Embracing the Knight

by Langston, Jenn

  After a long sigh he nodded, then bid her a good day before leaving. Although she was hurt by his comment, she had needed to hear it at that moment. Being with him made it too easy to forget. He was such a skilled rake that it was hard not to fall for his tricks. However, she couldn’t forget him. She never could.

  Later that night as she watched him twirl Camellia across the floor, she recalled their conversation and every minute of their kiss in her father’s hallway. She bit her lip and tried to cast the memory aside.

  “If you wish to quit for the night, you only need to say so,” Lady Knightly murmured at her side.

  Claire swallowed. She hated how transparent she was. “No, my lady. I’m enjoying myself even when I’m not dancing.”

  “Is that why I’ve had to make excuses for three different gentlemen requesting a dance? Honestly, this would be much easier if we left.”

  At that moment the current dance ended and before long, Ian arrived at her side. She ignored him, hoping he came to speak to his mother. Angry with him or not, having him so near affected her body in a decidedly unsettling manner.

  “Miss Ashford, will you honor me with this dance?” He raised an eyebrow while he waited for her response.

  She lifted her dance card as if to check for availability. “I don’t—”

  “Her dance card is blank for this set,” Lady Knightly hastened to reply.

  Resisting the urge to glare at her chaperone, she took Ian’s arm. She had no qualms about denying him. Doing so, though, in front of his mother was probably not her best option. Claire had too much respect for the woman. It no longer mattered that their relationship had begun on shaky grounds, Claire was now pleased the lady had taken an interest in her.

  “I see you are still angry with me,” he observed as they began the first steps of the dance.

  “I’m not angry,” she lied. “I just don’t feel much like dancing this evening.”

  He laughed. “You’re at a ball. There is little hope of getting out of here without dancing.”

  “Which is what I’m doing right now.”

  “What can I do to make it up to you?”

  There was no way he could manage such a feat. After all, he couldn’t change himself to the point of wanting her and only her. However, in order to appease him, she would be cordial.

  “I believe I have decided what you can do for me, my lord,” she told him as he took her arm for the next steps. “Just be my friend. Nothing more.”

  “That is all you want of me?” This question came out easily, but his eyes held an emotion she couldn’t place.

  “At one point, I’d like to think we were friends. I would simply like to go back to that time.”

  He bowed his head. “As you wish.”

  They finished the remainder of the dance with companionable small talk. On the surface, everything had appeared to have returned to their previous ease, but Claire could feel the strain coming off of him. She didn’t understand Ian at all. Men were supposed to be simple creatures, but the reality was, they were even more complicated than women. Just in different ways.

  “Thank you for the dance.” Ian led her back to his mother. “If you have a desire to see the gardens or would care to partner me in another dance, please feel free to seek me out.”

  “I will.”

  After a bow, he moved from her side and she felt a great sense of loss. As if she were losing her best friend, not gaining one. Holding her breath, she tried to let go of the feeling.

  In the end, none of this mattered. Once she wed, their relationship would have to be reduced to mere acquaintances. Maybe then she would be able to rid herself of the aching she endured each time he was near.

  “I believe this waltz is mine,” Lord Higgins acknowledged when he arrived beside her.

  She smiled. “Of course, my lord. I’ve been looking forward to it.”

  The earl took her onto the dance floor, and she couldn’t help but compare the two men. Although Higgins was skilled, nothing could come close to the sensations of being in Ian’s arms. At the moment, she felt at ease, but with Ian she burned. Why did life have to be so unfair?

  “I would like to speak to you privately,” the earl whispered as they glided along the floor. “Do you think you could arrange it?”

  Her body stiffened. So much for feeling at ease. “What do you mean, my lord?”

  “Your chaperone is a bit overbearing. If you could discreetly slip into the library or another room, I could do the same.”

  Claire bit her lip. She didn’t like the sound of that. No gentleman would suggest anything that could compromise a lady.

  “Lady Knightly is simply protecting me from society’s censure. Out of respect to her, and myself, I can’t do that.”

  His jaw clenched. “Be reasonable, Miss Ashford. I have no intention of taking advantage of you. The idea alone is absurd, especially while a ball is held a door away.”

  Allowing her features to relax, she offered him a smile. “Of course it is. I’m not afraid of what you will do. Simply of what everyone will say.”

  “Then what do you propose? My words are for you alone, and I don’t relish the idea of a public conversation on the dance floor.”

  “I don’t think Lady Knightly would object to a walk through the garden. She can keep her distance and—”

  Before she could finish her statement, Lord Higgins broke off the dance and pulled her away from the crowd, intent on the terrace doors. Although surprised, she had nothing to fear from him. Lady Knightly, on the other hand, would be furious when she found out.

  “Lord Higgins,” she chided. “This was supposed to be done once our dance had concluded and I spoke to my chaperone.”

  He led them down the steps and into the garden. “Yes, but isn’t this more pleasant? A number of couples are still enjoying the dance, so we are awarded with more privacy this way.”

