Embracing the Knight

by Langston, Jenn

  Once the two dejected women left his house, he hurried to get his stallion saddled. Phoenix appeared as eager as Ian for their run today. Every day following his return home, he and Claire had met at the edge of both estates to enjoy a private ride together. Despite being late, today would be no exception.

  Considering the country setting didn’t invite many occasions to randomly visit one’s neighbors, he relished the opportunity to see her without having to make excuses to anyone. Not only was the ride pleasant, but it awarded him the ability to be himself around her.

  Unfortunately, he still could not propose to her again. They hadn’t talked about the future for either of them, and he was reluctant to bring up the subject. Although their friendship blossomed into so much more than he had ever imagined, she didn’t appear to see him as anything more.

  When he finally reached their agreed-upon meeting location, she was waiting for him, perched on top of her mare and looking as vibrant as ever. His heart ached simply gazing upon her. Shaking her head as if in disappointment, Claire set her heels to the horse’s flanks and darted away. Grinning, he set off after her.

  His heart sped as she took the turns with excellent form. Pride swelled within him. His Claire was a skilled horsewoman. Was there nothing about her he didn’t love?

  Reining in her horse, she shot him a triumphant smile. She may have won the race, but he was far from done fighting the war. In the end, he would either make Claire his or he would give up on the whole idea of marriage for love. Once he had an heir, he would travel. Alone.

  “You were late.” Claire frowned as he helped her dismount, allowing his fingers to linger a second longer than necessary on her waist. “If you have other duties to attend to, I—”

  “No,” he cut her off as he tied the horses to a nearby tree, leaving them enough lead to graze. “No other duties are more important than this.”

  She blushed, but turned away quickly, clearly not wanting him to know how much his words affected her. The knowledge gave him such hope. Perhaps he was wearing down on her defenses much more than he thought.

  “Then why were you late?” Her voice held a teasing quality. “Whatever you were doing should have been easily tossed aside.”

  He laughed, thinking about the reaction to tossing his visitors outside. “Doing so to a lady is generally considered ungentlemanly.”

  Her face fell, but she seemed to catch herself and school her expression. “Oh. And who was the lucky lady receiving all your coveted attention?”

  “Lady Abernathy and her daughter. They came by today to extend an invitation to a dinner party.”

  Claire tilted her head and looked at him through the corner of her eyes. “Is Lady Ellie the type of wife you are looking for? I hear her direct approach to gentlemen got her in a questionable situation back in London.”

  He clicked his tongue. “And she appeared to be such a nice sort.”

  “If you like that kind of thing.” Claire shrugged, making him laugh again.

  “Come on. Let’s walk down by the stream today.”

  “Wait.” She hurried back to her mare. “I almost forgot.”

  After pulling out a bundle, she walked beside him, her hands holding it behind her and just out of his reach. The small smile on her lips made his stomach tighten. His soul yearned for her. She stood so close, yet so far away.

  Once they found a pleasant spot shielded by the trees with a beautiful melody serenading them from the stream, Claire pulled her bundle forward and laid out a blanket. Settling herself on it, she waited for him to do the same.

  “This is nice,” he complemented, then froze as she handed him a pear.

  “You had told me that one day I would look back kindly on our adventure in the woods.” She bit her lip. “You were right.”

  His breath caught as she looked at him with so much emotion he could hardly stand it. He would give anything to learn her thoughts. Not knowing was killing him. She bit into her pear and a look of pure ecstasy crossed her face.

  Ian nearly lost it. His breeches were uncomfortably tight, and he had to look away. Her little acknowledgement to their trek through the woods had hit him hard enough without enduring her reaction to the juicy fruit.

  As he took a few bites of his pear, he tried not to think of her licking the juice from her lips or the satisfied moans escaping from her mouth. His body wound tighter and he didn’t like it.

  “Aren’t you pleased?” She sounded much closer to him than before. So close he could smell the jasmine of her skin combined with the ripened fruit. A mesmerizing aroma that would forever be Claire to him.

  When he turned to face her, she was on her knees, right there beside him. He swallowed, hard. “This is nice,” he forced out of his suddenly dry mouth.

  “I’m sorry if I’ve done something wrong. I just thought this would be a good tribute to the memory.”

  “It is, Claire. I do—”

  Her mouth closed over his. Shock held him still as desire flooded him. He’d missed this. He’d missed her. The tentative feel of her lips was the only thing holding him back from devouring her. His whole body rejoiced as he took her in his arms and allowed the kiss to happen on her own terms.

  Much too soon, she pulled back and looked at him as if surprised by her own actions. However, he’d be damned if he’d allow her to feel bad about kissing him. As far as he was concerned, she had his full permission to do so at any time.

  “What was that for?” he inquired, not releasing her from his grasp.

  The curling of her lips brought a sad smile. “Ian, you’ve been so good to me and my family. Honestly, I don’t know how I would have been able to survive these weeks without you. I really wanted to do something nice for you in return.”

  Unable to stop himself, he brushed his lips over hers. “I already told you. No repayment is ever required.”

