“She does. She—well, I’ve been pushing her.”
“Pushing her? Hell, Russ, you pushed her way harder at the clinic. She’s on a picnic here.”
Russ stifled a groan. There was no point in keeping secrets from the old man. Especially when he was close to both Laurel and Russ. “I’m not talking about work now, Maccoy. I—” He stopped his forward movement and turned to look at Maccoy, who’d halted alongside him. “I might as well tell you—I asked Laurel to marry me. And she’s all upset about the whole thing.”
A wide grin suddenly split across the older man’s face. “Now, that’s some good news! And about time, too, if you ask me.”
“Hell, Maccoy, didn’t you hear me? She gave me a big, loud no. She’s... Well, she doesn’t want to be my wife.”
“That’s why she’s angry? ’Cause you proposed to her? That don’t make sense, Russ. She could’ve said no without getting mad about it.” Shaking his head, he reached over and patted Russ’s shoulder. “Forget all that nonsense. She’ll say yes—eventually. I’ll bet on it.”
Russ grimaced. “I wouldn’t put too much money on the wager, Maccoy. You need to remember I don’t exactly have a good track record with women.”
“Bah. What the hell did Brooke know? The woman was no good from the start. But Laurel. She’s a keeper. A real keeper.”
Releasing a weary breath, Russ said, “I wished you’d let me in on that sooner. Seems like I’m always slow about waking up and seeing what’s right in front of me. I wasted time in getting rid of Brooke, and now I’ve messed up by not courting Laurel years ago.”
The older man gave Russ’s shoulder another comforting pat. “You’ll figure things out with Laurel. Just let her know you love her. ’Cause I don’t think that girl has had much of that in her life. People like her—sometimes it’s hard for them to accept love.”
He cast a sly look at Maccoy. “Where did you learn so much about such things?”
“I may not look like it now, but I once turned a few female heads. Mae was going to marry me, too, but then she had to get sick and die on me. I shouldn’t have dallied around about asking her. At least I would’ve had a wife for a while.”
“Well, you might have got your timing wrong with Mae. But you’re damned right about Laurel not having much love in her life. And that’s something I’m going to do my best to change,” Russ told him, then hurried out of the barn to tend the waiting heifer.
* * *
Two busy weeks had passed when Laurel got the news that Alexa and her two children had arrived on the ranch. Hardly able to contain her excitement, she informed Maccoy where she’d be and practically raced across the ranch yard to the big two-story house.
As soon as she entered the atrium, she could hear childish shrieks in the kitchen. When she stepped inside, she could see where the sound was coming from. A little boy that looked very much like Alexa’s husband, Jonas, was riding a stick horse at a reckless gallop through the kitchen.
“Jonas David! That’s enough or I’m going to take Silver away from you and tie him in the broom closet!” Alexa warned the boy.
Giggling mischievously, he stopped long enough to give his mother a daring grin. “Silver wouldn’t like it there! I’m gonna take him outside,” the boy exclaimed, then as he darted toward the door, he spotted Laurel and jammed on the brakes, which in this case was a pair of brown cowboy boots.
“Who are you?” he asked curiously.
Bending down to the boy’s level, she said in a gentle voice, “I’m Laurel. And you must be Jonas.”
She’d not seen Alexa’s first child since her friend had given birth to him here at the Chaparral nearly four years ago. He’d grown into an adorable boy with thick brown hair and freckled nose. His blue eyes sparkled with high spirits, and Laurel was surprised at how much she wanted to gather him up in her arms and squish him with affection.
The child nodded just as Alexa spotted her and squealed with joy.
“Laurel!” She practically ran across the room, and Laurel felt her eyes mist over as the other woman hugged her tightly. “We didn’t hear you come in, did we, Reena?”
The cook laughed. “How could we with little Jonas turning the kitchen into a racetrack.”
Grabbing her by the hand, Alexa pulled her over to the middle of the kitchen, where Reena was standing at the work island peeling a pile of turnips.
“Look at her, Reena! Isn’t she lovely,” Alexa exclaimed.
