I've Seen You Naked and Didn't Laugh: A Geeky Love Story

by Eden Butler

  “Cut the shit. What are you plotting?”

  “Honestly, Pinkie, it’s not like that.”

  I moved away from the window, turning when the attendant tapped on the door and called my name. A small nod to acknowledge her and the woman waved me out of the lounge to board the plane.

  “Then why don’t you tell me how it is?”

  Cooper’s voice was deep, as though he’d just gotten out of bed, but there was a gravel in his tone that reminded me how late he typical worked. It was going on ten a.m. and the time difference from Texas to L.A. was two hours. Knowing Cooper, he probably had worked through the night and hadn’t gone to bed yet.

  “I like the premise Reynolds came up with. Demon bounty hunters. Kick ass women. You know how I like baller women. I like Kyle Pritchard. He writes a good script and, well, I guess you’re okay too.”

  “You’re funny.”

  “Wi. I’ve been saying this for years, me zanmi.

  “Cooper, if you’re trying to pull some sort of matchmaker bullshit casting Will as my lead…”

  “I’m not!” In the background Cooper stretched in his chair and I recognized the familiar whine of the springs moving. He had to be in his office. That Wells chair was noisy as hell when he’d been in it all night. “Rainey, I believe in you and your talent. So does Jo. We always have. You’re our family and we appreciate a good story. When I see a good project that has potential, I like to pounce. And if you’re working on it, and my name is attached, that’s just a bonus. People have the idea that we make a good team.” He cleared his throat again, muttering as though he didn’t want me to hear him, “We all do.”

  “Coop…”

  “I’m gonna stop you right there, Pinkie.” Another squeak from the chair and the attendant led me toward the tarmac and down to the runway, not to the commercial jet I was expecting, but a private plane I recognized as Coop’s. “I want you to work hard. I want you to have the break from L.A. and the Ellie bullshit that you need but I want you to realize that you aren’t alone in any of this. We all lost J.J. and we’ve spent the better part of the year trying to get through it. Sometimes, though, we can’t manage it without a little help.”

  “Cooper, that’s not the only issue. There’s so much…”

  “I know it’s not,” he interrupted, affecting a tone I recognized as Cooper at his most stubborn. “There’s a lot of bullshit with everything that happened but I want to remind you who has had your back, who’s been there day in and day out even when you didn’t want them there.” That made me pause. Was he talking about himself and Jojo, or Will? Knowing Coop, it could be either...

  “I was going to fly out with you, meet the crew heads, check out the set, see what Reynolds has planned in detail, but JoJo all of sudden decided to take the kids to Universal this weekend and I’m due for a little family time. But the plane was all ready to go, so I thought, ‘what the hell?’ Everyone should get the chance to ride in style once in a while. It’s gassed up and has a flight plan, and everything’s all set. You take it, you get to London and you try to remember you’re there to be amazing. And Raney?”

  “Yeah, Coop?” I couldn’t make the lump lodged in my throat lessen as I climbed the plane steps and handed the flight attendant my bag.

  “He still thinks you’re the bee’s knees.”

  I knew it the second Lynn had called to give me a head’s up. I knew it when I heard the laughter and wicked amusement in Coop’s tone. I knew it the moment I walked onto the runway and saw the Gulfstream G550 taxied and ready to go. And I knew my friend Cooper had plotted something pretty damn epic to be that proud of himself. But my heart was still pounding like a schoolgirl’s when I walked onto the plane and stood in the aisle, coming face to face with my best friend, Will Callahan.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  PRESENT

  What do you say to the person who broke your heart? It’s human nature to make them want to suffer. You did, why shouldn’t they? It’s understandable to want them to share the pain you feel, especially when they are willing to acknowledge how deeply, how badly they hurt you.

  You don’t expect them, I would imagine, to grovel and beg for forgiveness before you can utter a sound. At least I didn’t, but Will stood there towards the rear of the plane, watching me, hands resting on the back of a seat with a bowl of Swedish Fish and a side of Ranch dressing on the table in front of it. He’d brought snacks. I knew he meant business.

