Dark Hearts (The Dark Series Book 1)

by Livvy Aarons

  Stumbling to my feet I shouted, “NO!” I could feel the tears brimming my eyes, as I grabbed his hand clutching it to my chest. “Please don’t give up…you can’t leave me. I need you.”

  Aidan looked disgusted, “I suggest you let go of my hand.” The venom of his voice took a stinging bite out of my heart.

  Desperation was beginning to take over when Aidan strapped on his helmet and started his bike. I ran to kneel in front of the black growling beast. “Please! I am begging you to give me another chance. I love you. Please don’t leave me alone…I am so scared.”

  “Get up McKenna; there is nothing you can say to make me stay here. See, I fell in love with a girl who is strong, sweet and I thought honest but that girl doesn’t exist. All I see in front of me is a twisted pathetic, liar who has no clue what love really is.” Aidan turned his attention to Tristan, “Hey demon-guy how about you help her move out of my way. She obviously doesn’t know how to take a hint.” He revered the engine to show his intent.

  Pulling the last of my inner strength to the surface, I wiped my face and stood up from my kneeling position. “I don’t need his pity or yours.” My voice was scratchy at best and when I glanced in Tristan’s direction, he gave me a small smile. The gesture was one of encouragement and helped me move away from Aidan’s bike. As soon as I did though, Aidan flew past and any hope that I held on to vanished when the loud growling of the Harley did the same.

  The trembling started once again; slow at first then they turned violent. My self-deterioration was complete; I have destroyed the small happiness my life has ever experienced. Soon my knees gave out and I collapsed to the ground, curling into a ball then cried for what seemed like hours. The solitary flicker of hope came from Tristan as he picked me up and took me home.

  * * * * *

  The darkness had engulfed me, fate had given me my punishment—a life without meaning or even the drive to go on. I was beyond alone in my desolation but at least when I was alone I didn’t have to deal with people’s bullshit. The first couple of weeks were the high points; all I did was cry and sleep all day in my locked room. My father had found out about my little slumber parties and grounded me for two months. Then my father decided that he would extend it to six months, since I told him that I was eighteen and could do whatever I wanted; something about living under his roof…blah, blah…blah. It wasn’t like any of that mattered anyway Aidan was gone.

  It’s funny that most of the vile words in the world are four letters long: hate, pain, hell, gone and love.

  I can remember the day I finally stopped crying…it was a Thursday; I had been crying for three weeks, four days, and eighteen hours.

  A numb resolve replaced the raw, bleeding pain. Aidan would not be coming back and he did not want me anymore. I refused to go to school for finals, there was no point. Of course, my father being the non-existent parent that he has always been, he thought a therapist was a good idea. I have a rich history with that profession so I knew what to say and do to get them off my back. A couple of years ago I made the mistake of trying to tell a therapist about my inner workings, my ability, my mother and even just how scared I was of the world around me. The good doctor thought that I was off my rocker, well the term she used was “paranoid schizophrenic with severe abandonment issues.” She tried to fix my “chemical imbalance” with a wide range of drugs and treatments from psychoanalysis to electroshock therapy. At the ripe old age of fifteen, I was on Xanax, Compazine, Lithium and the wondrous Ativan. I planned to keep my mouth shut and blame hormones. If my father wants to waste his money it’s his problem. The only person that would ever get a peek into my head was Julie and she was having a rough patch herself. Neither one of us could be around each other right now, due to the Aileen thing. Pete came by to let us know that a burglar had broken into Aileen’s house but didn’t know that Aileen and her husband were at home. Aileen was found strangled and Aileen’s husband was missing; it was presumed that he was dead. The cops found his blood outside of the house in what looked to be a struggle. I however knew that Aileen’s husband was a shape shifter. Paul probably tried to kill him but since they can regenerate so quickly they are pretty hard to kill. I wanted to turn Paul into the police, which like everything else would have been pointless. They would have more questions than I can answers.

