Indecision

by Caragh Bell

  ‘Hey, Craig, how’s life down west?’

  ‘Good. Sam’s parents are actually quite cool.’

  ‘Rather you than me.’

  ‘Ah Luca, stop being so cynical. You just haven’t met the right girl.’

  ‘I guess.’

  ‘Did my mum drop off my washing?’

  ‘I’m not sure. I’ll ask Fiacra later.’

  ‘Find out, will you? I need my shirts for next week.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Did you hear the news? Sam mentioned it earlier. Dom is heading to the States for a month to train with some hot-shot surgeon over there.’

  Luca sat up straight. ‘What?’

  ‘He’s off to New York next week. I’m telling you, he’ll be successful.’

  ‘And Lydia, is she going?’

  ‘No. Just him. Sam’s a bit worried about her actually. Have you seen her lately?’

  ‘No,’ he lied.

  ‘She’s really down and out. No one knows why.’

  ‘Maybe she’s sad because he’s going away.’

  ‘Maybe. Look, I have to go. See you Sunday.’

  ‘Bye.’

  Luca stared at the phone. Fate was intervening. It had to be. This was happening for a reason. While the cat’s away and all that. If he could only get her alone. If he could only kiss her again.

  Maybe Colin would organise a party or something. He had to get her on her own.

  He grabbed a can of beer from the fridge and flopped down on the couch. He had a whole month to get it together. A whole month before Doctor Perfect got back. This was his chance.

  Chapter 31

  ‘Elixir on Friday?’ Colin gave her a hopeful look.

  Lydia and Colin were snuggled up on his couch watching Breaking Bad.

  She made a face. ‘Clubbing? No way.’

  ‘Come on, it’ll be fun. Dress up and have a dance. You need cheering up.’

  Lydia shook her head. Was he insane? She was never drinking again after Austria.

  ‘Come on, Lyd!’ he pleaded. ‘Pretty please?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She felt her resolve weaken. ‘I’m pretty tired.’

  ‘For me? Val is busy. I have no one to go with.’ He cocked his head to one side and gave her his puppy look.

  ‘Oh, all right.’

  He clapped his hands together in delight. ‘Cool. Pick you up at seven. We can go for cocktails first. My treat. This is just what you need.’

  ‘I’m not going too crazy, Col. The last time I drank too much, look what happened.’

  ‘True. I’ll look after you this time though.’ He squeezed her arm. ‘Let’s go out and dance. Forget all our troubles and just live in the moment.’

  Lydia couldn’t help laughing. ‘You are so persuasive. I’m on board. Now make me a cup of coffee before the next episode.’

  Samantha rang the next morning.

  ‘Lyd, are you coming home this weekend?’

  ‘No. Colin has convinced me to go clubbing with him tomorrow night.’

  ‘That’s a shame. I called over to your mum yesterday and she misses you. She was hoping that you’d make it down.’

  Lydia immediately felt guilty. But she couldn’t face her family at the moment. Her mother would guess if she saw her. She always said: ‘Lydia, I’d know you boiled in oil.’ Faced with her mother’s understanding, kind face, she would probably crack and confess.

  ‘Tell her that I’ll definitely make it down next week.’

  ‘Tell her yourself, Lyd. Give her a ring.’ Samantha sounded exasperated. ‘I’m not your secretary.’ Her tone softened. ‘Is everything okay? I mean, you sound like a zombie.’

  Lydia scowled. What did people want her to do? Sing and shout at the top of her voice? Even Samantha picked up on her depression, despite being miles away. It was obvious that she needed to sort it out. She decided to change the subject.

  ‘Are you having a good week, Sam?’

  ‘Yeah, it’s been great having Craig here. He and Dad have really hit it off. He’s like the son he never had. There’s talk of them going fishing together when the weather improves.’

  ‘That’s just like Dad and Dom …’ Lydia’s voice trailed off. She couldn’t even think about it.

  ‘I can’t believe that I have school next Monday. The thought makes me want to cry.’

  ‘It’s only a few weeks to –’

  ‘Midterm. I know. That’s all I hear from Craig, too.’

