack some of Ty’s stuff. Henry had also told me, half jokingly, half affectionately, that he preferred it when I got hotheaded only in bed. And I couldn’t blame him. I knew I was likely to get us into trouble if the elder Benningtons got shitheady, which was sort of a given.