Change of Heart

by Scarlett Edwards

  I bolt up in alarm. Rich! He said he’d be back by first light. I look around. I’m alone by the fire pit. Had he left me again? Panic threatens to take hold.

  I stand up, yanking the sweater over my head. I grab Amanda’s jacket, happy that it’s finally dry, and toss it on. I don’t know where Rich is, but—

  That’s when I spot him. Curled up by a boulder in the sand, less than fifty yards away.

  I see his footprints in the sand. They don’t extend past where he’s sleeping.

  I huddle in my jacket for warmth and walk up to him. I’m careful not to make a sound. Yet, somehow, when I’m just over ten feet away, his sharp eyes open.

  I look him up and down. His clothes are rumpled, his hair in disarray. There’s a tiny bit of bruising on his face from the fight last night. Even like that, he manages to look sexy as hell. “Did you spend all night here?” I ask.

  “Of course,” he answers. “I couldn’t leave you alone.”

  My heart melts a little inside. Rich stands up.

  “Come on,” he says. “We’ve got to go.”

  “Where?” I ask, following him back to the fire pit. He starts kicking sand over the ashes. I sit down and watch him.

  “We’re going to meet Min,” he says. “I need to see her. From there… I have a plan that will keep you both safe.”

  “Really? What is it?”

  He give me a wry smile. “It’s a secret.”

  “I think at this point, I deserve to know,” I tell him.

  He shakes his head. “Not really. It’s better if you don’t.”

  I feel a bit of irritation seep into me. “What? You don’t trust me?”

  “It’s not that,” he says. “It’s just, the plan’s not fully formed yet. I’m still working out the kinks.”

  “Maybe I can help.”

  “Penny!” He says my name so sharply it causes me to stop short. “Just leave this alone, will you? I’ll tell you when I figure it all out. I promise.”

  “Fine,” I grumble, crossing my arms. “I’m just not as useless as you seem to think.”

  He clicks his tongue. “I don’t think you’re useless,” he says with a finality that ends the conversation.

  Silence stretches between us like a yawning chasm. Rich continues covering up the fire. I can’t take the quiet much longer. “What are you doing?” I blurt out.

  Rich looks at me. “I thought you’d never ask. I’m trying to hide our tracks. We don’t want anyone to know we spent the night here.”

  “What, like Tam or Victor? How would they even begin to guess to look here?”

  Rich shrugs. “It never hurts to be careful.”

  “Says the man who started a bar fight last night,” I retort under my breath.

  “What was that?”

  I sit up. “Nothing.” I’d forgotten how sharp Rich’s ears can be.

  “You said something,” he insists.

  “I was just wondering how a boy who grew up in New York… a city boy,” I flash him a smile, “knows so much about…” I pause, searching for the right words, “…the world.”

  “The world?” Rich sounds amused.

  “You know,” I continue, “all this type of stuff.” I gesture at the fire. “Hiding our tracks. Off-road biking. The way you were so careful when we sneaked back into your apartment. Those kinds of things. Didn’t you grow up in the city, like me?”

  “I did.”

  “So how’d you learn all those practical things?” I pause. “And, come to think of it, why do you drive a truck? Isn’t your family super rich?” I speak without thinking, and instantly regret the words. My question is rude and probably crosses some line. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rich gets mad at me.

  But he does not. He looks at me, thoughtful, and when he speaks, his words carry a deep inflection. “Penny, you have to understand that wealth…” he spreads his hands, “…is not all it’s cracked up to be. I guess from the outside, a statement like that sounds incredibly entitled. Ungrateful, even. But that’s not true.

  “I grew up in the wealthiest suburb of New York. There was nothing I ever wanted that I went without. In theory, it might be a great life. But it’s not. Not really. I’ve seen what chasing money does to people. It turns them into cold, calculating, emotionless robots.”

  Rich sits down beside me. “My father lived his whole life in pursuit of wealth. Look where that got him. In jail, with a son who hates his guts and a daughter who’s not much better. Not that he ever gave a shit about what we think.”

  I look down at my hands. Rich keeps talking.

