Too Hard to Break

by Missy Jane

  He didn’t return my weak smile, just nodded. “Okay. You know why I’m here. Do I need to wait for you to pack, or what?”

  I sighed and glanced at Hank who was watching with an intent expression. Did I still want to leave him?

  “To be honest, I’m not sure you living alone is such a good idea after all,” Sean said.

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t realize Declan was still an issue.”

  I snorted and ran a hand through my hair, only then realizing he had loosened my ponytail. I probably looked a mess. “Me either. I hadn’t heard from him in almost two months.”

  “Well now that he knows you’re still here you’ll probably be safe. But if he somehow found out you were living alone…I just don’t know. To be honest, I’d rather you come stay with me and Megan.”

  Knowing he was right didn’t weaken my resolve to live on my own, but I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t want to have to hide my actions from Declan or anyone else. For all I knew, my mom or sister kept him updated on my every move. He would know I was living alone within hours and probably knocking on my door that same night. My independence wasn’t worth my life.

  “No. I won’t intrude on you two like that.” He shook his head and I held up my hand to stop his protest. “It would be an intrusion and I’m not going to do that to you two. Anyway, Hank has made it perfectly clear I’m welcome to stay here as long as I want.”

  “And you want to?”

  I glanced at Hank who was still watching us as if we were the most interesting thing in the world. His shoulders and jaw were rigid. There wasn’t even a hint of his usual humor anywhere on his face. He actually looked worried.

  “Yeah. He’s treated me like a queen. I really don’t have a reason to go…I guess.”

  Sean glanced Hank’s way before stepping into my line of sight and blocking Hank from view.

  “So what’s the problem then? Why were you so eager to move out this morning? You can tell me, Elle. I’ll protect you from him.”

  A genuine smile crossed my lips as I looked into Sean’s intense gaze. It was as if he was trying to read my mind. “I really appreciate that. More than you know. No one’s ever really offered to protect me before…well, before Hank.”

  “So?”

  I knew what he was asking but didn’t really want to talk about it. Still, he deserved an answer. “Well, you know how y’all saw him with that woman the other day?”

  He groaned and rubbed his eyes with both hands before settling them on his waist. “I told Megan we shouldn’t get involved. I’m sure it was nothing, Elle.”

  I just shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know and he isn’t saying but things have been…different lately.”

  “So, why don’t you just ask him? I’ll bet you haven’t, have you?”

  I sighed and decided to see what my toes were doing. They were wiggling around as uncomfortably as the rest of me under his interrogation. “No,” I mumbled. “I haven’t.”

  He snorted and shook his head. “All right. Look, Elle, it’s up to you. If you still feel safe here then that’s good enough for me. If not, just say the word and you’re out of here.”

  Sudden tears burned the back of my throat at his sincere offer. What did I do to deserve such loyalty from my best friend’s fiancé? After fighting my own battles for so long it was a little overwhelming. I cleared my throat and looked him in the eye.

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine here a bit longer. I’m safe with Hank. Thank you though.”

  Sean nodded and ran a hand through his short hair, looking around for a moment as if he’d say more. Finally, he just nodded again and headed back to where Hank still stood waiting as if he could do so all day. I followed slowly, trying to get my emotions back under control. The urge to run into Hank’s arms was strong. Too strong.

  “All right. I’m heading home,” Sean said. He shook Hank’s hand and looked at me again. “Call if you need anything.”

  “I will. Thanks, Sean.”

  “Yeah. Thanks. I really owe you one,” Hank said.

  Sean just nodded to each of us and walked to his car. I stood a few feet away from Hank, watching until Sean’s taillights disappeared around the bend in the driveway.

  For a moment we both just stood where we were, separated by more than the space between us. My pulse had finally calmed to normal but the urge to cry hadn’t disappeared. Hank’s body heat warmed my side as he slowly closed the distance. He didn’t say anything, just put his arms around me gently until I melted against him. Then the floodgates opened and all the fear came rushing back like a tidal wave. I burst into tears as he lifted me into his arms.

  “Shh, baby, it’s okay now. That son of a bitch is gone and he won’t be back if he knows what’s good for him.”

  He cradled me against his chest as he walked onto the porch and somehow got the front door open. Next thing I knew, we were on the sofa. I tried to move away but he kept me on his lap and held me close.

  “Just let it all out. Cry as much as you need to.”

  That almost made me laugh but I wasn’t through crying yet. A few minutes later the waterworks finally dried and I was drained, bone-tired in a way I’d never felt before. Hank kept his arms around me but didn’t protest when I straightened to look him in the eye.

  “I’m sorry I brought trouble to your doorstep,” I said.

  He frowned and huffed out a breath. “You’ve got no reason to apologize. Declan is an idiot, but he came here on his own. You had no control over that.”

  “If I had moved out by now—”

  “No. Don’t even talk like that because it wouldn’t have mattered. For one thing, he hates my guts. He probably would’ve come around to start trouble eventually anyway. To be honest, I can’t imagine what he would’ve done if he caught you living alone somewhere. I really don’t think you moving is a good idea.”

