The Real Me

by Herrick, Ann

My hair! I'd forgotten all about my hair. All I could manage to say was, "Th-thanks."

  "Ah, so there you."

  The voice sent chills into my bones. I turned and looked. It was Nicole. She flashed a huge smile at Kevin.

  I slipped my arm away from Kevin's. "I just remembered something. I have to run." I hurried down the hall, not daring to look back. I didn't want to tangle with Nicole. She was already steamed about the umbrella incident.

  Again I spent the day avoiding Kevin. Once, when I was unexpectedly about to pass him in the hall, I ducked into a classroom. I did a U turn as soon as I saw that he had gone by.

  After school I waited for Walt at my locker, but he didn't show up. I checked the chemistry lab. He wasn't there. When I returned to my locker, Walt was putting on his coat.

  "Oh, hi," I said. "I almost missed you."

  "Mattie …," Walt said. "I didn't expect …." He slammed his locker shut. "You didn't have to wait for me."

  "When you weren't here, I went looking for you," I said. "I couldn't find you, so I came back. We can go now. Unless you have other plans?"

  "I have no other plans," Walt said evenly. "Let's go." He took off so abruptly I had to run to catch up with him.

  I had trouble keeping up with him all the way to his house. I barely managed to stay under the umbrella with him. "Are you trying to set a new record?"

  "Was I walking too fast for you?"

  "Let me catch my breath and I'll tell you," I teased. Walt didn't smile. "Is something wrong, Walt?"

  For a moment he didn't answer. Then he said, "No. I'm just in a bad mood. Must be the weather."

  "Oh."

  "See you in the morning." Walt punched me lightly on my shoulder. "Okay?"

  "Sure." I was happy to see him in a good mood again, but wondered why he'd been in a crummy mood in the first place. "See you tomorrow."

  Chapter Eight

  I leafed through a two year old issue of People magazine in Dr. Adam's waiting room. It was my official weigh in and I hadn't lost any weight for a week, even though I'd stuck to my diet. What if my scale at home was off? What if I hadn't lost weight at all? That would be enough to make me go out and splurge on a peppermint ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce!

  "Miss Mason?"

  I looked up from the magazine.

  The receptionist smiled at me. "You may go in now."

  I put down the magazine and trudged into the examining room.

  "Hello, Mattie." Dr. Adam glanced up from a chart. "Since this is only a weigh in, just take off your shoes before you step on the scale."

  I pulled at the knots in my laces with my fingernails and kicked off my shoes. Eyes closed, I stepped onto the scale.

  "Congratulations."

  I opened my eyes.

  "You've lost sixteen pounds."

  "Sixteen?" I let out a tiny sigh of relief. "But I didn't lose any weight at all last week."

  "Don't worry. Sometimes you hit a plateau and you just don't lose any weight for a week or two. It will be harder to lose those last pounds now that you're closer to your goal. But I'm sure you'll do it." Dr. Adam shook my hand. "See you in a year."

  I practically ran home. I was so anxious to call Erwina and I wanted to do it in total privacy. I dashed to my room, dumped my books and myself on my bed, and as soon as she answered I said, "I just saw Dr. Adam and guess what she said."

  "Hmm. Let's see. She told you that you need to gain twenty pounds."

  I laughed. "I've lost sixteen pounds! Can you believe it?"

  "I'm impressed," said Erwina. "It's time you started showing off your new figure."

  "You mean I lost sixteen pounds and nobody's noticed?" All the joy drained out of me.

  "I mean it's time you got some clothes that fit."

  "But … I do have to lose a few more pounds."

  "Just a couple new things," Erwina said. "To inspire you to lose the rest."

  "Well …."

  "I'll go with you. I love to shop."

  "I have saved up some babysitting money."

  "Tell me about it," Erwina said. "You're better at managing money than anyone I know."

  "Okay, so when do you want to go shopping?"

  "As soon as possible. I'm having a party in a couple of weeks, and you should have something new for that."

  "Party? What party?"

  "The party I just decided to have to show off the new you," Erwina said. "And don't try to back out of it."