Laurel rolled her eyes at her friend’s description. “Oh, sure. I always look my best with cow manure on my boots and jeans and my hair looking like I had a fight with a bear.”
“Laurel always looks lovely,” Reena answered Alexa’s question. “Especially when she smiles. But here lately I haven’t seen very much smiling from her.”
Laurel shrugged out of her coat, and Alexa peered anxiously at her as she took the garment from her and hung it on the back of a nearby chair.
“Please don’t tell me you’re unhappy here,” her friend pleaded. “Quint has already been telling me what a great asset you and Russ are to the ranch. We’re so glad to have you both.”
“The ranch is wonderful,” Laurel assured her. “And beautiful. I can see why you love it.”
Smiling, Alexa slung her arm around Laurel’s shoulders. “I hope you’re beginning to love it, too.”
By now little Jonas had kicked his stick pony back into a trot. As Laurel watched the boy, she was reminded all over again of Russ’s revelation of Brooke’s pregnancy. She wasn’t sure why his confession had left her so tortured. It wasn’t as if the woman was actually having Russ’s child. But something about the thought of his ex-wife pushing him to propose marriage to Laurel hadn’t set well. It still didn’t sit well. But she was trying her best to forget it and him.
“I can’t believe your son has grown up so,” Laurel said, and this time she gave her friend a genuine smile. “He’s so adorable. And where is your daughter?”
“Upstairs, taking a nap. Or, she was the last time I looked. Sassy is keeping an eye on her for me. Would you like to go peek at her?” Alexa invited.
“I really should be getting back to work,” Laurel said as she glanced briefly at her watch. “But I’ll go take a short peek. I want to see if she really looks as much like you as she does in the photos you sent me.”
“Great!” She latched onto Laurel’s hand and started out of the kitchen. “Reena, would you—”
“Yes, I’ll keep an eye on the little man while you two are gone,” the cook finished before Alexa could ask the question.
“Thanks, Reena!”
Outside the kitchen they walked down a short hallway until they reached an open doorway. Beyond that was the stairs leading up to the second story. As the two women made the long climb, Alexa kept Laurel’s hand firmly ensconced in hers. The physical connection took her back to their school days, when they’d laughed and giggled and revealed their innermost secrets to each other.
“It’s great to have you here, Alexa. You can’t imagine how much I miss you being around.”
The lovely, black-haired woman shot Laurel a tender smile. “And I miss seeing you. One of these days, when Jonas retires from the Rangers, we’ll get to spend more time here. And that’s something I’m very much looking forward to.”
“When is he planning that?” Laurel asked.
“Well, he’s been a Texas Ranger for nearly fourteen years. I expect he’ll go to twenty or more. It’s something he loves and I’m very proud of him, as you might guess.”
“He didn’t come with you this time?”
Alexa shook her head. “This coming week he has to testify in court over in Harris County—that’s in Houston. Since he has to be away for several days, he thought it might be a good opportunity for me and the kids to come out here for a visit. I wish he could have come, too. But hopefully he can next time.”
By now the two of them had reached the landing, and Alexa led her to an open door to one of the many bedroo
ms.
“I’ll be very quiet so as not to wake her,” Laurel whispered as they entered the room.
Alexa chuckled. “Believe me, you don’t have to whisper. She sleeps through anything. Since Jonas David was still fairly little when I gave birth to her, I guess she naturally got used to his loud bawling. Mother says he was the worst squall bag she’d ever seen.”
At the side of the bed, Laurel stared down at the little girl curled up on the wide mattress. Her hair was as black as her mother’s and hung in soft tendrils around her cherubic face. It wasn’t often that Laurel was around children. Now as she studied this one, a painful longing struck her, and suddenly she desperately wanted to know how it would feel to hold a child of her own, to feel its warmth and to know that life came from her and the man she loved. Oh, God, how wonderful that would be. But if something went wrong, as it had with Lainey, what would she do? How would she cope?
