Alice's Long Road Home

by Rosie James

  He pressed Alice’s hand more tightly before letting it go. ‘Now then, my dear Miss Watts, tell me all about it,’ he said, ‘who is this lucky man, and have you known him long?’

  As Mr. Pennington hadn’t seemed particularly upset at her news, Alice found herself beginning to relax, and she answered all his questions – with occasional help from Valerie who chipped in now and then with some appropriate remark. Then their meal arrived, and the three at the table began to enjoy the first course of fresh whitebait, served with tiny fingers of crispy toast, and accompanied by glasses of a good sparkling wine. And between mouthfuls, Mr. Pennington said –

  ‘So – now that I know that your wedding is to be at the end of December, it will give me plenty of time to find your substitute here in Dorchester, Miss Watts. And although we normally require three months’ notice for someone in your position, we need not take that point too far on this occasion. One month will do. Because I have been given plenty of warning, haven’t I.’ He wiped his mouth with his napkin. ‘So send in your formal notice whenever you like…and until that time your job is still yours, and so, of course, is the house,’ he added.

  For a few moments, Alice felt completely overwhelmed by his kindness. Mr. Pennington had been so understanding…especially understanding that she needed to keep earning as much as she possibly could for as long as possible.

  After they’d finished their meal, they went back into the lounge for their coffee. Mr. Pennington took out a small cheroot from his pocket and lit it, letting the sweet, dreamy smoke waft around the room. Always the perfect way to finish a meal, in his opinion. He glanced at Alice through the light haze.

  ‘So – what date in December is your big day?’ he enquired. ‘I imagine it will be early rather than late? Not too close to Christmas?’

  Alice smiled quickly. ‘No – it’s actually immediately before Christmas,’ she said. ‘On Tuesday, the 23rd.’

  Mr. Pennington was thoughtful for a moment. Then – ‘Well, as it always happens, we – my wife and my daughter – will be in Bristol then,’ he said slowly, ‘because the weekend immediately before Christmas is the one we always spend with my wife’s sister and her family…they have a house in the Henleaze area – to exchange our Christmas presents.’ He took another puff at his cigar. ‘It’s the only time we see them because they have a large family, and my two brothers and wives always come to us in London for the holiday…so it’s impossible for all the clan to be together at the same time. We have to split ourselves up a bit, you see!’ He tried to stifle a yawn – he’d drunk most of the wine in that bottle. ‘We usually return home on the Monday,’ he went on – ‘but we could easily extend that until Tuesday – because I would really like to see you married at St. Mary Redcliffe, Miss Watts…it is a beautiful building, and you will be a beautiful bride.’ He paused. ‘I hope you don’t think that an impertinence,’ he added.

  ‘No, of course not!’ Alice exclaimed – amazed that her boss would even want to be there. ‘I would really like you to be there…’

  ‘As a matter of fact,’ he went on, moving to make way for the waiter to put their coffee things down on the table, ‘my daughter, too, has just become engaged. She and her fiancé hope for a June wedding next year.’ He smiled affably. ‘They only informed us at the weekend,’ he went on, ‘but they are already making plans! So I know that my daughter – and my wife, too – would be delighted to witness your nuptials, Miss Watts…ladies enjoy weddings, don’t they…seeing all the fine dresses on show!’ He coughed slightly over some smoke that had gone down the wrong way. ‘And of course we would only slip in at the back of the church, well out of the way of the bridal party and their guests,’ he added. ‘The ceremony is to be at1.30, I believe you said…?’

  Alice leaned forward and touched his arm. ‘Mr. Pennington…I would love you to be there – but as my…as our guests,’ she said earnestly. ‘No, really, I mean it. Our list is still wide open, and the fact that you will be in Bristol then, in any case, will be perfect, won’t it?’ She paused for a moment. ‘I will always be grateful to you for giving me the chance you did…for helping me climb up the ladder. And that means that I’ve earned enough to be able to save up for things. It would give me so much pleasure to know that on the day you – and your wife and daughter – were there, too.’