  “I’ve seen firsthand how money can corrupt a person. It makes you do things you never would otherwise. And once you get a taste of opulence, it becomes like a drug. You become addicted. You need more. More cars, more houses, more things.”

  Rich grimaces. “That’s how my father treated everyone around him. Not like a person. Like a thing to be used and exploited for his own personal benefit. Even his kids weren’t immune to it.”

  Rich takes my hand and squeezes it gently. I love the warmth that flows from him. “And I hated that, Penny. I hated it more than anything in the world. It was no way to live. So call me spoiled or entitled. Call me whatever you want. Call me the brat who doesn’t know how good he’s had it. I don’t care. Possessions aren’t the important things in life.” He tightens his grip on my hand. I look over, and he meets my eyes in an unwavering gaze. “People are. People you care about.”

  Oh, wow. For a moment, things get way too intense for me. Like an idiot, I jerk my hand away.

  I don’t know if it’s just my imagination, but for the blink of an eye, Rich looks incredibly hurt. Then he keeps talking, and seems all right. “That’s why I drive a truck instead of some fancy Lamborghini or Porsche. My dad dumped a bunch of his money into my bank account when I turned sixteen. Probably so he wouldn’t feel obliged to give me anything else. I try not to touch it. Living frugally keeps me grounded. As does knowing about all the other things you mentioned.” He pauses. “What about you?”

  I blink. “What about me, what?”

  “What about you, in general? We’ve spent all this time together. After last night, it’s clear we both have feelings for each other. But I barely know a thing about you. You,” he points at my face and draws a question mark in the air, “are an enigma.”

  “An enigma?” I laugh. Then I shrug my shoulders uneasily. “There’s not much to know, honestly. My life was always incredibly boring. Until I met you . . .”

  I keep speaking, totally on autopilot. Inside, my thoughts are reeling. ‘We have feelings for each other’? Is that what last night meant to him?

  That scares me. I don’t know what to make of it. I’m a confused wreck.

  Rich evokes feelings in me that I’ve never had before. I hate the warmth that blooms in my chest when he holds me, hate the way my heart flutters when he whispers my name. Most of all, I hate how naked I feel around him. Stripped down. Bare. Like there isn’t a thought I can have without him knowing it.

  It’s a terrifying feeling for a girl who had lived her whole life avoiding intimacy.

  “…Penny?”

  “Huh? What?” I’d totally zoned out. I realize belatedly that he’d asked me a question, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. “Can you say that again?”

  Rich smiles. The expression looks so incredibly sweet I don’t know what to do with myself. “I asked you what that is.”

  “What what is?”

  “The pendant around your neck. You didn’t have it on when we met. But I haven’t seen you without it since you put it on in my apartment.”

  My hand clutches the little metal locket hanging between my breasts automatically, protectively. “Oh.” Suddenly, I feel short of breath. I’ve never shared what’s inside that locket with anyone. I didn’t think I ever would.

  But with Rich’s sincere, shining eyes on me, I feel like I can. I owe him that much after everything he’s revealed about
himself.

  I force my fingers to relax the death grip they have on the locket. I pull it out from under my sweater and scoot closer to Rich, cradling it in my palms. I take a deep breath and press the little pin on the side. The locket pops open.

  “That’s me,” I explain. For some reason, my voice is shaky. “And my… dad.” The last word comes out in a near whisper.

  Rich looks at the old photograph. “May I?” he asks. When I nod, he picks the locket up and brings it close to his face. A little bit of terror erupts inside me at having someone else handle it. I’m very tempted to snatch it back. Instead, I force my hands into my armpits.

  “You have his feature,” Rich says finally, his tone gentle.

  “What?” I feel somehow offended. I take the locket back and stuff it under my shirt. “How can you even tell? You can’t see anything in the picture!”

  “I could see his nose,” Rich says, bringing his hand up to touch my own nose. “And some of his cheek.” He holds his hand to the side of my face. “You are undoubtedly his daughter.”

  Those words shock me.