  I couldn’t help myself. Some of that bubbling rage that had fed me, had warmed me since that night at the mansion deflated a little bit as Will remained silent, waiting to see what my reaction would be.

  “Mr. Callahan, Ms. Quinn?” the flight attendant called, offering us a smile as she came into the seating area. “If you’re ready, we’ll take off in five minutes.”

  “Can you give us ten?” Will asked, ignoring me when I glared at him.

  “Of course, Mr. Callahan,” the attendant said, disappearing behind the curtained entrance toward the cockpit.

  Did he think that’s all it would take to sort this out? Ten minutes and a bowl of Swedish Fish after months and months of distance? Ten minutes after a decade of secrets?

  He must have picked up on whatever expression I made because Will moved his chin to silently offer me the chair in front of the tray, keeping his distance. He was using that famous Callahan pout again, something he knew wouldn’t work on me, but just couldn't keep from trying. I moved toward the back of the plane to meet him, anyway.

  There were bench seats along the back and two rows of plush, leather seats along the left and right. Will had set up a laptop, the Swedish Fish and a few blankets along the bench and that’s where we sat, side by side, with only the tray of snacks separating us.

  “Ten minutes,” I grumbled, absently reaching for a red fish before I dunked it in the dressing.

  “What’s that?”

  I shot him a glare rather than answering and was on my second fish before Will grabbed my hand. “Do you mind?” I asked him, intensifying that glare when he wouldn’t release my hand. “Thank you,” I said, trying hard to hold onto my anger because it felt familiar and safe. Because it had replaced Will these past few days when I wanted something to comfort me. Because it allowed me to deflect.

  “Rainey…”

  I dabbed another fish into the dressing, glancing at Will when he paused and I wondered what he’d say or how he’d propose that we move past all of this. “Rainey,” he started again, frowning when I sucked a fish. “Shit, spit it out. Give me a second.”

  “Am I being noisy?”

  “No,” he said, opening his palm which I ignored. “I can’t take you putting things into your mouth when I want…” He shut up when I arched an eyebrow, grunting to himself. Will waited several moments, scrubbing his face before he stood. I could only watch him as he moved around the cab, pacing, flustered as he muttered and mumbled under his breath.

  “Did you practice this or something?” I asked curious when he kept repeating the same thing to himself. He moved his head a jerky nod and I tried not to laugh. “Are you an actor or not?” Another nod, this one added with an irritated glare that he dropped as quickly as he’d offered it. “My God, Will are you an actor or not? Deliver the damn lines…”

  “That’s not. Shit.” I expected excuses from him, maybe apologies, but I didn’t expect Will to kneel in front of me, caging me with his large arms as he leaned over me, hands on either side of the head rest. “You can be the most stubborn, intimidating woman…”

  “Me? Intimidating? You are so full of shit.”

  “Yeah, intimidating. Powerful.”

  Will moved close, seeming to forget that we only had minutes until we took off. Forgetting that he had lied, he’d manipulated and helped Ellie to betray me. Sleeping with her I could forgive. It was ages ago and we’d all been a little stupid when we first became friends. I’d met Cooper’s younger brother at one of their parties and made out with him during a marathon shot guzzl
ing round. It wasn’t the same, but still...

  “Powerful?” I asked, holding my breath.

  He moved his head in a nod, reaching his hand to stroke the underside of my bottom lip. “Powerful,” he repeated. “Powerful because having no word from you is like being starved. Because when I couldn’t hear your voice or see your face, I felt like I was drifting, like nothing would keep me anchored. Lost, Raine. I was lost without you.”

  “That’s…that doesn’t change the fact that you helped Ellie betray me.” I closed my eyes when he moved still closer, slipping his thumb over my top lip, and I reached up to pull his hand away. “Will…stop.”

  “You want me to?” He smelled so good, so warm and that sensation came back to me; the sense of feeling safe and warm and finally home.

  “Yeah…yes,” I managed tamping down the desire to pull him close. When he didn’t stop touching me, I pulled harder on his wrist, brushing back his touch before I stared up at him, this time meaning it. “Stop.”

