Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  Just before Mr Fielding greeted her she could see a fleeting look of disappointment cross his face, what could be the cause of that? Was it something Georgiana said? Did he hope to meet Fitzwilliam? Better she greeted him first, then contemplated while they studied.

  Bowing to her, then kissing her hand, Mr Fielding showed he had excellent formal manners.

  'Pleased to meet you, Mrs Darcy, Miss Darcy has told me you play the piano, too?'

  That was very funny and Elizabeth didn't check her laugh as she replied, 'I'm pleased to meet you too, Mr Fielding, if I were to react slowly to Mrs Darcy please forgive me, it's been a mere three weeks since I changed my name, it still needs some time to really settle. Miss Georgiana has been very kind to me to call what I do to a piano playing. Compared to her skills I'm merely banging the keys.'

  But to Mr Fielding the piano was clearly not a subject for humour, for he replied deadly seriously, 'It is all a matter of application, Mrs Darcy. I admit Miss Georgiana has more than the usual talent for music, but she once started at the very beginning, and so did I. Please don't let Miss Darcy's accomplishments keep you from developing your own skills on the instrument. I suspect she has a certain aptitude for instruction, maybe she can help you along sometimes.'

  Georgiana clearly agreed with Mr Fielding's opinion.

  'I'd love to help, Elizabeth, will you please let me? I want to play quatre mains again, and sing duets.'

  Apparently the idea of Georgiana singing duets appealed to Mr Fielding, but he was a true teacher and didn't spend any more time chatting, he wanted to get to work and invited Georgiana to sit down on the broad stool in front of the piano by patting its seat. At first she walked towards the piano obediently, then she stopped and begged, 'Will you play for my sister first,

  let her hear what I am aiming for? Please, Eric?'

  Mr Fielding's expression softened completely at her use of his first name.

  Elizabeth suspected he wasn't very keen to perform in his pupil's time, but he couldn't resist Georgiana's heartfelt plea and sat himself down. Georgiana stood by the piano looking on, and Mr Fielding obviously liked to have her there. Then he started to play.

  And then Elizabeth needed to sit down from the sheer force of his performance. Imagine how she thought Georgiana had little left to learn, was nearly there! A mere ten bars of Mr Fielding's playing showed her that Georgiana had years to go yet, and plenty to learn from this talented musician.

  Mr Fielding's music captured Elizabeth's soul and took it along with him on a journey to... to where? It wasn't England, that was certain, this music was much wilder than England, not just the cultivated parts, but also the uninhabited bits of the country, the moors, the dales. This was music of craggy mountains, and of rough people, primitive, with deep feeling. All too soon the music died away, but the feeling remained.

  Georgiana was in rapture, she now looked as if she was indeed smitten, her cheeks blushing, her gaze directed at her teacher in complete adulation.

  Strangely enough, this seemed to pain him, though Elizabeth did think she saw some signs of admiration in him as well. Well, maybe she imagined them, whatever his feelings he was entirely proper in his conduct towards Georgiana, and as Elizabeth observed, 'Mr Fielding, that was the best music I ever heard, it took me to a different country I'm sure, but I've never been beyond Derbyshire. Your music contained mountains, and a wild, emotional people. How did you do that? How can you put so much feeling in music?'

  That pleased the talented pianist very much, but he did get up and offer the stool to his pupil. Then he said, 'Mrs Darcy, we've never met before, and still you heard a piece of me in my music. For I wrote that when I lived in Prague, I studied there with a master for a year, and conducted some business for my patron. This is his house, I come from humble roots. Prague is a very civilised city, but my teacher and I went on an excursion to the mountains surrounding it and the mountains and their rugged inhabitants inspired me to write that. I'd love to tell you about them some time, I'm amazed you heard my experiences in my music. Thank you.'

  And with that, he started the lesson, and Elizabeth picked up her

  needlework. She knew she looked totally concentrated on her work, but she was glad she could keep an eye on her sister as well as place her stitches correctly, for the process of Mr Fielding's teaching was very interesting, and the way teacher and pupil related to each other even more so.