  Nodding, she tried to concentrate on keeping up with his swift pace, but his gait was longer than hers. “Can we slow down?”

  He slowed, marginally. “I’m sorry, my dear. I simply wanted to ensure your chaperone didn’t follow us out here.”

  Noticing a bench right off the main path, Claire tugged on his arm. “That looks like a lovely spot. It’s well-lit and there are no other people about.”

  “Very well.” He led her to the bench where they sat down.

  “Can I ask you something?” She leaned to the side in order to judge his response.

  He nodded.

  “Is it Lady Knightly who you dislike or is it her chaperone methods you don’t care for?”

  To her surprise, he laughed. “Although her son and I share different opinions, I have no quarrels with the woman. Her methods are simply . . . unique.”

  It was Claire’s turn to laugh. “Very well said. Now what did you wish to talk to me about?”

  He took her gloved hand between his. The contact surprised her and she almost jerked her hand back. Forcing herself to remain immobile, she took a deep breath. After all, she had allowed Ian to do much more than touch her hand.

  “Miss Ashford, it was over a month ago when I acknowledged my intentions to your brother of my wish for us to wed. At that time, he told me of your reluctance to enter into a betrothal so early in the season.”

  Claire nodded as she bit her lip. The direction of his thoughts were clear, and she wasn’t ready to make a decision now, any more than she had been those weeks ago. Her hand began to sweat between his and she gently pulled. He did not release her.

  “I’ve asked you here to see if your decision has changed.”

  Pulling her hand, harder this time, he finally let her go. “I don’t know. This is a very big decision.”

  “What is holding you back? You need to marry. I can make you a cou
ntess, my fortune is vast, and my looks are more than passable. I wish to claim you as mine. Please tell me what you need to make it so.”

  Her breathing sped as discomfort crawled over her skin. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be claimed. The way he said it made her feel like a possession. However, if Ian had been the one to draw her aside, to be holding her hand . . . No, she had to stop this comparison.

  “I don’t know. I imagine most ladies feel the same concern as I do.”

  As he shook his head, he leaned closer, almost face to face. “No. They don’t. Most jump at the proposal, or throw themselves at gentlemen before receiving one. You are the exception here.”

  She wrung her hands, feeling inadequate. “I’m sorry.”

  “Perhaps you just need a little encouragement.” He leaned closer, still.

  “No, my lord. I—”

  His lips touched hers.

  Irritated that he didn’t listen, she pushed at his chest, but he grabbed her and pulled her tighter against him.

  A trickle of fear slid over her when he forced his tongue between her lips. She couldn’t get away, and she couldn’t scream.

  Pushing at him much harder, she tried to wiggle her body free. What had she gotten herself into? Panic seized her, and she doubled her struggle but it proved futile.

  Then to her surprise, the earl released her. Shock registered on his face as he flew backward. Behind him, Claire took in the sight of Ian’s rage-filled face.

  “Get away from her.” She shivered at the menacing calm in Ian’s voice.

  “This has nothing to do with you, Knightly. She doesn’t want you. I’ve been the one she’s been spending her time with.”

  A growl ripped from Ian’s throat. “It doesn’t matter what you believe. You can’t have her.”

  Claire wrapped her arms around herself, horrified they would fight again. She couldn’t take it. Memories of Ian’s bruised and broken face bothered her still. She couldn’t handle the thought of him being hurt again.

  “That isn’t up to you.” Lord Higgins stepped closer to Ian.

  “No.” Gordon nearly spit the response as he arrived next to Ian. Lady Knightly followed on his heels. “But, it is up to me. If you think attacking my sister is the way to achieve my blessing, you’re mistaken.”

  “Come along, my dear.” Lady Knightly put her arms around Claire. “We need to move on before there’s a scene.”

  Claire dug in her heels. “No. We can’t leave them. Ian’s face—”

  “The gentlemen can handle it. My son might sustain bruises, but he can take care of his own.”

  Claire didn’t want to leave, even as she allowed her chaperone to pull her further away, their arms linked.

  “Now, we are going to slowly integrate back into the crowd. Keep your expression neutral as if our stroll was uneventful. If anyone questions whether we left together or not, I’ll deal with it.”

  Swallowing her unease, Claire worked to school her expression. The feat wasn’t easy, but she didn’t have a choice. A wave of gratitude hit her as she realized how much she owed Ian and his mother.

  “Do you really think my reputation could be damaged?” Her voice was soft, not really wanting to hear the answer.

  Lady Knightly’s lips were a thin line. “Honestly, no. Not this time. But, there is always a possibility. What had possessed you to do such a thing in the first place?”

  “I didn’t know he would break the dance. Then when it was done . . .” She shrugged. “I suppose I didn’t think I’d be in any danger with him.”

  “There is always danger for women. Either physically or by reputation. Thank God Ian noticed your absence. He had the foresight to ask your friend if she’d seen you. Miss Bradley confessed to seeing you heading out here. I trust she will hold her tongue?”