  So here I was with no outlet, nothing to piss time away or even bother breathing for. I have hit bottom. My current therapist, the one my father was highly overpaying, suggested that I keep a journal since I didn’t want to talk to her about it. The journal thing seemed like a good idea, at least until I sat down to do it. There were so many things I wanted to say to my mom, dad, brother, Aileen and Aidan. I had made so many mistakes with everyone that I needed to do this right.

  Dear Journal,

  It’s day number two of not crying. I think my tear ducts have went on strike due to the surge in production. The pains in my chest are gone. I don’t think my heart could be shredded anymore. Julie still has not called and I haven’t seen Tristan either. Aidan is never coming back. Damn, I can’t do this now—Gone to bed. Maybe I’ll be lucky to wake up one day and realize that it was just another nightmare.

  MKC

  Dear Journal,

  Day 3 of the great tear drought…I slept for fourteen straight hours and no one cares. I think I’ll go back to sleep now.

  MKC

  Dear Journal,

  I had a dream last night; I was on a boat sailing across the ocean. The wind was blowing hard, tearing the sails into strips and the rain stung across my face. Once the storms stopped, the skies cleared and the waters calmed, I could see the stars twinkling in the sky above. It was strange when I felt myself smile and even stranger that I could find happiness in such a small wonder. While star gazing I saw a lighthouse in the distance, the light was so bright I could hardly stand to look at it. It seemed to be calling out for me. So with hope in my heart I sailed towards the hypnotic lighthouse. When I had almost reached my destination the light faded, leaving me in darkness and once again I was alone.

  The winds began to pick up, the choppy waters rocked the boat until I lost my footing and I fell overboard. I struggled against the current that was pulling me down deeper in the water but my fight in vain, the undertow won. My lungs soon filled with salt water and I gave in to the pull of darkness—I gave in to fate. The lonely pit of nothingness is all that surrounds me now.

  MKC

  Every day that I wrote in my journal, my numb existence became tolerable and I finally felt strong enough to go back to school. I was grateful to my therapist for writing me an excuse for the time I missed but it did bother me that she had to write one so poetically. She just had to put that I was threat to others and myself—why in the hell did they need to know that. I am sure that Judy, the lady in the front office, would love to dish out that juicy little gossip. It wasn’t as if they needed more fuel to burn me with; their whispers in the halls were hurtful enough. Even Julie stared at me as I walked by her, the look in her eyes was one of pity not of disgust; regardless I gave her the space we both needed. Today was about baby steps and I needed my composure to get me through the day. All of instructors had loads of assignments to give me, with the exception of Aileen’s class. That class had turned into a study period that another teacher supervised. Lunch would be the worst, free reign for anyone to harass or interrogate at will. Aidan was well loved by most people in town, so his leaving would be seen as my fault.

  The “I hate McKenna” t-shirts should sell out within the first couple of days. The pressure behind my eyes seemed to be increasing; I needed a Xanax in the worst way. Luckily, the bathroom across the lunchroom was empty. After flipping the lock, my tension eased a little. “Alone at last,” I said aloud then dug around in my jacket packet for my pill bottle. I popped the pill in my mouth and went over to the sink for a sip of water.

  “This is a pretty pathetic sight for someone who is supposed to become a feared demon slayer…wow.” A heavi
ly accented female voice echoed in the bathroom.

  I froze, still bent over the sink. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention. Whoever the voice belonged to was not human. Slowly I straightened up, making sure I avoided looking in the mirror since they had a nasty way about play tricks with the mind and showed you what you feared not what was the truth. However when I saw my visitor, I jumped back a few feet in terror. “H-how did you get here?” I could barely believe that a real vampire was standing before me. “I thought you couldn’t go out into the sunlight?”

  The eerily red eyes fluttered in amusement, “That’s because I am not a true blood sucker honey but nice try though. They should make a school for the stupidly challenged.” With a heavy sigh, the female flipped her thick black mane from her shoulders. “Tristan was right we do have a lot of work. First off, my name is Gretchen and I am an Invidia Witch. Second thing is to stop staring at me—it’s just plain rude.”