  All of a sudden, I’m crying. I don’t know why. I never cry. But what Rich had said means so much to me. More than all the words I’ve heard all my life put together. More than all of those multiplied by a hundred.

  Rich puts his arms around me. He holds me tight. I sob into his shoulder like a wreck. He doesn’t press me. He doesn’t judge me. He just holds me, stroking my hair, whispering soothing sounds in my ear.

  “It’s all I have left of him,” I cry weakly.

  “Shh,” Rich coos. “Shh. It’s all right, Penny. Let it out. I’m here. I’m here for you.”

  Those words send me bawling all over again. The sobs rock my body. It’s humiliating. I’ve always prided myself on holding myself together. On being strong. On always, always staying in control.

  My whole life, I had done my best not to let myself feel. I’d never trusted anyone enough for that. I sure as hell didn’t trust myself.

  But with Rich, I feel safe. With his arms around me, I feel protected. Everything we’ve gone through, all the experiences we’d shared… they make me feel I can confide in him.

  “I never met him,” I say between sobs into Rich’s chest. “I’ve never even seen my dad.”

  “We can find him,” Rich assures me. “I know some people…”

  “No.” I pull away from him, wiping the tears from my eyes. “It’s no use. He’s dead.”

  “Oh.” Rich’s face crumples. I can actually see the turmoil play out on his features. There’s a flash of shock, followed immediately by… sympathy. Not the fake kind, either. The real, genuine kind. The kind I’d never seen on anybody’s face before.

  “Shit, Penny, I’m sorry. I must look like the biggest asshole to you.” He sounds all kinds of guilty. “Fuck! I had no idea. And this whole time, I’ve been going on and on about how much of a dick my father is… just… Fuck!”

  “It’s okay,” I tell him, feeling more in control of myself. “You didn’t know.”

  “Still, I should have asked, or realized something was wrong, or…” his hands curl into fists and he punches his thigh. “Fuck! You must hate me now.”

  I start to laugh. Just a little, at first, but soon it turns into full-bellied laughter. Rich looks at me like he thinks I’m insane. I probably am.

  “Hate you?” I say. “Of all the reasons I could possibly have to hate you, you think I’d pick that out?” God, it feels good to laugh. “After you lied to me, drugged me, kidnapped me, and pawned me off as your sister? After you made it impossible for me to go back to my old life? After all that, you think I’d hate you because of something you had absolutely no clue about?”

  Rich smiles tremulously and chuckles a bit. “I guess when you put it that way… so, we’re good?”

  “Yes,” I agree. “We’re good. I don’t hate you, Rich. Not even close.” I wrap my arms around him in a hug. “And lord knows I have more than my fair share of reasons to.”

  Rich laughs at that. “You’re right. Still, I’ll try to avoid mentioning my father. Since it’s a sensitive subject for you.”

  I let go, then hit him on the arm. Hard, so he knows I’m serious. “I’m not some glass doll, Rich. I can handle the truth.”

  “But—”

  “There’s nothing I hate more than when people start patronizing me.” I give him a stark look. “So don’t you go doing that.”

  He smiles. “Deal. You know Penny, I’ve said this before.” He pushes himself up. “But it doesn’t make it any less true. I think I’m starting to really like you.”

  With that, he turns and starts toward the path in the forest.

  “Thanks,” I say long after he’s out of earshot.

  Despite all the things I’d told Rich last night outside the bar, despite everything I’m afraid of happening… he’s growing on me. All the things I said about us being wrong for each other had been me saying the “right” thing. It’d been me chickening out, trying to chop off the feelings growing inside me at the head before they had a chance to take hold.

  Well, it is too late for that now. After the way he’d made love to me beneath the stars and the way he listened this morning, those feelings had taken full root and blossomed.

  The way my heart skips a beat every time he’s near tells me it’s way, way too late to fight those feelings now.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As I sit across from Rich in some blue collar breakfast diner, I’m starting to understand that, no matter what happens, I want to spend more time with him.