  There was a knock at the door. ‘Look, I have to go. That’s Colin calling over with a DVD. I’ll buzz you on Saturday if my hangover allows it.’

  Samantha laughed. ‘Go easy on the cocktails, hon. I’ll talk to you then.’

  The line went dead.

  The next day found Lydia surveying her wardrobe.

  Nothing looks appealing, she thought, riffling through her dresses.

  Stumped, she flopped onto her bed. She didn’t even want to go out anyway.

  Bloody Colin. She couldn’t let him down now.

  Glancing at the clock she could see it was nearly half past six. She needed to get sorted.

  Suddenly she had inspiration. Samantha’s room! She had tons of cute dresses and skirts. She definitely wouldn’t mind.

  Minutes later she was faced with the most immaculate wardrobe she had ever seen. All the clothes were stacked in neat piles, divided into tops, skirts, pants and jumpers. All of her dresses hung in colour-coded sections.

  Lydia giggled. Sam and Colin would have been the perfect couple, had life turned out differently.

  She sifted through the dresses until she found a short, sparkly purple dress with an indecently low back. Pulling it out, her eyes gleamed. It was perfect. And purple.

  Hurriedly she pulled off her clothes and pulled the dress over her head. It fit like a glove, clinging to her curves and exposing her back down as far as the base of her spine. Shaking her hair loose from its ponytail, she was pleased with the result.

  Knowing that Colin would be bang on time, she rushed back to her room and started to apply eye make-up.

  Colin’s eyes nearly fell out of his head when he saw her. ‘Looking foxy, Lyd. Where did you get that dress?’

  ‘It’s Sam’s. I’m sure she won’t mind.’

  ‘I won’t tag you on Facebook tonight then.’

  ‘Better not.’ She grabbed her black jacket and her purse. ‘Let’s go.’

  There was a taxi waiting outside. As Lydia was wearing four-inch heels, she was delighted. The taxi sped into the city centre and stopped outside the Bodega bar. Colin handed over ten euros and told the cabbie to keep the change.

  Minutes later they were seated on two high stools near a big bay window. Lydia sipped her Flirtini and couldn’t believe how upbeat she felt. It felt good to be dressed up and out on the town. She had been moping for too long.

  A middle-aged man in a suit smiled at her from across the bar. She smiled back. This dress was definitely eye-catching.

  ‘This is so delicious, Col,’ she said, taking another sip of her cocktail. ‘How’s yours?’

  ‘I love my Cosmo.’

  The music was funky and the bass was low. All the other occupants of the bar were well-dressed, sipping their drinks. There was an air of sophistication and all-round cool. The barman threw his cocktail shaker into the air like Tom Cruise and expertly caught it again.

  ‘So, Elixir later?’ asked Colin. ‘I’d love to go dancing.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I love this bar.’

  Lydia nodded in agreement. ‘Me, too. Thanks for organising this. I know I wasn’t too positive about it at the beginning.’

  ‘No troubles, bubbles. What are cousins for?’

  By the time they made it to Elixir, a lot more alcohol had been consumed. Lydia teetered on her high heels and held onto Colin for dear life.

  ‘This is the most fun I’ve had in ages. Oh Col, I can’t wait to go dancing.’

  ‘Let’s go straight onto the dance floor after we h
ave handed in our jackets.’

  The club was packed with people. You could barely see the dance floor with all the bodies. Grasping Colin’s hand, Lydia pulled him out into the crowd and they began to move. The music was deafening but the deep thrum of the bassline was addictive and they moved in unison.

  Lydia had flashes of the club in St Johann, but she hastily banished them from her mind. That was a night she had to forget.

  Suddenly she felt a cold hand on her back. Confused, she turned around to find a dark-haired man smiling at her. She smiled back.

  ‘Can I dance with you?’

  She shook her head and shrugged apologetically, pointing to Colin.

  He grabbed her waist. ‘Please. You look so pretty.’

  Expertly, she manoeuvred out of his grasp and sidled up closer to Colin.

  ‘No, thanks.’

  They moved away to another part of the dance floor.

  ‘Who are you seducing now, you minx?’ Colin threw his eyes to heaven.

  ‘Nobody. Now, look like you’re my boyfriend, for God’s sake.’