  Her smile turned sly. “Well, as it so happens, I like kissing you, so the payment worked in my favor as well.”

  “Is that so? Then I suppose I would have no complaints if you were to do so again.”

  “Maybe I will . . . if you agree to come to dinner tonight.”

  Ian drew in a deep breath as he shook his head. “You know I can’t. Mother and I joined you yesterday. Do you know what everyone will say if I’m constantly about?”

  Her bottom lip stuck out in an adorable pout. It took every ounce of his willpower not to suck the delicate flesh into his mouth. She had cast a spell on him. He would never get enough of her.

  “Let them talk. I don’t care.”

  That got him to release her, allowing her to settle back on the blanket. “Talk like that will damage your reputation.”

  She traced the pattern on the blanket with her fingertip. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t intend to find a husband so my reputation is irrelevant.”

  Ian got up and paced the few feet in front of her. “Don’t you want a husband? Someone you can kiss whenever you want? To take you on private picnics without having to sneak away? To hold you all night as you fall asleep? To keep you company each and every second of the day?”

  Tears filled her eyes, but they didn’t spill. “I don’t know. I suppose I’m happy enough to keep my situation like this at present.”

  He stopped, keeping his back to her. As he drew in a breath of the clean air, he closed his eyes. How could he go from almost proposing to losing her, all over again?

  “You won’t be able to keep everything the same,” he all but growled. “As Viscount Knightly, I must marry. The estate needs an heir and I refuse to let my father or my mother down.”

  “I know.” Her voice came out small, weak.

  Spinning around, he looked down at her. “Do you really? I promised your brother I would look out for you and I intend to, but this kind of outing would ha
ve to stop. My wife deserves better than to have me spending my time with another woman.”

  “But, you’re not married yet,” Claire pointed out, not looking at him.

  “And if matters stay this way between us, I never will be.”

  She hung her head, but didn’t try to dispute him. Nor did she try to fight for him. He swallowed. This whole time he’d been deluding himself into thinking he and Claire would eventually wed.

  The sad truth was, she had no intention of ever aligning herself to him.

  “What are you trying to say, Ian?”

  Gritting his teeth, he sought courage as he looked at the top of her bowed head. “If you need me, I’ll come. Otherwise, our interactions will have to be limited to our weekly visits joined by my mother.”

  “But, I do need you.” Her voice broke. “I need you to be my friend.”

  The word brought bitterness to his mouth. They couldn’t just be friends. Her kiss today proved it. Neither of them wanted that. Considering he wanted forever, he couldn’t give her the one night of pleasure she craved. The look on her face broke his heart.

  Dropping down to his knees in front of her, he cupped her face and wiped his thumb over her cheeks to dry her tears. “Claire, I am your friend, and I will give you everything I have to give. But, now it’s time we look to the future.”

  Unable to help himself, he pressed his lips to her mouth one last time. She threw herself at him, kissing him with an abandon that struck him to his core. His manhood painfully strained against his breeches as she pressed herself further up against him.

  Regret and a sense of loss made him jerk away and get back to his feet. Without uttering another word, he made his way to Phoenix. This was it. He couldn’t do this any longer. Not to her. And not to himself.

  Claire seethed as Ian’s gaze fell to Lady Ellie’s chest, once again. Part of her couldn’t blame him since the gown was cut immodestly low, but the other part of her wanted to bash him over the head. She too easily recalled how, not long ago, it had been her breasts he’d been admiring.

  “Why are you sulking over here?” Lady Knightly settled herself beside Claire. “From what Lady Abernathy has told me, the point of this gathering is to display the talents of the assembled ladies for the eligible gentlemen in the room.”

  Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Claire looked over at the poor girl at the pianoforte. She had no skills and seemed to be enjoying herself as little as Claire. Yes. The point of this evening was rather evident.

  Claire turned back to her chaperone. “Which is why I remain here.”

  “Have you no desire to impress any gentleman in the room? Surely, at least one has caught your attention.”

  Claire allowed her eyes to fall on Ian, once again. He had certainly caught her attention, but apparently she had fallen short of his.

  Not only had he avoided her all evening, but he hadn’t even spoken to her since their disastrous last ride together. Too late, she realized she never should have kissed him. Then they would still be friends right now.

  “I hate to disappoint you, my lady, but I’m no longer sure marriage is for me.”

  “Nonsense. The timing may not be ideal with your father’s passing, but the right man will wait for you to be ready.”

  Unable to help herself, she snorted. “There is no right man for me.”

  Lady Knightly laughed. “Many years ago I thought the same as you. My three older sisters had secured husbands within a month of their first season. Then I came along and ruined the precedent they had established.”

  Fascinated to learn more about her chaperone, Claire leaned forward. “You didn’t want to get married?”

  “Oh, no. I did. The problem was, I fancied myself in love with the second son of the baron. No title. No money. He had nothing. And, my father forbade it.” The woman shook her head as if surprised by the innocent youth she’d been.

  “What happened?”

