Always Devoted

by Karen Rose Smith

  Paige's tears were falling again as she recalled everything that had happened. "It all happened so fast! One minute we're laughing at the movie and the next he's kissing me. Then our clothes were almost off and he's whispering to me how this will be our secret. Our secret. I let him do it. I didn't say no."

  "Oh, Paige," Emma breathed, crying now too for everything that was lost—her marriage, Paige's innocence, bonds that should have lasted a lifetime. She could see how it had all played out. She could see how Barrett had taken advantage of Paige...how he'd taken revenge for his resentment of the way his marriage had gone. Finally, she could see how Paige had been overwrought with guilt, unsure of what to do, not knowing where to turn.

  Without hesitation, Emma leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Paige. They cried together for what they'd both lost...and for the relationship that might never again be the same between them.

  Chapter Eight

  "Your secretary doesn't look too happy." Jake made this remark as he stepped inside Linc's office without knocking.

  "That's because—" Linc tossed down the screenplay he'd been trying to read. "Ah, hell! I snapped at her. I'm going to have to give her an extra vacation day or something." It had been three weeks since he'd returned from San Diego with a silent Emma and a knowing in his gut that she'd backed away permanently.

  Jake appeared to not know which subject to tackle first—the extra vacation day or the snapping. "Have you talked to Emma lately?"

  Linc glared at him.

  But Jake didn't back down. "Have you called her?"

  "No, I haven't called her. She's dealing with enough right now."

  "How do you know what she'd dealing with if you haven't spoken to her?"

  "Don't give me the third degree. Gillian already did that a couple of days ago."

  "Answer the question, friend."

  Jake's emphasis on the word "friend" made Linc take a figurative step backward. Jake was his friend, a reminder that he could say what was on his mind. So he admitted, "I called Levine. He said Paige was staying in San Diego for the time being. He sounded happy about it. I don't know how Emma feels."

  "That's my point exactly. You don't know how she feels. Does she know how you feel?"

  Again Linc kept silent.

  Jake's relaxed pose was gone as he lowered himself into the chair in front of Linc's desk with a steady stare. "You're wasting precious time. I recognize the signs. I saw how you looked at Emma. I saw how you responded to her and reacted to her. I saw what you were willing to do to help her. I saw that you cared for her more than you've cared for a woman since I've known you."

  "You don't know that," Linc protested just for the sake of doing it, not wanting to admit he cared for Emma more than he'd ever cared for any woman.

  "I've only known you a few years, that's true. But I've seen your attitude toward women. Do you think I haven't noticed the women you date? I'm a private eye! Emma is different and your feelings toward her seem to be different too. I know what's it's like to fight against something you really want because you don't think you can get it."

  Linc knew a little about Jake's marriage to Sara. With a tragedy in his life as a cop, he had planned to never have children. When he and Sara had gotten engaged, she'd agreed to his plan. But then Sara found out she was pregnant and called off their wedding without telling Jake the truth. She hadn't wanted to trap him. Four years later, she told him he had a son.

  "I married Sara, thinking I just wanted access to Christopher," Jake continued. "I thought I'd buried everything I'd ever felt for her. But feelings like that don't stay buried. We wasted precious time when we could have been happy. So don't do the same thing, Linc."

  "I'm older than she is," Linc muttered.

  Jake narrowed his eyes. "Oh, that's a really good reason not to be happy."

  Unsettling emotions bumping around inside of him, Linc stood and paced. He'd felt like a caged tiger ever since he'd returned from San Diego...ever since he'd said good-bye to Emma, not knowing when or if he'd see her again. He'd vowed he was going to give her time to figure everything out...to accept what had happened and then move forward.

  Finally he put his real fear into words. "I'm afraid I took advantage of her and she's never going to be able to forgive that. I shouldn't have started anything let alone—"

  He crossed to the window and gazed down at the parking lot, the traffic, the hustle and bustle of his life. His life had meant something different when he was with Emma. Not only with Emma but with her and Becky. Yes, he wanted the opportunity to recapture that. He wanted a chance to—

  "How did you leave it with her?" Jake asked practically.

  "I...we—" Linc swore again. "She thought she was a one-night stand or that I just wanted an affair."

  "And you didn't deny it?" Jake was looking at him as if he was the stupidest man on earth.

  "I didn't know what I wanted."

  "And now?"

  "And now I'm afraid she'll never trust another man...let alone me."

  "I can't believe you admitted you're afraid of something. Not the great Linc Granger!"

  At another time, Linc might have shot back a sarcastic remark. But right now he knew his arrogance and pride were part of the problem.

  "At least let her know you're thinking about her," Jake advised him.

  Maybe that would be one step in the right direction. He'd have to find the others on his own.

  #

  When the bell over Emma's shop door chimed, she spun toward it, hoping to see Linc. She'd been swallowed by a hurt daze when she'd returned from San Diego. It had taken her a little while to realize that some of that hurt was about Linc. What they'd shared had been spectacular...at least for her. Only afterward, he'd distanced himself. And then she'd distanced herself from him for so many reasons, the main one being trying to sort out all that had happened.

