by Lauren Wood
“Just spit it out Carter, I don’t have all day.”
The younger man was about my age, but there was almost a lifetime of experience between us. He was a man that took orders and though diligent in his work, never was nothing more than a rule follower. He was the equivalent to a grown-up hallway monitor and the last thing I wanted to do was deal with him. Shooting Darryl a look, he just kind of shrugged like he didn’t know what to say and let him go on. We both did and I didn’t interrupt again until he was going over the deal and how much more that they wanted. The number wasn’t too high, but it was higher than I had wanted to see it go. The man was going to make me more problems than he was worth.
By the time I got out of the meeting, I was starving and my head was hurting. I turned the phone back on and saw that I had a voice mail. No one left those anymore and I saw that it was from that number that I had ignored when they had first called. When I heard the voice, I liked to have died. I knew who it was before she ever said her name in the end like I somehow would forget her. Didn’t she realize that I had thought about her for all of these years? If she did, there was no way that she would have suggested something so silly. She wanted to talk if I was going to be in town the next night. It didn’t matter what was in the plan, there was no way that I would miss that for the world. I needed to see her again and I knew that if I was going to get another chance, I was not going to ruin it.
Getting my things and calling my assistant back to get me an earlier flight, I was on a plane in less than an hour and when I touched down, the very first thing that I did was call Mandy and let her know that I just happened to be in town again that weekend and that I would love to meet up with her.
“Oh, okay Greg. That was fast. I didn’t think you lived here anymore.”
“I don’t, but I am back and forth quite a bit. I am glad that I heard your message. I would love to see you again. It has been a long time and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
I stopped before I said too much and waited for her to say something. I was starting to think that I had said too much, but she agreed. “It was good to catch up as well Greg. I have to tell you something and I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. Maybe you would like to have a drink at my house when you are available? I know that it is short notice and you are a busy man...”
“I’m never too busy for you Mandy.”
“Why don’t you come down around seven or so?”
I looked at the clock and it wasn’t even five yet. That meant that I had a little bit of time to visit with Dawn and I knew that more than anything I needed some advice. I still wasn’t sure what I had done the last time she left me and I wanted to know what not to do. I didn’t want to lose her again. I didn’t think that I could deal with it again. I was going to make her see that we were always meant to be together. I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince her yet, but I had a feeling that Dawn would have a better idea about it than I did.
CHAPTER 9
MANDY
I looked around the room one last time before I went back to the counter and took another drink of the wine in the glass. There was nothing that I could do but wait. Greg had always been the type that wasn’t very good at being on time. There had been several times that he had left me high and dry. I started to wonder if it was going to be one of those times as well. I checked the time on the phone and was surprised that it was only five after. It just felt like an eternity waiting for him it seemed.
When I heard the doorbell, I practically jumped out of my skin. There was no other way to explain how I was feeling. I had been waiting for him, cursing him for his tardiness, but now that he was there and my heart was pounding in my chest, I wondered if I really wanted to see him again. It was only a mere fluke that I had the house to myself that night, but now I worried about everything. Was I really ready to tell Greg what I was so afraid to tell him so long ago?
Opening the door, I knew that I couldn’t just not answer it, even if I didn’t want to turn the knob all of a sudden. I had called him over of course and I took one last look behind me, making sure all of the pictures of Alfie were up. I still wasn’t sure if I would tell him the truth, all of the truth, so I didn’t want him to see pictures and start asking questions. While I thought that they looked a lot alike, he may see the uncanniness as well.
“Hi Greg.”
His eyes swept over my body and I was glad that I had kept up with my gym membership. Nothing would have been worse than seeing him like he was and letting myself go. He was still as hard and gorgeous as he always was and I hoped that I had held up as well. Having Alfie had added more curves that I had come to love, but Greg knew me before all of that. We had been so young and back then I was as close to perfection as I was ever going to be. If nothing else, I was glad that he liked what he saw now, regardless of the changes.
“You look great Mandy. You look just like you used to.”
I waved him off, sure that he was just being nice, but I did see the lust in his eyes. That part of him hadn’t changed and I loved that I made him feel that way. It had been a while and though I knew that I didn’t bring him home for that, I knew that it was nice to be thought of in that way. It just meant that at least I still had it.
“Come in Greg. It is good to see you again.”
He walked through and I could feel his body heat coming off of him as he passed me to move into the small house. Like everything, he overwhelmed the small foyer and I found myself backing up as he came closer. “Just hang your coat there and I will get the door.”
I don’t know why I was blabbering, but I could hear that I was, though I didn’t seem able to stop it. I was just so nervous that there was nothing else that I could do but do as I said I would. When I turned back around though, I knew that I was in for some trouble and the night was not going to go as planned. Greg had not moved from the spot where he stood and was just staring at me in that way that told me that he wanted to have me for dinner. I didn’t know if I was meant to be an appetizer or a snack, but it was hard to hold his view when I knew exactly what he was capable of and what he could do to my body if he was so inclined.
