Midnight Dawn

by Jocelyn Adams

  “That prick has been screwing with my head this whole time, hasn’t he? I don’t know whether to hug him or rip his head off,” Asher said, his voice vibrating along my throat as Caine grabbed an old leather book from the table and vanished without bothering to wrap the towel around to cover his bare ass.

  Heat continued to swell and thrum between my thighs. If he didn’t make it stop soon, I was going to scream. “Asher. Less talk, more naked. What are you waiting for, Christmas?”

  Dark, sexy laughter tumbled out of him, and before I could let out the utter joy it stirred in me, he claimed my mouth again. I spread my hands down his bare back.

  “Not here,” I rasped. “Take me home.”

  “Mmm, home,” he whispered. I was scarcely aware of the great beating heart of the Shift passing over me as he did something wild with his tongue against mine. The ambient light grew dimmer and something fluffier than the sofa cushioned my backside. He’d taken me to our cabin in the Shift. Not my home, but ours.

  We were all fingers, mouths, and primal, urgent sounds. I didn’t have enough hands to explore everywhere I wanted to, sliding one palm over the hill of his spectacular ass beneath the jeans, and the other exploring the bumps of his spine.

  He released me only long enough to toss me playfully farther up on the bed and lie down on me again. With his weight holding me in place, I didn’t want him to move so I could get my stupid clothes off. Lifting my knees, I tickled my bare toes down the backs of his knees.

  “I need you, you jerk,” I said with a smile. “You have a lot of making up to do.”

  “Yes,” he said. “Yes!” Hands shaking, he whipped my plaid shirt off so fast, one of the buttons caught in my hair and went pinging against the wall. My tank came off right after, and he piled me onto the bed again, shoving my boots and socks off with his toes.

  My body lit up with too many sensations to handle at once. His mouth hot against my neck. A demanding hand slipping up my bare side, his thumb caressing the curve of my breast, continuing up to draw my hands over my head and hold them there while he branded me with his lips. The noises crawling up from my deep places didn’t sound like me, but they were right and real and seemed to undo him, because he ripped open the fly of my jeans and yanked them off.

  He knelt between my legs, staring at me with such need I shivered. Mesmerized by my dark god of war, I took in every inch of his hard body, his muscles tight under his bronzed flesh, every ripple of his abs, the sculpted landscape of his chest and shoulders. His arousal tested the limits of his zipper, sparking fear in me. Not the run-and-hide kind, but the one that came with the unknown, the long-anticipated, the desperately desired.

  I popped the button on his jeans, but he dropped back onto his hands and crawled up my body, kissing every flaming inch of my skin with soft lips, his shaking growing worse as he made it to my mouth. While he devoured me, his hands worked to slide boy shorts down my thighs.

  I wiggled them off once they made it to my knees, clutching at him so he’d come back to me.

  “I should…I know you’ve never…I should be gentle and take my time, but I feel like I’m going to come apart,” Asher said, his voice tight with strain as he nuzzled my ear, his hips still out of reach.

  “Shhh, listen to me.” I took his face between my palms and waited until he focused on me. “I promise we’ll have a chance for slow and sweet, but right now we’re both starving. So let yourself come apart, and later, when we’re sweaty and lazy and smiling, I’ll gather all of your lovely pieces into my arms and squish you back together.”

  A smile broke across his lips, and I could have died happy right then. “I love you,” he said. “God, I love you so much.” His pants were gone in a mad dance at the side of the bed. If he’d been wearing underwear, I didn’t see it.

  My heart raced along with his as he lay down on me again. Lost in our massive vortex of energy that grew and pulsed around us, no pain registered as he pushed himself inside me; only our strangled cries of needs being fulfilled rang in the room.

  I slid my hands down to feel the power of his body as his hips drove forward, filling me until it was almost too much before he retreated again. The wrongness that had plagued me for months disappeared, and vibrant life took its place, growing and morphing into a kaleidoscope of sensations I’d never dreamed of. Pleasure surged outward from my core in ripples that grew larger and larger. His moans against my lips held the harmony of his rich voice, which could tear me down and rebuild me again, stronger and surer.