“Her skin looks like she’s come right out of an English rose garden,” Laurel said with hushed awe. “It’s so smooth and creamy. She doesn’t have one freckle like her brother. She’s a beautiful child, Alexa.”
“Jonas says he wishes she wasn’t so pretty,” Alexa said with a wry smile. “He doesn’t want her to get married until she’s thirty.”
Turning away from the bed, Laurel started out of the bedroom and Alexa followed.
“You say thirty like that would make Jessica an old maid. I’m thirty, Alexa.”
The other woman groaned. “Laurel, don’t be so sensitive. I didn’t mean anything like that.” As the two women stepped out of the room and onto the landing, she wrapped her arm affectionately through Laurel’s. “But now that you’ve brought up the subject, you are getting on in years.”
Realizing her friend was teasing, Laurel tried to laugh, but it came out more like a strangled sob. “Oh, Alexa—so much has happened since I moved out here to the ranch. And now—”
The agony in Laurel’s voice instantly wiped the smile from Alexa’s face. “Laurel, honey, what in the world? If something isn’t right, you should have already told me! All you had to do was pick up the phone and punch my number.”
“It’s not the job. It’s—” Laurel broke off with a shake of her head. “I don’t have time for this now. I’ve got to get back to the barn.”
“Not hardly! If a vet and twenty-five or more cowhands can’t take care of things for thirty minutes without you, then this place is falling apart.” She pulled on Laurel’s arm. “Let’s go to my room where we can talk in private.”
When they entered the bedroom, Laurel was amazed to see it was furnished basically as it had been when Alexa was still living at home. And though her surroundings should have been inconsequential at the moment, Laurel was struck by them. Some good things never changed, she thought. At least not for other people. Laurel would never have a home where she could go to find her family, to find that her memory was still cherished and loved.
After closing the door behind them, Alexa sat Laurel down in a big, overstuffed armchair and then took a seat for herself on the end of the bed.
“Okay, we’re alone. Now, tell me everything. And I won’t let you out of here until you do,” she warned. “What’s happened?”
Laurel scrubbed her face with both hands, then let out a long sigh. “Russ asked me to marry him. That’s what!”
Alexa’s eyes grew wide and then with a loud joyful squeal, she leaped off the bed and clasped Laurel’s face between her hands. “Oh, honey, this is wonderful news. I’m so happy for you. So happy!”
By the time she smacked kisses on Laurel’s cheeks, tears were filling her eyes.
“Alexa—wait! You’re getting way ahead of yourself. I told him no.”
Jerking upright, her friend planted her hands on her hips as she stared at Laurel in disbelief. “What? Are you kidding me?”
“Do you honestly think I would joke about something like that?”
Alexa rolled her eyes. “Right. I should know better—Laurel Stanton doesn’t know how to joke.” She stabbed Laurel with an annoyed look. “So why, pray tell me, did you say no?”
Unable to stay seated, Laurel jumped to her feet. “I shouldn’t have to tell you the reasons. You know my problems!”
“Reasons! Problems! Oh, God, Laurel—you make me so angry.”
Her nostrils flaring, she moved away from Alexa and began to wander aimlessly around the room. “I make Russ angry, too. In fact, we’re hardly speaking at the moment. I mean, at work we communicate as we need to. But anything more is—”
Bending her head, she swallowed hard as tears threatened to overtake her. After a few moments passed, she felt Alexa’s hand on her shoulder.
“Laurel, honey,” she said softly, “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. But I meant to. Something or someone needs to shake you and make you see how you’re punishing yourself for no good reason.”
Lifting her head, she looked through a wall of tears at the closest and dearest friend she’d ever had. “Punishing myself? Is that what you think I’m doing? I’m trying to be sensible. I don’t have the background to be a wife. And I especially don’t have what it takes to be a mother!”
“Really? How does anyone know for sure unless they try?”
“And what if I did try and failed? Russ doesn’t deserve that! He’s already had one worthless wife, and I’ve seen with my own eyes how long it’s taken him to get over divorcing her. In fact, I’m not quite sure he is over it,” she muttered.
“What does that mean?” Alexa prodded.
