Remember Love

by Jessica Nelson

  "I’m not going to see you at all?" Her spirits plummeted. Alec must have heard the disappointment in her voice because his gaze narrowed and became more focused.

  "We can have dinner if you want," he said softly, as if fearing her response.

  "Like a date?" Caution filled her tone. A date would be more serious than fishing. Fishing had memories to cushion the intimacy, to soften the awkwardness.

  "You could call it that."

  "I don’t know, Alec."

  "It’s hard to make a decision without the advice of your cohorts, huh?"

  Was he referring to Joe and Rachel? Suddenly Katrina wished she had her glasses. She’d left them on a whim. "That’s not true."

  "I wonder who advised you to open the bookstore." His tone implied it hadn’t been her idea. "And to buy your house?"

  "My mother bought it."

  "You paid the mortgage and she took care of Joey. Who thought that up?"

  She really wanted her glasses. "What are you implying?"

  "Sometimes it’s easier to let others choose for us rather than to trust our own judgment."

  "Are you saying that’s what I do?"

  "Do you?"

  "No," she snapped. "I take full responsibility for every choice I’ve ever made."

  "You take responsibility even for other’s judgments." Calmly, with precision, Alec slid the laptop into the black briefcase beside him. "Tell me why you left me at the altar, in the middle of our vows?"

  Her mind flashed back to that day, sunny and without any hint of trouble on the horizon. The music had just started when she’d seen Rachel rounding the corner of the lobby, face white as snow. She’d stammered the story, Maggie kissing Alec in the church office. Katrina had listened, ears buzzing, then she’d walked down the aisle, body shaking with fear. Alec had stood at the altar, his smile trusting.

  As if he hadn’t just had his mouth all over his ex-girlfriend.

  She hadn’t known what to believe, how to react. Bickering had filled the last months of high school. Petty fights. Even on the night before their wedding they’d fought over where they’d live.

  In the middle of the preacher’s words, overwhelmed with doubts, she’d turned in a flurry of silk and rushed out of the sanctuary.

  Alec hadn’t been long in following. He’d burst into the room, thundering his rage. The humiliation, the dishonor. He’d vowed he’d be back, that they’d settle things.

  And all she could think of then was the science teacher, who only months before had been arrested for child molestation. Everyone had known Alec turned Mr. Carmichael in.

  She could’ve interrupted Alec, she mused now. But back then she’d had less nerve, less backbone. She could’ve told him she’d never marry an unfaithful man, like her mother had. He would only leave. Like her father had.

  She rubbed her eyes and leaned back against the faded blue seat. The plane was descending, tilting down, and her ears popped. She waited for the sudden nausea to pass before speaking.

  "Right before the service. . ." Her throat went dry. "What happened is, someone saw you kissing Maggie."

  "Why didn’t you say anything?" His gaze cut into her and she winced.

  "Fear?" Her eyes shuttered closed. "Being yelled at, I didn’t handle it well. I froze, I guess."

  "And before you walked down the aisle?"

  Katrina grimaced. This was embarrassing to admit. "I didn’t know what to do. So I went ahead and walked down the aisle. And then I got cold feet."

  "Cold feet? Nice, Katrina." Alec’s jaw tightened. Such a cliché label for an event that had literally changed his life. And she’d known about Maggie. He felt like he’d just been socked in the gut. His fingers tightened on the armrest. "Someone who really knew me would know I don’t cheat."

  "You’re a hard man to know." Her breath rushed out with a hiss. "I was young and in case you forgot, you didn’t give me a moment to speak. You barged in, yelled, and left. Obviously I should’ve asked you first . . ."

  "Obviously."

  "But I don’t like to fight, Alec."

  "Life is fighting. You fight for the things you want, the things you need. You fight to survive."

  The corners of her lips drooped, her eyes shadowed. "Sometimes staying quiet is the best way."

  Alec frowned. It made his chest burn, knowing a simple question would’ve set things straight. But in retrospect, he understood the kind of girl she’d been. He’d grown up with her, heard her mother’s never-ending diatribes, saw the haunted look in her eyes. It was altogether too easy to see why that young woman would’ve said nothing to her hot-tempered boyfriend.

