Not Until You (Hope Springs Book 3)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  Nate blinked at her. “Owe me?”

  She gestured at his handiwork. “You know, for the sink. And for your time.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. I’m the landlord. This is my job.”

  “Oh.” Violet didn’t know why that should disappoint her. She should have realized that he would have done the same thing for any of his tenants. It’s not like he’d singled her out for special treatment.

  “I also noticed a crack in the wall over here, so I patched it up with some joint compound.” He slipped past her to move to the spot where a crack used to run from the top corner of the hallway almost to the floor. It had been there when they moved in, and Violet had long since stopped noticing it.

  She stepped closer to examine the spot. The wall was smooth now, although slightly discolored from the wet compound.

  Violet squinted at it, trying to detect any hint of the crack that had marred it only this morning. Surely no wound could be covered up so completely. But the wall was totally smooth.

  If only it were that easy to patch the cracks in her heart. There wasn’t enough joint compound in the world. And yet, she had to admit that since Nate had moved in next door, the cracks were getting a little duller around the edges.

  “Thank you. That was very kind of you.”

  He held up a hand. “Oh, I didn’t do it for free.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were my landlord and that was your job.”

  “Well, this was extra.”

  “And how much will it cost me?” She couldn’t fight down the smile that kept creeping to her lips. The glint in his eyes was too inviting.

  “It will cost you one trip to the Old Lighthouse.”

  “Oh.” Violet let out a long breath. She hadn’t wanted to go to the lighthouse alone. But did she want to go with Nate?

  Something in her gut jumped, and she realized―she did.

  “It’s a deal.” She held out her hand and shook his, trying not to notice that hers fit perfectly into it after all.

  Chapter 15

  The narrow spiraling stairway creaked under his weight, and Nate winced. Violet had told him the lighthouse was more than one hundred and fifty years old, and if he had to guess, the stairs were original to the place.

  “You’re sure people are supposed to go up here?” Seemed like a lawsuit waiting to happen to him.

  But Violet grinned down at him from four steps above. “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

  “No, but―” He kept climbing, until he was on the step below her. They were eye to eye now, and the openness in her dark eyes made him completely forget what he was going to say.

  “Come on.” She turned to keep climbing. “We’re almost to the top.”

  He made himself keep moving. He had to snap out of it. Obviously she didn’t feel whatever it was that jolted him every time he looked at her. He shouldn’t have invited himself along in the first place. He’d sensed her hesitation when she’d agreed to bring him. She’d only gone along with it because she thought she owed it to him after he’d worked on her apartment.

  “This is it,” Violet called over her shoulder as she disappeared on a platform at the top of the steep stairway. A couple seconds later, Nate emerged onto a wide landing. The floor was bare wood, and the walls were aged-looking concrete.

  Violet stood in the middle of the space, looking straight up. Nate had to stop a moment to take in the expression of sheer awe on her face.

  “Come here.” She kept her head tilted back, the gentle curve of her neck bobbing with her words. “Check out this light.”

  Nate sidled closer, forcing his eyes off her and onto the light fixture. He had to admit it was impressive. Especially when he considered how long it had stood the test of time.

  After a few seconds, Violet grabbed his arm and tugged him toward a narrow open door. “You have to see the best part yet.”

  She let go of him as she stepped through the doorway and moved immediately to the edge of the observation platform, letting her good hand rest lightly on the railing there.

  Nate gave the platform a hard stare. If you asked him, it looked ready to collapse any second.

  Violet turned toward him. It was windier up here than it had been on the ground, and her hair blew in wild tendrils around her face. But it was her smile that caught him off guard. It was warm and open but also sort of private, as if it were just for him.

  “Come on.” She held a hand out toward him. “It’s beautiful out here.”

  Yes, it is.

  Nate shook himself. He had to stop thinking like that. So what if Violet was beautiful? So what if his heart felt a strange contentment every time he was near her? That didn’t mean he had a right to act on his feelings.

  He would have to close off his heart. He’d gotten good at doing that over the past seven years anyway. It had been the only way he could survive.

  Ignoring her hand, he stepped onto the observation deck. He followed it all the way around the circumference of the lighthouse, as much to get his heart under control as to take in the view.

  And the view was spectacular.

  The lighthouse was perched on a bluff above the lake, amplifying the building’s height. On the inland side, the view stretched out across the surrounding countryside, over the tops of acres and acres of trees.

  But it was the lake side that drew his attention. Half a dozen sailboats bobbed on the waves at varying distances from the shore. Farther out, larger ships stacked with cargo containers worked their way toward the port to the south.

  Nate squinted toward the horizon, trying to make out the far shore. But the water disappeared into the sky.

  Something about the lake pulled at Nate, and he moved closer to the railing, until he was standing next to Violet.

  “Pretty amazing, isn’t it?” She was staring straight down to the spot where the surf crashed against the rocks that jutted into the water. The boulders had been worn smooth over time. She had that wistful expression again.

  “Do you come here often?”