  I cleared my throat, “Sorry I haven’t ever seen an uh…whatever you said kind of witch. I thought witches were humans with potions and spells. You don’t look human, your eyes are red and you have fangs like a vampire.”

  Gretchen chuckled while shaking her head in disbelief. “I am going to kick Tristan’s ass for this. Look lovey let me give you some advice; never assume that everything is so black and white. There are more things that go bump in the night than you think and there is a lot more to this world than you know. However, I don’t have time to tell you all of it—my spell as you call it can only keep me here for so long. You are right about some things; such as I am not a human and there are human witches. Human witches barely have a fraction of the power I can wield, it’s rather sad if you think about it. I am one of the most powerful kinds of witch, an Invidia or blood witch; I am half-fae and half-demon. My father is a prince in the fae world and my mother was a succubus in the royal palace in Luxsuria, so when I popped out of my mom, daddy dearest fled from earth back to his home land and my mother died on earth right after I was born. When Tristan found me, he knew what I was and tried to help me cope with my cravings. Before you even ask, the answer is blood. My body craves blood just like a vampire. Now little human do you have any other questions before I drain you dry?” Gretchen lifted one perfectly arched eyebrow, waiting in arrogance for me to answer.

  She could go to hell if she thought I was going to cower in the corner. She may have scared me to begin with but something told me that she wouldn’t kill me. “Yeah, can you not bite the neck? I truly despise the thought of being buried in a turtleneck.”

  Gretchen’s smile broadened. “Relax McKenna; I’m not going to hurt you. I was merely testing your reaction and you barely passed. I did imagine that you would be different than this; Tristan told me that you were brave and strong.” Gretchen circled me, seemingly searching for something that the naked eye couldn’t see. “I am not so sure of his definition of what brave and strong are but you lovey, need help in both departments.” The fluid way her long legs moved was evidence of fae heritage. When she stopped in front of me, she handed me a paper towel to wipe the water from my chin. “Don’t worry little one I am here to help you.”

  “I hate to doubt your powers or anything but you’re a bit late; Aidan is gone and I have failed everyone.”

  The red in her eyes darkened. “No McKenna you have not failed, this is what we in The Oath call a bump in the road. Aileen’s death is not your fault and rest easy, Paul will pay heavily in Bolgie for his sins. The fact that Aidan left is actually a good thing, sometimes when people are too close to the battle it’s hard for them to make the right choice. The heart can’t be strong without the mind and that’s where you lost it. Trust me when I say that time can heal some wounds but it’s the strength that you draw from the experience that heals all wounds.”

  I may have smiled on the outside but on the inside, I wanted to cry. Instead I focused on the questions swirling in my mind. “Why would you help me? I am nothing more than a talking meal to you and what the hell is Bolgie?”

  Gretchen went over to the mirror and began to primp. “Bolgie is hell or at least a part of hell; and I may drink the blood of human but you are not my kind of meal. I, unlike vampires, do not need blood to survive. The blood gives my life force more power and I crave power along with blood. Now as to why I am helping you, let’s just say that I am trying to spend my time making up for my previous mistakes.” Gretchen flexed her hands palms up, soon a reverted pentagram appeared on both palms. The pentagram looked like it had been branded…maybe even carved. The witch then flipped her hands over and pushed back her thick black hair. Behind her left ear a new symbol appeared, it looked similar to a Triquetra but it had an arrows at each corner. She shook her hair back out, snapping my attention away from the brand mark. “This may look grim but things will work out.”

  “You say that Paul will pay for his sins but he sold his soul, how is that even possible?”.

  Those red eyes turned silver, “Dear child you are an innocent one, so naïve yet you have the power to send thousands of us to our bitter end if you would only grab life by the balls and twist. It’s time for you to twist off those balls and replace the ones you think you’ve lost. Aidan left—boo freakin’ who—get over it. He has made his choice and it’s time you make yours. Accept your place in this nutcase of a world.”

  My heart still felt too raw to hear this. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, it’s time for you go. I may accept that I can’t stop seeing any of this but I don’t have to accept that I have to be involved.”