  Every time he touched Georgiana, to improve her posture, or to let her feel a certain difference in force, he was affected. But she wasn't. Only hearing him play brought on a flush, she was not interested at all in his handsome person, she admired him for his talent and his expertise, she was eager to learn what he had to teach.

  Hearing the lesson didn't bore Elizabeth, Mr Fielding paid such attention to minute details, matters Elizabeth wouldn't have believed could make difference in the way the music sounded if she had not heard him play just now. It clearly did matter, for when Georgiana finally managed to get it right the difference was profound. The sound of the short sequence was so much fuller, this man had to be an incredible teacher as well as a magnificent performer.

  Two hours flew by, and when Mr Fielding said, 'That's it for today, Miss Darcy, if you practise this exactly as you performed it just now, we can start on the next subject, in a week?'

  'Can we make it four days?' the girl asked, 'I feel like I'm always starting to get sloppy after four days, I seem to need someone to point out my mistakes to me with some regularity.'

  Mr Fielding smiled, he had a ravishing smile. Still Georgiana didn't seem to feel it.

  'We all need someone to point out our mistakes. Unfortunately there comes a stage in one's career that virtually no-one hears them anymore, and that is when developing further becomes really hard. I'm struggling with such a moment right now, unfortunately a master who does still hear my weaknesses and can correct them gets better pay playing for audiences. And may prefer to not help a possible competitor along. But you're very close to hearing mine, Miss Darcy, and I suppose you have an ear for music too, Mrs Darcy, even though your performance may lag behind. They're two different things, hearing and performing.'

  As they readied themselves to leave, Mr Fielding asked, 'Would it be possible to have a word in private, Mrs Darcy?'

  Elizabeth was surprised, but readily assented, and Mr Fielding continued,

  'We can use the waiting-room. Miss Darcy, can you amuse yourself with the piano for another, say, ten minutes?'

  With a 'No problem, Mr Fielding,' Georgiana was soon sitting again and playing something totally different from what she had been taught today.

  'So many ambitious players don't know when to end an exercise,' Mr Fielding observed, 'Miss Darcy understands that she may enjoy her success until practice tomorrow. That is how one stays motivated through the most difficult and frustrating processes.'

  By now they had reached the waiting-room, a small room but as light and as uncluttered as the room with the instrument, except that there was a small table with some magazines on it. Mr Fielding's patron had to be rich indeed, they look like periodicals, and there were quite a few of them, Elizabeth hadn't been able to afford those when she was still living at home with her parents. A bit nervous now, Mr Fielding invited Elizabeth to sit down and sat down himself. He was slightly flushed, and blurted out, 'Mrs Darcy, you are a keen observer, you were busy enough with your needlework but I'm certain you saw plenty of what was going on during our lesson.'

  With a laugh, Elizabeth admitted to having seen quite a bit.

  'Are you going to banish me to the waiting-room next time I accompany Georgiana? She told me you were very strict in avoiding distractions.'

  Even more nervous now, the young man reacted slightly horrified.

  'I wouldn't dare to presume to send Mrs Darcy anywhere, ma'am. And your presence didn't disturb Miss Georgiana's practice at all, I don't think she noticed you were watching, you're very subtle, and if she did, she didn't mind. That's
not what I wanted to talk to you about.'

  Elizabeth felt a bit sorry for him, he was really lost for words, so she gave him the time to find them. When he did find them, they flowed rapidly.

  'Mrs Darcy, I think you have noticed that I have a certain affection for your sister. I assure you she doesn't feel the same about me, she may have shown some admiration, but that is only because I am the best pianist she has ever heard, she wants to become as good as I am and she will do anything to reach that goal. She has no interest in men at all, yet, she just wants my knowledge, as it should be. I know she is just sixteen, and way above me, please believe me when I say I'm just totally overwhelmed by her talent and her determination. I will not act on my feelings, I will get over them and soon, I promise. I admire her talent as she admires mine, except I'm old

  enough to fall in love, but it will pass. Please do not take her away from me, I want to teach her very much, one so rarely finds such a pupil.'