  He hesitated, nodding once as his gaze lingered on my mouth and slipped up to my eyes, and then he sighed, dropping his hand. He looked down at the floor once, as if considering what to say—or resigning himself with what he had to say—and then he looked back at me.

  “Walker Dixon wanted a little ingénue to keep as a pet on the set. That was a not so well kept secret, it’s just the way he did things. You didn’t see what Ellie did, how often she stayed with him in his room, in his trailer.” He paused, as if to take another track. “Erik did mural work for the set, you remember?” I nodded, recalling how Erik kept silent about working on the Dixon project because J.J. had told him that Ellie stole the role from me. They’d never mentioned his time on that set because they knew how devastated I’d been by Ellie’s betrayal. “Erik told J.J. that Ellie followed Dixon around at all times. They slept in the same room, they ate at the same places, at the same time. She did whatever he asked of her. She told me, years later, that he’d call her a whore or a slut right before an emotional scene just to get a reaction. And God, how he treated her when they were out in public....” He paused, and his head hung down to his chest, as though considering what to say next.

  “I’d been hearing stories like that about him for years. Not just secondhand gossip, but stories from the people themselves, from people who were there. I made it my business to check around, because there was no way in hell I was going to see you hurt, no matter what it might have meant to your career.” His voice had gone all soft and hard at the same time, and when he raised his eyes to mine, I could see the depths of his own misery roiling in them. “That's why I turned down the lead. I couldn’t be around, be a part of that... that culture. Then when you told me Millie had gotten you an audition..." He cast about for words. “God help me, Rainey, I couldn’t let that happen to you.”

  Typical. “I’m from Texas, Will. I have three older brothers. You don’t think I know how to watch myself? I’ve always handled the bullshit double standard in this industry.”

  “I know that.” He grabbed my hands and I let him, fighting with myself but only a little. “I know how strong you are, Pinkie. But I also know how stubborn you are. You’d have stuck around, let him push your buttons just to show him that he didn’t intimidate you.”

  “Yeah.” I dropped his hand, folding my arms tight. “And?”

  “And it would have destroyed your reputation.” Will ran his fingers through his hair, using his standard nervous gesture to give him a second to think. “No matter what, that film would have been your ruin; either you would have taken Dixon up on his offer in exchange for whatever that bullshit was that he wanted, or you'd refuse and be blacklisted.”

  “But that didn’t work. Millie blacklisted me anyway.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t know that until after Ellie did the audition.”

  “You told her to.” I didn’t look at him them, still not able to believe he’d orchestrated her audition.

  “I was worried, Pinkie. I didn’t want you to be in that situation. I mentioned it to Ellie, and she guilted me out, telling me that you were so excited about the opportunity, that it would break your heart if you didn't at least try for it. She offered to do it instead. I told her all about Dixon’s reputation and warned her away, too, but she scoffed at me, and said she had what it takes to make it work. Said she had already heard all the shit about Dixon and that his game was right up her alley, coming from the family she did, whatever that means. And she insisted that she was made of tougher stuff than you. She made it sound like she would be doing you a favor, keeping you from getting caught up in all that shit. Dammit, Raine, she insisted she go to the audition in your place, said she would blame it on a mix up and that everything would work out. I didn’t believe for a second she’d go to the lengths she did to keep you from auditioning and I sure as hell didn’t think she’d be such a bitch about it afterward.”

