Magni

by Janice M. Whiteaker

  Rhea leaned in. “You want to talk about it?”

  “Yes.” Christine closed her eyes and let her head rest back against the desk behind her. “But I don’t know that I can just yet.”

  Rhea squeezed her hand. “I understand.”

  Two words she hadn’t heard and believed since her mother died. Christine rolled her head to look at Rhea. “Thank you.”

  “No problem.” Rhea pressed her lips together as the warmth spread across Christine’s chest. “We do need to talk about the test results though don’t we?”

  Christine sighed. “I just got the call last night. They sent me my paperwork today.” She shrugged. “It is what it is I guess.”

  “When do we go in?” Rhea scooted closer, letting the side of her body press into the side of Christine’s.

  “Day after tomorrow. They want to go in and hopefully take it all out.” Either way it meant radiation and maybe more. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t faced before. And she could do it again. She had no choice.

  “And you haven’t told him.” Rhea didn’t ask. She knew.

  Christine shook her head. “How can I? He’s already had one woman leave him. How can I tell him there’s a chance I could too?”

  Cora sat down on Christine’s other side. Rhea’s sister was quiet and almost withdrawn but carried a silent sort of strength that brought an amount of comfort all the ‘it will be okay's’ in the world couldn’t give her. “You know that’s not a given, right?”

  “This is the second time for me though.” Maybe if she hadn’t had it before and maybe if they’d been together longer but not now. “I can’t put him through this.”

  “Can I point out how ridiculous this is?” Rhea leaned forward. “How in the world do you think you will sneak a freaking surgery past him?”

  “She did it once already.” Cora’s eyes stayed on Christine. Deep and rich. And knowing. “She hid it with make-up.”

  Rhea didn’t seem to notice her sister wasn’t guessing. She cocked her head to one side and glared at Christine. “You didn’t.”

  “I won’t do this to him.” Christine stood up. “Not until I absolutely have to.”

  Rhea stood up beside her. “I think we’re at that point Christine.”

  Christine shook her head. “Not until I absolutely have to.”

  And if that time came,

  God help her for what she would have to do.

  ****

  Magni stood at the edge of the woods, listening. He stepped into the trees, letting the beast roam free as he pushed through the underbrush, hoping to cover as much ground as he could. Coming out here this morning had to be done. It was important.

  But so was Christine. Leaving her alone in her bed was more difficult than he wanted to admit. After years of being pulled to the woods, searching for a woman who didn’t deserve his time, Magni struggled now to leave the one that did. The only woman to put him before herself.

  He moved silently over the ground, easily navigating the woods he knew like the back of his hand, until the tree stood in front of him. The air here seemed darker, heavier, colder.

  But there was nothing there. Only the tree, a pentagram knifed into its bark in crude, crooked lines.

  Magni shivered as the weight of the atmosphere pushed in around him. He needed to know what Christine saw here. What it was that affected her so much she nearly collapsed in his arms, making him consider taking vengeance and cutting the damn thing to the ground.

  Giving the cursed spot one last look, Magni left, his beast falling back as he closed in on his cabin, shedding the coarse hair that protected his body as he went. By the time he was inside the beast was back in its home, tucked away until he was needed again.

  Magni showered and pulled on fresh clothes, rushing the process, itching to get back to Christine. The sun wasn’t up yet and if he was lucky she would still be asleep. Tucked into her bed. Safe and warm where he left her. Begrudgingly.

  The sun was barely peeking over the horizon as he pulled up to her house. He opened the door and slipped inside using the key he snagged from the table before he left. Magni dropped it back in place as he went, planning on going straight to the bedroom until he heard the sound of the shower running. His mood lifted. A naked and awake Christine in need of soaping up was even better than a sleeping Christine.

  He could use two showers this morning anyway.

  The lure of fresh coffee caught his attention as he neared the dining room, convincing Magni to make a quick stop in the kitchen. He made himself a cup of coffee and fixed one for Christine as a bribe to swindle his way into the shower with her.

  A folder lay across the dining room table. As he passed the letterhead of a hospital an hour away caught his eye. He went cold as the words written in bold across the top registered.

  “I didn’t realize you were coming back so soon.” Christine stood in the door to the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel and a heavy robe tied around her body.

  “I see that.” Magni looked down at the paper spelling out the date and time of a lumpectomy. When she should arrive at the hospital. When she should stop eating. That she should have someone come with her to drive her home. “When were you going to tell me about this?”

  “I wasn’t.”

  Magni looked up at the woman he thought was finally opening up to him. “Because?”

  Christine sucked in a quick breath and let it back out. “Because there was no reason to.”

  Her words were short. Callous. Unemotional.

  “Because I’m not really a part of your life, am I?” Magni shook his head. How could he be so stupid? Christine didn’t let anyone close enough to hurt her and he stupidly thought he would be different. That he could show her he wasn’t the man she saw before. That she would finally let someone have her back, and that someone could be him.

  But it looked like she didn’t intend to give him the chance.

  Christine blinked a few times. “I don’t think you should be.”

  Magni snorted. “Hell of a way to find out.” He looked at her one last time, the beast inside clawing at his insides. Then he turned from Christine and left her house.

