Indecision

by Caragh Bell

  ‘Will you back off?’ Luca drained his beer. ‘There’s nothing going on.’

  ‘Nothing?’ echoed Craig. ‘Then why do you stare at her all the time?’

  ‘Look, there’s nothing going on, okay? Jeez, you sound like Mom.’ There was a slight edge to his voice.

  ‘It’s just a bit obvious.’

  ‘You need to man up, cuz. Hanging out with a woman is sure doing you no favours.’

  Craig reddened. ‘I’m just looking out for you, that’s all.’

  Luca laughed. ‘Look, Craig, I get your concern but there’s nothing, nada, zilch going on. You got that, buddy?’ He slapped him on the back. ‘Now get me another beer!’

  Chapter 27

  It was lunchtime on the mountain and Colin and Luca had stopped for a bite.

  Colin picked at his goulash. ‘So, the snow is good today, isn’t it?’

  Luca forked up his chips. ‘Yeah. It’s always good after snowfall like yesterday. Man, these fries are good!’

  Colin sipped his Coke. ‘I wonder how Lydia is getting on?’

  Luca shrugged. ‘I’m sure she’s fine. She should be back on the slopes tomorrow though, right?’

  ‘I suppose. She gave me such a fright.’

  ‘Me, too. I dig that girl.’

  Colin raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

  ‘So, what will we do for New Year tomorrow?’ asked Colin, abandoning his lunch and pushing it to the side. ‘I was thinking pizza at that place in the village and then the nightclub.’

  ‘Sounds good. We should make the most of our last night.’ He beckoned at the waitress. ‘Hey, can I have more fries, please?’

  She nodded and tapped the order into her electronic pad.

  ‘Val is loving it, huh?’ said Luca.

  Colin smiled. ‘He really is. He’s come on a lot since Sunday. His instructor said that he can try a blue slope today.’

  ‘Jess said she’ll give it a miss. She prefers the nursery slope.’

  ‘Some people just take to it naturally; others not so much. Take my parents, for example. Dad is amazing, almost Olympic standard. Mum? She prefers to sip wine and indulge in the après ski.’

  Luca laughed. ‘That sounds like my parents. When did you learn?’

  ‘When I was three.’ Colin smiled at the memory. ‘We had a private instructor. I was too young for ski school so he taught me the pizza move and let me mess around. It just went from there. You?’

  ‘We started going to Vermont but switched to Aspen when I was seven. Humidity was better. Papa bought a chalet in Vail ten years ago. I normally go there at this time of year. It’s nice to be in Europe for a change.’

  His chips arrived, covered in salt. He squirted ketchup all over them. Colin wrinkled his nose.

  ‘Don’t you worry about cholesterol and blood pressure?’

  Luca shook his head. ‘Nah. Something will kill you in the end. I want to die happy.’

  What a nice day, reflected Lydia.

  She had slept until twelve. Then she had strolled around the village, meandering into different craft shops and cafés.

  She laid her purchases out on the bed. Magnets, Milka bars, tiny bottles of Jägermeister and rum truffles. She smiled. She was pretty sure that she had everyone covered.

  Her phone buzzed. Glancing at the time she could see that it was half three.

  Meet us for drinks at Max’s?

  It was Colin. The pistes closed at four and that was when the bars really took off.

  Drinks sounded good. She felt much better.

  She circled her eyes with kohl and put on her tight black top. Coupled with her favourite jeans and Uggs, she looked very casual but chic, she hoped. Grabbing her jacket and her phone she headed out into the snow.

  Max’s Bar was packed with people. ‘Sex on the Beach’ was blaring from the massive speakers outside. She asked for a hot chocolate with rum and then sat at a communal table by the foot of the piste. The long bench was filled with people of numerous nationalities. Sipping her drink, she watched the skiers race down the final incline.

  She focused on a black dot careering down at a frightening speed. Instinctively she knew it was Luca. He skied with a confidence that was bordering on arrogance. She couldn’t help but admire his skill. Lost in the crowd, she stared at him openly. He filled her thoughts constantly. She was ashamed of this, but it was involuntary.