  Gretchen frowned, “If that’s what you want then I leave you to it.” The witch closed her silver eyes and with a single whisper, she faded into a mist that was completely gone within a few seconds.

  Immediately my shoulders slumped since the tension I had been holding on to let go. Gretchen was right about one thing, Aidan had made his choice; one that seemed so easy for him to make. Obviously he had never really loved me the way I thought. The bitter taste of defeat flooded my mouth. I truly made a fool of myself. I moved to the sink then splashed my face with the ice water. It’s the strength you draw from the experience that heals all wounds. The only way I can heal this wound was to cut out the cancer that was my life that I let consume me. If I never see Aidan again I would be better for completely forgetting he ever existed. I left that bathroom a different person, one that had to carve out a rotting heart and throw it to the hounds of hell…I just hope they don’t bring it back.

  December

  Winter brings the bitter cold, simply stripping everything of color and life. The trees are barren and gray clouds mask the sky. The only flicker of light comes from the colorful strings that adorn every rooftop in town. The faint whispers of the past echo in my head but even those dreadful whispers cannot stand against the harsh winter’s w i n d … … …

  Dear Journal,

  Today is New Year’s Eve so I guess I should make a resolution, here goes: My resolution for next year is to survive. I had hoped that my life would have gained some normalcy but what can I expect it hasn’t even been two months yet since Aidan has left. Unfortunately sleeping doesn’t come so easy anymore; in fact I can’t without some medication to aid me along the way. On a happier note, Julie and I are back on speaking terms. I am sure that in time both of us will be less distant. Pete is letting me take some time off until I “get a grip on reality” as he called it. Whatever. My father says that working is good for me, it shows that a person has real character. He should be the expert on coping with life through work, considering he is at work more than he is at home. The stupid jerk even I drove by Aileen’s today—the police still had it boarded up and taped off. I saw Tristan earlier, he invited me to a party but I flat out told him no. Julie told me that Tristan knows where Aidan went and even brought him some money. I thought about asking him about Aidan but I am sure that Tristan would just shrug me off. How ironic is it that Tristan was right, I guess the demon knew all along.

 
MKC

  January

  Dear Journal,

  I died today and left my body behind. When I awoke I saw nothing but white clouds surrounding me. Immediately I thought I was in heaven and sought out to find those pearly gates. I searched for what seemed like hours, only to find miles and miles of clouds. Then in what was barely a whisper I heard a voice say to me, “Jump McKenna, Jump.” Without a protest, I knew I had to listen, so I closed my eyes and leapt from the pillowing clouds. When I opened my eyes, I saw thousands of snowflakes twinkling in sky above. It was beautiful but it didn't take away the pain I was experiencing. The frosty wind felt like millions of tiny daggers grating across my skin. This couldn’t be heaven—no, there was no pain in heaven. It was a blur but I was sure that my free fall was only taking me back to earth. I began to panic at the sight of the oncoming ground; at this speed I would be nothing more than mush to scoop up…I was doomed. I could only close my eyes and brace myself for impact. But with a gust of wind, I was spared and once again I was dancing with the snowflakes. The wind took me to a far away and with that came new fears about unfamiliar faces. However, my nerves were shot and my eyes so weary I started to shout, “Please dear wind, just let me go! I am so tired of this dance, so tired of the cold.” My request was granted the wind stopped blowing. I quickly started falling again and within in minutes I hit the ground with a hard thud. I waited for the pain of death but it never came. It was hours before I had the strength to move and when I did my fears came roaring back to life; I was a very far away from home. The weight of heavy body was too much for my weakened knees. Here I was in my darkest hour wallowing in despair when I felt a warm tingle on my back. Soon the tingle grew hot and my curiosity overtook my self-pity. I was in simple awe with the beauty in front of me. The sun was burning bright orange in the distance; it brought warmth to the icy depths of my heart. Engulfed in sheer joy, I took off in a sprint towards it but the closer I got the hotter I felt and soon I was melting. When the sun had finally melted my legs I couldn’t run anymore, I could only watch the sunrise in its majestic splendor. I may have given up today but I could try again tomorrow.