  ‘Yuk! No offence but you’re so not my type.’

  ‘Pretend, you moron.’

  She was aware of that guy moving closer again.

  ‘Don’t leave me alone.’

  Colin nodded and pulled her close.

  ‘Let’s cha-cha-cha!’

  Chapter 32

  Luca held his glass so tightly in his hand, it nearly shattered.

  There she was, looking so goddamn sexy and then this guy starts hitting on her. He wanted to kill him. Luckily, Colin was there.

  He knocked back his shot and ordered another.

  She didn’t know he was around, that much was clear. He would stay back in the shadows and watch her. That way he could protect her if some creep tried it on again.

  He watched her move, her long hair flying, her smooth back gleaming in the lights. That dress was almost indecent. Why was she wearing it? He didn’t want other guys looking at her and wanting her.

  Man, this was tough. Every natural instinct told him to run up, hoist her over his shoulder and make off with her.

  Keeping his eyes on her, he leaned against the wall. He couldn’t put his finger on it but she brought out something in him – something unfamiliar. He had never felt like this about a girl before and it made no sense.

  He was Luca Jacob: a love ’em and leave ’em kinda guy. He didn’t get involved and he certainly did not get hurt.

  Then why was she under his skin? Was it the challenge? Maybe at the beginning, but since that night they had been together in Austria, things had changed. He wanted more. He wanted to be part of her life, part of her family. He wanted to hear her speak, hold her in his arms, carry her bags. He wanted to wake up next to her in the morning. She would fit in so easily in New York. He could see her firmly in his future and he often imagined how things would be.

  All his life, the minute he wanted anything, he got it. Whether it was the new Buzz Lightyear toy when he was five or the red Mustang when he passed his Driver’s Ed.

  Luca threw back his drink. For the first time in his life he was powerless.

  She was calling the shots.

  ‘I need water, Col. Now.’

  Lydia felt breathless. Her feet were numb from all the dancing.

  ‘The bar is closed.’ Colin stumbled over to the door. ‘Let’s go back to mine.’

  The cold air was sobering as they walked outside.

  ‘I can’t believe someone took my jacket.’ Lydia shivered. ‘I mean, how low.’

  ‘Totally. I’m shocked.’

  They crossed the street.

  ‘Taxi! Come back!’ called Colin as a car swept past. ‘Shit. He saw me, you know.’

  Lydia took off her shoes and massaged her feet.

  ‘There’s a rank down on Patrick St. Go down and get one. I’ll wait here, as I really can’t walk.’

  Colin looked unsure. ‘Try and walk with me, Lyd. I don’t want to leave you alone.’

  ‘I can’t. I’m crippled. I’ll be fine, just hurry.’

  Colin ran off, his scarf trailing behind him.

  Sitting down on a step, she rubbed her big toe. It would be black and blue tomorrow, she was sure of it.

  ‘Hi.’ A deep voice startled her.

  She looked up to see the dark-haired guy from the club smiling down at her.

  ‘Can I sit with you?’

  She stiffened. I’m just waiting for a taxi.’

  ‘Can I share it with you when it comes?’

  ‘Um, I don’t think so. Colin will be there.’

  ‘Ahhh, the boyfriend.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are your feet sore? Do you want me to rub them?’

  Lydia started to laugh. ‘No thanks, you’re all right.’

  ‘God loves a trier.’ He smiled.

  ‘I could think of more pleasant things to do.’

  They sat in silence for a minute and then he spoke.

  ‘Look, I want to kiss you. I’ve wanted to all night. Do you want to?’

  Lydia looked at him in shock. ‘No, I don’t want to. I have a boyfriend.’

  ‘Ah come on, he’s as gay as Christmas! Don’t tell me he’s the man in your life.’

  He leaned in closer and she backed away.

  ‘I have a man in my life. It may not be Colin, but I do.’

  ‘Then where is he?’ he asked scornfully. ‘You look like the type of girl who is out for a good time.’

  ‘What did you say?’ She felt the anger rising.

  ‘I mean, anyone who wears a dress like that!’

  ‘I told you, I have a boyfriend. Now please leave.’ Her voice started to quiver.