  Real, one-on-one time. Time where it’s just the two of us, locked away from the rest of the world, talking about absolutely nothing while falling deeper and deeper in love. Time where we’re not rushed, or hurried, or afraid of what comes next. Where we’re not being pursued. Where there’s nothing to escape. Time where, for a long but ephemeral moment, the rest of the world simply forgets we exist.

  The clatter of dishes thrown onto our table by the waitress jerks me back to reality. I sigh. I’m being stupid. I know nothing like that will ever happen. Rich and I will never have that chance.

  Because in real life, there is no happily ever after.

  Rich digs into his food right away. I’m just as hungry, but I want to watch him eat. I want to learn his little intricacies.

  I sit back and study his face. I love the way his brows come together in concentration as he looks at his plate, the way his jaw tightens just a little when he chews. This is as close to wish-fulfillment as I’ll ever get.

  Rich seems oblivious to my observations at first. He dumps nearly half the bottle of ketchup on his eggs, follows it up with some Tabasco, and mixes it all together in a strange type of red-and-yellow stew. He uses his spoon to eat, shoveling in huge mouthfuls. He swallows before even chewing twice. I decide that whoever had taught him table manners should be ashamed. He eats like a caveman.

  Finally he notices me. He looks up, then down at my breakfast. “Not hungry?” he asks.

  “No,” I say wistfully, “just thinking.”

  “Oh. About what?”

  About you. About us. About how I know, deep down, that we can never be together. “I’m just wondering if what Amanda said is true.”

  Rich narrows his eyes. “And what was that?”

  “What your father did to your mother.”

  Rich understands immediately. His tone turns serious. “She told you about that, huh?”

  I nod.

  “It’s something I suspected and shared with her when we were together,” Rich says. “Nothing more.”

  “But do you believe it?”

  He looks up and meets my eyes. “Yes.”

  ***

  We’re on the road again. I’m huddled behind Rich on Amanda’s bike. He’d called his sister and found out that she was still waiting for him in the location they’d agreed upon before. Where that is, he doesn’t tell me. He says it’ll be a surprise when I see it.

/>   Rich takes a highway exit and starts toward a distant city. He stops the bike in front of a tall, grey building. “We’re here,” he announces.

  “Here?” I ask, looking around skeptically. Even though it’s midday, the streets are empty. The lot across from us shelters the charred remains of an old building’s skeleton. I take it there’d been a fire recently. “Where’s here?”

  “My apartment,” Rich says, swinging off the bike and leaning it against one wall. He motions at the tall building. “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “I didn’t know you had another place,” I tell him. “Isn’t it risky coming here? I mean, wouldn’t Tam and Victor know exactly where to look next if this place belongs to you? The way you made them sound…”

  “Penny.” Rich stops me mid-phrase with an even look. “This is my apartment, but nobody knows it exists. Only me, you, and Min. I bought the building with cash so it couldn’t be traced to me. I wanted to distance myself from my father.”

  I gape at him. “You own the entire building?”

  Rich shrugs. “I’ve been buying and selling properties on the side for a few years. I bought my first place using the money I made fighting. It was a ramshackle, little shed. I renovated it, sold it for a nice profit. I did the same thing a few more times, until I ended up with this.”

  I look up and down the abandoned street. Rich and I are the only people present. “It doesn’t look like you have many tenants,” I note.

  Rich smiles. “Using your eyes for once, huh? You’re right. I don’t have any. I was planning on coming here this summer and hiring a construction crew to work on the inside. I got the building cheap after the fire across the street made the land value drop. It had been vacant for years before, anyway. I figured it’d be better to wait until people forgot what happened before renting it out again.”

  “Smart,” I tell him. A gust of wind blows my jacket open. I shiver and snatch it closed in a hurry. “So I take it Min has been waiting here for you?”

  “Yup.” Rich looks down and kicks at a rock. “Penny, I meant what I said before. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I had any other choice. I promised to keep you safe. Well, I know you’re safer away from me. You know, I thought coming back for you was the right decision. Now I’m not so sure. If I had just left you behind, Tam and Victor would have eventually realized you were not Min. Hell, you’d probably be on your way back to college by now.” He sighs. “This way, you’re stuck with me, and in even more danger because of it…”