  "Well, I really should be getting ready for the prom," I said. "I haven't even cleaned the garden cart or--"

  "The prom is more than a month away," Erwina said. "That's plenty of time to work on the refreshments and decorations. But not too soon to think about getting a date."

  "Oh. Yeah. A date." I'd promised myself I'd have a date for the prom. But I hadn't exactly done much about getting one. I'd lost weight and had my hair cut. But it was time to take more aggressive action.

  "Anyone in particular you'd like me to invite to the party?"

  "Well …." I drummed my fingernails on my math book.

  "Ah, Morse code," Erwina said. "I'm a bit rusty, but I think you tapped out 'Kevin.'"

  "Well …."

  "Relax, Mattie," Erwina said. "I'll take full responsibility for inviting him--of course, I'll totally have to invite Nicole, too, you realize. Naturally I'll ask Ross and Walt. George would probably come--he's been all eyeballs about Selena, so I'll invite her. Oh, and Phil and Carl and Laura, Rosie and Lisa. I think that's all our family room will hold--unless you have some more suggestions."

  "Um--"

  "Okay. I'll get going on everything right away."

  "Glad I could be of some help," I said.

  Erwina called later to insist on a shopping trip to New Haven, where there was a dress store she really liked tucked away on a side street. She wanted to look at prom dresses. Ross had just asked her to the prom.

  So at 7:30 Saturday we stood shivering in front of the bank, waiting for the only morning bus, as neither of us could get the use of a car. When the bus arrived ten minutes later, we had our choice of seats.

  The bus bumped along Route One, stopping at least once in every town along the way. No one else got on until Guilford. Though it took an hour and a half instead of the half hour it would have taken on the turnpike, we still had almost an hour before stores opened.

  "Let's go for a walk," Erwina suggested.

  "Let me guess where," I said. "Through the Yale campus? No one will be up yet."

  "I'm not man hunting." Erwina sniffed. "I just want to admire the architecture. I might go here some day, you know." Erwina tilted her head up and strode purposefully along the sidewalk. Before I could warn her, she smacked into a No Parking sign. "Ouch!"

  I tried not to laugh as I put my arm around Erwina. "Are you all right?"

  Erwina felt her nose. "Am I bleeding? Did anyone see me?"

  "No on both counts," I said. "Let's go to the Kopper Kitchen for some tea. It's too cold to walk around much anyway. The wind is blowing right through me." I pulled my gray wool sweater tight and guided the wounded Erwina to the Kopper Kitchen.

  "Is my nose swollen?" Erwina looked down at it, cross eyed.

  "It's kind of red, but otherwise it looks okay. Don't worry." In order to take Erwina's mind off her nose I asked, "Are you really planning on going to Yale?"

  "Maybe," Erwina said. "What about you?"

  The waitress brought the tea. I put my teabag in the cup and poured the hot water over it. "I don't know where I want to go to college. I don't even know what I want to do. I've thought about nursing or journalism. I've considered doing something with textiles. Maybe I'd want to open a small business." I rolled my eyes. "I'm totally clueless about the future."

  "You have lots of time to decide."

  "It must be nice to know what you really want." I blew on my tea. "And how to get it."

  "You're not talking about law school, are you?"

  I shrugged, glancing at the te
akettle shaped clock on the wall next to me. "Let's finish our tea. The stores will be open in ten minutes."

  We finished our tea and went to a clothing store down the street. For a moment the array of clothes sucked my breath right out of my throat. So many choices. The racks were crammed with the colors of spring, splashed with an occasional dash of hot pink or lime green.

  "Let's look at prom dresses first," Erwina said.

  "Good idea." I needed time to get accustomed to such a wide range of clothes. The selection in Waterside was severely limited, and I didn't get to the city nearly often enough.

  Erwina searched through the size-five rack, while I browsed through sizes ten and twelve. I had worn a fourteen for ages, but now I didn't know what to try.

  Erwina pulled out a pale green dress with a dark green ribbon at the waist. She held it up to herself. "How's this?"

  "Cute."

  "How about this?" Erwina held up a delicate pink off the shoulder gown.

  "Really pretty!"

  "What a sweet little dress." Nicole Sandhurst emerged from the dressing room wearing a low cut slinky red dress with a slit to her thigh on one side. "It would look adorable on you, Erwina. Are you going to get it?"

