I've Seen You Naked and Didn't Laugh: A Geeky Love Story

by Eden Butler

  “Are they…well.”

  “It wasn’t recent,” I told her leaning my head back to watch the thick wooden beams stained and glazed to a shine between the rafters above. “I just found out, though. Ellie thought she’d rub salt in the wound while Will and I were…fussing about something else and let it slip that they’d had a fling a while back.”

  The table in front of the sofa was glass and metal and I resisted the urge to prop my feet on top of it just to stretch out my legs. The flight from L.A. a few days before had been a long one and I still hadn’t been able to relax enough from the trip and the drama I’d tried to leave behind.

  Beside me my mother turned, pulling her foot up to sit on it as she slid her fingers through my hair absently. “Well if it was a while ago…”

  “Mama, it wasn’t just…that.” I couldn’t mention what had happened or why I’d kept myself from Will these past few months. My mother had asked and I’d only given her vague non-answers. But now wasn’t the time to rehash everything, not with a few dozen four year olds hoping around on the vagina ship. Still, I could connect a few dots for her, to keep her from asking too many questions.

  “It…there were other things too. That movie role, the one I was supposed to get, but Ellie stole from me?” Mama nodded, her frown deepening as though she knew she wouldn’t like what I’d say to her. “Yeah, well, Will told her to take it from me. Turns out he didn’t want me working with the director.”

  “Why on earth not?”

  “Mama, I don’t know why that insane man does anything. He and Ellie, that was just the straw, you know?”

  She squeezed my shoulder, pulling me close to her chest. “That’s an awfully big straw, honey.” I nodded, silently agreeing with her before she sat up. “That fella on the news last night mentioned something about that show they’re doing, him and Ellie. It’s gone off.”

  “What?” My mother took my cup from me when I sat up, coming to the edge of the big sofa. “What do you mean it’s gone off?”

  “That Alibi show, the one you told me Ellie was producing?” I nodded. “Yeah, that good looking fella on the local channel, the one with the red hair like your daddy’s?” Again I nodded, silently wishing she’d hurry with her explanation. “Anyway, he said last night that the show had been cancelled. I only think they said anything at all because Ellie’s sister is the noon anchor.”

  “Cancelled.” My mother moved her head, likely thinking a million things, all of which she’d keep to herself because she knew I didn’t need a lecture. Still, the information explained why Ellie had been at Cooper’s looking for Will, and why she had said she had business to talk to him about, alone. It made me feel a little bad for how I had acted—but only a little.

  I had never understood why Will had agreed to do Ellie's show in the first place. According to what I had learned, they weren’t a couple then, well, not anymore at least. Was this cancellation some sort of karmic retribution for both of them, for what they had done, in leading the public on about their relationship and yeah, well, for what they had done to me? This was Will’s second cancelation. One more and his agency might get nervous. But then again, this was Will Callahan we were talking about. He was always in demand. And Ellie certainly was capable of finding ways to get what she wanted.

  “Rainey, I don’t mean to step on any toes at all,” Mama started and I repressed a snort. Sometimes it felt like stepping on toes was her favorite form of cardio. “But, I have to say that you packing up and going off to England for six months is a little, well, baby, it’s chicken shit is what it is.”

  “Mama…”

  “Well, I just mean that if you are leaving because you’re hurt by this thing with Will and Ellie…”

  “It’s a good role and it’ll be a fun shoot. I love England. It’s so…so…”

  “Wet. And gray and wet, honey. Rains a lot and it’s very dark and I don’t know if it’s such a smart thing, you running off all by yourself with no family or friends around…”

  “Mama, I’m thirty years old and I’ll be surrounded by a cast and crew. I won’t be alone.”

  “You’ll be lonely.”