  “Absolutely.” Then, an unnerving thought touched her and she bit her lip. “If she saw me, then others may have as well.”

  “Of course. However, your friend had reason to take note of it, where others wouldn’t care.”

  “I hope you are right.”

  Before they ascended the steps, Lady Knightly turned to her and lowered her voice. “Give me a smile. Think about something pleasant before we go in there. After all, they’ll be looking for your weaknesses.”

  As Claire forced a smile, tears formed in her eyes. “What would I do without you?”

  “Not too long ago you were cursing my name.” The viscountess laughed. “Well, I’m just glad I can be here with you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now smile. We’re going to go collect our wraps and have the carriage readied. I will take you home and your brother can take Ian in his carriage.”

  Claire nodded and mustered a smile. As she moved through the people, she thought about Ian. He had saved her. The love she had for him expanded in her chest and carried her all the way to the carriage.

  Once inside, Claire let go of the thought and allowed her depression to settle in. After tonight, Lord Higgins was no longer an option. And, she couldn’t marry Ian without condemning herself and him to a miserable life. The end of the season was approaching, and she had no suitors. She would forever be a burden to her family.

  Chapter 12

  Ian tapped his foot on the floor of the carriage, irritated at the sluggish pace. Surely, the thing could move faster. After last night, he was desperate to see Claire. To make sure she was all right after Higgins had attacked her.

  The moment would be forever etched in his mind as a red-hot haze when he’d found them in the garden. Claire had been struggling to free herself and that bastard had his arms wrapped tight around her. It had taken every ounce of his strength not to plant a fist in the man’s face. Again.

  His hands clenched, and he had to breathe slowly to calm himself. He needed to let go of this anger. After all, it wouldn’t do well for him to barge in on Claire and her family this morning while in a rage. Last night Gordon had politely extended the invitation for an early breakfast, and Ian refused to turn it into anything other than a friendly meal.

  When he arrived, Ian was surprised to be greeted by a somber butler who directed him to the study. That was odd. Normally Gordon wouldn’t be working on business at such an early hour. Once inside the room, Ian was surprised to see his friend resting his head in his hands at the great desk.

  “Gordon?” Ian began. “Are you well?”

  The swollen eyes, red with fiery tears that mirrored the tragedy of their youth said it all. “He’s gone. He passed away early this morning with a smile on his face.”

  “Dear God. I’m so sorry.” Overcome with sadness, Ian dropped into the chair. “This is a family time, I shouldn’t have come.”

  Grief made Ian’s voice thick and he closed his eyes to prevent his emotions from taking over. Donald Ashford had been a good man and would be sorely missed.

  “I’m glad you’re here. My sisters . . . They . . . I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been expecting this, but I just can’t—”

  “Yes, you can.” Ian called upon the stern tone his father had always used on him. “You are Baron Dailey now. The head of this household. Your father gave you everything you need to succeed. Use it.”

  Gordon sat up straighter, determination on his face. “You’re right. It’s past time that I grew up. Took responsibility. Became the man my father expected.”

  “You already have. Just show everyone that.”

  Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose then took a deep breath. “I have a matter of business that I’ve been putting off. After the funeral, I’m going to need to disappear for a few days, maybe longer. Can you take care of my sisters in my absence?”

  Surprised, Ian stared at his friend. Was this the matter that had driven Gordon to drink? He wanted to ask, but
held his tongue. Gordon had loved his father and wouldn’t leave his sisters unless the matter was urgent.

  “You know I will. Is there anything I can do to help you, besides looking after Claire and Carolyn?”

  “No.” Gordon raked a hand through his hair. “I’ve done something I shouldn’t have. I’ve been putting it off, but now it’s time I face the consequences of my actions.”

  Ian lifted an eyebrow as he surveyed his friend. “This is something you intend to return from, isn’t it?”

  His friend’s smile was strained. “Yes. I just need time to sort through a few things and right a wrong.”

  “Well, you can count on me to take care of your sisters. I promised your father I would and I can offer no less to you.”

  A grin snuck across Gordon’s face. “He told me to go take care of my business. That he already made arrangements for my sisters in the event of his passing. I should have known he would have asked you.” Gordon’s face turned ashen. “What am I going to do without him here to ground us?”

  “It will come before long. Time provides a bandage we can’t see.”

  “I know. Here I am wallowing in my misery when there are matters to attend to. Before he passed, father contacted the funeral furnisher, so his wishes should easily be carried out. Carolyn insisted she begin draping the room with black fabric without waiting for direction, and Claire has disappeared into the garden. We are such a mess.”

  “Tell me what to do. Does the funeral furnisher know of the baron’s passing?”

  Gordon nodded. “We sent word right before your arrival.”

  “Does Carolyn need help or to be stopped?”

  “No. I think the activity helps her in some way. It’s Claire I’m most worried about. She hasn’t spoken a word since I told her. She didn’t even have a physical response. Merely walked outside.”