Revelations

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  'I'm looking forward to it, Fitzwilliam,' she said, and she did, kind of.

  Exploring the city was good, and on a horse was as good as on foot or in a carriage. He was all over her again, until she quietly observed, 'Fitzwilliam, you're embarrassing Georgiana. Besides, she wants a kiss, too.'

  And she was right, Georgiana watched them with an expression half embarrassed, half bemused, and when both pairs of eyes were suddenly directed towards her she said cheekily, without flushing, 'Yes, Fitzwilliam, what kind of example is this for your little sister? Now I want my own admirer, to kiss indecently in front of my family. Or maybe I'll settle for a chaste kiss from you for now. But just this once.'

  She embraced her brother lovingly, got her chaste kisses, and observed, 'Oh Fitzwilliam, you're making it very hard for me to ever find a suitable husband. How can anyone ever measure up to my image of you as a man, as a husband, and as a father? How will I ever be able to settle for less? For there cannot be two men like you in England.'

  'I'm not worried, Georgie,' he replied with a grin, 'he needn't be half as rich, for you're rich yourself.'

  Then more seriously, 'Just make sure he loves you as much as I love you, and as I love Elizabeth.'

  She leaned against her brother and let herself be hugged once more.

  Elizabeth could not but find it a good thing that Georgiana witnessed how much her brother and his wife loved each other. It would give her a good example, make sure she would not settle for less. There had to be plenty of deserving men in the city, though Georgiana did need one with at least an appreciation for music. And anyway, she was just sixteen!

  It was much more difficult to find time for intimacies now their honeymoon

  was over, so much needed to be done and arranged. It proved just impossible to have a moment to themselves by day, so when they finally retired to their bedroom they were both very ready for some loving. Despite their heat they managed to take plenty of time to caress every inch of the other's body, Darcy actually needed to restrain himself as he did the first times they were intimate. Who could have guessed that making love so often was actually keeping him mellow and, well, patient might be the best word. He was impatient now, his urges were pushing him to be active, to go further more quickly, but he adamantly refused, there were two people involved in this and they would both be sated afterwards. Building up their excitement slowly, stroking ever more intimate places, kissing, tasting, it was so pleasant and so enticing, that they continued to stimulate each other with their tongues and hands until Elizabeth was gasping in ecstasy after several shuddering climaxes, and he himself was very close to his own release. A bit surprised to have overcome his need to take his pleasure and instead let it be brought to him, he remembered to warn his beloved that his climax was imminent. Not feeling guilty at all to spill his seed outside his lover's body, they cleared it away quickly then lay on the bed together, feeling very fulfilled and pleased to finally be alone together, and free of desire.

  This was the time to talk things over, of course he had already told Elizabeth everything about what they decided in the morning, of Simon and Mrs Annesley taking to each other so well, and Mrs Annesley having such a talent for ciphering and finances that Darcy decided to keep her in their service after all to help manage the accounts and the household affairs in general, living with her own family and coming to work three days a week.

  Simon would see to the daily running of the household and assist Miss Darcy and Mrs Darcy in getting to know the particulars of life in the city, as well as fulfil a valet's duties to his master whenever he was needed.

  But now Darcy wanted to know how Elizabeth's morning had been, and he asked her to tell him about it. She described how Georgiana hailed a cab and gave the directions, and Darcy was very proud of his sister, so self-reliant, she had grown up so quickly.

  'Mr Fielding is a very handsome man, with excellent manners and incredibly well-dressed. Georgiana asked him to play for us and Fitzwilliam, he was so good I just couldn't believe it. Have you heard him play?'

  'I haven't had the fortune, no. When we visited him he listened to Georgie, he didn't offer to play for us. Do you think we can convince him to come over some evening, to play for us? Or do you think he won't like to play in a small setting, since he's planning to become a famous performer?'

  'I don't think he feels above giving a private concert, no. He played a piece he wrote himself and I would so love to hear the rest of that.'

  But there was some doubt in her, Darcy could see it as if she had told him about it. There was something she didn't want to tell him, something she thought would upset him. But she had promised to tell him if anything ever bothered her, she had promised not to be afraid to share anything with him.

  Anything concerning herself, what if this concerned Georgie? That would make it entirely different.

  'I can see something bothers you my dearest, won't you just tell me? I've never been angry at you, have I? I had a reason to be mad at Janine and Theo, you won't hold that against me, will you?'

  That was clearly too much for Elizabeth.

  'Of course not, you didn't scare me by getting mad at them, actually, I thought you remained pretty calm throughout. And I know you love me, but we've only been together for a few months, and Georgiana is your sister and your ward. You may have totally different ideas about raising her than I have, you know I grew up in total freedom, too much freedom actually.'

  All right, what was the matter with Georgie? Why didn't Elizabeth just tell him and let him decide how bad whatever happened was? She seemed to be seriously considering not telling him why they might rather not invite Mr Fielding over.

  'Don't look at me like that, Fitzwilliam,' she said, 'I know I promised to tell you everything, but this is not mine to tell, not really. Georgiana is my sister now, and if she tells me something in private, I cannot share it with you.'