  “Newsflash, Mom, that’s been my life since…” I took a breath, realizing my loud, bratty attitude had drawn the attention of some of the ladies outside. Several women wearing what Riley called the “mom uniform” of hair buns, coffee mugs, Baylor hoodies and yoga pants, had half turned, trying not to look too obviously like they were doing their best to eavesdrop on our conversation. No doubt they were hunting gossip—it seemed to be the main feminine pastime in Waco—and Raine Quinn, the somewhat famous sister of the Waco Wildcats football coach was fodder enough for juicy gossip on a slow day.

  Mom offered the onlookers a smile to let them know that she knew exactly what they were trying to do, and then pulled me up off the sofa and moved us away from those open glass doors. She led me, with Ripper on my heels, through the house, into the back guest bedroom. There was a large window at the back of the room, but it looked out onto the front lawn, not the crowded back patio.

  She let me breathe. Mom let me rest on the window seat with my face buried in my hands and she didn’t speak. There weren’t any pearls of wisdom or much in the way of her telling me what an awful shit I was being. I knew that well enough.

  Finally, after a few second where she let me manage to calm myself, to gather my thoughts until my temper had eased, my mother sat across from me, her knees nearly touching mine until I was ready to glance up at her.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally said, focused on my nails, on the small hangnail at the corner of my left thumb. “I…might be running but, Mom, I feel like I have to.”

  “Why, baby?” She took my hand, pulling my attention to her sweet face. She had a large curve to her bottom lip and her eyes were wide, the irises dark. I’d always wanted to look like her—olive complexion and big black eyes. The French in her gave her an exotic look, something that was the complete opposite to my red hair and freckles.

  “Because I’m in love with him.” Mom’s smile was instant, but not mocking. “Because I can’t see him day in and out and wait until he figures out I’m right here…waiting. I can’t…I’m tired of putting my entire life on hold. I’m tired of wanting someone I can’t have.”

  Mom gathered me in her arms, and held me like she always did when I needed comforting. We stayed like that for a few moments, and I breathed in her scent of gardenias and linen, so familiar, and it centered me, reminded me that there was a whole world beyond my own problems. My mother couldn’t always make the problems go away, but she could make me more able to carry them.

  We broke away, and she took a step back, her hands traveling down to take a hold of my own. Then she nodded, holding my gaze for several lingering seconds, looking for something she’d keep to herself. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, baby. You aren’t waiting on anything. It’s right there for you to take.” When I shook my head, my mother stopped my complaint before I could speak it. “You just need to give him a push, make him realize he needs to open his eyes.”

  “It’s not that simple. He betrayed me, just like Ellie did.”

  “I don’t believe that, honey. Ellie... well, Ellie is a girl who has grown up with back biting and betrayal. Poor thing, that’s how she was raised, just look at that family of hers! But Will? No, baby. Will Callahan is a lot of things, but at his core, he loves you. If he’s done something to make you think differently, then he has a reason.”

  “You’re taking his side?”

  “No Raine, there aren’t any sides to take.” Mom pushed back the hair from my eyes, giving me a look I hadn’t seen from her since I sat on her bed, promising her I wouldn’t forget who she’d raised me to be before I left for California. That same look on her face now showed me all the hope she had for me, all the things she prayed I’d take for myself. “Not when it comes to seeing my baby girl happy. There aren’t sides. There is only the smile on your face at the end of the day. That’
s all I want for you.”

  “And that’s why I need to take this job in London, Mom,” I explained, searching for the right words. “I want Will. I love him. Well, I kind of hate him a little bit now, but I love him. I want nothing more than for him to love me. But I can’t force that, Mom."

  My mother started to protest, but I shushed her with a sigh. “I need some time away. Can't you understand that? I can’t live so close to him, be so close to him, and not go crazy because he doesn’t want me back. If he loves me, really loves me, he’ll know. But he’ll have to be the one to make the next move. Because I’m a damned good actress, but I don’t want to be playing the role of the best friend for the rest of my life, not when my own truth is so much bigger than that.”

  My mother looked into my eyes, and whatever she saw there must have convinced her because she folded me into her arms again and whispered into my ear, “Just let us know how you’re doing, sweetheart. We’ll be here when you’re ready to come home again.”