  But she was. She had been catty and cruel. She’d been happy to rub it in my face that she’d gotten something I wanted. “Was that it? Why she acted the way she did? Was it because you’d slept with her and didn’t want her anymore? Was it because we were close and it galled her that I had something she never really did—an honest to goodness friendship with no hidden agenda? You think…”

  My mind went back over the memories of Ellie and me together. Every one of them had us being good as long as she was the one on top, as long as she was the one who went home with the trophy. She didn’t mind me winning the talent competitions or getting the senior theater award or having a higher GPA, none of those things threatened her. I was happy to be her friend and had never given her any cause to think otherwise, until... until that damned web series. The one I never knew she even wanted, the one I wasn't aware she had auditioned for. But for a pretty girl from Waco who was used to being on top—until shamed and betrayed by both her mother and her sister, and who knows who else in those pageant side rooms and high school locker rooms—maybe my being the only friend who had ever stuck with her, the only one who she had felt safe with, was actually setting us up to become enemies. Because everyone who she had ever known who was supposed to be her champion had ended up screwing her. That's why she hated me so much after I got that web series, even though she had must have known I had no ulterior motives. It was just life playing out for Ellie the way it always did. And that's why she took the Dixon project. What was one more humiliation, one more debasement, when she was used to that, and this time, it might make her a star?

  “Rainey?”

  Will’s question brought me back to the here and now. I shook my head to clear it. This was not the time to unravel Ellie’s motivations, not when Will, my Will, was kneeling in front of me, baring his soul.

  “I felt I lost you there for a moment.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’'s nothing. It’s just... things are all messed up and I hate it. You, my career, Ellie. I just don’t get it...”

  “Rainey, I don’t know why Ellie reacted the way she did. But she used the entire situation for her benefit.” Will stepped back, moving around the plane like he couldn’t shake the tension from his limbs. “She used that leverage for years. The only reason she wanted me on Alibi was to draw in my fanbase. She thought my AURA people would follow me there. When they didn’t, she wanted to change the premise, turn our characters into these stupid star-crossed lovers. I put my foot down. It didn’t go well.

  “Still, Ellie always had an agenda and it was my fault that things got so bad between you two, just because I was weak and didn’t want you thinking I’d done anything to be cruel to you. I was out of line, Rainey, I know that. I knew it the second I called Millie to get Ellie the audition. I’d felt like shit for years, I would have even if it hadn't of backfired. It cost you your best friend.”

  “It did,” I said, mumbling, focused on my hands, the small pinkie ring I wore. “Two best friends. Then and now.”

  “Please don’t say that.” Will returned to his knees, pulling on my waist to bring my
gaze back at him. “Look at me.”

  “Will, no… please.”

  “You don’t mean that. You don’t…Rainey, I’m your best friend. I always will be no matter what…I can’t lose you.” He smelled sweet, not like the normal scent of his soap or the musky aroma that sometimes can onto his skin when he sweated. I didn’t care what he smelled like just then; I only cared that he was here, that there was something looming between us that didn’t feel like dread.

  “Rainey, please. Look at me.” Something in my mind that sounded an awful lot like my mother’s voice, told me to listen for once. It told me to stop worrying about the why and hows and start feeling. I managed to bring my gaze up, got as far as Will’s mouth and he took my face between his hands, kissing me soundly, until there I was dizzy and breathless and blissfully happy that I was.

  “Will…”

  “Hell, Rainey, I don’t care about Ellie.” He kissed me again, pulling my legs to his hips to twist us around and set me atop his lap. “I don’t care that you lied about us sleeping together. If I’m being honest, I’ve wanted that to happen for years, even if I couldn’t admit it to myself.” Will kissed my neck, pulling me toward his mouth. “I don’t care what anyone thinks or says. I only care that you’re here, that I am, that we’ll have six long, uninterrupted months together away from L.A. and the drama of our lives.” He adjusted us in the seat, kissing me again before I could say a word. Behind me the attendant walked into the cab and I felt Will wave her off as he devoured my mouth, holding me so tightly that I barely had room to move my body as I responded to his touch and tongue against mine.

  “Will,” I tried again, growing more breathless by the second. “I don’t care that you slept with Ellie.”

  “Good. It was a long time ago, and even then it meant nothing. Not a damn thing,” he managed, distracted by my ear and the rake of my nails against his back. “Besides, you’re my best friend. Then, now. You know the best and worst about me. I’ve seen you sick and weak and shining like a diamond. You’ve seen me naked and didn’t laugh. No one knows me like you do, Rainey. You’ve been the only thing I could never do without for a long time, and God bless it, I love you something fierce.”