  "Just browsing," Erwina said.

  "Oh, Mattie," Nicole said as if she'd just discovered me standing there. "Are you getting a dress today?"

  "Just looking." Waves of acid splashed in my stomach.

  "I've tried on several dresses already," said Nicole. "But I think this one is stunning." She raised one eyebrow. "Don't you?"

  "Stunning is the word for it," Erwina said.

  I nodded in agreement. Nicole had a gorgeous figure and the red dress showed off every inch of it.

  "Kevin will love this dress. I hate to take it off. But I guess I'd better pay for it," Nicole said. "Oh, thanks for the invitation, Erwina. Kevin and I can make it." She swirled into the dressing room.

  "So. Kevin has asked Nicole to the prom." I spit out the words.

  "Why do you say that?"

  "She's buying that dress!"

  "So? That doesn't mean Kevin asked her to the prom. She probably stockpiles dresses, just in case. It could be for anything."

  "But she said Kevin would love it."

  "Any guy would," Erwina said. "That doesn't mean he's ever going to see her in it. Come on. Let's look at blouses."

  "Yeah. Let's," I said. "I know just what I want."

  While Erwina oohed and aahed over nearly every blouse she saw, I carefully scrutinized the racks for exactly what I wanted. Finally I pulled out a silky hot pink blouse with a V-neck. I marched around the corner and found a pair of black jeans.

  "There you are," Erwina said, her arms full of blouses. "Are you ready to try things on?"

  "Just a minute," I said. "First I have to find a good bra. Nicole Sandhurst doesn't have the patent on cleavage!"

  "Uh, all right." Erwina shifted her pile of blouses. "I'll meet you in the dressing room."

  I picked out three bras and tried them on. One didn't fit. Another provided only a little uplift. The third gave me cleavage like a mountain range.

  I tried on the hot-pink blouse. I tucked it into the black jeans, which fit just right, and admired how slim I looked in them. I left the top button of the blouse undone. There wasn't much to see. I undid the second button. Better, but not quite. I unbuttoned the third button. That did it! I looked more voluptuous than the time I was four and played dress-up by stuffing two grapefruits down the front of my dress. I stepped out of my cubicle and called softly, "Erwina."

  She poked her head out from behind a curtain. "What?"

  "So … what do you think?"

  "Wow! Those jeans look great on you. And that blouse is a great color for you. Uh, but you forgot to button a button."

  "No, I didn't. You said to show off my new figure. So that's what I'm doing."

  "I said to show it off. Not show it all."

  "It's not any more revealing than that dress Nicole had on."

  "Nicole can carry it off," Erwina warned.

  "And I can't?"

  "I mean you're not the type who'd be comfortable doing it. That's all."

  "Oh, yes, I am," I said. "I'm the type. You'll see." I turned away and went back into my cubicle. I fingered the collar of the blouse, then buttoned the third button. I didn't have to decide just then how I'd wear it the night of the party. I changed clothes, careful not to scratch myself with any of the price tags.

  Erwina and I arrived at the cashier's counter at the same time and paid for our purchases in silence.

  I didn't want to spoil the rest of the day. "Let's look at prom dresses again and then have lunch."

  Erwina smiled. "Good idea."

  Erwina tried on several dresses, running in and out of the dressing room to model for me.

  I looked half heartedly at a few gowns.

  "Aren't you going to try any on?" Erwina spun around in front of a three way mirror, seeing how a blue strapless with a wide ruffle along the hem looked on her from all directions.

  "No," I said. "Um, I'm kind of tired … and hungry." I couldn't tell Erwina that I was afraid that trying on dresses now would somehow jinx any possibility that I would need one for the prom. I wouldn't need anything special if all I was going to do was supervise the serving of punch and cookies.

  "Let's eat, then," Erwina said. "I haven't found anything I can't live without yet anyway."

  After lunch Erwina and I window shopped until it was time to catch the bus home. I stared out the window most of the way back to Waterside, clutching my shopping bag. Would I really have the nerve to reveal so much of the new me? Could I carry out my plan without being seriously embarrassed?

  In a week I would find out.