  Georgie had to be in love with the teacher, he promised her she could, and he would not go back on his promise, but she was so young, the man might be taking advantage of her.

  'Is she in love with him? I know I promised her she could marry a pianist, but I didn't mean she should fall in love with the first one she encountered, she's just sixteen! She may still meet a gentleman she really likes.'

  'Fitzwilliam,' Elizabeth now broke his train of thought, 'she's not in love with him. She just admires his talent, and he is a very good and patient teacher. But he is rather infatuated with your sister, and she is afraid that if

  you find out you will forbid her lessons.'

  That silenced him quite readily, and she continued.

  'She isn't interested in him as a man, just as a teacher and a very talented composer. Actually, she told me she isn't interested in men at all, yet. She admires him a lot, and with good reason for he is a superb player and a gifted composer as well. But his admiration for her talent has made him fall in love with her, he admitted it to me and told me in private he knows she is above him, knows she is not interested in men yet, and he assured me he will conquer his infatuation if only he may please stay her teacher.'

  Still trying to refrain from forming an opinion until he had heard everything, Darcy kept perfectly still except for his hand, which gently explored his beloved's soft white skin and smooth curves. An inquiring look from Elizabeth questioned his silence, and he observed, 'There is more to tell, I can see it, so please continue.'

  His beloved nodded and continued.

  'Georgiana knows, she told me in the cab that if he's not over it by the time she's eighteen she may test your promise that she can marry a pianist, he is talented, handsome and kind, she thinks he would make a good husband.

  And she said that if he becomes as unhappy with an unrequited love as you were, she's going to fall in love with him to make him happy. Though being lovesick might make his music even better, I bet she didn't think of that.'

  That was just so much like Elizabeth, to say something like that when trying to convince him that
nothing unsuitable was going on between Georgie and her teacher.

  'But if he was to perform here you would certainly notice his admiration of your sister, and they are both afraid you'd forbid the lessons. She wants to become as good as he is, and convince him to compose rather than spend all his energy on becoming a stage-pianist. He wants to help her develop her natural gift, and hopes she will in time learn enough to improve his playing by pointing out the tiny mistakes even he makes. He should be taking lessons from other masters, but at his level it is expensive and difficult to find someone, Georgiana says they can be found in Vienna and Prague and maybe in Paris, not in England.'

  'So if I offer to set him up with a foreign master he'll leave my sister to further his career?'

  Darcy made his voice sound dry.

  'He probably would, but it would break her heart to lose her teacher, and according to your sister the world would gain a fabulous performer but lose an even better composer.'

  'What do you think?'

  Why did it surprise Elizabeth that he would ask her opinion? He first flaunted all he held dear to propose to her, then spent months in a state of acute dejection and changed his whole life for her without having the slightest hope of ever seeing her again. Why would he not want to hear her opinion? How could she still think he would decide anything truly important without consulting her first?

  'I think we should trust him and let your sister have her lessons. He is handsome, he is talented, he is sensitive and he admires your sister for her talent and her resolution, not for her breeding and her thirty thousand pounds. And he may even get over his infatuation before she falls for him.

  But then he may not, she is an admirable young woman. Separating them now may actually cause her to fall in love with him, because it would be so tragic and harmful to his talent. Of course I'm a hopeless romantic.'

  'Do you think she will fall in love with him?' Darcy asked his beloved.

  'She very well might, he has everything she wants in a man, except that she doesn't want a man yet. She wants to learn to play the piano better than anyone, and he can help her do that. I don't know, I think so, I guess. And I can't even blame her, I fell for a man who loved me, and I truly never considered your fortune. When I started to realise you were a human being with true feelings, your love became valuable to me, and I started to see our characters would be a great match. I never even desired to marry a rich or important man, I just wanted someone whom I could live with.'

  'And have I lived up to your expectations so far?' Darcy had always dared ask pertinent questions, and now was no exception. She looked at him with a soft expression, ran her hand through his hair, her movement sending a whiff of her feminine scent his way. As he relished it, she then stroked his cheek, rather rough with stubble for he needed a shave. Still, she seemed to enjoy it. Catching his eye, he could see her studying his face, until, still touching his rough jaw, she kissed him with a passion that sent a shiver through him despite having just made love. In her eyes he could see the answer to his question before she spoke.

  'You have exceeded every expectation I ever had of being loved, my dearest. The only image I had formed of love was of living together, you

  know, talking things over, experiencing books and music together, rambling together. It makes me very happy just to be with you, to share everything with you, to see how much you love me and feel the same love for you inside myself, that part is everything I imagined and more. But I had no idea there was a physical side to love as well, you have awakened something I didn't know was in me. And that something makes me feel incredible, especially when we make love, but also when you look at me in a certain way. Yes, like that, exactly as you look now. It makes me feel safe and wanted, and want to kiss you, and touch you, feel your touch on me, smell you. I love it.'

  'Elizabeth, my love, how do you manage to put things like that into plain English?'

  Her words made his heart swell, she loved him as much as he loved her and it made him so blissfully happy. As usual, the thing he expressed, the main reason he fell hopelessly in love with her in the first place, was his admiration for the way her mind worked. But though he didn't express the depth of his love for her this time, she had to be able to read it in his very being, he was love at moments like these. It was impossible for her not to feel that.