  And left her life.

  ****

  Christine sank to the floor.

  It felt like her insides were ripped out, shredded into a million pieces, leaving her bleeding and raw.

  All she wanted was him. Magni was everything and now he was gone.

  Not because she didn’t want him to be a part of her life but because she did. More than she wanted anything.

  But not if it would only bring him pain. She would suffer alone for a million years to protect Magni from another loss. This one real.

  She curled to her side as hot tears slipped over her skin, catching in the towel still wrapped around her head. Christine squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out the hurt in his eyes as she told him another lie. One more she didn’t want to tell. One more to carry until the day she died.

  Maybe she shouldn’t block out his pain. Maybe that’s what she should focus on. Because the hurt Magni would have if she let him stay with her could only get worse.

  He would feel like she did now. Gutted. Empty.

  Broken.

  Christine closed her eyes, letting the sadness pull her in and under until darkness was all around her. She wallowed in it, hoping it would take her to its depths and leave her there.

  “Christine?” Rhea rushed through the house and dropped by her side. “Jesus.” She turned to look over her shoulder. “Get her up on the couch.”

  Strong arms lifted her off the ground and carefully carried her to the sofa, setting her down. Hagen stepped back. “Is she okay?”

  Rhea shook her head as one hand cupped Christine’s face. “You can’t do this.”

  Christine rolled her head away. She could and she would. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. If they could fix her they would. If they couldn’t...

  That didn’t matter anymore either.

&
nbsp; “You have to be ready to fight Christine or it will win.” Rhea grabbed her hand. “Please. For me.”

  “He left.” The words hurt as they came out, squeezing the ache in her chest tighter.

  “What?” The rage in Hagen’s voice made her sit up.

  “No. It’s not his fault.” Christine stood up, catching Hagen as he yanked open the door with a force she was surprised didn’t rip it off its hinges. She grabbed his arm. “Don’t be upset with him.”

  Rhea stood up from where she knelt by the couch. “This is Christine’s decision.”

  Hagen looked at Christine. She saw the realization creep across his face. “You’re not being fair to him.”

  She closed her eyes. Nothing about life was fair. That was a lesson she’d learned many times over, both in her own life and in what she’d seen in other people’s. “I’m not trying to do what’s fair.” Christine took a deep breath and opened her eyes, feeling the fight inside coming back. Maybe not as much for herself but for Magni. She would protect him from this and God help Hagen if he got in her way. “I’m trying to do what’s right.”

  “What’s right for who?” Hagen looked at Rhea. “Can I get a little help here? She’s being crazy, right?”

  Rhea raised an eyebrow at him. Her eyes moved to Christine. “She has to do what she thinks is right.”

  “Hell.” Hagen walked out the door shaking his head. “Then you two are on your own. I’m not having any part in it.” He stopped on the porch. “I’ll see you in the morning though because I’m still taking you three to the hospital.”

  Christine looked at Rhea. “What?”

  Rhea shut the door on her husband and walked away. “He wouldn’t let me say no.” She peeked out the front window, watching him walk back to their house. “He’s worried and when he’s worried he’s a pain in the ass.” Her lips twitched as Hagen sauntered across the street. “He’s fine as hell though so I have a hard time being too aggravated with him.” She turned to face Christine. “Are you ready?”

  Christine eased onto the couch, rubbing at her burning eyelids. “For what?”

  Rhea rubbed her hands together. “I might not be able to fix you but we’re gonna see what I can do to make you feel a little better.”

  Christine shook her head. “No.”

  “No?” Rhea put her hands on her hips and stared at her, the gold ribbons in her eyes flashing.

  “No thank you.” Christine looked up from the couch. “I’m tired. I just want to be alone.”

  “No.”

  Christine glared at Rhea. “Yes.”

  Rhea tipped her head to one side and gave her a sweet smile. “No.”

  Christine dropped her head back against the couch. She’d created a monster, or at least had a hand in keeping it in Greenlea. Yet another good reason to wrangle her visions back into their fortress of solitude. “Why are you being like this?”

  “Because it’s what you need.” Rhea came to the couch and flopped down beside her. She pulled out her phone and started tapping at the screen. “You need a whole pile of people around you to make you feel better since you won’t let me try.”

  “Fine.” Christine held out one hand. “Do whatever you want. We both know it won’t matter anyway. I’m not your problem to fix.”

  Rhea slapped at her hand without looking up from the screen. “It’s too late now.” She dropped her phone to her lap. They should be here soon.”

  “They?”

  Rhea nodded slowly, a smile on her face.

  “They.”

  21

  Magni sat back against the tree and stared into the blackness. The woods were silent around him. No breeze. No rustle of small animals across the ground. Nothing. He rubbed his eyes, trying to ease the sting of staring into nothing for twelve hours, trying to figure out where the fuck he went wrong.

  He sucked in a long draw through his third cigarette in a row, blowing out the smoke on a long exhale. It probably wasn’t the smartest move to be smoking right now. Made him an easy target but they’d find him eventually anyway. He could feel them getting closer, moving in a slow circle, narrowing in on his location.

  Little shit heads didn’t know when to leave a man alone.