  In one powerful motion, he rolled and kept me joined with him. I found his mouth again, but he took my face in his hands, his eyes alive with joy. My hair cascaded around him, blotting out the world. He moved one hand to stroke his fingers through it. “You are my rain.” He sat up, caressing his hands along my back. “You are the silk beneath my fingertips, the touch that drives back the fear, the dawn to my endless midnight. You are my heart, my safe place, and I will walk beside you until the end of time.”

  “I love you,” I said through my sudden tears, tangling my fingers into his hair as I thrust my hips forward again. There were no more words for a long time, only hungry, desperate sounds.

  Pleasure began as a whirlpool in my core, spinning faster and faster until my muscles began to seize. I cried out, confused and helpless to do anything but ride the insane rush of tingles parading over my flesh.

  Panting, Asher flipped us again, his rhythm speeding up in time with his breaths. He overwhelmed me, the aftershocks ricocheting around my abdomen, the sight of his face slack with his impending release, the friction of him sliding into me.

  When I thought I’d come apart for real, he collapsed on top of me, roaring against my throat while his body tightened. I stroked his hair as the tension slowly went out of his muscles, tangling my ankles around his as he lay in my arms.

  “Wow,” I said, loving the glowing serenity in my body.

  Chuckling in a lazy way, he rolled over and drew me up against him. “Wow is the understatement of the century. That was a million times better than all the times we’ve done that in my head.”

  Grinning, I traced the edge of his ribs with my fingertip, put my knee over his thigh, and snuggled harder into him as he pulled my green plaid comforter up and tucked it around us. It seemed such a normal thing to do, like something we’d done a thousand times before and the newness had never worn off. Was this what it meant to be in love? No awkwardness, no weirdness about being naked with him the first time, just…right. Or did the bond bring us closer than regular couples? Maybe.

  “So,” I asked, trying not to think about the plans we needed to make, why Caine wanted so desperately for us to help Baku, and what the battle at the second dawn would bring, “what happens now? I mean, this is new, and I’m not sure what you’re thinking, so if this is weird and you want me to go, then—”

  Sliding a finger under my chin, he lifted until I found the courage to meet his eyes. “You are right where I want you to be every morning for the rest of our lives, no matter what happens. Have I made myself quite clear?”

  I smiled and stretched up to nip his bottom lip, closing my eyes against the impending tears. “Crystal. Are you sure your girlfriend isn’t going to mind?”

  His chest bumped with his laughter as he kissed my temple. “She’s a hard-core Architect with nerves of steel, so she might rough you up if she finds out. I guess it’ll be our little secret, and tomorrow when you wake up all sleep-tousled with your lips still pink and swollen from my kisses, I’ll feed you breakfast, and then we’ll mess up this bed some more. And then, I’m going to take it slowly with you so I can hear those adorable little moans you make when I’m kissing your neck.” Maybe for the last time…“Until then, no more dark thoughts.”

  A shiver ran up my spine, and I nestled my face against his chest. “Sounds like heaven.”

  His arms tightened around me, one hand drawing gentle lines up and down my back. “How badly did I hurt you? I was as brutal and clu
msy as a teenager in the backseat with his first crush.”

  “You can be sorry for lots of hurts,” I said, “but not that one. You can hurt me like that anytime you want.”

  “Deal,” he said with a smile, brushing my lips with his. We barely touched, but lightning zinged down to my toes and everywhere in between.

  “How did you stop me from feeling your storm back in Nebraska—or anytime we touched—anyway? It lit you up, but I didn’t feel a thing.”