  So whenever the phone rang or the door chimed, she hoped it was him. But it never was. Had he just seen himself as her protector and benefactor? Had she misconstrued the rest just as she'd misconstrued her marriage?

  Linc didn't walk into her shop now, but Gillian Bradley did. It was near closing time and Emma was glad no one else was in the shop. She'd sent Olivia home early because it had been a slow day.

  Gillian crossed to the table where Emma had been arranging new displays. "How are you?"

  "Better than I was the last time you saw me."

  Gillian's face was full of compassion. "From the vibes I was getting from your sister's jewelry and Tim Levine, I suspected what had happened between Paige and your husband. But Jake and Linc had to confirm it for you. I just wanted to let you know I received your note and your donation for the foundation. How are you and Paige, if you don't mind my asking?"

  "We're talking. That's what's important. I still love her so much. And I can forgive what she did."

  Gillian appeared to debate with herself for a few moments but then she said, "Paige and Barrett share the blame for what happened. But Barrett was the one at fault. He took advantage of an eighteen-year-old who didn't have enough experience to recognize what was happening." Gillian studied Emma. "But I don't think you need me to tell you that."

  Emma shook her head. "No, I don't. I shouldn't have been asleep at the wheel. I should have realized what was going on, especially when Paige didn't come home as often after that Thanksgiving holiday."

  "Give yourself a break. After the birth of a baby, a woman's life becomes focused around her child. A supportive husband realizes he can fit into the equation, too. Nathan and I are even closer since Matthew was born. But Nathan is one in a million."

  "I guess I wonder if Barrett had other affairs...if I was just convenient at times and he took advantage of that." She gave a wry, humorless laugh. "Yet I guess I wasn't very convenient."

  "Does it matter if he had other affairs?"

  Now wasn't that an interesting question. Did it matter if a man was unfaithful once or a multitude of times? She wasn't sure. "I
suppose it doesn't matter."

  Gillian stepped away from the new display Emma was arranging to another one. Wooden boxes were filled with masculine gifts. "Actually I came by to do more than catch up with you."

  "Do you need a gift basket?" Emma stepped over to the table with her.

  "I'm thinking about it." She fingered a mug with the Lakers' emblem and then a classic gold pen. "I have this friend." She stopped. "Well, actually Nathan, Jake and I have this friend. From what we understand, he hasn't been himself lately. He and Nathan went to college together so Nathan knows him really well. He's been growling at almost everyone in his path, and holing up in his house when he's not working."

  "Linc?" Emma asked, hoping beyond hope.

  "How did you guess?" Gillian's smile was sly. "We're all pretty sure he misses you."

  "He hasn't called," she blurted out.

  Gillian's voice took on a more serious note. "I think he might be waiting for you to make the first move. He knows you have a lot to process. Not that I'd interfere in a friend's life," Gillian went on with an innocent look.

  That made Emma smile. "Maybe the gift basket should come from me."

  #

  Emma stood at Linc's front door fortified with the knowledge from Gillian that he was here alone. Emma had never been this nervous. Her knees were practically shaking. She'd wanted to look...good. So she'd bought a new dress, a little more sophisticated than what she usually wore. It was a teal sheath with a short mandarin collar. Keeping her jewelry simple but she hoped elegant, she'd worn dangling gold earrings with her upswept hair, a gold chain bracelet, and white strappy high heels. In her arms she carried a basket with home-made baked goods. What man didn't like baked goods?

  If Gillian was wrong and Linc didn't want her in his life, she could simply give him the basket and run. Though running would be tough in these shoes.

  The doorbell chime rang through the house. Seconds later, Linc answered the door in denim cut-offs, a black T-shirt and bare feet. Sexy beard stubble lined his jaw and she wondered if he was going for a new look.

  At his astonished expression to find her at his door, she became even more nervous. "If this is a bad time or you're busy..."

  "No, not busy. I just came in after a walk on the beach. I took a few days off this week. I was just—" He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes, then finished with, "I was just relaxing."

  Linc relaxing. That was a novel thought. An awkward silence fell between them.

  "I brought you a...a...thank-you gift." She held out the basket to him.

  "No thanks necessary." He studied the basket as if her gratitude wasn't a good thing, but then stepped back. "Would you like to come in?"

  "Sure," she responded, relieved.

  He took the basket from her and led her into his living room. She hadn't been inside his home before. It was beautiful with its teak floor and sea and earth colors everywhere. There was a magnificent ocean view through the large picture window. The house was unassuming but quality through and through. A large ceiling fan spun between the exposed rafters of the cathedral ceiling.

  He set the basket on the coffee table, then turned to her as if he had something on his mind.

  Before he could start, though, she plunged in. "I'm sorry, Linc."

  His face remained expressionless. "Sorry about what?"

  "For shutting you out. After you told me about Paige and Barrett, I closed down and I pushed you away. If you don't want to see me again, I understand. It's not as if we've known each other very long. And I come with a lot of baggage, not to mention a little girl—"

  He cut her off by reaching for her and enfolding her into his arms, those strong arms she loved so much.

  "You don't have anything to apologize for. I never should have taken advantage of you like I did."

  "Taken advantage?"