  Although she meant every word she’d just spoken, in her mind Alice was quickly adding three more names to her list…she had more friends – more family of friends – than she’d allowed herself to believe… If she went on like this there’d be more on her side of the church than on Sam’s! And every single guest would be someone she liked, loved, respected…almost all of whom she’d met thanks to the war, she noted briefly. The war had opened up her field of vision in so many ways, making her realize that there were others she could love and cling to as well as Sam. Others who could be just as important to her existence as she’d always considered him. And that was a terribly disloyal thought…for most of her life Sam had been all she had ever wanted, but now she not only wanted him, she felt she was searching for other things as well. Could he be having these feelings too, she wondered? Might he be thinking that, after all, his work was sufficient for him, could be his total fulfilment without the burden of emotional problems associated with shared lives? Even though she knew that he loved her deeply? Suddenly, she wished Sam was here now, so that they could talk to each other as she’d been talking to herself over the last few moments. They both needed to find out what their innermost needs and feelings really were…not just the superficial things like weddings and guest lists…

  Alice took a sip of her coffee, wondering if all this introspection was commonplace in other brides-to-be. And wondering about that other couple, and what it would be like at the royal wedding a month earlier than theirs…at that event there would be hundreds of guests at Westminster Abbey who Princess Elizabeth had never seen in her life before, and may never see again. And did Prince Philip really know the woman he was going to marry, the woman who would one day be the queen of England? They, too, had known each other since their teens. To be by her side was one thing, but would it be enough for him, probably for a very long life, a very long time? Or would he spend the rest of it wondering if there was something else…something more…? Had they both truthfully envisaged what their future held…had they given themselves time to really discuss it?

  Mr. Pennington was charmed by Alice’s obvious sincerity in what she had just said about his tremendous influence in her life, and about her wish that he and his family were present at her wedding, and he patted her hand in a fatherly way. ‘Well, in that case, Miss Watts,’ he said, ‘allowing for sudden death and destruction – my family and I will be delighted to be present to cheer you on and to wish you all the luck in the world,’ he added. ‘We will await the formal invitation in due course.’

  My dearest Samuel

  I know you asked me to write to you, but I have deliberately not bombarded you with too many letters because you must be inundated with exam paperwork – paperwork slightly more significant than anything sent by me!

  I have had rather a lot of work of my own recently, resulting, I am glad to say, in successful contracts for the firm. Mr. Pennington – the chief of the London office who I’ve mentioned before – came down today to make sure Valerie and I were not lounging around doing our nails, and I think we were able to demonstrate our skill at moving properties…he seemed pretty pleased. So much so that he took us both out to dinner at the Kings Arms afterwards. It was a lovely meal and a very convivial evening. But I’m so pleased he took us there, and not to the French restaurant…our French restaurant, that we went to on the night of our engagement. I never want to be there with anyone else but you, ever.

  Valerie is still a tremendous help to me in the office. Although she is largely my clerical assistant, she is picking up very quickly on how the business works, learning how to deal with customers – even the awkward, time-wasting ones. She loved being tak
en out to dinner, and her enthusiasm added to the jollity of the occasion.

  I am trying not to dwell too much on the wedding (Alice crossed her fingers as she wrote that) because it is still such a long way off. But I wish it was now, tomorrow! Could you arrange that for me, Sam? No of course you couldn’t. I am learning the virtue of patience!

  I am going to Bath at the weekend – well, to Bristol, first, where Fay will meet me – then we will drive to Bath to meet Evie. And I hope Fay has made sure that the battery in her car has been suitably charged! The three of us haven’t seen each other since we were at Clifton, with you, so there’s sure to be a lot to catch up with. Evie’s parents have invited us to stay for tea – I haven’t seen them since the day after the awful Bath Blitz, when we arrived at their house not knowing what we might find when we got there. I am going to stay the night with Fay at Miss Downs’s place, and return to Dorchester on the 12 o’clock next day – I must spend some time at home and do some cleaning! The furniture has not had so much as a lick of Mansion polish for weeks!