  She didn’t know if it was the white-knight gesture of the day before or the way he made no secret of the fact that he wanted her, but she was hooked. Last night, the safest option was to go to bed. Tonight would be the same. It was impossible to think straight with everyone living in each other’s pockets. Once they got home, she need not see him anymore. Simple.

  He spotted her and waved.

  ‘Do you want a drink?’ she called.

  He nodded and gestured a beer. By the time he was back from dropping off his skis, she had resumed her seat.

  ‘Where’s Colin?’ she asked.

  ‘He skied down about half an hour ago to meet Val. He won’t be long.’

  ‘Did you have a good day?’ She sipped her drink nervously.

  ‘Yeah. Colin is awesome. We really went for it.’

  ‘No sign of Sam and Craig. I wonder if they skied the black today.’

  He shrugged and changed the subject. ‘So, how are you feeling? Do you want me to save your life again?’

  She smiled. ‘Stop it. You know I’m grateful.’

  ‘You disappeared so quickly last night. I was sure I’d get some kind of thank-you.’

  She met his gaze. ‘I just bought you a beer, didn’t I?’

  ‘I guess.’

  She couldn’t tear her eyes away.

  ‘Will that be enough?’ she whispered, her pulse quickening.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ he said, moving closer.

  Lydia could feel herself gravitate towards him. The most natural thing in the world was to kiss him. She wanted to, she needed to. It was all she could think about.

  Gradually, she leaned towards him, her eyes half-closed.

  Suddenly they heard ‘Hiya!’ in a sing-song voice.

  Fuck, cursed Luca silently.

  Thank God, thought Lydia, confused. What the hell was she doing? She pulled back, away from him.

  Jessica stood above them, smiling brightly. ‘You two look like you’re having fun.’

  Lydia felt herself blush.

  Luca stood up, unfazed. ‘Will I get you a wine?’ he asked.

  She nodded and took his seat.

  Lydia felt uncomfortable. She could smell Jessica’s perfume; it was heady and strong. It made her feel sick. How must that have looked to her?

  ‘How was your day, Jess?’ she asked as normally as she could.

  ‘Oh, you know, fine. I like that green slope. It suits me fine.’

  There was a pause.

  Jessica scanned the crowd. She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there.

  Luca arrived back and squeezed in next to her. ‘You okay, baby?’

  ‘I’m fine, just fine. You?’ She flicked her beautiful hair.

  ‘I’m cool. A little tired.’

  Silence ensued.

  Where the hell is Colin? thought Lydia, wanting to crawl into a hole and die. He should be here by now.

  Jessica gulped her drink. ‘So, Val went up the mountain today. I didn’t bother because I’m so bad.’

  ‘You’re not bad.’ Luca kissed her cheek. ‘I can give you lessons if you want.’

  Lydia could not compute how things had changed in a matter of seconds. This was an absolute disaster. Luca could transform like a chameleon and that was not what she wanted to deal with.

  She got to her feet. ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ she said stiffly. ‘I have a headache. See you at dinner.’

  Luca said nothing. He just stared at her. Jessica smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  Lydia bolted. She felt like she was suffocating. Jessica was no fool. She could
tell that the other girl knew something was going on. The thought of it made her cringe. Pulling her jacket tightly around her, she trudged back to the hotel.

  New Year’s Eve dawned a cold sunny day.

  Samantha knocked on Lydia’s door. ‘Wake up, sleepyhead!’

  Lydia opened the door, fully dressed. ‘I’m up and ready.’

  ‘I’m not surprised as you went to bed at dinner time.’

  ‘I had a headache. I just wanted to crash.’

  Samantha put her head to one side. ‘Are you going to ski today?’

  ‘Definitely. It’s the last day. I can’t wait to get back on the slopes.’

  They vacated the room companionably.

  ‘Did I miss anything last night?’

  Samantha shook her head. ‘Not really. Jessica cried off. The boys headed to Bunny’s and got wasted. I went to bed early.’

  ‘What are you wearing tonight?’

  ‘I didn’t really bring anything posh. I have a little mini dress I could wear. You?’

  ‘The same. I’m looking forward to it. I feel like going crazy.’

  They entered the dining room.

  Breakfast was the usual mayhem. Parents with screaming children, a queue for the hot eggs and bacon and the constant drone of the coffee machine. Lydia chose a croissant and a tea. Sitting down, she waited for Samantha.