  And she did, 'It's just telling you what I feel, Fitzwilliam, the moment I feel it. It doesn't feel special to me. Well, what I feel for you is special of course, but the way I put it into words isn't special to me. You're looking at me like that again, I find it hard to breathe suddenly. Will you kiss me again?'

  Of course he would, how could he not? Was it wrong to love a person so?

  After a few more kisses they remembered they had been talking about Georgiana and the master who was supposed to teach her how to perfect her playing, and Darcy could only suggest, 'What if I accompany her next time?

  That is not extraordinary, is it? She's my sister after all. And I'll invite Mr Fielding to come and play his entire work for us.'

  'He'll be very afraid to have been found out, but I suppose he'll get over it if you haven't called him out after half an hour. I really like him, I trust him with your sister, with a chaperone of course, it wouldn't do to invite gossips.

  I'll miss you, though.'

  'I will miss you, too. And I won't let them know you told me about his infatuation, don't worry.'

  Elizabeth felt a bit bad for Georgiana and Mr Fielding, but for herself she

  was relieved she would not have to keep a secret from the man she had come to love so much. And even if Fitzwilliam didn't want to continue the lessons for fear of his sister falling in love with a commoner, Elizabeth might still be able to convince him to let Georgiana have her lessons. With that comforting thought she fell asleep against the warm shape of her loving husband, forgetting any apprehension she might have over Fitzwilliam chaperoning Georgiana during her piano lesson, or riding Daisy through town tomorrow on a lady's saddle.

  Chapter 24

  The next three days were still very busy, reviewing references, interviewing applicants for the positions of one maid in residence, and two temporary maids. They had decided to hire a butler after all, but only when the family was in London, when they were at Pemberley Simon would receive callers, of course they would mostly have business with him or with Mrs Annesley anyway, when the family was not present. To Elizabeth it was a bit disconcerting to be so close to a servant, somehow Simon was so ingratiating it was hard to keep a distance, and on top of that he was teaching both ladies of the house a lot about life in London, something Elizabeth especially felt a need for. Merely reading up on fashionable manners just wouldn't have done, and as well as broad knowledge Simon had some kind of sixth sense what response was fitting to which situation.

  Fitzwilliam didn't seem to mind at all to see them laughing and joking with his employee, of course Simon was more like a tutor now than a servant. He was always respectful to all of them, including Mrs Annesley, who did in fact not outrank him, but who was of course old enough to be his mother, and earned all their respect with her quick thinking and organised mind. She seemed very happy to go home to her family every night, and even Georgiana enjoyed her company now it was no longer forced on her.

  The first time Elizabeth rode through the streets of the big city she was less afraid than she had expected to be, sitting on Daisy's back had become so familiar and Elizabeth could feel no tension at all in the mare, not even with carriages overtaking them, carts rattling across the cobbles, and people shouting and making all kinds of other noises. Fitzwilliam was right next to her as he had promised, but faithful, solid Daisy had no problem at all even in the thick of London traffic, and the next day Fitzwilliam could accompany her on horseback instead of on foot.

  They started exploring in ever larger circles around the house, staying out

  until they got too cold, for on the second morning after their arrival they did wake up to a white wor
ld. As Elizabeth feared the snow indeed got trampled to freezing mud after a few hours, but in the parks they explored on horseback the snow was still pristine. Elizabeth was reminded of Hertfordshire in winter, causing her to feel a short stab of homesickness for the first time in weeks. But another week would see her back in Hertfordshire for her sister's wedding, a guest at Netherfield instead of at Longbourn, though of course she could visit her father and her home of twenty years whenever she liked.

  Elizabeth was actually glad that Simon would be coming with them, he had already taught her a lot of city manners that she could use to keep Miss Bingley in her place, and Fitzwilliam's idea of having Simon flirt with the maids to head off any gossip seemed an excellent one, and potentially a lot of fun, though of course Mrs Darcy should not condone such goings-on among the staff.

  As Daisy carried her through the snow-covered parks in London, Elizabeth was starting to think that riding was actually not such a bad thing, they could cover a lot more ground this way. If they were able to ride in Hertfordshire they wouldn't have to spend half as much time with Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst, those two didn't ride, but Jane and Mr Bingley did.

  Struck by an idea, she called out, 'Fitzwilliam!'

  He was riding in front of her on his sensitive black horse, ever since Peter's lessons it had become Fitzwilliam's favourite because it reacted to even the slightest movement in his posture, forcing him to ride very precisely and subtly, a challenge riding hadn't offered him for a long time. He turned the black in a large circle and ended up riding next to her. 'Did you call for me, love?'

  'I did,' was her answer, 'I don't exactly remember how far Hertfordshire was from here. Would it be possible to ride there? On horseback? Instead of taking the carriage?'

  'Why would you want to ride through this cold weather, my love?'

  She smiled for she was not cold at all, thanks to Mrs Reynolds' excellent advice to have this lovely short coat made. Well, and some countrified woollen pantaloons actually meant for the manservants that the good housekeeper had offered her at one time, to wear under her split skirt.