  I pray for you every night, darling Sam – you know that, don’t you, and I keep God fully informed as to what is going on, and where He is most needed. He knows me of old!

  All my love, Sam.

  Alice.

  PS. I forgot to mention something quite important. When I told Mr. Pennington that I was getting married in December, he said that now that he knows the date, I could stay in the job – and in the house – for as long as I liked. He’s also invited himself – and his wife and daughter – to our wedding! Well, that’s not strictly true. Apparently they will be in Bristol visiting relatives on the weekend of the 23rd and he said he would very much like to slip into the church, unnoticed, and see us tie the knot. I found that quite touching, but I do know that he admires St. Mary Redcliffe as a fine building – and also perhaps he may be hoping to pick up a few tips, because he is going to be escorting his own daughter down the aisle sometime next year.

  A.

  Alice yawned as she put the letter into the envelope and added a stamp. It was midnight, and now she was really tired. It had been a long, hot day, and eating a large meal with a glass of wine – and in the company of her boss, which tended to put her on edge – meant that she was now ready to drop. Still, despite that, Alice had felt the burning desire to talk to Sam…she would never be too tired to talk to Sam, to draw him in to what was going on in her life.

  Alice paused, biting her lip for a second, realizing that there were certain things she couldn’t possibly tell him. Like the fact that she was dreading leaving the office for the last time. Her somewhat meteoric rise in the auspicious firm had been one of the most eventful things ever to have happened to her – but she doubted whether Sam gave any of that more than a passing thought. Any casual enquiry he made about her day was always just that. Casual. And it obviously hadn’t occurred to him to touch on the subject of her returning to work at some point – somewhere else, obviously – after they were married. He’d already said that he considered it his duty to be the sole provider, assuming that following in his mother’s footsteps, eventually, in Clifton, supporting her charities and caring for their children, would be all that Alice would ever want or need.

  Eventually, Alice made her way upstairs to bed, her mind a jumble of everything she’d been thinking about, everything that had been said that day…not so much about work, mostly about weddings. Her wedding.

  And Mr. Pennington’s casual remark about his wife and daughter wanting to be there to see everything and to study all the dresses had almost made Alice choke on her wine. Because “study the dresses” had he said? What dresses? She didn’t have a dress – and so far,neither did any of her bridesmaids.

  She sat down heavily on the edge of her bed for a moment. What would happen if she honestly could not find one? Would she eventually have to concede on the question of price and pay an enormous amount for one – even if there was one that she liked and that fitted her? And that suddenly, miraculously, became available?

  Alice flopped down full length, and stared up at the ceiling.

  What was it that Gloria had suggested? That Alice might advertise for a second-hand one? Perhaps it was going to eventually come to that…though it would have to be the very last resort.

  Presently, Alice finished scrubbing her teeth, then left the bathroom, climbed into her pyjamas, and got into bed. She closed her eyes. Whatever else was in her mind, her last thoughts for the day would be of Sam. And her letter to him. For the few minutes it had taken her to write it, he had been there with her. And it had always been the same when she’d received one from him. Their letters had been their private, confidential communication of the spirit. So why didn’t they talk to each other about vital matters as openly as they wrote the less vital ones? They were like two people hiding from each other beneath the pages.

  Going over the letter again, she remembered one of the last things she had said to him That she was keeping God informed of where He was most needed…well, was it possible that she could include her wedding dress problem in her prayers? Was it right to bring the Almighty into such a…frivolous…matter? Wasn’t it disrespectful? Totally inappropriate?

  After a few moments, Alice turned over and screwed her eyes tight shut.

  Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name…please, I have a problem. And I think you’re the only One who’s going to be able to solve it…

  Chapter Eleven

  The early July day was fine but cool as they left Bristol, the intense heat which the country had experienced for almost all of June having subsided a little. Alice sat back and smiled across at Fay as they drove swiftly out of the city.