  His hand went up and rubbed the back of his neck. Had she talked to Maggie at all? If she had, then she would’ve known who kissed whom. But the old Katrina was one who’d say nothing if speaking up threatened her comfort zone. The odds were she never even asked Maggie what had happened.

  And that was what he’d been worried about. Thanks to Rachel and Joe, she’d probably spent the last ten years thinking he’d cheated on her. This new information only added to the grief of losing Joey, the bitterness hounding him this morning like a dog wanting his walk.

  The plane dropped to the landing strip with a sickening jolt. A collective sigh rose from the passengers and the plane filled with the rustle of garbage bags being filled by stewardesses, the click of seatbelts unbuckling and the sounds of anxious riders collecting their things.

  Alec spared a glance at Katrina, who stared ahead vacantly, lost in her own thoughts. Was she thinking of Maggie? Now he understood her sobs that day. She hadn’t left him because of his financial status or for lack of love. The knowledge should’ve made him happy, but it didn’t.

  It only made him more determined than ever to capture her again.

  The line of people in the aisle began to move.

  "I’ll go to dinner with you," Katrina said suddenly. Her soft gray eyes lingered on him before she stepped into the aisle. Alec felt his shoulders relaxing. The days would be long, but the evenings would make up for it.

  He followed her down the aisle and tried to ignore the dark curls cascading down her back. He remembered too well how soft they would be, how they would smell of jasmine from her garden.

  He dragged his gaze away and looked down, which was a mistake. Her figure was curvier now, more womanly.

  Did that confident walk have to do with Joey? Having a child changed a person, both inside and out. She seemed more sure of what she wanted now, forceful while retaining her quiet spirit. He liked the new Katrina. Would she be this way if they’d stayed together?

  He could admit now that the bold and tempestuous young man he’d been may have crushed her gentle nature. But then, maybe not. They’d been friends first and foremost.

  His fingers slid to the small picture tucked into the inner pocket of his suit jacket. God had given them a child and he ached with the loss of something he’d never have. Dreams of the future had never included anyone but Kitty. He fingered the picture and silently vowed they would be more than friends again.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  "How’s your Duck l’Orange?" Candlelight flickered across Alec’s face as he spoke.

  "Wonderful, thank you." Katrina sipped her water, not bothering to hide her pleasure. After a day spent at Times Square chasing children and catching up with Sharon, the quiet dinner soothed her senses. Conversations hummed quietly and soft music filtered through the aroma of fine perfumes and expensive wines to the small alcove where they sat.

  Alec had chosen an upscale restaurant for dinner and she was glad she’d worn her black cocktail dress. Hidden in her closet for years, she’d packed it on a whim, knowing its classic cut was timeless.

  Because she remembered how Alec had always loved her hair down, she left it to curl over her shoulders. And when he’d arrived at Sharon’s cozy little condo, he told her she was beautiful in a low voice that made her heart thump slow, intoxicating beats beneath her breast.

  It was strange
the way she’d forgotten how it felt to be appreciated by a man. Somehow, in her quest to be a Godly mother and then in her journey to survive the pain of losing Joey, she’d ignored an essential part of herself.

  "Why are you smiling like that?" Alec leaned forward and gently touched her hand with his finger. The caress pulsed against her skin, sending pleasurable tingles of awareness through her. Discomfited, she pulled her hand away, evading the question with one of her own.

  "This is a beautiful restaurant. Is it famous?" Her gaze kept slipping to different tables, wondering if she might spot a celebrity.

  A slow smile crept up Alec’s face. "Actually, it’s one of New York’s best kept secrets. Hiding in an alley is a good way to avoid tourists and bring in locals."

  He looked more than handsome tonight. Gorgeous was a better word. Dashing or debonair would do as well. This environment suited him. He had ordered in French, after the Maitre D’ greeted him by name and seated them earlier.

  Reconciling the new Alec with the old was proving more difficult than she anticipated. She studied the way his hair still fell to his collar, a little too long, and how the suit he wore fit his frame perfectly.