  “That was one reason I stayed away for so long, so I could practice my control, keeping it inside my own skin. I needed you to rule me out as your conduit so you’d find someone else, and when you kept looking at me like I was your everything, I let you think I was in love with someone else. I see how stupid that was now. Somehow I’ve always known deep down that each guardian only has one who’s right for us, but I kept denying it because I felt like that was the only way to keep you alive. Maybe our matches are ingrained in us from the moment we first touch the book, or maybe our soul chooses when we’re inducted. I’m still not sure how all of it works, but I feel you down to my toes.”

  I tucked my face under his chin to hide my expression, which must have shown my sudden unease. How much time would we have to be like this, whole and happy? I’d found my Shepherd, but we still had no idea how to start the Machine, where to find the sanctuary, or how to put Baku in it. The slow and sweet loving Asher promised might never find a quiet moment before my life came to an abrupt end, and he’d be left holding a scrap of my shirt for the rest of his very long forever.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I woke to the sound of rain on the window. Panic rose when I reached for Asher but found only cold sheets. At first I thought it had all been a really cruel dream, but his scent filled my nose, and a simple thought located the warmth of his presence outside. Not to mention I ached in places the newly de-virginated would ache. Strange how I hadn’t hurt at all during our naked tangle. I was pretty sure someone could have hit me with a sledgehammer during that time, and I wouldn’t have felt anything but the pleasure of Asher’s body in and around mine.

  Blowing out my relief, I pressed my head back into the pillow, my smile growing wider. It had really happened. I spent the night. With Asher Green. Naked. In a bed. After he’d blown my mind and wrapped his soul around me so hard I felt branded. My beautiful, devious liar. We were bonded, in a way that could never be broken.

  This cannot be done without sacrifice, child.

  An echo of Izan’s words shattered my joy in an instant. Forever was an awfully long time. Izan said I had to make a sacrifice, and Asher could never bond with anyone else if I ended up dead. I’d condemned him to a new kind of hell when all I’d ever wanted to do was save him from the one he’d grown up in.

  I didn’t know what to feel. It was all too much, too soon. Lying in bed wasn’t going to help anything, so instead of drowning my sorrows in the pillow, I kicked off the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

  Every ache and twinge shot me up with a psychedelic drug that made me moan with the memories that came along with them, helping to drive back my anxiety. Until I realized we hadn’t used protection. Dammit. After throwing on a pair of boy shorts and a plaid shirt I left open, I ambled down the hallway, through the kitchen, and out onto the front steps.

  Asher, wearing only his jeans, stood barefoot beyond the railing with his face turned up to the sky. Although at first I thought he was peaceful, there was a tightness around his mouth that suggested he was thinking those dark thoughts he’d chased out of my mind last night.

  Rain rushed over him, bouncing off his closed lids, over his magnificent chest, and dripping off his slicked-back hair. I went to him, awestruck by the beauty before me. I’d have done almost anything to erase all of his worries.

  A mutinous little voice in my head told me that if I gave Baku what he wanted and merged the realities back into one, we might have a life together. My voice of reason piped in with, until some species drops a nuke and blows us all out of the universe. God, there were days when I hated my brain.

  His smile widened the nearer I came even though his lashes never lifted. My toes squished in the wet grass, a wonderful sensation to add to my growing collection of comfort.

  “I’m surprised you’re up already,” he said, lowering his chin and staring at me through the drops hanging like crystals from his long lashes. “Clearly I didn’t wear you out as well as I thought I did.”

  I reached for him, a tinge of worry holding on that he’d change his mind and run from what we’d done, but he didn’t hesitate before pulling me into the circle of his arms.

  “Why are you out here?” I asked.

  He squeezed me, running one hand up into my hair beginning to dampen with the softening rain. “I woke up terrified last night had been a dream. Even after squeezing you in my arms long enough that I believed you’re really mine, I couldn’t go back to sleep and didn’t want to wake you. And I needed to think, which I do better outside since meeting you.”

  I kissed the side of his throat, drawing in his scent and taste. “Are you sure you’re not out here for some other reason? No regrets, right?” I swallowed hard.