  ‘You handle this car as if you’ve been driving for years, rather than months, Fay,’ Alice said. She made a face. ‘I can’t imagine me being behind a wheel, ever.’

  Fay raised her eyebrows. ‘That’s a very negative statement to make, Alice,’ she said, ‘because I’m pretty sure that you will drive one day. Like I said before, more and more women will be doing it – just as they did during the war – it’ll be a common sight to see women in charge of every kind of vehicle on the road – and that includes buses and lorries. And I bet that in the future they’ll even be piloting planes, as well.’ Fay pursed her lips, convinced that she’d read the future to her own complete satisfaction. ‘The dam of male dominance in every area of life has been breached for ever,’ she announced firmly, ‘ so at least that’s something we’ve got to thank the war for. There’s no going back now.’

  Alice didn’t bother to contradict what Fay had just said, but she couldn’t imagine herself ever being a driver. Such a thing had never entered her head. Public transport had been how most people had got around, although there did seem to be a few more private cars on the roads now.

  “Old banger” or not, the Austin seemed to quickly swallow up the ten miles or so which separated Bristol and Bath, and at 3 o’clock, Fay pulled up outside Eve’s house. Fay glanced at her watch.

  ‘We’ve got less than three hours to go shopping,’ she said, ‘so don’t let’s hang around nattering for too long.’ Fay had put herself in charge of the day’s task.

  They both got out of the car, but before they could mount the steps to ring the bell, the door opened and Eve stood there, all smiles.

  ‘Oh lovely – you’re here! Come in – mother has made us a cup of tea before we set off.’

  Just then Mr. and Mrs. Miles appeared to greet Alice and Fay, and in no time everyone was sitting around the dining room table, with Eve’s mother standing up and pouring their drinks from a large rosebud teapot. She looked at Alice as she handed her a cup of tea.

  ‘Now then, dear,’ she said, ‘over the last week or so I have been searching the shops for your dress – and hoping to find something suitable for Fay and Eve, too – but there is so little to choose from, as you know only too well.’ She shook her head. ‘The thing is, apart from having almost no stock, every shop has a waiting
list for bridal wear – and they have no idea when a delivery might arrive.’

  ‘Well, it’s kind of you to take the trouble to go looking,’ Alice began, and Mrs. Miles interrupted.

  ‘Oh, it’s no trouble, Alice,’ she said, ‘because shopping – especially for clothes – has always been a pleasure for me. I have probably spent far too long doing it! Thinking about clothes!’

  ‘I would agree with that,’ Mr. Miles said dryly.

  ‘Anyway, there was just one dress available in the place next to the theatre,’ Mrs. Miles went on, ignoring her husband’s remark, ‘and I begged them to put it aside until you saw it today and they promised they would.’ She paused. ‘I can’t say it thrilled me, exactly, because I thought it had a rather unflattering shape. But you may like it, Alice,’ she went on, ‘you won’t know until you try it on, will you?’ She paused to take a sip of her tea. ‘Of course, Jolly’s had three in stock, but they were all spoken for,’ she added regretfully.

  Eve stood up, anxious to get going. ‘Come on,’ she said, ‘we’d better go – the shops close atsix.’ At once the others stood as well and followed her to the door, Mr. and Mrs. Miles following close behind to see them off. Eve’s mother called after them.

  ‘Tea will be ready for you when you get back,’ she said, ‘but don’t hurry yourselves, will you…just take your time and hope for the best. You never know, something might have arrived since Thursday when I was last in town,’ she added hopefully.

  Leaving the Austin parked by the kerb, the three girls set off, starting first at the top of Milsom Street and working their way down through the town, calling in at every shop selling women’s wear, and getting diverted every now and then by the shoe shops they came across.

  ‘Of course, we’re going to have to buy shoes as well, aren’t we?’ Eve said, staring in at one of the windows, ‘because whatever we end up wearing – that’s all of us, not just you, Alice – we shall all need pretty shoes.’ She went to open the door but Fay pulled her back.