  "Yeah. That night in my suite I should have stayed the hell away from you. You were too vulnerable. I knew that. But I just pushed what you needed aside."

  "That's not true," she protested with feeling. "You gave me what I needed. I needed you that night, Linc. And I'm going to tell you something that might make you want to push me back out the door. I'd realized that night that I'd fallen in love with you."

  Stark silence. Then he asked in a gravelly voice, "In love with me?"

  She started to pull away, not exactly sure what he was feeling, believing her declaration was a total surprise and not something he wanted to hear.

  But he caught her, pulled her closer against him and said, "Don't you go anywhere. Neither of us is going to run from this. Not any more. Ever since we got back, I've been stewing about what I should have done and shouldn't have done. Jake finally made me realize why. I love you, Emma Henderson. I know you've been through a lot. And I'll give you all the time you need. Becky needs to get to know me. But I won't have this silence between us again. In fact, it was going to stop tomorrow."

  He gave her a crooked grin. "I called Maris and made her an accomplice. Tomorrow while you were at work, she was supposed to let the florist in. Since your favorite color is pink—she told me it was—you were going to have pink roses from one end of your house to the other. This afternoon I was just walking the beach, wondering if I was making a mistake, wondering if I should give you more time—"

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. Lacing her fingers in his hair, she nudged his head toward hers. "Are you going to kiss me?"

  "Always," he murmured, a moment before his lips covered hers.

  It was a kiss with enough passion to last a lifetime.

  Epilogue

  The evening candlelight service in the small church Emma attended began with a harpist playing delicate, joyful music. In her cream satin gown with a wreath of pink sweetheart roses woven into her hair, Emma took Becky's hand and started down the white runner. Standing at the end of the aisle, tall, broad-shouldered and smiling, in a tuxedo that made him seem even larger than life, Linc waited for her.

  The past six months had been a journey of discovery for them both. In San Diego, she'd wondered about her ability to trust a man again. But Linc made trusting easy...just as he had from the very beginning. He was a man whose actions spoke louder than any words. He was a protector and a defender, and she often had to stand up for what she wanted to do. She had to stand her ground to keep her independence. The terrific thing about that was he seemed to like that quality in her!

  She was also learning to compromise and found the happiness that came from doing that with Linc was more important than independence. Loving Linc meant letting him take the lead sometimes, letting him provide for her and Becky what she never could. On his part, and with kind understanding, Linc was letting her work out her relationship with Paige.

  They'd decided to get married this week before Christmas so they could celebrate Christmas together at Linc's house as a family. Paige was going to stay throughout the holidays, and Emma was hoping they'd find again the bonds they'd once shared.

  Standing in the first pew, Paige took Becky's hand and smiled at her sister with the hope that she could put things right. As Emma glanced around at Jake, his wife Sara, their son Christopher, at Gillian and Nathan and their little boy Matthew, at Maris and Olivia and Earl, she felt the full promise of the life she was going to share with Linc.

  Linc took her hand as she stepped up to the altar to stand with him before the minister. Linc leaned close and whispered, "I love you."

  Happy tears filled her eyes as she whispered back, "I love you, too."

  After the minister spoke a few words of welcome, he said, "I understand you've written vows for each other."

  Linc and Emma faced each other, their hands joined.

  At the minister's nod, Emma went first. "I, Emma Henderson, take you, Lincoln Granger, to be my husband, best friend, and life partner. I promise to honor, love and respect you. I will try to fill each of your days with happiness, unwavering loyalty, and my desire to be the best wife to you I can possibly be. Becky
already loves you. I vow to always consider your wishes when raising her, to let you be the dad you want to be. I love you, Linc, and I will love you and be devoted to you beyond my last breath."

  She could see her promises had touched him. He gave her a crooked smile and cleared his throat. Then in a husky voice, he began, "Emma Henderson, you've changed my world. I'd always dreamed of having a family, but felt that dream was just out of my reach. Until I met you. You put the sparkle in my day and..." He leaned close to her and murmured in her ear, "The passion in my nights." Then he straightened again and squeezed her hand. "You and Becky are the gifts I never expected to receive. And this Christmas will be the most joyous one I've ever experienced. I promise you that you will never doubt how devoted I am to you...how much I love you. I vow to honor, respect and cherish you every single day. Always."

  Emma's throat tightened again, hearing the word that was so important to her...and so important to Linc. They'd had it engraved in their wedding bands—Always.

  Moments later, he slipped her wedding band on her finger and she slid an identical band on his. They had no doubts about the strength and power of their love.

  After the minister gave his final blessing, he smiled at them broadly. "You may kiss and seal your vows."

  They did.

  Always wouldn't last nearly long enough.

  From the Author:

  ALWAYS DEVOTED is Book 3 in my Search For Love series. It is a never-before-published novella, only available in an e-book. In the first book of the series, Nathan's Vow, I introduce Linc Granger as Nathan's best friend. He was definitely hero material and I had to write a story just for him! Though my forte is usually romance, I decided to go a little more mainstream with this one and add some mystery for a change of pace. I think you'll fall in love with Linc and feel deeply for Emma and her daughter. But I also believe you'll want to find the answer to—What happened to Emma's sister?