  She gripped the railing, lifting her head to peer toward the horizon. “I used to. With Cade. I actually haven’t been here since he died.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have presumed . . . If I had known―” What an idiot. He’d invited himself along on a trip to a place that was sacred to her and her husband. No wonder she’d hesitated. “I didn’t mean to―”

  But she laid a hand on his arm. “I’m glad you did. I don’t think I would have had the strength to come alone. And I’ve missed this place.”

  She swiveled toward the lake again but kept her hand on his arm. He should move, but he couldn’t make himself do it. If being here with him was any comfort to her, then he wasn’t going to take that away.

  She probably wouldn’t be as comforted if she knew the monster you really are.

  Nate shoved the thought deep under everything else. Now was not the time to tell her.

  “So what’s that island?” He pointed to the north, where he could faintly make out an island about a mile off shore.

  “That’s Strawberry Island. It has a great beach and some shops and stuff. It’s a sweet little place. We should go sometime.”

  Nate froze. Had she said we?

  But he knew she had. It was why his heart rate had tripled and his mouth had gone dry.

  He allowed himself a glance at her out of the corner of his eye. Her head was turned toward him, as if she were studying him. He wondered what she saw when she looked at him.

  Whatever it was, it wasn’t the real him. Or at least not all of him.

  He should put this to a stop before it started.

  It’s already started.

  Well, then, before it went any further.

  Getting into a relationship with her would mean having to let her see the real him eventually. And he couldn’t handle that.

  Neither could she.

  He turned toward her. “Violet, I―”

  But the
look in her eyes stopped him. For the first time since he’d met her, he didn’t see that hint of sadness that always lingered there. Instead, her eyes were filled with a new brightness that he couldn’t bear to destroy. Not today.

  “Yes?”

  He swallowed. “I just wanted to say―” His eyes darted to the water and back to hers. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

  “You’re welcome.” Her words were a whisper, barely louder than the wind, and she took half a step closer.

  Nate couldn’t take his eyes off hers.

  A bang from behind made them both jump. A young boy emerged onto the lighthouse deck, followed by an even younger boy, an older girl, and two harried looking adults.

  “Talon, do not climb the railing,” the woman yelled, darting across the deck to pluck the smallest boy off the bottom rung of the railing.

  Violet laughed lightly. “I think that might be our cue to leave.”

  Nate nodded, swallowing his disappointment, and followed her to the door.

  Chapter 16

  Nate laughed at himself. Was he really whistling on the way to work?

  His heart was lighter than it had been in years. And it was all thanks to a certain dark-haired neighbor. In the nearly two weeks since he’d gone with her to the lighthouse, they’d talked almost every day. Sometimes just a word or two on the landing, but more and more often, he stopped by her store after work or they walked Tony together.

  Instead of dreading the days now, he woke up looking forward to them because they meant he might get at least a few moments with her.

  Nate hated to admit how much he had come to cherish those moments. He wasn’t supposed to be allowing himself that pleasure. But he couldn’t seem to resist. Every time he told himself it would be the last time, he found himself craving her company again. It wasn’t only that she was attractive―though she certainly was.

  But it was the way she listened to him, like what he said really mattered, even when they were only talking about the weather.

  The way she always took the time to pet Tony.

  The way she asked him to help her with things around the store.

  For the first time in a long time, his life didn’t feel meaningless. Talking to her, helping her, even in these small ways, had given him something he’d been missing for a long time―purpose.

  “What’s up with you?” Brandon was unlocking the door to the office building when Nate walked up.

  “What do you mean what’s up with me?”

  “I mean you have the most bizarre look on your face.”

  Nate frowned. He and Brandon had talked a few times, and he liked the guy well enough. But that didn’t mean he was about to spill his feelings to him. “Bizarre how?”

  Brandon fell into step next to Nate as they climbed the staircase. “I don’t know. You actually look . . . happy, I guess. For a change.” He led the way up the stairs. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s good to see. Just different.”

  “Of course I’m happy. It’s Friday.” Nate opened the door to his small office.

  But Brandon didn’t retreat to his own office. “No, it’s not that.” He slugged Nate’s shoulder. “It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

  “It’s not―”

  “Has to be.” Brandon pointed both index fingers at Nate. “It’s that blond who’s stopped by a couple times, isn’t it?”

  Nate’s mouth opened and then closed. He’d thought having Officer Jensen meet him here instead of at the apartment would lead to fewer awkward questions. Apparently he’d been wrong.

  “She’s a business associate.” Nate stepped through his office door and closed it firmly.

  “Ah, a business associate.” Brandon’s chuckle carried through the closed door.

  Nate sighed. It wouldn’t hurt anything to let Brandon think Officer Jensen was his girlfriend. It was better than him knowing who she really was.

  Nate took a seat at the desk he’d moved in front of the office’s small window. He’d just turned his computer on when his phone rang. He groaned. So much for his good mood.

  “Benson Properties.”

  “My investor wants to take a look at one of our properties.” Dad didn’t bother with saying hello anymore. Apparently, Nate wasn’t worth the effort.