  "Bonsoir, mon ami!" A wiry little man glided to their table, his broad smile stretching beneath a thin black mustache.

  Alec grinned, eyes twinkling in the candlelight. "Georges. How are you?"

  "Very well, my friend. And who is zees exquisite lady you have brought to my restaurant?" Georges’ curious gaze flitted to Katrina and she fumbled for her glasses before remembering she hadn’t brought them.

  "A business associate." Alec winked at her and heat flushed through her body.

  "Ah, I have always believed in mixing business wiz pleasure." As Georges spoke, the server came by to drop off the check. Georges whisked it from him before he could set it on the table. With a flick of his wrist, he sent the waiter away with their bill. "I shall take care of zees."

  When Alec said nothing, Katrina shook her head. "Thank you, but that’s not—"

  "My dearest, do you know who you are eating with?"

  She shot Alec a confused glance. He only shrugged.

  "Zees man," Georges hand came down on Alec’s shoulder, "ees a very good man. Very generous. Five years ago, he helped me open zees dream restaurant. I pay him, I say, but no, he accepts nothing but friendship. For zees, I promise myself zat he will always be fed very well." The check waved through the air. "He tries to sneak in, but I know. Georges sees when a great man enters hees restaurant."

  Alec inclined his head. "Georges, your cuisine is exceptional, as usual."

  "Mon ami, I will leave you to your fare." Georges gave a Katrina a graceful bow. "Madame, it was a pleasure to meet you."

  "Thank you," she murmured, delighted by his accent. The little man departed as silently as he’d come.

  "He thinks highly of you," she said.

  "Georges has a big heart. Do you want dessert?"

  "No, thank you. Do you do that for many?"

  "He was a friend when I needed one. It was a repayment, of sorts."

  Katrina picked up her fork but found her appetite had faded. It shouldn’t bother her that he’d helped his friend, asking nothing in return. Yet, it did. Because he’d accepted partnership in Kat’s Korner. And she didn’t expect free advice or help. It just worried her that perhaps Alec’s motives were more than what he’d said. That maybe he did want revenge of some sort.

  She took the silver embroidered napkin from her lap and laid it on the table. "You believe very much in repayment, don’t you?"

  "Life is a series of checks and balances, sowing and reaping." He speared a baby carrot and lifted it to his mouth.

  "I suppose so." She pressed her lips together while Alec continued to eat. She wouldn’t worry about his motives. Blast Rachel and her conspiracies. "What you did for Georges was very kind."

  "I’m not a kind man, Katrina. Checks and balances."

  "I think you’d like to believe you’re unkind."

  "I know it." His eyes glittered, as if he were daring her to contradict him.

  Grown in so many ways, and yet he still believed the lies of his mother? She’d claimed he had a cruel streak. Played unfair. But Katrina knew better and she’d tell him so. The girl Alec used to know wouldn’t contradict his statement. But now, as mother to Joey and owner of Kat’s Korner, she would.

  "Giving Sharon a place to stay is kindness. Helping Georges is kind." She cocked her head. "It’s not so bad to be kind, Alec. In fact, it’s a huge part of being a Christian."

  "Really?"

  "You don’t need to be sarcastic." Her eyes slid to the table. "Kindness is a very attractive quality."

  "Are you flirting with me, Katrina?"

  "No, not at all." She swallowed. She wasn’t, was she? "I’m just pointing out you don’t have to pretend to be the same. You’re kind now, whether you’ll admit it or not."

  Alec studied her, his full lips curled slightly at the edges. "Are you saying I wasn’t kind when I was younger?"

  "Let’s just say you were about as kind as I was bold."

  He leaned forward, intent. "The morning when I brought your purse over and you opened the door with a bat in hand, I knew I was dealing with a much different woman."

  "I am different." Katrina took a deep breath. "I’ve made a decision. I don’t want to sell Kat’s Korner."

  A thoughtful look crossed his face. "This isn't you being 'different'."

  Her throat felt too tight. She forced an uncomfortable chuckle. "I can't change everything at once. What I'd like though, is for you to respect my decision."

  "Is that so?"