  Magni burned the last bit of his cigarette and pinched it out between his fingers. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited as the circle closed in around him.

  “You smokin’ again old man?”

  Magni looked up at Hagen. “Might as well.”

  His oldest nephew nodded, his face shadowed. “Fair enough.” He eased down to the ground, stretching his legs out in front of him as he leaned back against a tree.

  “That’s all you have to say?” Magni expected Hagen to give him hell. Rake him over the coals for letting Christine push him away. Not sit down and keep him company in his misery.

  Hagen took a long breath through his nose and blew it out his mouth. “No. I’ve got a hell of a lot to say but I promised my wife I wouldn’t.” He pulled one knee up and hooked his arm over it. “Apparently this isn’t my business.”

  “Then why the fuck are you here?” Magni picked up a stick and threw it at his nephew hoping to goad him into a fight. Hagen blocked it, knocking it to one side.

  “Cause Rhea’s not the boss of me.” Jerrik stepped out from behind the tree Hagen leaned against. “And I can say whatever the fuck I want to your dumb ass.” Jerrik looked down at Hagen. “Are you having déjà vous?” His head turned back to Magni. “Cause I feel like we’ve done this once before.”

  Magni stood up. “This is different.”

  “Only cause your dick’s not hanging out.” Jerrik stretched his arms over his head. “Thank you for that by the way.”

  “It’s different because that one was being a twat.” He pointed at Hagen. “He brought it on himself.”

  Hagen started to speak then caught himself. “Fuck.” He hit Jerrik in the leg. “Tell him.”

  “Christine’s trying to protect you.”

  Magni snorted. “From what? Being fucking happy?” He pulled out another cigarette. “Sorry boys, but shit doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. Sometimes a woman is just a woman. There’s plenty more out there.” He almost choked on the words as they came out. Whether he was trying to save face or hoping to play down the knife still stuck in his gut didn’t matter. All Magni knew was he didn’t want them to hate Christine for what she did and if his nephews knew the way he felt right now they would.

  Magni didn’t see the hook coming his way until it was too late. Hagen’s fist caught him square in the jaw before he could block it, knocking him back a step. “You don’t have any fucking clue what you’re talking about.” Hagen grabbed the front of his shirt and shoved Magni hard against the tree behind him. “You didn’t see the way she looked after you left yesterday morning.”

  Magni tried to break free of Hagen’s hold but his nephew held tight. “She told me to get out of her life. What the fuck did you want me to do?”

  “Be a man and stay anyway.” Hagen shoved against him one more time before backing away. “I never would have pegged you to turn out to be a pussy.”

  Magni pushed off the tree and lunged at Hagen, taking him down to the ground. Their bodies hit the dirt hard. Magni winced as a branch cut into his side, focusing on the pain as it stabbed into his skin. It was an easier pain to bear than the one twisting inside his chest.

  Hagen’s elbow caught him in the chin as his nephew twisted, rolling them both down a slight incline, each man struggling to get the upper hand. Magni managed to get on top for a split second before Hagen took him back to the ground.

  “What in the hell?” Joel nearly went down, his boot clipping Hagen as he tried to jump over them. He stumbled to one side, barely managing to stay on his feet.

  Jerrik took a step back as they rolled his way, arms flying, legs kicking. “Let em go. Hagen owes him.”

  Magni was breathing heavy and taking every elbow and knee Hagen wanted to throw his way. It felt
better than what he’d suffered through all night, wishing there was something he could have done differently to make her trust him. There wasn’t. He sealed his own fate with her all those years ago when he cut Christine down. Broke her.

  He had this coming.

  “Jesus Christ Magni.” Hagen rolled them over and spread his legs, pinning Magni on his stomach underneath the weight of his body. “Why won’t you just admit you were wrong and go take care of your fucking woman?”

  “She’s not mine.” He coughed against the dirt creeping into the side of his mouth. “Never was.” He stopped fighting.

  Hagen pushed off his back and stood up. “Then Christine doesn’t fucking know that.” Hagen spit on the ground and wiped across his mouth with his arm. “She was just laying there Magni.” Hagen’s voice hitched. “I had to pick her up because you were too big of a coward to tell her she’s a liar.”

  “She’s not a liar.” Magni dove at Hagen for the second time. Hagen side stepped him. This time Jerrik stepped in, catching him off guard, grabbing Magni around the waist and throwing him to the ground.

  Magni stared up at him. “I called her a liar once.” He shook his head. “I won’t do it again.”

  Jerrik threw his hands up in the air. “Who’s being a twat now?”

  “I won’t treat her like that again.” Magni stood back up, dusting himself off. “She didn’t deserve it then, she doesn’t deserve it now.” Christine needed a man who was calm and patient and gentle. None of the things he was. He’d tried like hell to be what she deserved. But obviously came up short. “She needs a man who is sweet and considerate.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Not someone like me.”

  “If she wanted someone else she’d have had someone else.” Joel looked around as the other men turned to face him. To be honest Magni forgot his son was there in the scuffle with his nephews. Joel sized him up in the bare glow of the first light of the morning. “Craig was ready to move in until you grabbed her in the street that day.”