  ‘Where’s Craig?’

  ‘Coming down soon. He overdid it last night. I think all the boozing is finally getting to him.’

  Lydia spread some raspberry jam on her croissant. ‘I can’t believe I missed a whole day of skiing yesterday. What a waste.’

  ‘You were right to take a break. You could have blacked out or anything.’

  ‘I got some nice stuff for Mum. The shops are lovely.’ She paused to wipe some crumbs from her chin.

  ‘I’ll try and go after ski school today. Can you pass the jam?’

  Lydia passed the pot of jam. ‘Was Colin drunk last night too? And Val?’

  Samantha shook her head. ‘Don’t know. They were very well behaved up to the time I left them but maybe got wasted later with the other two. Luca and Jess had a huge fight before that and she stormed off to bed.’

  ‘Oh?’ She went very still.

  ‘I don’t know what it was about, but she lost the plot. It was tense.’

  Lydia stopped eating. She suddenly didn’t feel like another bite.

  Samantha continued. ‘Anyway, she ran away, he let her go and then Craig and himself went crazy on shots of Jäger before heading for Bunny’s.’

  Lydia sipped her tea. ‘I suppose couples do that kind of thing.’

  ‘I suppose.’

  There was a pause.

  ‘More tea?’ Samantha gestured to the machine.

  ‘Thanks.’

  Colin wolf-whistled when Lydia and Samantha walked into the bar that evening.

  ‘Looking good, girls!’

  ‘Oh, stop it,’ said Samantha, perching herself on a bar stool. ‘What are we drinking?’

  Colin held up his glass. ‘Mojitos.’

  ‘Very seasonal.’

  Luca and Jessica arrived into the bar. He had a face like thunder and she looked like she was about to cry.

  Val gestured for them to sit next to him. ‘How’s my favourite girl?’ he asked, putting his arm around Jessica’s shoulder.

  ‘I’m grand altogether.’ She tried to smile. ‘Did you like the blue slope today?’

  Val’s face lit up. ‘Oh Jess, you should have come up. It was great.’

  She shook her head. ‘I’d fall all over the place.’

  ‘Not at all.’ Val squeezed her arm. ‘Let me buy you a drink.’

  ‘They have really bonded,’ whispered Samantha to Lydia in an undertone.

  Lydia said nothing. She suspected that Val felt sorry for Jessica.

  ‘Let’s get out of here soon. I’m sick of this bar.’ Luca knocked back a Jäger.

  Colin sipped his mojito elegantly. ‘Relax. You’ll be hammered before dessert.’

  ‘That’s the plan.’ Luca looked grim.

  Craig nudged Samantha. ‘What the hell happened there?’

  ‘Not a clue. I hope they sort it out though. It’s a bit awkward.’

  Jessica went to her room after dinner. Luca escorted her back and returned in record time.

  ‘Let the party begin,’ he announced, nodding at the barman.

  Craig sat down beside him. ‘What’s going on, Luca? She seems pretty upset.’

  ‘Fuck knows. She’s giving me grief all day about this and that. Man, I hate when they get clingy.’

  ‘Have you two split?’

  ‘Not yet, but I plan to fix that as soon as we get back home.’ He threw back a shot followed by a huge swig of beer. ‘Are you up for a crazy night, cuz?’

  Craig shrugged. ‘I am if you are. I just hope you’re okay.’

  ‘Will you cut the sensitive crap? Get a shot and let’s get going.’

  They ended up in Bunny’s bar again. The clock struck twelve and the crowd cheered.

  ‘Group hug!’ yelled Colin, pulling everyone into a circle. The DJ changed the disc and ‘Celebration’ by Kool and the Gang resonated around the crowded bar.

  ‘What a tune!’ exclaimed Colin, singing along.

  Luca’s eyes met Lydia’s and all the noise faded away. His blue eyes were unfaltering as he stared at her openly. She dropped her eyes first, unsure of what to do.

  ‘Come on, Lyd. Let’s get one more for the road,’ said Samantha, pulling her away towards the bar.

  Looking back, Lydia saw Luca standing motionless under the disco lights. Their eyes locked once more until she turned away.