  Elizabeth could not help but be affected by his plea, being surrounded by Fitzwilliam's intense love all day, being so very much in love herself, she could understand how admiration could turn into love very easily, wasn't that how her love for Fitzwilliam had started, her finding out what an admirable man he actually was?

  'I did notice you seemed struck by her, yes. And I noticed she didn't seem to admire you except when you played, and at that moment I admired you nearly as much. I didn't see anything to cause me worry, Mr Fielding, but I have been Miss Darcy's sister for three weeks. Miss Darcy and her brother differ so much in age he sometimes feels more like a father to her than a brother, I cannot guarantee that he will be as trusting.'

  Let him sweat a little. Elizabeth didn't think Fitzwilliam would deprive his sister of a teacher who had such a way of helping her to improve her playing, but the fact was, she didn't know him well enough to be certain.

  Georgiana was his sister, and there were the thirty thousand pounds and the thing with Wickham. How had that wretch gotten her to assent to an elopement anyway? Georgiana was not interested in Mr Fielding as a man at all.

  'I'm glad you do realise that your affection is not returned, Mr Fielding, and I guess lack of nourishment will starve it within a reasonable amount of time. I hope you won't suffer for it. Georgiana is still so very young and eager to explore the world, I hope she will not fall in love for some time yet, not until she has gained a lot of self-confidence. And I firmly believe you are helping her gain that, so you have my support to remain her teacher. I really appreciate your honesty, Mr Fielding.'

  'Thank you, Mrs Darcy, I really don't expect you to stand up to your husband for me, I just wanted to be truthful.'

  And with that, their conversation was at an end, and Mr Fielding rang the bell for their coats. He walked them to the door and said his goodbyes gracefully and very appropriately.

  Chapter 23

  Georgiana hailed another cab, and as they drove towards home she pleaded,

  'You won't tell Fitzwilliam that Eric's in love with me, will you? You know he said I could marry a pianist, but since I'm not even in love with Eric I would rather not test the truth of that statement. I feel a bit sorry for Eric, though I suppose it's the same feeling I have when he plays, only since he's older it's more serious. If he sticks it out until I'm eighteen I may take Fitzwilliam up on his promise, Eric's so beautiful, and so talented. And nice, I think I could love him, if I can love anyone. That music he wrote, can you believe how good that was?'

  Of course Georgiana knew, and knew Elizabeth knew. Again, she was way more subtle than anyone realised.

  'I agree that it's better not to test your brother until you are serious about it, but I once promised to tell him everything I had on my mind. I will try to keep this a secret, but I cannot promise you anything, Georgiana, I love him, and withholding something from him on purpose just feels wrong. I feel sorry for Mr Fielding, though, he seems very sweet.'

  Since the cat was out of the bag anyway Elizabeth asked, 'I would love to hear him play that entire piece, do you suppose he'd come and perform it for us? Your brother might help him find someone to teach him.'

  'But then he'll leave London,' Georgiana nearly panicked, 'and I'll be left without teacher!'

  'Isn't there anyone in London then? Is he that good?'

  'Vienna, or Prague, maybe some German city, maybe Paris or Rome, masters like that are very rare. It'd cost a fortune. Eric could do so much better as a composer, but he's stuck on becoming a performer in the prime venues. If he asked me, I'd tell him to perform in London to make a living, but to spend most of his time composing, not on practising for hours to get rid of one tiny mistake no-one but himself and three other people in the entire world can hear. Maybe Fitzwilliam can give him a push onto the

  stage, Eric'd find out soon enough that's not what he wants from life. Eric was made to compose. Do you think he could control himself before Fitzwilliam? My brother is very observant, and he's so very much in love himself, don't you think he'd notice immediately?'

  Elizabeth had to admit, 'I do think Fitzwilliam would know the moment Mr Fielding crossed the doorway. And I seriously don't know whether I could convince him there is no harm in continuing your lessons. We've only really known each other for maybe two months, Georgiana, before that we just exchanged politenesses, nothing more. You may know Mr Fielding better already than I knew Fitzwilliam when I accepted his offer. It was his love for me and Mrs Reynolds' testimony of his character that convinced me we would be an excellent match.'