  INTERVAL

  Raine: I’m sorry about your show.

  Will: I’m sorry about…everything.

  Raine: I’m leaving. For England. Six-month shoot. The Reynolds project.

  Will: You can’t.

  Raine: I saw your interview on ET. I saw you and Ellie together.

  Will: It’s not what you think. Please. Don’t leave yet. We need to work this out. Just…don’t leave.

  Raine: I’m already gone.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “Welcome, everyone to Access Entertainment. Tonight, new details emerge from the abrupt cancellation of NBC’s hit show, Alibi. We’re hearing details from insiders on the set that indicate the cancellation wasn’t due to poor ratings but the infighting going on behind the scenes…”

  The screen above me flashed images of Ellie walking through LAX with paparazzi surrounding her. She wore a Yankees ball cap and sunglasses that were nearly as big as her face.

  “Get out of my way, you troll,” she bit at one photographer that got a little too close with his lens. Her Texas was showing and she didn’t seem to care.

  “Sources on the set are releasing information about Ellie Garcia’s demanding shooting schedule and the pressure she put on her cast such as long work days, as well as creative differences between her and leading actor Will Callahan.”

  “Ms. Quinn? Would you like some wine?” The lounge attendant didn’t have an accent. She was blonde with perfect straight white teeth but her smile was easy and genuine. This was the second time she’d offered me something and the interruption was welcome. I could stand to have the images of Ellie and Will on the screen. blotted out for a few moments.

  “Thanks, but I’m okay.” I lifted my half-eaten bag of Cheetos with a teasing insouciance. “I’d love a bottle of water if you have any handy, though.” The attendant grinned and walked toward the bar on the other side of the small lounge, pulling out a sweating bottle of water. She wiped it dry as she returned and handed it to me with yet another smile. “Any news on when the plane will be ready?” Drake Reynolds had assured my agent that every convenience would be handled for my trip to England, but when I’d arrived an hour before the flight, I'd been informed that there was a delay, something about a storm looming overhead. That didn’t really make sense. This was Texas. We could handle thunderstorms, but perhaps these particular pilots were made of lesser stuff.

  “Control hasn’t given us the all clear yet. As soon as we have it, you’ll be able to board. Unless, of course you’d like a car to take you somewhere?”

  “No,” I said, nodding a thanks when the woman handed me a linen napkin. “I can wait it out.”

  “I said get out of my way!” Ellie’s televised tantrum interrupted our conversation, her shrill voice almost overloading the speakers. Just like usual, the BFW knew how to grab attention and keep it.

  The attendant flashed a glance at the screen, head shaking as she laughed. “She’s something else, right?”

  “You could say that.”

  The woman looked behind her, pulling a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “Um, we’re not really supposed to bother the guests, but I just wanted to say, Ms. Quinn, that I really loved Clockwork Castle. Me and my kids used to watch it every Saturday when I got off shift. We hated to see it end.”

  “Me, too. Thank you. That means a lot.”

  She picked up the paper cup and empty Cheetos bag I hadn’t had a chance to clear away, waving off my apology as she cleaned the ottoman in front of my seat. “I heard once that she,” she nodded toward the TV, “was from Waco. Can you believe that? Carrying on the way she does.” On the screen Ellie swung at a photographer, knocking loose her ballcap and nudging her glasses to the side of her face. Underneath her pathetic disguise Ellie wore no makeup and looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks. “You can really tell the people with no good upbringing. That’s sad, really.”

  “It is,” I told her, feeling an unusual bout of pity for Ellie as she went on marching through the airport with no reprieve from the photographers and crowd in sight. “But she’s had a rough life. It’s hard when you don’t have people around you can count on.”

  “NBC cancelled Alibi and sources report that there were several offers from both major and cable networks to pick up the show, but Will Callahan declined to negotiate for a new contract. That, we’re told, let to a major fight between showrunner Garcia and her leading man. So that’s what we know folks. Sadly, Alibi is no more.”