  ‘Oh yeah, where is he then?’

  Lydia sprang to her feet in outrage. ‘He’s –’

  ‘Here.’ Luca calmly appeared out of nowhere and pulled her close. ‘So back off, buddy, or I’ll bust your ass.’

  The other guy jumped to his feet in anger.

  ‘Where have you been all night then? If I were you I’d keep a close eye on your girlfriend. She’s really putting it out there.’

  Lydia lunged forward to slap him, but Luca was too quick. He hit him square on the jaw.

  ‘Fuck you!’ he roared. ‘Now beat it.’

  The guy retreated hastily, rubbing his jaw. ‘I’ll get you for this, you Yankee prick!’

  Lydia shivered in her flimsy dress. Luca gazed down at her and stroked her cheek.

  ‘Hey, are you okay?’ he asked tenderly. ‘Where’s your jacket?’

  ‘Someone stole it,’ she answered dolefully.

  ‘Here, take mine.’ He wrapped his bomber jacket around her shoulders.

  At that moment a taxi pulled up and Colin’s curly head appeared out the passenger window. His eyes widened when he saw Luca.

  ‘Come on, Lyd,’ he said, signalling for her to get into the car. ‘We’re holding up traffic.’

  Luca reached out and touched her arm.

  ‘Hey, can I get a ride with you guys? It’s pretty cold.’

  Colin’s eyes were on stalks. He waited for Lydia to refuse.

  ‘Okay,’ she said softly. ‘I am wearing your jacket after all.’

  The taxi stopped at Colin’s place first.

  ‘Oh no!’ Colin turned to the driver. ‘Can you drop the others off before me?’

  ‘That’s the opposite direction,’ answered the cabbie. ‘Makes no sense.’

  ‘I’ll pay you double!’

  ‘No can do, boy. I’m up the walls tonight. It’s just too busy.’

  ‘I could go with you for the spin and walk home.’

  The driver raised an eyebrow. ‘If you like.’

  ‘Colin!’ Lydia gave him a pointed look. ‘It’s fine.’

  He exited the car reluctantly and handed the driver ten euros. ‘That should cover my fare.’ He knocked on the back window and Lydia opened it.

  ‘Text me later when you’re alone,’ he said emphasising the ‘alone
’. ‘Just to make sure you got home safely.’

  ‘Colin! I’m not twelve.’ She waved. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’

  ‘Night, Colin,’ said Luca. ‘Thanks for letting me share the cab.’

  The window closed and the taxi drove off.

  The car smelt of pine cones, probably from the tree-shaped freshener hanging off the rear-view mirror. Luca sat silently, his profile silhouetted against the orange streetlights outside.

  They turned onto College Road.

  ‘It’s the yellow building on the right,’ said Lydia, pointing.

  The car halted.

  ‘How much do I owe you?’ she asked, opening her clutch.

  ‘Here, let me.’ Luca dug his hand into his jeans pocket.

  ‘No, no. I’ll pay.’

  ‘Let me.’ His tone was firm.

  ‘A fiver will be fine,’ said the driver. ‘Your curly-haired friend overpaid for his journey.’

  Luca handed him the money as Lydia got out of the car. ‘Thanks, man. Have a good night.’ He followed her out onto the street.

  The taxi sped off and disappeared.

  Lydia regarded him warily. ‘Why did you let him go?’

  ‘It’s cool. I can walk from here.’

  ‘Here – take your jacket then.’

  ‘Wait until you’re inside. I don’t want you getting cold.’

  She took her keys from her bag and walked up to the front door.

  ‘I’ll be fine from here.’ She turned to face him, her eyes huge.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I’m sure.’

  He brushed a lock of hair back off her face. She could smell his cologne. It was musky and heady and it made her head spin.

  ‘Can I come up for a drink?’ he whispered.

  She closed her eyes, her senses dulled from alcohol. It was hard to think rationally when he was so close.

  ‘I don’t think so …’

  ‘Just a quick drink.’ He took the key from her grasp and opened the heavy door. ‘I promise I’ll behave.’

  Lydia turned on the lights in the flat and kicked off her high heels.

  ‘Oh, it’s cold. I’ll just turn on the heating.’