  "Please don’t look at me like that. I love my store and I want to keep it." She’d realized it while at the park with Sharon. New York City was lovely, but it wasn’t home.

  "How do you plan to pay your rent? Do you understand you’re going to lose Kat's Korner if you don’t start making money?"

  "Of course." Her fingernails tapped a staccato beat against the crisp white tablecloth. "I’ll definitely compensate you for all the work you’ve done, and I’m more than willing to dissolve our partnership so this doesn't hurt you."

  Alec didn’t move. His face had sharpened into lines and angles, crevices and shadows. She couldn’t tell if he was angry or disappointed. "A contract is a contract, Katrina."

  It was unprofessional, but she had to try. "Why don’t we shred those papers?"

  "Just how do you plan on making a profit?" His arms crossed and his brow lifted.

  "Really, Alec, you can have your money back. I'm incredibly thankful for all your help, but there’s no need for you to worry about Kat’s Korner anymore." Why was he persisting with this? Surely he had plenty of businesses to handle besides hers?

  "I’m not worried and I’m not going anywhere. I now own twenty-five percent of Kat’s Korner."

  "I won't sell." Katrina’s chin jutted. Arguing set her nerves on fire. She felt the color draining from her face, stretching it tight and dry.

  Alec carefully picked up his napkin and folded it over his plate. "Business is not your strong point. It’s mine."

  "I’m not selling," she repeated.

  "We’ll see about that." He stood. "You’re not the only one in charge anymore, Katrina."

  *****

  "I’m the boss." Katrina rummaged through Sharon’s small pantry, searching for any kind of tea to take the edge off her anger. Two hours later and her temper still boiled, though she’d managed to hold it in check during the ride home. Who did he think he was? The owner? She made a sound in her throat. Please. It was her store and she’d keep it if she wanted to.

  "What are you muttering about in there?"

  Katrina pulled her head out of the pantry. "Do you have any tea? Anywhere?"

  Sharon broke into a grin and reached into the cupboard over the stove. "I bought some just for you." She tossed it over and Katrina caught it with a half-hearted smile.

  "Thanks. He makes me so
mad."

  "Alec?"

  "Who else? He thinks he can just waltz back into my life and tell me what to do." She jerked the kitchen faucet on and filled up a cup of water. Yanking the microwave door open, she set it in and then slammed the door closed.

  "Two minutes," Sharon advised. "That should get it boiling. And you might want to stop making so much racket. Timmy finally fell asleep." She sighed. "I’ll be so happy when he’s older."

  Katrina took a deep breath, held it, then let it out. "Someday you’ll wish he's three again."

  "Not at bedtime." Sharon leaned against the sink and tilted her head. "I always had the impression you were still in love with Alec." When Katrina didn’t say anything, she continued. "He’s grown into a wonderful, kind man. What’s the problem?"

  "There’s too many to count. I’ll tell you one thing, though. He thinks he’s dealing with the old Katrina. He needs to realize I’ve grown up and he’s not going to tell me what to do and think he’ll get away with it."

  Sharon smiled ruefully. "Alec appears to be the type of guy who tells everyone what to do."

  "He wants me to sell the store." Katrina slapped her palm against the counter. "I let him partner with me because I knew he was smart and I thought he might help bring in some profit. But now..." She glanced up at Sharon’s too serious blue eyes. "What if he can make me sell?" She shuddered. "It’s all I have left."

  "Oh, Katrina." Sharon reached over and gave her arm a squeeze. "You always told me that if I chose to leave Steve, God would take care of me and the boys. You were right. I have a job, somewhere to stay. Maybe it’s time for you to sell and try something new."

  Katrina was already shaking her head no before Sharon ended the sentence. "Manatee Bay gets its share of tourists. There has to be something I can do to save the store."

  The microwave beeped, startling her. She took the mug of hot water out and dropped her teabag in. "So you’ve been thinking about God?"

  "I’m beginning to, a little." Sharon shrugged her petite shoulders. "I figure it’s time for me to change more than just my living situation."

  Funny, but Sharon sounded as if she had more faith than Katrina. Which made sense. Sharon had never lost every person she’d ever loved.