  The tightening of his embrace relayed the fear and helplessness still chewing at him. “How could I ever regret loving you? I hope you understand why I fought this so hard, and why I will fight with every breath to make sure my premonitions of your death don’t become reality.” Desperate words carrying years’ worth of heartache, worry, and a heap of determination. “You will live to see the other side of this war, I promise you. I would die a thousand different ways before I let anyone, or anything, hurt you. Tell me you understand that. I’ve asked you to forgive me for leaving you a hundred times, but I need to hear you say it.”

  He really believed I’d live. I’d never seen him so sure of anything. “I’ll probably still have moments when I want to kick your ass for what you put us through, but if things were reversed, and I thought I could save you from all of this, I’d have done a whole lot worse than what you did. Of course I forgive you.” I couldn’t bring myself to dash his hope of saving me, not now. That he believed we had a chance of making it through the coming fight would keep him going, and I wanted him beside me for as long as possible, as selfish as that was.

  I shifted back, needing a bit of distance for what I had to ask. “Um…did you use anything last night? Because our life is complicated enough without worrying about babies.”

  “I had a vasectomy years ago, so you don’t have to worry.”

  Oh. We’d never have children. Although I mourned that life with white picket fences, regular jobs, and backyard barbecues for a moment, it would be a life of heartache for a kid, so I let it go. I had my Asher, and he was more than enough.

  “I knew you’d find this place again,” he said. “I moved my stuff out while you were in the infirmary and cleaned it from top to bottom. I thought your sharp mind might find a way around my attempts to block your memory.”

  I stuck a finger against his chest. “If you even think about doing that to me ever again—”

  “You’ll castrate me,” he finished for me, chuckling.

  “Damn right. No more lies, ever. Promise me.”

  He kissed the end of my nose. “You have my word as your Shepherd. No more lies.”

  The rain stopped, and I wiggled back enough to look at the sky, a bright blue with the sun having barely crawled over the horizon. My inner voice piped up and told me we had twenty-four hours starting now.

  “Where did the clouds go?” I asked to distract myself. “It was pouring two seconds ago, and now the sun is shining.”

  “I think I made it rain.” Asher swept the hair off my face and over my shoulders, drawing a sigh from me, and for a moment, fantasies of what we might do in the damp grass took over my headspace.

  To center myself again, I traced his collarbone, catching a drop of water as it raced down his chest. “What do you mean?”

>   A crooked smile made him even more adorable. “I was standing out here on the porch thinking of when you used to stand out in the woods in the rain at your dad’s cabin and wondered why you’d do that. I sat on the steps, imagined you out there, and it just…happened. I didn’t even have to call your storm; it’s like you’re always in here with me now. The part of me that has always been missing.”

  My heart swelled a few sizes, and I had an insane urge to jump around and do a dork dance with the crazy energy he filled me with. The rest of what he’d said crawled up through his sweetness, and I gaped at him, ideas brewing. “You created the rain. Just by thinking about it?”

  “Yeah, it seems that way.”

  I folded my fingers into his and scanned the lake and the woods surrounding it. I caught the odd glimmer of blue everywhere, in the sky and across the ground. The energy shield protecting this pocket of reality, I guessed. Had our bond done that? Or Izan? “What else do you suppose we can create?”

  “You’re the Architect,” he said against my ear, pausing to nibble. “You tell me.”

  I managed to stay standing when my knees quivered. Drawing on his energy, I surveyed the landscape, imagining an entire village nestled among the trees. Izan and his people created objects out of their special breed of energy and nothing else. Our magic whatever came from them, so could we do it too?

  Something tugged on my fingertips, drawing my gaze down to tiny tendrils of blue energy spreading out from my free hand and sweeping across the ground and everything that rose above it. Oh, could it be that simple? Everything could be broken down into energy at its base level. Using Izan’s magic founder mojo, I could make anything like he could. Not people, though. Even if I had the power of Izan’s fully evolved elders, I so wasn’t going there.