Before I could really understand what was going on, Greg was leaning forward, pressing his lips against mine. I moaned against his soft lips as his tongue pushed through to my own. His arm went around my waist and he pulled me to him. I was left to meld against his hard chest, my body reacting to the memories of what he had done to me in the past. Greg had given me more pleasure than I had ever had and so help me, I wanted it now more than ever.
Pulling back, I knew I had to get my wits about me before I lost everything in his gaze. There was part of me that wanted to give into the temptation. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t the past and we weren’t teenagers anymore. Now I had responsibilities and I was sure that he did too. I knew that Greg was the one man that could turn my life upside down. It is what he had done in the past. Love had a way of doing that.
“I don’t think we should Greg…”
He stopped me and apologized, citing an urge that he couldn’t control, but promised that it wouldn’t happen again. I wished that I wasn’t so disappointed in the idea of it never happening again. I had missed his lips on mine and I had to fight the urge to touch them, knowing that they were tingling still from his touch.
“I don’t know what got into me. You were just looking at me in that way that you used to.”
I didn’t know what look he was talking about, but I made sure to turn away so that whatever my eyes were saying, they weren’t talking to him. I didn’t want him to know how much I cared and still cared about him. Greg didn’t need to know how much power he had over my happiness. I didn’t want him to know that about me.
“It’s okay. I uh, wasn’t expecting it as all.”
“You’re lips are still soft and I swear you taste like strawberries.”
I didn’t believe him when he used to say it before, but I liked the continuation of how I hadn�
�t changed. I felt older most days, but at the moment I felt like I was seventeen again and I was looking at the man I loved. No wonder he was pouncing on me, when I was looking at him like that. I turned away and tried my best to make sure that I didn’t send him anymore looks.
“I got some drinks out if you would like one. Do you still drink whiskey?”
He nodded that he did and asked me how I remembered. All I could ask in return was how could I forget.
“It was a long time ago and we were just teens after all.”
“Of course. I guess I just remember the little things for longer.”
“I remembered everything about you Mandy. It doesn’t feel like it has been that long. When we kissed, it was just like the last time, right before you left me.”
I was waiting for that and I knew that I had more than I realized to explain myself. I couldn’t help it, but I had just left. I was the one that was going to need a drink and when I finally got to the kitchen, I poured something a little stiffer than wine. I was going to need it.
CHAPTER 10
GREG
“You know that it wasn’t like that. It was complicated and I thought it would be better to just leave as it was. Everything was perfect and I didn’t want to ruin it. I wanted you to remember me the way I was and the way we were.”
“Well it worked. I haven’t forgotten about you and I have thought about you every day since you left.”
“That was a long time ago. It was what, fourteen years ago?”
“Almost 15 years and though it dragged on without you, it has gone by quick as well. Time used to stand still when we were together.”
I was moving towards her again. I could still taste her sweetness on my lips and I wanted more. I had waited too long for her and I wasn’t going to stop now. The only thing that was going to stop me was words from her lips and I was under the impression that if I didn’t actually let her speak, than she wouldn’t be able to tell me to stop again. I had already given away more than I was supposed to and I knew that it had a lot to do with what was going on. I felt like this was my last shot and I didn’t want to leave anything left unsaid. If she left again, at least it was going to be knowing full well how I had felt about her all of these years. Never one to use words very well, I was more interested in telling her with my lips and hips.
My hands went to her and I pulled her to me. It wasn’t hard, but she was already off balance and she kind of fell into me before I could stop her. I caught her in my arms and for a moment everything was right with the world again and she was back where she belonged.
I kissed her again, this time with more passion and more feeling than I had before. There was a big part of me that wanted to take her right there. Her body was soft and giving and I knew that she was ready for me. But I wanted more than just one night together. I wanted her to really know how I felt about her and for her to finally tell me that she felt the same way. I didn’t want to make her, even though I knew I could. What I really wanted was for her to see how right we were for each other and how much better it would be together, the way it always should have been.
Moving away so that I could see the look on her face, I could tell that there was a part of her that was holding back. She wanted me, but there was still something in her dark eyes that told me that she wasn’t quite ready to let it all go yet.
So I gave her some air to breathe and I took a drink of the whiskey that she had poured for me. I would be the first to admit that I was rather surprised that she remembered. I didn’t even know if I ever saw her again if she would even remember my name. It had been so long ago and all of this time, I had tried to tell myself that I was most likely nothing to her. Now I was starting to wonder if I was more than just a lay to her. Was I more to her back then as well?
“Why did you leave me Mandy? Why did you leave without saying good bye? You just disappeared and I was left missing you.”