  Chapter Nine

  In order to take my mind off Erwina's party and the decision I'd have to make, I plunged into preparations for the prom. I baked, decorated, and froze dozens of cookies. I made up a sample batch of the foamy punch and insisted that Walt and Erwina taste it. Only after they declared that it was delicious was I convinced that I'd use the recipe on prom night.

  After extracting permission from Dad to use the garden cart if I first helped with spring cleanup in the yard, I began converting it into a chariot. Once it was cleaned and scrubbed, decorating it seemed almost easy. Working in the garage, with occasional help from George, Carl and Phil, Walt and I covered the body of the cart with sea green crepe paper, wrapped the handles and wheels with alternating strips of blue, green, and turquoise streamers, and draped strips of the same color combination across the front.

  Walt made two giant plywood seahorses. The only problem was how to harness them to the cart so they wouldn't fall over, but would still look as though they were pulling a chariot.

  Finally it was decided that the seahorses could be nailed to two crossed boards placed in front of the cart, connected by reins made of streamers. The boards would be covered with sheets of blue crepe paper to hide them and create the illusion of water.

  Walt painted the seahorses and he and I cut strips of streamers, folded them into loops and glued them on to each side of the seahorses for scales. We finished just before noon on the morning of Erwina's party.

  Walt stepped back to admire our work. "It looks pretty good, if I do say so myself."

  "Yes," I agreed. "I--"

  Just then Dad, in an old T shirt and cut off shorts, hopped down the back steps, leapt into the chariot, and shouted, "Tally ho!"

  "Oh, Daddy." I sighed. "'Tally ho is for fox-hunting."

  He cracked an imaginary whip. "Charge?"

  "Cavalry," said Walt.

  "I know," said Dad. "Glub, glub!"

  Walt laughed politely.

  I moaned.

  "What's this for, anyway?" Dad stepped out of the chariot and patted one of the seahorses.

  "You know very well, Daddy." I grinned and shook my finger at him. "It's where we're going to take pictures of the king and queen of the prom."

&
nbsp; "Yikes!" Walt exclaimed. "We need to come up with something for their crowns."

  "Uh, oh," said Dad. "I don't know anything about crown making." He tiptoed to the back of the garage and got a pair of shears. "I'll just do something easy--like trimming the hedge." He trotted away.

  "We need something special." Walt rubbed his chin. "Not just plain cardboard."

  "But what?" I asked. "What can we use that's nautical? Sand? Seaweed? Doh! I know! Shells! We can glue them onto the crowns."

  Walt slapped his forehead. "Of course!"

  "I've got lots of shells," I said. "I'll go through them tomorrow and see if I have enough. If not, I'll get more at the beach."

  "Good thinking. I knew working with you was a great idea." Walt took my hands in his and pulled me toward him.

  The heel of my sandal caught in a crack in the garage floor, sending me right into Walt's arms.

  Flustered, Walt steadied me, then dropped his hands to his sides. "Well," he said, red-faced. "I, um, I guess it's time for me to go." He turned to leave, then spun around and said, "Hey, you're going to Erwina's party, aren't you? I can give you a ride."

  I checked the heel of my sandal to make sure it wasn't broken. "Ride?" The heel was a bit loose, so I stomped it on the floor. It went back into place. "No, thanks. I'm going over early to help set things up."

  "Oh," Walt said. "Well, if you need a ride home, I'll have the car."

  "Hmm?" I shook my foot, checking the heel again. It held. "Ride home? Okay. If I need one."

  "See you there," Walt said. "Save me a dance?"

  "Sure." As if I was so popular I'd have to save someone a dance. Then I blushed, remembering my new self, my new blouse, and my plans for the evening. Maybe I would have to save a dance for Walt.

  At two in the afternoon I started getting ready for Erwina's party. I took a long, hot shower, washed my hair, and conditioned it. I fluffed it with my fingers, wrapped myself in my pink terrycloth robe, and went to my room to let my hair dry naturally. I looked through all my nail polishes twice before choosing a shade I thought best matched my new blouse. I experimented with my lipsticks, and finally layered three of them to get a color that flattered my complexion and still coordinated with my blouse.