  ‘Let’s get more Jägers,’ said Samantha, pulling some euros out of her bag. ‘It’s actually drinkable enough. I never really liked it before.’

  She ordered a round and swayed to the music. ‘Check out Colin busting his moves. My God, he should be on Strictly.’

  Lydia smiled. ‘He’s something else all right.’

  The barman deposited a tray of shots on the bar. Samantha paid him and they rejoined the group.

  ‘Another Jäger?’ Colin’s eyes gleamed. ‘Nice one, Sam.’ He took the small glass and knocked back the dark liquid. ‘Now, who wants to dance? Val?’

  ‘Nope. I’m quite happy where I am.’ Val drank his shot.

  Craig held up his hands. ‘Don’t even ask.’

  Samantha linked arms with him. ‘I’ll dance with you, Col. You lead.’

  Two hours later the bar was almost empty. The DJ had packed up and the barman had put the chairs and stools on the tables.

  ‘Let’s try and get another round,’ suggested Lydia. ‘I’ll ask your man before he starts sweeping the floor.’

  ‘Not for me,’ said Colin, bleary-eyed. ‘I’ve totally overdone it.’

  Val grabbed his jacket. ‘Well, I certainly can’t,’ he said firmly. ‘I’m off. Sorry, everyone, but I’m wasted.’

  Colin looked at his watch. ‘I suppose it is pretty late.’

  ‘Come on, you guys! The night is young.’ Luca got unsteadily to his feet.

  Lydia giggled. ‘I feel so drunk. This is the best fun ever.’

  Luca winked at her.

  ‘Let’s call it a night,’ said Craig, pulling Samantha to her feet. ‘My bed is calling.’

  Colin and Val nodded in agreement.

  ‘What? No way!’ Lydia looked horrified.

  ‘The night is only beginning!’ protested Luca.

  ‘Come on, you two. Bedtime.’ Colin looked stern.

  Lydia felt like a small child who was being forced to go to bed while her parents had a party downstairs.

  Lightweights, she thought. Why can’t I keep going?

  She looked meaningfully at Luca. He understood her silent message immediately.

  They trudged through the snow back to the hotel. The night porter smiled as they stumbled in.

  Samantha and Craig disappeared upstairs immediately, as di
d Val.

  Colin began his ascent up the stairs, calling Lydia as he went.

  ‘Coming, Col, just need to use the loo.’

  ‘Why down here? You can pee in your room, Lyd.’ Colin yawned.

  ‘Can’t hold it! Will follow you up in a sec.’

  Colin was too drunk to wait around. He trudged on.

  As soon as he disappeared from sight, Lydia bolted out the door again, to the surprise of the porter.

  Luca was waiting outside.

  ‘All set?’ He held out his hand.

  She smiled. ‘Let’s go have some fun.’

  The beat of the music pulsated around the tiny, dark room. The nightclub was half full and the bass was creating vibrations on the floor. Lydia ran out onto the dance floor immediately and began to dance.

  This is so amazing, she thought, letting the music guide her. It was some tune from years ago but hearing it loud, lost in a crowd, it was intoxicating. Closing her eyes, she felt almost primal. It was amazing what a good bassline and alcohol could do to you. She threw her head back and gave herself up completely to the music.

  Suddenly she felt strong arms encircle her waist. Keeping her eyes fastened shut, she moulded herself to his body, pressing against him, moving as one. Turning, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. It felt so good. No one knew who they were. They could behave exactly as they wanted, free from the constraints of watchful eyes and judgement.

  His hands moved up her body, touching her breasts, her back, encircling her waist and then back up to her neck. It was only a matter of time before his mouth sought hers hungrily. She didn’t resist – in fact, she matched his fervour with a passion she didn’t know she possessed. Grabbing his hair, she arched her back and pressed even harder against him. Nothing existed except the two of them. She didn’t think about anything except how much she wanted him. It was like months of pent-up emotion were pouring out, as if a dam had burst. Anonymous in a faceless crowd, they surrendered to each other.

  I have to be inside her now, thought Luca, kissing her for all he was worth.

  Keeping his mouth on hers, he didn’t dare stop in case she came to her senses and ran away. The DJ shouted something in German and the music started to fade. Luca grabbed her hand and pulled her outside before the harsh lights came on. He didn’t want to break the spell.