Duet: Death's Recital

by Lizzie Vega

  “It doesn’t take much to provoke people’s imaginations around here, does it?” Mikayla said, mostly speaking from her own experience, “I think I see things too, right?” She chose to leave the concert hall experience out of the conversation for now.

  “Your colors?” he questioned, “I have no doubt that it’s true. I think it’s wonderful.” He quickly lowered his voice as a group of students passed them on the way to the Union. “It’s part of your creativity. I think it’s cool.” He pointed to a fork in the sidewalk veering away from the Union entrance, “I go this way. Here you are, all safe and sound.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, “It is really cool, if you ask me. You excited for Thursday?”

  She took a deep breath, “I feel better knowing that I’m not going to be alone with it. I hope it works.”

  He nodded, “We’ll do our best and let whatever happens, play itself out. We’ll be super discreet by the way. I promise we won’t do anything to embarrass you.”

  “Play itself out,” she repeated, “Aren’t you clever.”

  He smiled broadly, “And I’ll bring duct tape for Kelli. Just in case she goes into third person mode.”

  That made Mikayla laugh out loud. It made her feel good. “I do welcome her enthusiasm, Edward. I’m glad she talked me into meeting you guys.” She turned to the building entrance, “Seeya Thursday. We’ll plan it all out.” She made a little nervous grimace and he caught it.

  “Don’t stay up late. Don’t obsess over it.” After checking for unwanted ears, he leaned forward, “You’re not crazy. There is something there and we’re gonna find out what it is.”

  Chapter 11

  She’d been on his mind all day. Just slightly more than the thought he could be losing his completely. Ethan sat in his practice room for almost an hour staring at the sheet music pinned to the bulletin board. He hadn’t played a note. He just stared as he played back the episode in the hallway.

  If only he could play with such passion. Such abandon and disregard for hitting the notes with perfection, yet Sara’s brief performance in the practice room hallway had resonated deeply for him.

  Like the notes that had appeared on the paper in front of him, she had appeared out of nowhere. With the interruption down the hall that night, part of him felt cheated. “Please, don’t,” she’d said. What did she mean? Where did she go so fast? I wonder if I’ll see her again, he thought, shaking his head, “she’s a student here…

  “Duh,” he said out loud. Looking back up at the paper he played the first four notated chords. As the last notes began to fade from the keyboard, his right hand played a fast classically infused run up the keys. Lame, he thought, too rigid.

  A second attempt was considered just as weak, but after the third set of the chords, a quickly added improvised blues riff made him laugh. He heard a soft knock on the door. Frustrated at the interruption, he cleared his throat, “Occupied,” he hollered knowing that was the standard response to another student looking for an open room.

  Turning back to the piano, he dismissed another knock as first year rudeness. The third one made him mad. An angry glance at the door was followed by a full handed slap on the keys. An hour of silence had given him too much time alone in his head, too much time to dwell on his issues, to dwell on the unknown road ahead. Seething, he flung the padded door open, “Leave me alone,” he shouted into the not quite empty hallway.

  “I’m sorry,” she said shrinking back from the doorway, violin and bow clutched to her chest, “I just wondered…sorry…never mind.” It was Sara.

  Ethan, startled to the core, slapped his hand to his forehead. “Wait,” he gasped, realizing the annoying visitor at his door was the young woman from the hallway, “I’m sorry.” His voice was strained. He could feel the instant heat of his embarrassment creeping up his neck. “I…um, yeah sorry I yelled, I’m…” He faded off not sure what to say next, leaning down the hall, he saw several open doors to the practice rooms, “Did you need the…did you need something?”

  She smiled and laughed. It made the long ponytail bounce on her shoulder. “You’re not playing a lot tonight.” Her bright eyes flashed at him, “You’re kinda quiet.”

  Ethan glanced at the soundproof door, “I, uh will later I…think. I’m just...”

  “Crazy?” she asked suddenly, “I can imagine what with midterms and the recitals coming up. Everyone gets a little-” Her eyebrows went up and again, the warm smile joined them. It was if she was inviting him to finish her sentence.

  “Stuck,” Ethan responded without thinking, “I get a little too far inside my head and it gets overwhelming.” He surprised himself with the confession.

  “Can I come in?” she asked, pointing at the folding chair in the corner of the miniscule room, “I won’t be a bother and I’ll leave when you want me to.” Something in her voice had a subtle urgency to it, like she was on a schedule, then, “It beats listening to you from the hallway.” She took a step forward.

  Ethan stepped back partially to avoid being impaled by her violin bow. Having opened the practice door further, she moved past him and before he could say another word, she’d parked herself in the side chair next to the piano. She grinned up at him, “Cool.” He tried not to stare at her.

  Already replaying their brief conversation in his head, Ethan leaned out in the hallway to see if he was being set up for a practical joke. The nearest students were halfway down the hall and didn’t acknowledge him as he looked around. Poking his head in the doorway, he gestured down the hall, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  She smiled at him again, “Sure. No problem.” She held up her violin, “I’ll just noodle around on this.”

  As he walked down the hall to the men’s room, there was a moment he thought to just keep going but quickly thought back to the evening before. How the music he’d heard in the hallway was played with such recklessness that he couldn’t not hear it in his head all the next day.