  I sighed and nodded my agreement before laying my head on his shoulder. “Yeah. Sean said pretty much the same thing.”

  “And?”

  The hopeful tone of his voice hurt my chest. Why would he care so much if there was another woman in his life?

  “And, if you’re really not sick of me yet I guess I’ll stay for a bit.”

  He chuckled and squeezed me tighter for a second before placing a kiss on my temple. The urge to lift my head and take a real kiss was hard to fight, but I did.

  “Of course I’m not sick of you, and I never will be. I told you, Elle, I like taking care of you.”

  I smiled up at him but the look in his eyes was very serious. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  His muscles tightened beneath me and I thought he was just going to sit up, but then he leaned forward with his gaze still fixed on me. Panic flooded my system and like a deer in headlights I froze. There was no doubt he was going to kiss me. His warm lips pressed against the bridge of my nose first. He gently made his way from one cheek to the other, kissing various spots. My skin heated beneath his touch and all my earlier doubts and concerns disappeared. Surely he wouldn’t be doing this if he had another woman. By the time he made it to my mouth I was squirming in his lap and more than ready to receive his kiss. Hot lips whispered over mine in a tease that made me moan in frustration. He chuckled before finally nibbling on my lips.

  Then his cell phone rang.

  It was early enough to be his job and we both knew it. He groaned and sat up slowly as I jumped off his lap. I turned away and tried to catch my breath as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

  “This is Hank.”

  He glanced at me, then away quickly before standing and walking from the room without another word. If that wasn’t suspicious, I don’t know what would be. My chest ached and tears threatened again, but I fought them down and took a deep breath.

  “All righty then. Now what?”

  I just didn’t know. But then my stomach growled and I decided to get the basics out of the way first. I walked back outside to get my shoe
s and my purse. He hadn’t returned to the living room by the time I got back inside, so I dropped them by the sofa and headed for the kitchen.

  I’d never cooked for Hank. It hadn’t dawned on me he had made every single one of our meals since day one until I was standing in his kitchen looking around as if I’d never seen it before. Maybe that was the problem? How could I preach about being Miss Independent when I leaned so heavily on him every day? Well it was time for a change. He probably didn’t even realize I could cook. And to be honest, I loved to do it. Cooking and especially baking had always been one of my escapes when I was upset. It had started when I still lived at home and growing up hadn’t changed it.

  I rummaged through his well-stocked refrigerator and pantry, pleasantly surprised by what he had on hand. I knew his love of cooking was a blessing but was still shocked the man actually stocked portabella mushrooms and capers. Within minutes I was chopping vegetables while real butter melted in a sauce pan just waiting for my input. I no longer cared if I impressed Hank or not. I was in my element, cooking with ingredients I didn’t usually get to play with and anticipating the flavors. The kitchen filled with the aroma of sautéing vegetables and I started cubing the boneless chicken breasts. I was humming under my breath without a care in the world.

  “Damn, it smells good in here.”

  I jumped when Hank’s hands landed on my hips and nearly sliced my thumb. “Damn it, Hank, you almost made me cut myself.”

  “Shit. Sorry, baby. You okay?”

  I nodded and got back to work but he didn’t move. He leaned on my shoulder, his cheek almost pressed to mine. It took all of my will to concentrate on the task at hand as his slight stubble grazed my skin. A shiver worked up my spine and I cleared my throat.

  “This shouldn’t take too long.”

  He kissed my cheek and thankfully backed away. “You know, you didn’t have to start dinner. I’d planned to get on it once I was finished with my call.”

  I stopped cutting and looked up, one brow raised in what I hoped was a questioning expression. He grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the refrigerator. I waited another full second to see if he would answer my unasked question. He just watched me and I finally looked back down at the raw chicken in my hands.

  “Everything okay at work?”

  “Yup. I got two projects going but they’re both pretty much on schedule. One might actually be ahead of schedule, which would be amazing.”

  “Well, that’s good.”

  “Hell yeah, it is. Once these two are done I’m gonna take some time off.”

  He closed the distance between us again until he was almost crowding me. I didn’t comment as he moved a strand of hair behind my ear that had escaped my ponytail.

  “Do you have any vacation time coming up at the gym?”

  I bit my lip and dumped the rest of the chicken in the pan. We were on a fiscal year at the gym and I could never remember when our time rolled over. Megan usually kept it straight and told me when I could miss work again.

  “I don’t know. I was in the hospital a couple of times this year. I’ll have to check.”

  He frowned and paced away from me. I watched his rigid back as he pulled the refrigerator open with more force than it needed. Bottles rattled in the door and he took a deep breath before glancing at me over his shoulder.

  “Want a beer?”

  “Sure.”

  He grabbed two bottles and shut the refrigerator. I stirred the food as he popped the bottles open and set mine on the counter near me.

  “I still can’t believe I didn’t realize that bastard was beating you for so long. I swear, Elle, if I had known—”

  “I know, Hank. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.”

  We’d had this conversation a few times already. He was still angry at himself for all the times he’d been over at Declan’s and not known I was hurting.

  “I know you don’t, but maybe you should.”