Grimacing, Laurel looked away from her and released a heavy sigh. “He confessed that he saw her back in December at the Blue Mesa. He said they did little more than exchange hellos, and I believe him about that. But he admitted that seeing her had shaken him. In fact, it shook him so much that he decided to change his job. See, Brooke was very pregnant, and that—she—made him realize it was time he took another wife and started a family.”
“Is there anything really so strange in that?” Alexa asked gently. “Sometimes seeing someone from your past puts a person to thinking, especially about the choices we make in our lives. Besides, I don’t really think you’re worried about Russ’s feelings for Brooke. Are you?”
With a rueful shake of her head, Laurel said, “Not really. When he first told me about it, I was a bit angry and hurt. But then I realized I had no right to be. He’s not my husband.”
“But he wants to be your husband. My word, Laurel, you should be jumping for joy! You’ve loved the man for a long, long time.”
Laurel’s mouth fell open. “I—I’ve never said that to you! I didn’t even mention my feelings for Russ until a few weeks ago when we talked about me moving out here to the ranch. And I haven’t loved him for a long, long time. I’m not even sure that I love him now!”
A shrewd smile spread across Alexa’s face. “You can’t fool me, any more than you can fool yourself.”
Turning away from her friend, Laurel began to pace around the spacious bedroom. “Listen, Alexa, I tried to tell Russ that I wasn’t up to marriage and kids. I told him that all I wanted was an affair and—”
“An affair!” Alexa interrupted with dismay. “That’s terrible.”
Stopping in her tracks, Laurel challenged, “Why is it? People do it all the time. Russ and I could enjoy each other’s company and not have all the heartbreak that goes with marriage and kids.”
“Ha! You think not having a piece of paper between you is going to keep everything safe and neat?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Laurel answered glumly. “He won’t go for that idea anyway.”
“I don’t blame the man. If you don’t want to give him everything, then he needs to tell you to get lost!”
“You should be happy, because he’s pretty much told me that already.”
Seeing the misery on Laurel’s face, Alexa relented and with a commiserating expression, walked over to her.
“Laurel, I’m sorry if I’m hurting you. But what I’ve been
saying shouldn’t surprise you. I want the same happiness for you that I have with Jonas and the children. And I believe that deep down you want that same thing, too.”
Laurel’s eyes welled with tears as she released a long sigh of resignation. “Of course, I want it. But not everyone can have what they want, Alexa. What if I became ill like Lainey? What if—”
“What if I was in a fatal car accident? What if I developed a disease or, God forbid, one of my children did? Life is full of what-ifs, Laurel! Don’t waste yours by trying to dodge all the obstacles that are thrown at you. Instead, be fearless and jump straight over them.”
“That takes courage. And I’m not sure I have it.”
Leaning forward, Alexa pressed an encouraging kiss to Laurel’s cheek. “I’m certain that you do.”
“I’ll think about it. Now I’d better get back to the barn.” She started out of the bedroom and Alexa followed.
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow night—if not before,” she said.
Puzzled by that remark, Laurel paused on the landing. “What’s tomorrow night?”
“Dinner. Quint and his family and Grandfather Abe are all coming. We want you and Russ and Maccoy to attend, too. So wear something pretty,” she added impishly.
For Russ’s sake? Did Laurel really want to attract his attention in that way? She couldn’t deny that she did. No more than she could deny to herself that she’d missed being physically close to him these past two weeks. She’d missed seeing warmth in his eyes and hearing his voice gentle with tenderness whenever he spoke to her.
“I’ll try to be presentable,” she promised, then turned and hurried down the stairs.
She was out of the house and halfway to the barn when her cell rang. Seeing the caller was Russ, she answered it promptly.
“Come down to the calving area,” he said without preamble. “I need you.”
“I’m on my way.”
Five minutes later, she found him in one of the birthing stalls with a cow that had just given birth to twins. The sight of the identical babies lying on the straw, their black hair still damp with birthing fluid, drew a squeal of delight from Laurel.
The Doctor's Calling Page 16