I had to know and though I hated the way I sounded and the whine in my voice, I pushed forward and waited for the answer that I had been dying to know all of the time she had been gone.
“I figured that you would move on pretty quick Greg. We were young and I knew that there was a lot going on back then. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just didn’t want to fight with you either.”
“I would have rather you yelled at me and called me anything that you wanted. At least then I would have known. You still really haven’t told me why you left.”
She bit her bottom lip and I remembered that it was one of her nervous ticks. I would have given anything to know what was on her mind to make her look that way. She wouldn’t meet my eyes and the wait was becoming too much to bare. I was tired of waiting, but I didn’t want to stop her if she was going to finally tell me. I had waited almost fifteen years to know, but the last five minutes was the worst.
“I don’t know what to say Greg. There was a lot going on.”
“Like what?”
I wasn’t going to let her cop out like that and I knew that there was more to it. We had something great and I know that she felt it too. She wouldn’t have thrown it away for nothing. There was something going on and I wanted to know what it was that had made her leave me. It was most likely not something that I wanted to hear, but it had to be better to finally have a settled mind. All I had thought about for years was what had gone wrong. It had given me a complex in a way and that was harder to live with than living without her. The doubt was almost mind numbing.
“I just couldn’t be with you and I knew that if I told you that and you asked me to stay, I wouldn’t be able to say no. I was never able to deny you anything Greg. That was the problem. I was the one that was in love and you were just, I don’t know, playing with me or something. I just had to go before it got worse. You weren’t ready for a relationship and all of that.”
I didn’t understand her really. She was talking kind of sketchy and it sounded like nonsense. I wasn’t sure why she couldn’t just tell me what it was that made her leave. I didn’t want the watered down version. I wanted the real version of her reasons. I wanted the truth and getting it from her was not an easy task.
“That isn’t good enough Mandy. You called me here, so tell me why you wanted me here. Why now?” I don’t know why, but I could feel my body tensing up and the last thing that I wanted to do was have the conversation that I was asking for. I debated going back to the style that had me kissing her and using my body to make her succumb to me. It could be enough if I knew that her mind would come next, but I didn’t know that. In truth, the likely hood was that she would just leave me again and that was not a feeling that I wanted to welcome back into my life. Having her back in my arms, I knew that there was nowhere else that she was supposed to be.
She fidgeted some more and I waited her out, sipping on the whiskey that brought the welcomed fire to my throat. It was almost enough to cover up the feelings that were in my heart. I knew that I wanted her to finally give me the closure that I so desperately needed to go on. Others saw me one way, but with Mandy I was just a man that was in love with a woman that obviously didn’t feel the same way. As hard as it was to handle, I kept telling myself that it was going to be easier when I knew the real reason and I could just go from there.
“I was about to leave and I just didn’t want to have this conversation with you.”
“Then why did you call me here? What was it that you wanted that would have made you finally call me after all this time?”
CHAPTER 11
MANDY
I didn’t know what was going on with him. One minute he was kissing me and making me forget my own name and the next minute he was looking at me as if I was the devil. I didn’t know which one was worse, though I knew that I didn’t like him mad at me. This was the reason that I had ran away, that and because of the future. I knew that Greg was not ready to have the same future as me. Why couldn’t he see that I was trying to help him? He wanted to go to business school. The man had big dreams and none of them
involved being saddled with me and a baby.
The words were at the tip of my tongue, but his eyes were making it impossible to look at him. I couldn’t look at him and tell him what I needed to tell him. I started to think that it would have been better if I would have simply told him in a text like a coward. I was certainly wishing that I had done it now.
“There is something that I never told you that was going on Greg. I knew that you were going to college and I wanted to leave before the summer was over. I was afraid that you would want to stay instead of going to college like you were supposed to. Look what you have done. It was for the best that I left Greg, can’t you see that?”
I was not being very clear about what I was talking about, but I didn’t want to. I was hoping that he would just let it go. It was so many years ago after all and if it wasn’t for Alfie, there would be no proof that we had ever been anything to each other so long ago. Alfie was the reminder that made it impossible to forget.
“What was going on?”
Looking away, the green eyes were burning into me and I took a drink of the whiskey that was poured for him. The wine wasn’t cutting it anymore and I needed something stiffer to drink for the courage that I was about to need.
“I was pregnant.”
His face changed and I knew then that it was not going to be something that could be glossed over anymore. There was something in the deep recess of his eyes that made me nervous. The anger was back and it was completely different than before. It would appear that Greg now had a new reason to hate me.
“You were pregnant and you never told me?”
I nodded and waited for what would happen next. I was holding my breath, hoping that he would just say what he had to say and leave it at that. The whiskey was not working fast enough and I took another gulp and finally met his eyes.