  “No way. I got really good at hiding it. Hell, a few times Megan didn’t even know. I’m probably a born actress. I was even fooling myself for a while there.”

  He took a long pull on his beer and swallowed it down with a sigh. Then he shook his head and started setting the table for dinner.

  Nothing else was said for a few minutes as I finished cooking. I was more than a little disappointed he hadn’t taken the bait and told me who had called. He had alluded to it being about work, but at my prompting. So I was back at square one and still confused. My gut told me he would never cheat on a woman. My heart swore he wouldn’t have held and kissed me if there was someone else. But still the slightest doubt nagged me. I hated it and wanted to ignore it all together. But some things just fester until, like a sore tooth, they need to be rooted out and dealt with. I wasn’t brave enough to face his answer by asking him outright. So of course I had to go to the next best thing. It was time to find out the answers for myself.

  Chapter Four

  The next afternoon I sat in Megan’s car, sipping a chocolate shake while she drove Houston’s familiar streets. She’d tried to talk me out of my plan only once before agreeing to help me. She was my best friend for a reason.

  We both wore dark sunglasses and baseball caps. I didn’t really think it would help but she had insisted we at least try to be sneaky. I didn’t see the point. If I spied Hank with another woman I didn’t plan to sneak off with my tail tucked between my legs. Oh, hell no. I was going to confront the SOB about last night’s kiss and ask him who the hell he thought he was playing. At least, that was the plan.

  We found Hank’s work site with no problem but his truck wasn’t there. I sauntered into the construction office as if I had a right and sweet-talked his foreman into telling me where he’d run off to. The man was more than happy to give me directions to the other work site. Within five minutes we were there and I was pissed.

  “This can’t be right!”

  Megan shrugged and tapped the screen of her GPS as if it had gone out. It hadn’t.

  “This is where he said to go but…it’s just an empty lot,” she said.

  I huffed out a breath of frustration and got out of the car. I looked around as if Hank’s truck could be hiding in the weeds of the vacant city lot.

  “Well?” she asked over the top of her car. “What do you want to do?”

  I threw up my hands and got back into my seat. She followed suit and put the car in gear. “I guess we should just get back to work.”

  “I told Ben we might run late and he said he’d cover the counter ’til we get back.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. Ben was such a sweetheart. “Yeah but I don’t want to take advantage of his generosity.”

  “Generosity hell, I bought him a hamburger.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “I can’t believe the junk he eats and still stays in such great shape.”

  “Says the woman slurping a chocolate shake.”

  We both giggled around our straws.

  It didn’t take long to get back to the gym and we had only gone ten minutes over our lunch break. Ben wasn’t angry once we handed him his food and stayed to bug me while he ate.

  “You know, you really should go to the break room with that. What kind of example are you setting for our members?” I asked.

  He rolled his eyes and pulled the bottom of his shirt up to reveal a perfectly sculpted six-pack. “All they need to see is this and I’ll tell them about the hours I put in every single day.”

  I sighed and shook my head with a laugh. “You really don’t have a life, do you?”

  “Not really. I keep waiting for you to decide to go out with me so I have something more important to do.”

  “Right. Honey, I am so bad for you in so many ways. Besides, didn’t I hear you took Sean’s sister out when she was in town?”

  He frowned and looked away. “Yeah. She went back to New York though. Long-distance relationships aren’t my thing, you know?”

  “
Yeah? Well living with one guy and dating another isn’t my thing. You can do better anyway.”

  He tossed his trash and looked back at me intently. I couldn’t read his expression but it was the most serious I’d ever seen on him.

  “Why do you do that?” he asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Down yourself like that? Why would you say I can do better when I think you’re pretty great?”

  My face heated and I couldn’t hold his gaze. He stood as I spun to face the counter. His hands landed on either side of mine, his chest barely touching my back. He was nearly as big as Hank and cocooned me within his arms just as easily. But where Hank made me feel protected, Ben made me uncomfortable. I leaned back to push him away but he wouldn’t budge.

  “Tell me why, Elle. Tell me why you don’t realize how perfect you are.”

  The breath froze in my lungs and panic crawled up my throat. I suddenly felt trapped by him and had to get away. “I-I’m not. Ben, move. Move back now.”

  He stayed put for another second before finally backing away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…scare you.”

  I forced myself to laugh it off but still didn’t turn to face him. “I-I’m fine. You just shouldn’t crowd me like that.”

  “Sorry.”

  He might have said more, might have started asking again for answers I didn’t want to give. But then Megan returned from her kickboxing class and I was saved.

  “Whew, that one kicked my ass,” she said.

  Ben and I both laughed as we took in her sweaty form. She might complain every now and then but she loved leading the kickboxing class. I did cycling and couldn’t handle much more.

  “Yeah? Anyone hit on you today?” Ben asked.

  She grinned and shook her head. “Nope. I think the others learned their lesson after Sean gave that one guy a talking to.”

  “What?” I asked. “What did I miss?”

  “Megan had an admirer in one of her classes that kept asking her out,” Ben said.

  “Yeah. I even told the guy I live with my boyfriend and he wouldn’t listen. He just kept bugging me after every class.”