  What did she possess that allowed her to play with such power? The variety of tones and styles she had showed in the fleeting time he had heard her play had become a magnet to draw him in. The way she had looked at him, approached him so carefully. It was like she’d planned it. His defenses went back up as he dried his hands and walked out into the hallway.

  A few steps later, the sound of her violin was drifting out of the open practice room, drawing him back down the hall to his door. A simple Celtic sounding melody, instead of the power and variety of the earlier night, this sounded plaintive, almost sad. Ethan held just outside the practice room doorway and listened. He’d heard the tune before but couldn’t remember where.

  She played smoothly and, as he watched her fingers glide effortlessly along the neck of the violin, he felt a lump growing in his throat. In the middle of the song, she began to delay the notes against the expected rhythm of the tune. It caught Ethan by surprise as he watched her play. He could feel himself physically leaning into the tune to get her to stay true to the tempo. As she played the final note with a full draw of her bow and an almost mournful vibrato with her left hand, he smiled as he realized what she’d done to him.

  “That was, ehem,” he coughed, “wow.” He hurriedly sat down on the piano bench, “what key were you in? The sound was so rich and deep.” As he put his fingers on the keys, she looked down at the keyboard, “In G, so I can use the opening tuning,” she said, with a sly smile, “Thought you were stuck.”

  He played back a series of full-bodied chords back to her in a similar tempo. As he continued the steady bass rhythm with his left hand, he held back for a split second with the right hand trying to replicate the feel of what she’d played. It sounded terrible.

  She nodded her head and that smile he had seen in the hallway reappeared. Hesitantly she lifted her violin to her chin. Ethan looked down to the keyboard and nodded as he repeated the opening phrase of the chords he had played. The first few notes she played were tentative, but as Ethan opened the piano’s reverberation with the foot pe
dal, he turned to her, “Play whatever you feel.” He looked at the small space on the floor next to him and nodded, “Like the other night.”

  “Yes,” she gasped, then leapt to her feet. Her enthusiasm made him chuckle as he continued to play. His mind racing, he tried to recall the styles of what he had heard her play in the hallway. As the selections came to him, he would give her advance warning by calling out a theme or a composer. She would fill in with solo breaks that would weave around his chords, then he would mimic her playing with an improvised riff with the same feel.

  The musical game of tag went on for several minutes at one point dropping down to a slower elegant tempo only to, second later rev back up to a duel between strings and keys. Standing just behind him, Ethan could just catch her movements as she leaned into the music, weaving herself into the joy of the music they were making.

  He turned to her and smiled, elated at the sheer joy he was feeling. He certainly wasn’t stuck. He hadn’t thought once about anything but sharing this beautiful young woman’s obvious love for music. The give and take flow between them, was something he had never experienced. He turned and looked again and saw tears pouring down her cheeks. On the verge of tears himself, he continued to play, running his fingers up the keyboard with fearless speed.

  He heard her faulter behind him, then recover. Another measure later she stopped altogether after her fingers slipped during a run.

  He turned to look again and found her holding her bow hand against her mouth, her eyes clamped shut and shoulders beginning to shake as she began to cry.

  “Sara,” he said softly as he stood and took the violin gently out her hand, “It’s okay.”

  She looked through her tears and began to sob, “Sorry,” she said as she wiped her eyes, “It’s been such...”

  He took the bow from her hand and laid it quietly on the piano. “Are you okay?” Not knowing what to do, he reached out and touched her shoulder.

  For a moment she stopped, then looked at his hand on her, then up at Ethan. Sara reached up and put her hand on his chest and gasped. Throwing her arms around him, she hugged him tight and her tears flowed again as she put her cheek to his chest. He put his arms around her shoulders and held her tight. His emotions running high as well, Ethan’s eyes spilled over from how their music had made him feel.

  “You can see me,” she sobbed, repeating the odd phrase he had heard the night before.

  “I don’t understand that,” he said back to her.

  “I don’t either,” she said smiling through her tears, “And…and you touched me.”

  Ethan straightened, partly alarmed, “I’m sorry…I thought you were sad. I didn’t mean to offen…”

  “It’s really okay, I am definitely not sad,” she smiled, putting her hand back on his chest, “I wanted you to.” She reached up and brushed a lock of his hair off his forehead, “I... can touch you too.”

  “And watch me hyperventilate,” he said as his smile slid into a sideways grimace, “I don’t understand this. You’re kinda scaring me…more than a little.”

  “Oh Ethan,” she said gently, “I’m sorta scared myself. I don’t understand…I would never want to scare you. I would never do anything to hurt you.” She glanced down at her violin, “You were so wonderful. Could we,” she looked at the piano, “do this again? Um, soon?”

  For a second, he could only nod, “Yeah,” then sighed to catch his breath, “Soon.”

  She bent down to get her bow and violin, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, “Big night. I should go now.” She moved to the doorway then turned back to him, “I wondered what you were like, I mighta hoped a little. That’s been in short supply lately.” She took a step back to him, “I feel wonderful. Thank you.”