  'His love for you is rather endearing, and he did suffer so much under your rejection and ill-opinion, though he knew it was his own fault. If Eric were to become so unhappy I might fall in love with him to stop his pain. That sounds like a bad reason to fall in love, but you just told me it worked for you.'

  'Mr Fielding will not be so unhappy for he knows his love is the result of admiration for your talent, and he will be able to bring that talent to bloom.

  And you like him, admire his talent, accept his affection as far as you can.

  How can he become unhappy spending time with you? He realises you're young and above his station, he promised to fight his inclination. I just worry about Fitzwilliam, I don't like to keep things from him, but I don't want to risk him getting angry when I tell him, either. Have you ever seen him in a rage?'

  'I haven't,' Georgiana replied, 'he was icy cold to Wickham. You know, I still don't understand how I could have believed myself in love with Wickham, Eric is clearly in love with me and I think of him as nothing more than a teacher and possibly a friend.'

  'I think you did love Wickham, as a brother, but since he was not your brother you might have mistaken that feeling for romantic love. I shudder to think what might have happened to you, Georgiana.'

  'I didn't realise then, fortunately. I didn't warn Fitzwilliam out of fear of Wickham, you know, I did it because I loved him more than I did Wickham, and was afraid to lose him. Was he very angry yesterday?'

  'He was, Janine said some very offensive things, strangely enough he only became angry when she insulted me, though she accused him of some vile

  things. He wasn't in a rage though, he merely rubbed it in that he had spent six months chasing me and worshipped me, he said that literally, and that she'd better respect me or be very, very sorry.

  Didn't he do that to Miss Bingley as well? Except for the 'I'm important I can break you' threat?'

  'He did, he merely said, very calmly, that you were one of the most beautiful women of his acquaintance. But it was the way in which he said it, his words were infused with his love for you, Miss Bingley was crushed. I don't think I'll ever meet a man who can compare to him, I'm just spoiled for other men.'

  'He is not musically talented, though. Which reminds me, did you know your brother reads amazingly well? I mean, as good as Mr Fielding composes, like you're really there?'

  'No I didn't. How did you find out? And will I get to hear it?'

  Elizabeth decided to give a somewh
at censored version of what happened, and all Georgiana said was, 'I hope he'll let us hear it, with a decent book of course. And Elizabeth...'

  Elizabeth awaited her request.

  'If the time ever comes, will you give me the book? To improve my mind as well?'

  Giving up any attempt to keep a straight face, Elizabeth replied, laughing, 'I will, but we'll have to talk about it after you've read some of it, if you believe all that's written there you'll never stop running.'

  And with that, they had arrived, and again Georgiana jumped out of the cab by herself and paid the driver, Elizabeth merely following. Their arrival did not go unnoticed, for the door was held open for them, not by a new butler, nor by any other servant, but by the master of the house himself. Fitzwilliam let them in with a broad smile and as soon as the door was closed he took Elizabeth in his arms and lifted her to his chest, clutching her to him.

  'I missed you, my dearest, I was very busy but still I felt an emptiness by my side where you should have been.'

  Her face was covered in kisses, and her neck nuzzled and kissed, until he decided he had to act appropriately again and put her back on the ground.

  He did hold onto a hand, though. 'I'm not letting you go all day. Shall we check on Daisy? She arrived this morning, just after you left. We'll let her settle in today and you can try her tomorrow.'

  Looking at her eagerly, his expression immediately changed to concern.

  'Never mind love, I'll stay with you of course, I won't ride myself, I'll walk beside you like a footman, and hold your ankle in worship.'

  For yes, now the time was near that Elizabeth would have to ride in public, in thick traffic, she did find herself rather anxious. What if Daisy bolted?

  Yes, or what if she grew wings and flew away? As if that solid horse would ever bolt, after having walked all the way from Pemberley to London, probably carrying Mr Hugo half the time, and he was not a small man. She was not going to work herself up to fear, there was nothing to be feared, Fitzwilliam would not risk her neck and his happiness.