  “Which one?” Nate had learned that it was best to be just as abrupt as Dad. It hurt less that way.

  “Six twelve Hope Street. Which I’m not seeing on this report you sent me. But he assures me it’s one of ours.”

  Nate could have sworn he heard his heart hit the floor. Of course it wasn’t on the list. He’d left it off on purpose. His throat went dry. “I’ll have to look into that and get back to you. When does he want to see it?”

  “Today.” Dad’s voice was flat, unapologetic about the last-minute assignment.

  “Oh, I don’t know if I’ll be able―”

  “This is your job, Nathan. When I tell you to make something happen, you make it happen.”

  “Well, I don’t know if that property is available or―” The small lie would be worth it if it helped Violet.

  “For the right price, any property is available. Look it up right now. What’s its status?”

  Nate turned to the computer, scrambling for a way to buy more time. He needed to talk to Violet. Give her a chance to catch up on her payments and renew her lease before Dad could pull it out from under her.

  He pecked in the address, even though he already knew the status.

  “I don’t have all day, Nathan.”

  “Yeah. It’s here. The lease expires in two months.”

  “Excellent. And they didn’t exercise their option to renew?”

  “No, but―”

  “What about payments?”

  Nate closed his eyes and pinched the top of his nose. “They’re a little behind, but I think there might be extenuating circumstances―”

  “Does the lease agreement make any allowance for extenuating circumstances?”

  Nate wanted to punch the wall. Dad knew it didn’t. “No.”

  “Good. Then we have no problems. My guy will meet you there in an hour. Don’t drop the ball on this.”

  “I really think―”

  “Look, Nate―” Dad’s voice softened the slightest bit. “I’ve been happy with the work you’ve done so far. If you can make this investor happy, I’ll think about arranging a time for you to see Mom and Kayla.”

  Nate opened his mouth. He should respond. But before he could, Dad hung up.

  Nate stared at the phone a second, then slammed it down. Dad had no idea what he was asking Nate to do. Didn’t Dad know it wasn’t just buildings they were dealing with―it was people’s lives? And this particular building involved the life of someone very special.

  Nate shoved his chair back.

  He’d already ruined the life of one person he loved. Why not another?

  Not that he loved Violet. At least, he didn’t think he did. But he did care about her, much as he’d tried not to. And if he wasn’t mistaken, she’d started to care about him, too.

  But that would come to an end the moment he told her what he had to do.

  But he had to do it. There was no question about that.

  He owed his first loyalty to Mom and Kayla.

  And if that meant cutting off any future chance of happiness for himself, then he’d have to accept that.

  He only wished Violet didn’t have to get hurt in the process.

  Violet jumped as the chime on the store’s front door gave a violent jangle. What on earth? Customers didn’t usually barrel into an antique shop so much as mosey in, sometimes lowering their voices as if they were in a library.

  She set down the paint brush she’d been using to apply a new coat of varnish to a bookshelf and hurried to the sales floor.

  A spontaneous smile lifted her lips the moment her eyes fell on Nate. She couldn’t deny that the moments she’d spent with him lately had been some of the best she’d had in the past few weeks―the past few
years, if she was being honest.

  Violet moved toward him. “Hey, I was just thinking of you.” Her face warmed. She shouldn’t have said that. Even if it was true.

  But at the look on his face, her smile wilted. “Nate? What is it? What’s wrong?”

  She wove through the Victorian living room setting she’d rearranged yesterday. He looked agitated and angry. She reached for his hand, but he pulled away.

  She swallowed, trying not to take the movement personally.

  “Do you have a minute?” The question was brusque and businesslike. Somehow between yesterday and today they’d gone from being friends to being just neighbors again.

  She nodded stiffly and gestured to the curved-back Victorian loveseat. But Nate shook his head and took a seat on the stiff chair across from it. Violet lowered herself to the loveseat alone.

  “My dad just called to tell me he has an investor interested in renting this property.” He stared at the coffee table between them as he talked.

  “But I’m renting this property.” Obviously, he knew that, so why hadn’t he just told that to his dad?

  “I know. But your lease expires in two months.”

  Violet rubbed at her forehead. Was that right? Had five years really gone by since she and Cade had signed the lease on this place? “Okay, then I’ll renew it.”

  Nate shook his head. “The guaranteed renewal option is expired. You would have had to sign that four months ago.”

  “What?” Violet jumped to her feet. What was he telling her? That he was going to kick her out of her own store? “I didn’t know that. Isn’t there something you can do?”

  Nate raised his hands as if he were completely helpless. “I’m sorry. Maybe if you were current on your rent, I could make a case, but . . .”

  A wave of shame swept over Violet. She’d never meant to let things get so far behind. But it had been so hard to keep things going these last few months. And her broken arm wasn’t helping any.

  The betrayal that rolled through her made her shudder. How could Nate have pretended to befriend her, to care about her, and then turn on her like this? Had that been his plan all along?