  He nodded, “I do too,” he looked down at the piano, “Thanks for this.”

  She stepped up to him, tipping up on her sneakers and quickly kissed him on the cheek, “Goodnight.”

  He watched her open the door, then turn with a final smile. She rapped on the doorframe softly with her knuckles, her eyes still shining from earlier tears. She glanced up at the wall, then back to him again. For a moment, the smile faded, then bloomed again, “Sorry if I made you angry.”

  “Long forgotten,” Ethan said just as she closed the door behind her. After a quiet moment, he began to think of other things he wished he’d said. Turning back to the piano, he thought of her smile, then how’d she’d looked over his head. He quickly looked up at the music sheet he’d tacked to the wall above the piano and laughed.

  Three more lines of chords were noted across the staff lines. A curly treble clef and a new smiley face had joined his request for more music. Now it seemed a request had been made of him. He squinted to read the gentle script, it’s your turn now.”

  Chapter 12

  The next day was different for Ethan. Classes seemed to fly as he began to anticipate another encounter with Sara. Certainly, one to manufacture imaginative scenarios to fit his feelings, by mid-afternoon he’d begun to worry that it was all an act. Some cute student knew his background and would toy with him and ultimately hurt him. A creeping fear started an internal conversation, but each time it began, her music came back into his head and pushed the doubts away.

  “You can see me,” he thought for the hundredth time, “You can hear me.” He looked up at the clear blue October sky as he walked out of the science building, You deserve to be heard, he thought as he pictured her smile. He thought of the kiss over and over and caught himself grinning like a crazy person.

  Rounding the corner of the Administration building, the flow of student traffic thinned as the different forks of the sidewalks split into multiple directions. Ethan chose to head toward the Union to grab some lunch. Coming out of the South door of the Union, the warm rays of the sun were too good to ignore and, in a rare departure from his norm, Ethan sat down at a bench to eat.

  Headphones in and enjoying the music from his playlist, he looked out over one of the many greenspace areas. Thinking he would eat and review the days notes from one of his core classes, he found himself looking out at the other students. A couple caught his attention as they walked slowly, arm in arm across the lawn. He’d just taken out his headphones to listen to the sounds of the park when the sounds of laughter were heard from across the yard. Taking his eyes off the couple for a moment, he saw three male students horsing around as they headed toward the union. Broad shoulders and school jackets marked them as athletes, and he sought to dismiss them both by putting his earbuds back in and looking away from them just as they passed by the couple.

  Watching one of them turn and stare at the young woman, he watched the scene play out as something was said to her and her companion pulled gently on her arm to keep her close. The scowl on her reddened face told Ethan that it had been something inappropriate.

  As the students passed each other, Ethan looked ahead of the athletes as a flash of long windblown blonde hair caught his eye. It was Sara.

  She was sitting along the sidewalk, partially turned from Ethan. His first thought is that the approaching jocks would do something stupid. For a second, he started to stand, wanting to intervene.

  Another look at the young men and he saw the same one leering at yet another attractive female student. Replaying Sara’s tears as well as her music in his head, he wanted to protect her. Maybe thirty yards away, he at least wanted to be close to her.

  He watched the young men as they got closer to her. Sitting on the grass near the sidewalk, there was no way they wouldn’t see her. From how she was sitting, it seemed she was looking at them as well and Ethan’s heart pinged in his chest. How could she not talk to them? As long as nothing got out of hand…he thought, then panicked as a new feeling enveloped him.

  He watched helplessly as they closed on Sara. While still walking on the sidewalk, one suddenly lunged up onto the grassy rise where she was sitting. He ran behind her, almost over the top of her, before jumping back to the other two students. Her head tur
ned to acknowledge him, but he acted as if she wasn’t there. They continued walking as if nothing had happened. The relief Ethan felt overshadowed the odd moment and he called out to her as he quickly approached. Waving as he got close, she turned and grinned at him.

  “Hi,” he said brightly to her, “Beautiful day, right?”

  In his focus for her, he hadn’t noticed another girl coming from the opposite direction. The dark-haired student half smiled and cupped her hand with a weak wave as she intercepted his greeting, “Sure, yeah.”

  Confused, Ethan spun away, then looked back. It was if she hadn’t acknowledged that Sara was sitting right in front of her and he slowed to a stop just as Sara turned to look at him. She could see the confusion in his face as he looked back at the other girl, then over to the jocks.

  “Ethan,” Sara said quickly, “I don’t understand it either. Please don’t…leave me.”

  Her voice cut through the rush of noise in his head. Fear and embarrassment, the sudden possibility that this was some manufactured fantasy in his mixed-up brain, all played out in a rush of adrenaline.

  You’re not real, he thought silently, glaring at the beautiful vision sitting on the grass in front of him, not real. I’m goin’ off the deep end.

  She saw his hands clench around the strap of his book bag as he took a step back. Seeing his sober expression, Sara reached out her hand, “Sit with me. I know you’re scared…I am too.”

  He looked down at his feet, “I’m really tired and I haven’t been able to sleep,” he said softly, mostly to himself, “I’ve thought about her too much,” he glanced up quickly at her, “about you.” He turned bright red, “Way too much about you.”