  “I met Robert Caldwell. Much like his son, the man could charm anyone. I didn’t like him at first, but he kept pushing until he became, well, like a friend to me. He knew I was in love with another man, so he waited.”

  Claire let out a sigh. The late viscount had truly loved his wife. “That’s very romantic.”

  “He was. Remained faithful by my side until I realized my feelings for him far exceeded the small crush I had on the other gentleman. After that, he stayed by my side until the end.”

  “There aren’t many more like him left in this world,” Claire pointed out, sadness filling her. If only Ian felt for her a small fraction of the way his father had for his mother.

  “Perhaps not, but they do exist. Does my story in any way resemble yours? Are you in love with someone?”

  Not wanting to lie to the kind woman, Claire nodded. “Unlike with you, this gentleman has perfectly suitable connections and wealth. He simply has no love for me.”

  “Then let him go. There are plenty of other gentlemen out there. Perhaps some that can act like Robert did for me. A friend with whom you could develop stronger feelings.”

  Glancing at Ian again, Claire’s heart ached. She didn’t want another man to show up and erase her love for Ian. She wanted him. She wanted him to love her.

  “I don’t know if I can. It might be easier just to give up.”

  At that moment, Ian laughed at something Lady Ellie said and another round of jealousy poured through her, driving her to clench her fists so tightly her palms hurt. If Ian married that lady, and Claire also wed another, their paths would frequently cross at events such as these. Claire may also be forced to endure the misfortune of attending events hosted by the happy couple themselves. Her stomach turned.

  On the other hand, if she remained an unwed spinster, she wouldn’t be obligated to accept the few invitations coming to her. Before long, the missives would disappear entirely. She would then be able to live in peace.

  “Nothing worth having is ever easy, dear. If you want something bad enough, you have to fight for it.”

  “But, you didn’t fight for that man you loved.”

  A sly smile lit Lady Knightly’s face. “Exactly. I didn’t want him badly enough. Whereas with Robert, I had to go through a bit of trouble for him.”

  This time when Claire’s attention shifted to Ian, she noticed him looking directly at her. She swallowed. There was something in his face that called out to her. Something that made her breathing speed and her heart race. What did he want from her?

  When his eyes turned back to Lady Ellie, Claire realized what she needed to do. Lady Knightly was right. Fighting for Ian was the answer. Since she didn’t want to marry a man who didn’t love her, she simply needed to make sure Ian loved her.

  She bit her lip. Time was ticking away. She hoped he wouldn’t fall in love with Lady Ellie first. As her shoulders straightened, so did her resolve. Before long, Ian would be proposing to her again. A slow smile spread across her face.

  The following day, Claire hid in the woods just off Knightly Manor. Her mare whinnied and knocked against the reins, not wanting to remain immobile, but Claire simply petted her head. Soon enough she would have her opportunity to run.

  When Ian finally emerged from the manor, Claire heaved a sigh of relief. Considering this was the time he would normally meet her, she had hoped he wouldn’t give up his ride. Apparently, she’d been right. Seeing Phoenix tear down the road, she set out to follow him.

  Her heart beat wildly, afraid he would catch her too soon and send her back home. At this point, she had no plan other than to locate him far enough away that he would be forced to escort her back to Dailey. After all, he couldn’t fall in love with her if he never saw her.

  Glancing around, she realized she had lost him. Pulling her mare to a stop, she listened. Nothing. Tears stung her eyes. She’d never had
to track anyone before, and this certainly wasn’t going the way she had intended.

  She would be forced to return home and hope he intended to ride at the same time again tomorrow. Desperation clogged her throat.

  As she pulled on the reins to turn her horse around, she gasped to see Ian behind her. His eyebrow was raised in a question and his mouth was set in a thin line. Claire bit her lip. He didn’t look happy.

  “What are you doing?” he demanded.

  She cleared her throat, trying to come up with an excuse. “You told both Carolyn and I that we were allowed to venture onto your land as we wished.”

  “I did, but I don’t recall giving you permission to follow me.”

  Her mouth dropped open. How did he know? “How dare you accuse me of such a thing? Our meeting like this is mere happenstance.”

  Goosebumps sprang across her flesh at his deep chuckle. “Phoenix has been aware of your mare the second we passed you at the edge of the woods. So, I ask again, what are you doing?”

  Dropping her shoulders, she knew he had her. Betrayed by her own mount. That left her with the embarrassing truth.

  “I miss you,” she confessed.

  Surprise shot across his face. “But, we just saw each other last night.”

  “No. I saw you, but you were busy ogling Lady Ellie’s . . . assets to notice anything else.”

  His laughter spooked Phoenix, and the horse jerked to the side, but Ian deftly regained control. “I can’t be held accountable for doing something expected of me. After all, Lady Ellie had worn the gown for attention.”

  Narrowing her eyes, she resisted the urge to loosen the front of her riding habit to see how he reacted. “So, it’s perfectly acceptable to give her what she wants? Would you extend the courtesy to me if I put mine on display?”

  The mirth erased from his face as his eyes darkened. “You will do no such thing. Lady Ellie is not attracting the right kind of attention.”