  The reporter on the screen went on speaking, but I lowered the volume, centering my attention on the video of Will, waving to the camera as he left the studio and got to his Mustang. He didn’t smile. He didn’t do much but unlock his car and shake his head when the reporter went on asking him questions. Like Ellie, he looked drawn and tried. Selfishly I wondered what had kept him up at night. Was it the drama of the show being cancelled, or had Will been worried about me knowing the truth?

  My cell suddenly started vibrating in my hands and I swiped the against the screen, accepting the call from Lynn when I spotted her smiling face on the screen.

  “Hey, lady,” I said, ignoring the TV and only half seeing the spot promoting some new action film Dane Ripley was staring in. He winked at the camera and flirted with the same pretty blonde who’d interviewed Will a few months back.

  “Listen, I just wanted to give you a head’s up.” My stomach coiled and I braced for the bad news I was sure was coming. Lynn only mentioned ‘head’s up’ details when shit was hitting the proverbial fan. “Cooper Vilmont has signed up as EP for the London project.”

  Instantly, my suspicions rose. I’d only spoken to Coop once since I ditched his small indie film and it had been a brief conversation where I mainly let him yell at me for five minutes straight.

  “And that means what, exactly?” My voice was steady, but my heartbeat sped. “Am I off the film?”

  “Why would you be off the film?” Lynn asked, her voice pitching with that anxious cadence that made her sound like a five-year-old.

  “Because Cooper Vilmont is pissed at me.”

  “Oh.” She released a breath, the sound of the exhale was loud in my ear. “Well, no, there are only a couple of casting changes—the role of the sister in law and the male lead.”

  “Really? So Neil Blake is out?”

  “Yeah.” In the background I heard her footsteps as she sounded like she was in a hurry. Her heels vibrated some hard surface floor as she breathed into the receiver. A click of her keys, then the slam of a car door and Lynn’s breathing evened out. “But that wasn’t Cooper Vilmont’s doing. Blake had another project that ran long, and he couldn’t get out of it. He had to drop out. The current EP didn’t want to move forward without Blake, so Coop signed on as EP to keep the money from defaulting. So obviously they are planning on bringing someone else in.”

  “Any ideas who they cast?”

  “None. I hear they’re holding auditions right now. No time to lose. Might be hard to find someone last min
ute, though.” Lynn started her engine, the background noise of her stereo muffling her voice before she lowered the volume. “I just wanted to let you know before you landed and wondered what happened to Neil.”

  “I gotcha,” I told her, as my own ideas of who had been cast filtered into my mind. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll call you when I land.”

  “Good. Safe flight, sugar.”

  Cooper wasn’t remotely smooth. The delayed plan, him signing on as EP, there being a new male lead; all factors added up to one conclusion: my friends were meddlesome as hell.

  I stood, walking toward the wall of windows overlooking the airfield. There were at least a dozen planes parked and taxied on the runway. The sky had cleared and the dark black had shifted, the light gray billowing clouds dimming as they moved away from the sun.

  Taking a breath, I opened my contact list on my phone, spotting Cooper’s number just two calls down on the log. I kept the speaker on as I watched the clouds moving and the row of planes moving with the direction of the guys in bright yellow jumpsuits on the runway.

  It only took three rings before Coop picked up.

  “Pinkie…”

  “You plotting something?” I asked him, shaking my head at how different he sounded. There wasn’t any irritation in his voice and the sharp biting tone I’d heard from him the last time we spoke was completely absent. In fact, he sounded way too upbeat for something not to be up.

  “What would I be plotting?”

  “You tell me.”

  “Is this about the Reynolds project?” I’d recognize the hint of humor in his tone anywhere. Cooper was a terrible liar and even worse at keeping secrets. He was absolutely lousy at poker and because he couldn’t bullshit a soul, Jojo had made him stop playing years ago. I saw why now. I cleared my throat and Cooper didn’t bother hiding his laughter. “You know that I am a very busy and important Hollyweird big shot, right?”